Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Double Jeopardy

Last night we stayed up late watching ‘Double Jeopardy’ (what a hot punani Ashley Judd is! I struggled to keep my tongue in!). So it was 1 am before we got to bed.

My cock was hard, but I doubted I would get any action at that time of night. I snuggled up naked to Mistress, my protuberance sticking into Her arse and we went to sleep – I didn’t even offer to eat Her, and she did not touch my cock despite its protuberant nature.

This morning it was, of course, hard again. Again I poked it into Her as we lay together, and again She did not touch or acknowledge it. Eventually I relented and went for the only sex I would get: I offered to eat Her arse or pussy. She chose Her arse and I went down on Her, licking deep and pushing in for Her (and my!) pleasure.

When She’d had enough She got out of bed to do Her Pilates. Confirming that this is after all Her way. I wonder what else it bodes. Clearly it involves limited orgasms for me.

I am fascinated that after all the blow outs and arguing we’ve had in the last month She clearly wants to dominate me still. I wonder if or when She’ll reach for the cane.

My offer to eat Her this morning is the closes I’ve come to ‘seducing Her dominant nature’ this year. I didn’t do it to seduce Her dominance. I did it because I wanted the sex act with Her. I maintain that I will not seduce Her dominant nature. I will simply permit Her whatever She wants, Her way.

Friday, January 18, 2008


I’ve been pondering my last post.

It’s not that Mistress does not order me around this year – As I said, She did tell me to go and make Her tea while She read a magazine. And once She told me to go down on Her (but then allowed me to cum hard inside Her after She had cum).

When Her shoes or boots are clean She still leaves them in the utility room for me to clean, and She leaves her hand wash laundry under my sink for me to deal with – so there is still a fair deal of dominance going on (My cock is getting hard thinking how much there still is going on…!)

But on the other hand I’ve stopped putting away the laundry. I hated doing that, and if She’s not going to tell me that I have to do it now we’re living Her way, then I’m not about to volunteer…..

So it’s actually quite interesting stuff, and since I’m not going to ask for punishment, if She decides to introduce it then it will be Her Way because She wants to influence me, which is of course the only punishment I welcome.

There we go…

2008 - "Your Way"

Mistress and I had chat about our relationship as the new year approached. The long and the short of it was She felt I had expectations of Her in my FemDom fantasies that She was not comfortable with. She said She felt I had ‘read too much’ and developed an expectation of ‘how it should be’.

I asked Her how She wanted to live, what She wanted to do – She said She wanted things to work her way.

I explained to Her that in fact I did not read any FemDom literature, because other people’s fantasies did not interest me much – I was more concerned with us being happy.

I said I had no expectations at all, and that She should not worry about this, but lead as She chose.

We agreed to think about it.

After a day or two’s thought the idea came to me, and I suggested to Her that our motto for 2008 should be ‘2008 - Your Way’ where we would do everything Her Way, whatever that was, not ‘my way. She was delighted with this idea, and so we agreed, for Her the motto was ‘My Way’. For me, the motto is ‘Her Way’.

Since then I have consciously withdrawn all submissive behaviour from the old style, and started to live a vanilla life, waiting for Her lead to guide me in Her Way.

This year I have even initiated sex once, leading to penetration and orgasm. She expressed shock that I had cum without permission, but I said nothing, allowing Her to lead Her Way – and She chose to drop it.

She has since allowed me to cum in Her after She initiated sex, but on that occasion I did ask if She wanted me to cum in Her.

She has not caned me this year – I have certainly not encouraged Her to, and neither will I.
At times I get the impression She wants a vanilla life. But last night after we had eaten I was watching the news after a busy day, and She was reading Her magazine, She asked/instructed me to go and make Her tea, which I gladly did. (Of course in the old days I would have offered to make Her tea every day at this time or been punished for it).

Then this morning my cock was hard and I pushed against Her and massaged Her tits, when She told me to sleep – meaning ‘leave off the sex’, which I immediately did.

My cock has not been getting as hard this year. The absence of a clear FemDom structure has impeded my libido considerably.

I find it quite confusing at times. There are times I have thought that if She asks me to present myself for the cane then I shall refuse, as we do not live a FemDom life any more, so why should I suffer the cane? But then there are times that I of course miss it, and would be very excited at the idea of Her caning me ‘Her Way’.

My concern would be that She canes me because She thinks She is doing me a favour. That I would not like, as the cane hurts and it does me no favours at all if that pane is not for Her glory.
Interesting new year.

I think it’s just a matter of time before She does cane me, and that will be an interesting turning point. In the meantime I live vanilla and await Her guidance on Her Way.