Thursday, August 30, 2007


Dinner last Friday night was great, and our morning lie in with the kids away at their Grandma’s was a rare luxury.

Mistress did not have time to cane me and get ready for dinner, so I was lucky enough to go for dinner without any pain.

- 0 -

Saturday morning after I had made Mistress Her tea in bed we were discussing what to do for the rest of the day. Mistress announced that in the morning I would be sexually satisfying Her, and receiving my strokes. She asked me which I would like first.

I replied that I would like then in whatever order gave Her most pleasure and was delighted when She chose to cane me first. This made me very pleased, at the thought that She presumably chose to cane me first because doing so whet Her sexual appetitite, making the sex that would follow more pleasurable for Her. I certainly hope so. If caning me makes my Mistress sexually excited then She is likely to do it more often and harder, and that has to be good for my submissive development.

So I got out of bed, bucked on my wrist and ankle restraints and lay back on our four poster. Mistress looped the ropes over the posts and I was restrained, naked bum up, at Her pleasure.
I pleaded for mercy before hand, promising Mistress that I would be a better slave for Her, and that the caning was not necessary, but She would have none of it, and laid into me.

I shouted, cried and begged for mercy through each of the fourty or so strokes that followed, but Mistress did not relent, applying each of them diligently, and making me apologise for each shortcoming before and after its related punishment. Eventually, hollering for mercy and drivelling, my ordeal came to and end, following which Mistress released me.

She instructed me to go and get Her rabbit, and then told me how to apply this, my mouth and fingers to Her to bring Her to multiple orgasms. Eventually this too was through and we got up, showered and went for a bike ride out to a pub for lunch. Needless to say I had not cum. I did not resent this as I actually think it is right that Mistress should be the only one to experience direct pleasure from any sex with me.

- 0 -

Sunday night watching telly my cock was hard, and I asked Mistress’ permission to take it out and play with it, which She kindly gave. I stroked gently as we watched and talked telly, delighted at the rare occurrence of exposing myself to Her downstairs, and most grateful for the opportunity to do so.

The excitement got to me and I decided to ask Mistress to please lay Her hand on my cock, touch, feel and play with it. She thought about my request and then reached forward to do so, telling me as She did that I would get ten strokes in exchange for the proviledge. By the time She told me this Her hand was on my cock, and the pleasure so intense that I was fine with the exchange, in heaven as I was.

Mistress played with me stroking my cock about 7 or 8 times before letting go and telling me to put it away which I of course did.

- 0 -

Later than night in bed Mistress was rampant and had me eat and penetrate Her multiple times. Interestingly it was She that rode me – I was never on top. I notified Her whenever I approached orgasm and She stopped, but eventually She rode me to orgasm deep inside Her, not exactly giving me permission to cum, but causing me to do so Herself. Once I had cum She informed me I would get another ten strokes in exchange for cumming, for which I thanked Her.

- 0 -

The next morning my cock was hard again in bed and I asked Mistress for permission to touch and play with it which She gave. But as I started to play She pointed out that I had not said please, or thank you, or even called Her Mistress. For this, She said, I would get another 15.

- 0 -

My behaviour since my last canning has been good. Mistress has been canning me hard, and even thought She has granted me two orgasms in the last ten days or so I have been appropriately submissive most of the time, and so have avoided all bar the 35 strokes awarded described above.

As I write Mistress is out dropping the kids off at a friends house to play, and so there is a good chance She will return and give me the 35 I am due this afternoon. Ouch. My arse is still a little sore from the last lot…

- 0 -

This morning I was in the shower when Mistress spoke to me. We have a fairly noisy power shower and it is difficult to hear Her through the noise and I thought how irritating it was. If there was one thing I would change about my Mistress, I thought, it would be to get Her to stop talking to me from far away when there is so much background noise that I have no chance of hearing! It drives me nuts!

But this got me immediately thinking – who am I to wish change on Her? There must be many things I do that drive Her nuts and those things need working on.

As I dried myself of I put the idea to Her – suggesting that perhaps She should periodically set me goals to change things about me that She wanted to change to make me a better slave, submissive and husband. To improve the quality of Her life. If She did, I pointed out, She could punish me for failing to make any changes, and Her life would surely improve.

My cock rose as I sold Her the idea, which She immediately agreed to.

I suggested She could set these goals periodically, say once a week, or whenever She wanted, and She agreed to think about it.

I do not know whether She will in fact ever set me any goals, but I hope She does, and that in doing so She causes me to loose any habits that irritate Her.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Racking them up

On the evening of 11 August, the day Mistress last gave me strokes, She was extra dominant. I think applying all those canes to my arse had got Her juices flowing…

That night I earned another 10 for not calling Her Mistress when talking to Her, and for ‘arguing’ with Her (as she called it) about whether or not She had asked me to call the window cleaner. All I had done was say to Her that She had not asked me to call the window cleaner, when She recalled that She had.

These and another ten I received a few days ago. All bigger cutting strokes than Mistress has applied in the past.

Monday morning Mistress was kind enough to let me eat Her to orgasm before we got out of bed. I do love it when I get to send Her off on Her day with a morning orgasm.

It was nearly three weeks since I had last cum and my cock was big and hard. She had me kneel up over Her and wanked me. I alerted Her to my proximity to orgasm and before She let go I came over Her belly. She pumped me dry and then told me to lick Her clean which I did. She then informed me I would get ten strokes for being allowed to cum.

I don’t think Mistress has really decided to let me cum, but She does so enjoy watching and controlling my orgasms that She sometimes lets it happen.

The next day we were choosing chocolates out of a selection and Mistress tried to persuade me to eat dark chocolate, telling me I would like it. I do not like dark chocolate, and I cannot for the life of me understand why She should insist that I would like it. I do not like it. So to prove the point I took all 4 of the remaining dark chocolates out of the box and stuffed them in my mouth in front of Her. As I chewed them I confirmed that I was tasting them, and as expected and advised I actually did not like them. Did She now accept that I did not like them and knew I did not like them?

Mistress was not impressed with my behaviour. She told me this morning that I will get 20 for that little outburst. I am so grateful to Her for this, because I really should know better than to throw a petty strop for Her.

Coming only a day after Mistress allowed me to cum, and with me not having behaved so badly since Mistress last allowed me to cum, I am pretty sure that Mistress has connected the two and that She will be much less reluctant to permit orgasms in the future. And I have to say that I feel this is right. The fact of the matter is that though I should behave well all the time, I do in fact behave much better if I have not cum.

So as things stand I am currently due 40.

  • 10 for forgetting to take the mince out the freezer when told to

  • 10 for being allowed to cum

  • 20 for shovelling the chocolate
After my last strokes I felt that my arse did not experience enough pain. I have a larger golf shaft cut down to a cane than the one Mistress uses it, and I am contemplating offering it to Her so that my punishments hurt more and have greater effect on me, but I’m wondering whether to do this. She might see it as criticism of Her caning style and at the time they do actually hurt! I just think the pain should linger clearly for a day or two afterwards as well, to make sure the lesson rubs well in.

The kids are going to my mums for a sleep over tonight, so Mistress told me this morning I would get my canes before we go out for dinner with friends this evening, or tomorrow morning when we wake up – She will decide. I suspect it will be tomorrow, unless Mistress wants me in a humble mood for dinner this evening.

We are going out with Her friend Amanda and Mistress normally like me very submissive in her presence, so anything could happen, as She said.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

She did come back

Mistress did come back. Unannounced. I was applying teak oil to the garden furniture when I heard Her moving inside the house. It was a few minutes before She came out and instructed me to go upstairs and present myself for strokes.

I closed all the bedroom windows. Our neighbours are quite far away, but I didn’t want them to hear me screaming.

I begged Mistress for mercy, promising to be a good submissive whether She caned me or not, but She went ahead and caned me. She reviewed the list of offences and ticked them off as She applied the cane. I had to repeat after Her what each sentence was for, and count the strokes out as She applied them. Although at times it was too much for me to count and I just screamed and shouted.

But I was worried that if I didn’t count them, She might not count them, and then I’d end up getting more, so I tried really hard to count them.

Around mid point She drew blood (for the first time in the history of our caning). She paused and examined it, got a tissue and wiped it, and then carried on applying the cane – at least another 30 even after drawing blood. Again She got a tissue, wiped me and carried on, spreading Her strokes high and low to diffuse the impact. The high ones were a killer.
Mistress was merciful and did not give me the full 90 strokes I was due. I’m not sure how many in total She did give me – I think about 70 or so.

Afterwards I thanked Her as She told me to be careful not to earn any more – particularly in the holidays when they have to mount up in this way.

As we walked downstairs I begged for the opportunity to kiss her pussy to say thank you, but She declined, saying She would chose when I got to kiss Her pussy, not me.

As I kissed Her goodbye as She was leaving it got to Her and lamented, tugging off Her shorts and sitting back in the family room, permitting me to go down on Her. I gratefully did and a few minutes later She had a shattering orgasm before going back to pick up the kids.

I am grateful that She allowed me to show my gratitude in this way. It re-affirms Her right to punish me and enjoy pleasure, even while I suffer. My cock did not get hard as I prepared myself, received my strokes or ate Her pussy, which is right, because it’s not about me.


Mistress has just called from the supermarket to discuss shopping. She didn't say She was coming home to cane me, so I may be alright this morning....Fingers crossed....

Act of terror?

Mistress has left with the girls for the hairdresser and I have the house to myself.

I have tidied up the stationery cupboard, loaded and fired off the dishwasher and washing machine and sat down naked with a cup of tea. I am terrified that Mistress may come home soon to cane me. I must make sure I have an accurate up to date list of the punishments due to me as She will ask for this if She does come home, and will punish me more if She does not get it.

I wonder whether She has decided yet whether She will come or not? I suspect She has not decided. But what if She has decided that She actually is not going to come? And has merely told me She will to instil this fear in me? That would me an act of terror! She gets to cane me more than once – first in anticipation, many times, and then later in reality.

And the stupid thing is that if I think of it and my cock gets hard (and it did just twitch, but did not actually get hard) then I have text her about it, thus alerting and inviting Her follow through. Oh dear.

I have always wanted to be an ‘abused’ man. Living in terror of his husband beating Wife. I am so lucky to be in that position. Oh dear, my cock is hard. I must text Mistress and await the consequences. Oh shit.

Bad hair day

Mistress is taking the girls to the hair salon this morning. As we lay in bed drinking tea She said that if She could, She planned to drop them off and then come home to give me my strokes. I may be for it this morning. 80 or more. My cock is soft at the thought.
I better got an make Her Her porridge which She is waiting for in bed.

Friday, August 10, 2007

What's an angry sub to do?

Last night Mistress and I were working on plans for a garden party we are hosting at home next week. We’re expecting around 50 people so there’s a fair bit of thought needed to go into what we are going to do, how and when.

I was failing to understand quite a number of things She was saying. I hesitate to blame Her for being obscure – I am sure it is my fault for not getting my head round what She said quickly enough. But the conversation deteriorated and we ended up having a bit of an argument and blow up, with Her going off to bed leaving me up watching the telly.

At all times I did my best to be polite and not disrespectful. To remain as respectful as possible while differing with Her.

I was under the influence of a local anaesthetic from my dentist, and Mistress suggested that this might have been making me feel sorry for myself and argumentative. I don’t know. Could be.

We do not have many arguments like this. On those rare occasions that we have, they have always ended up with me being punished, and I fear that this difference yesterday has probably erased any chance I had of forgiveness for the 80 strokes I am currently due, and has probably earned me another 20 or so. Oh my god! 100+.

This morning Mistress has taken the kids across the road for a mums and kids swim party. They are literally across the road, and it occurred to me that She could easily choose to pop back home at any time through the day to give me the 80 I am due plus any others She may add for my behaviour last night.

So you can imagine my terror ten minutes ago when the door opened and Mistress walked into the house! My chickens were finally home to roost! But She had only come to pick up some margarine. (I am surprised She did not text and instruct me to bring it to Her). So She has picked up Her margarine and gone back across the road, leaving me in the house on my own.

The terror and fear I feel at this close call has made my cock hard. In accordance with standing instructions I have texted Mistress to advise Her of this:-

Hello Mistress. Your cock is big and hard with fear/relief, as Your slave thought You had come home to give Your slave the 80 Your slave is currently due plus any more You may have decided to award for bad behaviour last night. Your slave is terrified of You Mistress (which is obviously right) but still loves You dearly. xx

Of course I did not have to tell Mistress of this hard on, but that would be dishonest…

So what is an angry or frustrated submissive or slave to do? Since I am nothing or nobody, and Mistress is everything and everybody in our relationship, my moods are irrelevant and my anger wrong and deserving of punishment.

In ‘The Seventh Scroll’, the Wilbur Smith novel that’s in my favourites list, the slave Taita is often upset, disappointed or annoyed by his master. But his master is the pharaoh of all Egypt, and Taita a Eunuch slave. He cannot show anger, annoyance or disappointment, for to do so risks punishment or death itself.

I am lucky, my Mistress will not kill me! But She is free to punish me as She sees fit for any reason She sees as appropriate – or no reason at all….That this is right is obvious to me, and therefore I cannot harbour resentment or anger towards Her, because to do so is wrong.

I am sure, to my detriment, that I will be punished for it.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Sandwich anyone?

For the past eleven years Mistress has made me sandwiches for lunch every day. I have often said to Her that I find it innocuous and uncomfortable that She serves me in this way, but She has chosen to continue doing so. She has always believed that it is Her responsibility to ensure all of us are well fed. This belief appears so strong, that it has never occurred to Her that She can fulfil this responsibility by instructing me how to do it.

This morning She lamented that She had not yet made my sandwiches, and would have to come down and do them before She left for work. Again I pointed out to Her how odd, and wrong, it was for Her to serve me in this way. But She said She does not want me going out to buy cakes or going to eat at the club every day. So I pointed out that all She has to do is instruct me what to or not to do, and that would be the end of that. And, I pointed out, with it being Her decision to do this, She would have the added benefit of having exercised Her dominance over me by making that decision, a dominance that I would appreciate and think about every day for the rest of my life.

Mistress immediately seized on this idea and confirmed, with great pleasure, that She is not going to make me sandwiches ever again. Henceforth I must make sandwiches for myself every day, unless She gives me permission to do anything else.

I thanked Mistress for this. As I sit here hungry thinking of going to get my lunch, my cock is actually hard with pleasure at Her decision to further confirm Her dominance and superiority over me.

The reward of orgasm

On a slightly different note, Mistress made a comment today about “one day earning the reward of penetrating and cumming inside Her once again, as opposed to relieving myself in a cup and drinking it, which is all I deserve right now.”

Whilst I look forward with great anticipation to cumming inside Her again, I must share with you my concern that She will get me to cum in a cup before too long. It is not that I fear drinking my cum – I am used to, and even desire that if it is the price I must pay for the pleasure of cumming in Her company. No. What concerns me is the thought that She might permit me to cum at all. I am increasingly convinced that abstinence makes me a better submissive, and think my submission to Her is more important than an occasional orgasm for me, although, of course, I bow to Her superior judgement on this point as well as all else.

When do I suffer my punishment?

Mistress has not yet hinted at when She plans to give me the 80 or so strokes of the cane that I have earned in the last 4 weeks. Beyond asking Her about a week ago to please cut deep into me with each stroke, I have since decided not to remind Her or ask for them. Much as I look forward to the pleasure of suffering at Her will and hand, I do not look forward to the pain, and if by any change I am lucky enough to be behaving well enough for Her to decide to suspend, forget or just postpone that pain, then I should gladly accept that.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007


Our luggage finally caught up with us which is great - Mistress is very pleased.

She has had over 200 responses to Her advert for a fuckbuddy at Adult Friend Finder, and I have asked Her for guidanc on how to screen them - it takes ages! I may print them off for Her to mark 'Maybe', 'No Way' or 'Yes' and reply to people as instructed. We shall see.

It's funny how many guys reply to Her advert, in which She has put Her picture (well, I have on Her behalf) and yet they don't include a picture but want to be taken seriously...Oh dear...

Permission to play

When Mistress let me cum on 28 July, the 28 days wait since my previous orgasm had been the longest I had been without cumming. As a result I came so fast – almost as soon as I was in Her.

I can’t help but wonder how much of a coincidence, if any, it is that I was argumentative to Mistress only the very morning after She allowed me to cum. I can’t help but believe, as She does, that the two are linked and that cumming made/makes me less submissive. Ergo it is not a good thing for me. And if I cum that fast, then it can hardly be any good or much use to Mistress either….so it may be a while before I am permitted to do so again.

But in the meantime Mistress is very kind about allowing me to play with my hard cock in front of Her and rub it against Her in bed. While She hardly ever touches it herself, She does give me permission to do when lying next to, or looking down on Her in bed, or while watching Her get naked and ready for bed.

Some times it is fun to hold my own cock and marvel at it. But the pleasure in increased many times by being allowed to do in front of, in full view of, and with the permission of such a sexy chick.

That the act of my self gratification gives Mistress no joy per-se is obvious. I am only allowed to touch myself with her explicit permission to do so, and Her generosity in allowing it almost every day is, in my view, extreme and I am lucky for it.

A few years ago we explored with The Curve male chastity device, and for a while Mistress controlled my hard ons – I could not get hard or touch myself without Her first unlocking the device.

This was a great period of time for our relationship, and Mistress loved the control, but then after some months we found that I could pull out of the Curve so easily that it was actually pointless having it…and so we reluctantly and sadly put it to one side.

The only option for secure male chastity is the ‘whole metal pant’ approach, or a device that require a penis piercing. The ‘whole metal pant’ seems far too impractical (totally apart from being a $600 experiment that probably won’t work) and so we do not even consider that option.
But Mistress and I have discussed the piercing, although She is reluctant to permit me to despoil the cock She so kindly likes, and so I think that option is unlikely to ever arise.

In the meantime I am lucky enough to be able to get hard, and to have brief, if unfulfilling, play with myself once or twice a day in Mistress’ presence. Am I the lucky on or what?

Monday, August 06, 2007

Lost Luggage

Well, we’re back after a very pleasant two weeks swimming, drinking eating and of course serving. The return journey would have been better if the airline had not lost ALL our luggage, but fingers crossed, we hope to get it back…

While we were away I seem to have racked up an enormous amount of punishment – but it is not that I have been negligent – rather, I think Mistress is relishing Her position of authority and insisting on higher standards. This is of course a good thing, but how is my arse to survive?

As of Saturday night when we got back I was due 70 strokes! Since then Mistress has only yesterday awarded me 5 more for not flushing the toilet properly (I am not sure whether this was in fact me or one of the kids, but I am being punished for it!) and a further 5 for telling her that I was going to play golf today when She was out, instead of using the word ‘please’ and asking for permission.

I was not aware I was to ask for permission, especially if She was out at the time, but apparently I am, and now I know.

So I face the prospect of 80! I have never had more than 35 and cannot imagine anything other than tears and a bloody arse. But I remain sooo grateful that Mistress has chosen to impose Herself on me in this way. My cock is hard with fear in anticipation.

While I've been away...

While I've been away I made a couple of blog entries that I could not get up here using my PDA - sorry for that, and the catch up is now made as follows...
Sunday 29 July. Clocking up

Posted from my PDA (the O2 XDA)
By the time we left to come on holiday I had earned 15 for not printing the party invite in time, 10 for not letting Mistress know where I was when I'd left the house. There was talk of another 10 for insubordination one night but I don't think Mistress remembers these - I could probably get away with 'forgetting' them.
We ended up packing all day on the day we were supposed to pack, so Mistress did not give me any that day and all are still due.
While we've been here I've earned 10 more for not making porridge well enough. I think there may have been reference to another 10 for I-don't-know-what, but since I can't even remember those I'll leave them off my list.
So as I look forward I articipate 25 on my next session. Plus any I earn before that.
Wednesday August 1st. My last orgasm?

A couple of days ago my cock was huge, rock hard through the day.
Proximity tipped the scales for Mistress who, while the kids were both in the pool called me into the kitchen, bent Herself over the sink and told me to stick it in! What a sight! What a prospect!
Within seconds I had cum - a great let down for Her I am sure, but all that beauty 29 days after my last orgasm was too much.
Next day we had rather a big argument. I spoke to Mistress about this this morning and She links the two, and speculates that She may never allow me to cum again.I think I may have rather messed things up on that front for a while. And Mistress has promised me 20 strokes for my outburst. She says I will get all that is due to me, hard, at the next opportunity and She is looking forward to giving me so many - 45 and counting ...
Friday August 3. White wash

We decided today to make full use of the local weather - wash & dry our clothes before packing.
Mistress suggested I might do a handwash as well, but I said we didn't come all this way to handwash clothes, and they can wait until we get home. Apparently Mistress thought otherwise because She then did the handwash. My cock got hard at the thought that one day She would stop me and tell me I travel wherever to do whatever She says.
I reported my hardon and Mistress agreed, awarding me 20 strokes for not offering to do the handwash. I tried to appeal on the basis that it was I that brought this to Mistress' attention, but Mistress ruled She would have none of it. I am to get the 20 and no more discussion.
Mistress said that if when questioned I omit any strokes due to me She will multiply the missing strokes by 5 and added.I do not look forward to 65+
Saturday August 4th. Her touch

This morning in bed my cock was big and hard. Mistress was kind enough to let me gaze on Her sexy body and wank - although of course I was not allowed to cum.
As I wanked I begged Her to whip me hard enough to cut me with each of the 65 strokes I am now due.
I asked if She would please be kind enough to just touch my cock with Her hand. She kindly agreed to do so in exchange for a further 5 strokes as payment which I gladly accepted. It was heavenly to feel Her fingers on me, even so briefly.