Saturday, February 20, 2010

More on: Why this Alpha male stuff

Last night we had ‘a lot’ of sex (by our/my standards).

As Mistress got into bed She lay on Her side and raised one leg, telling me to play with Her pussy, which I gladly did. She was wet, and asked what I was thinking.

I replied that I was thinking how much I wanted to do to Her sexually, but how I could not take the initiative, and that I only got hard and ready engaging with Her sexually when doing what She told me to do.

I told Her how I felt this was felt pathetic, and that if I was David I would be doing all sorts of things to Her, not only things She told me to do. But I said but that I was happy being pathetic, provided that She was happy with me being like that.

She said She was happy with me being like that, and wanted me like that, but that She also wanted more, and that’s why She wants other guys as well – like David. Because She wants me to do as I am told and only as I am told, but She also wants Alpha male sex.

She also pointed out, as She has told me before, that David thinks I am the lucky one to be Her submissive, and that he would give anything to trade places with me: Hence his jealousy of me and issues about seeing Her – because he wants what I’ve got.

She told me to go get Her porn (She has some print outs from Literotica.com in Her cupboard) and I got them and handed them to Her. She told me to go down and eat Her, and started to read.

I gladly lapped at Her pussy while She read. She was soaking, which made me feel appreciated at least.

As I ate, I wondered why I was constantly giving oral sex and not ‘getting’ more. I asked: ‘Please can I put it in you. Then I’ll come back and eat You more?’. ‘OK’ She said, and I rose up and penetrated Her missionary style. It felt great.

As I did, I told Her how good this felt, and that I’d not fucked Her in this position this year! It was great.

Soon I was on the edge and pulled out of Her to eat Her again.

She soon told me to come back up and fuck Her again, which I did, getting to the edge quickly. She told me I could cum, but that I’d have to go and eat Her clean after.

I groaned and came deep inside, soon going down to lick Her clean and bring Her to a shuddering, wet orgasm.

After She came She said She was feeling greedy, and She reached for Her butterfly vibrator, spread Her legs and brought Herself off again while I watched.

At Her instruction I put the porn back and We cuddled and slept.

It occurred to me when I woke up this morning that we had ‘sex’ for all that time. I fingered Her, ate Her, fucked Her, licked Her clean, brought Her to orgasm with my mouth, passed Her porn and watched Her wank with a vibrator. But not once did She touch my cock with Her hand or Her lips. Not to give me pleasure, nor to guide it in Her. Only I engaged with my cock.

Pathetic.

But throughout that process, the only time I was really hard and really happy was when I was doing what She had told me to do. The second fuck was much better than the first. The first was stolen because I asked for it. The second was hot, because She did.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Why does She do it?

Life has been hectic – so busy with work! I’ve been hoping to blog every day and never managed to fit it in.

‘m’ posed a fascinating question that I think of many times every day: Why does She do it?

I don’t know. But I have my theories…

Last Saturday David never made contact! We sat watching the telly in each others arms, her iPhone next to Her, waiting for contact, and it never came! We proceeded gladly to bed.

Tuesday he sends her a text – sorry, he was with his girlfriend all evening, and couldn’t get away. Oh yeah.

Mistress says She doesn’t believe him.

I said either he got pissed and simply never got round to contacting Her, or he found someone else to shag and went off to shag them.

She said that he’s ‘got issues’. He wants Her so badly that he doesn’t want to see Her, because if he does, then he’ll want Her for his own, and he can’t have Her for his own.

Hmm. She might be right. One of us is right and the other wrong. But I don’t push it with Her. I was interested, though, that She doesn’t believe he was with his other half all night Saturday.

So, you’d think that that was the last straw, that She won’t see him again? But no! She decides to text him to suggest they get together for coffee and chat – She wants to talk to him about why he’s so unreliable, and try and get their relationship on a more stable footing.

So there’s a question: Why does she do that?

She wasn’t too disappointed that he was a no show last weekend – in fact, She really wasn’t disappointed at all – or if She was, She hid it from me very well. We’d been out on Friday night very late and had a great time, so Saturday made sense to spend a quiet night in – but if he’d called Her, she’d have gladly gone to him!

On Sunday night as we made love, She whispered in my ear: I wish I’d fucked David on Saturday. It would make it so much better fucking you now. I agree with Her, saying that if She had, then when I was licking Her arse in the morning I’d be able to feel how he’d loosened it with his cock – which I do feel!

Tuesday morning I didn’t offer to lick Her arse while we lay in bed, but She told me to go down and do so. Very unusual.

Wednesday morning when I offered to lick Her arse She told me instead to lick Her pussy clean. It had spoof on it from where we had fucked the night before – so I went down and licked Her clean. She’s never asked me to do that before.

Wednesday she wore a dress to work (She usually wears trousers). Whenever She wears a dress Dave, that the guy in Her office that wants to fuck Her, always compliments Her on it… So I’m wondering….But that night She says nothing…

Then today, when She leaves for work looking real hot, I say to Her the guys are going to love Her arse in those leggings, and She says that Dave may well like it – and that he had said to Her on Wednesday how he loved Her dress….

So they guy says that to Her Wednesday, and She doesn’t mention it to me until Friday. What’s that about?

So, I don’t understand why She does it. I think that the sex with me is so vanilla – we just fuck in the spoon position. David fucks Her for hours in every manner conceivable. I think that’s what She likes – She likes the chase, and a good fuck – and I don’t provide either…

I do want to do more. I just can’t! I want to try to though….

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Waiting

She's waiting for him to make contact. She's a little excited, wondering whether She'll go out with him, or just fuck him if/when he comes here.

She's making us dinner now, while She waits.

Contact

David's just been in touch. He's in town tonight and he and Mistress are going to meet up. They've yet to confirm plans, but either he'll come here 'after' for a shag, or She'll go into town and meet him.

It's been a while since they met up.

This is the first time, in a year 'together' that he's actually made contact the day before to actually set something up. Every other time She's had a sudden text from him when he's out.

A couple of days ago he forwarded Her a text joke. That was the first time he's ever just made contact with her, without a view to meeting up.

I guess the man's feeling horny. Well, looks like he's going to get some tonight...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Another man’s orgasm!

Mistress has began flirting with one of Her exes in recent weeks. They’ve been having email and text sex.

Fortunately for me, the guy lives 5,000 miles away, so there is no immediate prospect of her fucking him.

This culminated today in him asking Her to ring him so he could wank while She talked dirty to him. She was at work, so unable to do this, but sent him dirty texts while he wanked himself off.

And this is a married man!

It’s a while since She’s fucked another guy, but at this rate its not going to be long before She does. She seems to be hooked on it.

David texted Her yesterday as well, but it’s not resulting in a planned meeting (yet).

Sexual appetite


I worry about my sexual appetite.

Today, for example, I did not wake up hard or horny, and I don't feel horny now. All just because I came yesterday morning! That was ages ago!

I don't want to cum as much as I used to, and when I do shag, I don't go for the variety or duration I used to.

I used to encourage Her to see other men to dominate me, and because I felt submissive.

Now I feel inadequate too.

Milking

Once the kids were put to bed I reminded Mistress that I had earned a punishment and asked if She would like me to present myself at that time. This was difficult to do – I am required to remind Her. If I don’t, I can be punished for not doing so.

She said to present myself later when we went up to bed.

It was 12:30 before we went up to our room, and I thought this might be a bit late, but on asking She told me to present myself and I did. ‘It don’t want to delay, and leave it hanging over us’ She said, ‘Let’s get it over and done with’. So I presented myself.

‘Discipline is 15 strokes’, She said, ‘So punishment must be 20’, and She laid into me.

I felt my arse bruising as the strokes cut in. More and more as they piled on. I begged quietly for mercy. The second ten were not as bad as the first ten. But let’s just say that I won’t be resting before asking if I can help in any way.

As we slept I offered to eat Her pussy and She accepted, resulting in another shuddering orgasm for Her.

Next morning She actually told me to go down and lick Her arse, which I gladly did diligently. When She’d had enough I came up hard, and asked if I could play with my dick a little. She took over and wanked me Herself. Clearly intent on bringing me to orgasm.

As She wanked me I had this feeling I was being milked – made to cum because She felt due to make me cum – not because I wanted it, or She wanted to do it. Somewhat clinical rather than lustful.

It was another humiliating experience as I spurted. I was more grateful for the humiliation than the orgasm.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Waiting

It's only an hour to go now before I present myself for punishment and find out what She has in mind. A real thrashing, or a more normal caning.

Either way it will hurt.

Wet?


She was being very bossy at lunch time - ordering me to go and get Her yogurt, and watching me tidy up.

Is She wet at the thought of punishing me tonight? Has She decided how hard to hit me? Will She try to land the cane across my arse with all Her might? Will She try and make me cry? Or will She have mercy on me?

Justice


All week I have gone out of my way to proactively obey the rules – no arguing, helping, offering and generally being a ‘good’ submissive.

I was thinking that Mistress must have noticed, and must be thinking that the little caning She gave me last week has made so much difference. I felt I had been so good that She probably wouldn’t want to cane me again last night.

But, not wanting to attract punishment for not offering, once I was ready for bed I asked if She would like to cane me, and to my surprise She said yes.

I did not question Her – that could lead to extras – and instead got my cuffs and prepared myself, my cock soft with fear at what was to come.

As I got ready She started to lecture me.

In fact, I had earned punishment. I had come downstairs in the afternoon and sat and watched the telly while she did chores – I had not offered any help, just say and relaxed. I should have offered, and because I did not I would be punished.

My cock betrayed me, and started to get hard and She told me off.

I cursed myself for a fool – why had I not offered! Anyway, at least She was going to punish me for it, and so I would learn and not do the same again.

She gave me my 15 disciplinary strokes and got into bed, while I put the whip and cuffs away.

I will get the punishment strokes today (Monday) because She has, very wisely in my opinion, chosen not to mix the two. That way both messages are clear, I guess.

In bed I offered to eat Her pussy. I wanted to feel f the caning had made Her wet. And I wanted to build, if possible, the association between caning me and sexual pleasure for Her alongside my submission.

She thought about it and agreed I could eat Her. So I brought Her to long orgasm after much licking, and then we slept.

Tonight I am for it. She said punishment strokes would be harder than discipline ones. I wonder how hard they will be? My goodness. This could be bad. My cock is rock hard with fear.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Boob Job


This morning Mistress declined my offer to lick ‘anything’ She’d like, and asked me to just cuddle Her, which I gladly did, my hard-on throbbing into Her lovely arse as we spooned, and Her lovely soft breasts cupped in my hands.

Before I finally got out of bed I asked ‘Please can I suck your tits’ to which She agreed and I got to lick, suck and stimulate them before getting out of bed.

She denied me permission to play with myself as well before I got up.

Tomorrow morning She is away to London for an overnight course. Usually – invariably – She shags me before She leave the house for 24 hours. I’ll be surprised if today is any different.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Slightly ashamed arse licker

This morning I wished, as I do most mornings, to confirm my subservience to Mistress, so I offered to lick Her arse before waking, and She accepted.

I used a slightly different approach, and used long, drawing licks of my tongue to lick all around Her arse hole, before penetrating and rimming Her. As usual, She loved it.

My cock got hard while I licked, and I asked permission for a play after (She said I must ask permission before I play with my cock). She granted the permission, but then took over, wanking me Herself.

She chose not to make me cum before sending me down to make tea.

It is so humiliating that I lick Her arse to keep it clean, ready and in the knowledge that David will fuck it the very next time he chooses to.

Of course, to counter the shame is the privilege I enjoy in being allowed to lick Her arse every morning, a job I am sure David would love to do.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Alpha Male


I work from home and have the house to myself all day, so I have porn rotating on my Desktop image all day. Occasionally this girl comes up, loving it in her mouth and her arse, and I dream about how lucky the guy is who gets to fuck her there.

One interesting thing following my disciplinary caning last night, is that I do not feel at all tempted to breach the Alpha male rule – I might want a blow job and anal sex, but there is no way I’m going to ask for either and invite more of that down on me.

Resolve


As we got ready for bed, past midnight, I was feeling that given the time of day (or night, actually) Mistress was not likely to want to cane me.

But after I did my teeth She told me to present myself for my 15 Discipline strokes.

Before She raised the cane She said that Punishment strokes would always be harder than discipline ones, and She struck.

The first 8 were killers. All from the same side. Then She walked round the bed and delivered another 7. Plus one for luck.

As instructed, I lay silent, apart from very heavy breathing. I didn’t want to attract any more of those fiery little suckers.

The second 7 were nowhere nearly as hard as the first 8. But they all hurt, and this morning my arse is cut and painful.

I am resolved. I will act to ensure that I never give Her any exclude to punish me. Because if She meant to cause maximum pain then those fuckers would hurt.

After I had put away the ropes and cane, as we lay in bed, I asked if She would like an orgasm before falling asleep. She said She would, but that I would not get one, and I went down and licked and fingered Her to glorious orgasm before we slept.

I was glad that She got to associate the discipline session with the subsequent orgasm.

This morning I offered to lick Her arse which She accepted – it has been a sexually pleasant 12 hours for Her. My cock is hard.