Tuesday, March 29, 2011

French Kiss


I loved this story so much that I sent it on to Mistress who read it while having Her hair done.

She loved it to – so much so that She emailed me back about it – She pointed out that the story is so like us, and boyfriend is even called David! A point I had missed!

She spoke about it last night after I had eaten Her to orgasm and was putting my cock into Her.

She told me that She particularly liked that the husband was not allowed to kiss his wife on the lips. She said that her Dave was a better kisser than me, and that only he should be allowed to kiss Her properly and put his tongue in Her mouth – I should limit myself to a peck on the cheek.

I enjoy kissing Her ‘properly’ some times, so it will be interesting to see how this develops. Clearly She will not be initiating any french kisses with me, but how will She respond if and when I try to kiss Her? Will I try to kiss Her like that again, knowing that She does not want me to? Probably not.

What do you think? Should I try to French kiss Her? Please take the poll...

Monday, March 28, 2011

Intimacy


Here’s a good example of Mistress’ intimacy with Dave (‘Kamwani’ is the nick name we use for him).

He sends Her a BBM saying how good She looks, and She sends this back.

This sort of conversation does not take place with a casual fuck.

This is a far more intimate exchange.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

No confusion

This morning Mistress ordered me down to lick Her arse before we got out of bed.

I started with a gentle penetration, gradually getting deeper, before licking around and tongue fucking Her as deeply as I could for about ten minutes.

As I did, I thought of how Dave inserts his fingers in to Her arse (which I am not allowed to do) and how he talks about (although he has not yet done so) fucking Her arse.

When She went out with David, he never once fucked Her without using all 3 holes.

I licked as I thought these thoughts – glad of the opportunity to tongue fuck Her, but wondering at the splendour of fucking Her arse properly.

When She had had enough She order me up and told me to wank myself. As I did She said to me “I am looking forward to meeting my boyfriend later today for our date. I will suck his cock and he will cum in my mouth, but I am not even going to wank your cock – you’ve got to wank it yourself.”

“ That’s not confusing is it?” She asked. “I suck his real man cock, and you wank your own wimp cock. There’s no confusion there is there?”.

I grunted as I quickly came all over myself and was ordered out of bed to make the tea.

She’s with him now – they’ve just met up to ‘play’.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Weekend kink

I was surfing round the cuckold stories on Literotica, as I often do, when I found this new author and read this great story.

God! My cock got so hard at the thought!

As usual, I told Mistress about the extreme kink I had been reading – She never reads the stories, but makes me tell Her exactly what it is that I read that turned me on! God, the humiliation of telling Her how turned on I become at these women who cuckold their men to firmly is more than I can bear! And it turns Her on so much too!

She made me tell Her while we were in bed, before sending me down to eat Her pussy. God it was so kinky.

I love the fantasy of openly coming sexually second to Her boyfriend. Not sure how I’d deal with the reality though!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Resolution

Thank you for your feedback and forbearance while Mistress and I deal with our issues. We have discussed them and agreed a way forward. I will drip the details through over time - I am so busy with work and chasing a buck.

Mistress’ desire is to live a FemDom life where I am in service to and submissive to Her. She is not doing this for me. She is going it for Herself and for us – it is Her preferred form of relationship with me.

Mistress does not think sucking my cock is a suitable act for a Dominant to do to Her submissive, and so She does not intent to ever suck my cock again. That is why She has Dave, because he is an alpha male who can dominate Her and who’s cock She can enjoy sucking.

If I ever talk about Her sucking my cock again I will be punished for doing so.

Yesterday Mistress told me to wash Her crotchless tights and have them dry ready for this morning. I questioned the need for this since they are crotchless and so cannot be dirty.

As a result I am to be punished with 10 strokes of the cane. In future I am to obey Her instructions without question.

Mistress will continue to cuckold me because (a) She enjoys it, and (b) She enjoys the way it humiliates and dominates me.

My cuckold cock is hard.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Re: Confusion

Yes, You have said that a number of times. Thank You.

But saying it once or twice, and then not sucking my cock, and sucking his at every opportunity, and loving doing it, and never reinforcing that you are my Dom, that I am Your sub and what You expect of me, leaves me confused.

I don’t think You can say it often enough, or clearly enough.

If, for example, it gave You pleasure to dominate and humiliate me by asking me if I want You to suck my cock, and punishing me if I said yes, then I would see where I fitted in as Your submissive.

But You do not in fact enjoy doing this, and that’s why I suggested using the review form – to help reinforce my sexual humility to both of us.

If I don’t understand that You want to be my Dom then all I understand is that his cock gets sucked and mine does not 

For example, if you clarified this confusion by saying that you will NEVER suck my cock again, and caned me thoroughly for even talking about it, then I would know where I stand.

I fear that I and my fantasies are too extreme – which you have also said before…

It’s not about You…

It occurs to me from my letter below that I am being very critical of you.

This is obviously very one sided.

It is not my intention to be critical of You. The fault is quite probably all mine – perhaps I am not actually cut out to accept another man in Your life, and no matter what You do, I will never truly accept it.

Her reply

I have read your email. A lot to respond to will have to wait. But if I may just one. I think part of the problem is that you forget what we discuss and so we keep going round in circles every time.

For eg, in regards to the cock sucking. I have explicitly told u many times that the reason I don't do it is because I do not consider it a Dom thing to do it to my submissive and therefore I wont! Where is the confusion and complication with that? How much clearer can I be?

Gotta get to work now. Talk later xx

Confusion

When You came back from Your date and told me he had cum in Your mouth I was jealous. He always gets to cum in Your mouth, and You never even put my cock in Your mouth.

As Your submissive I do not expect to be allowed to put my cock in Your mouth – in fact, as You know, I think I should be punished for even thinking such a dominant thought.

But I don’t actually know what You think about the matter. Why don’t You want to put my cock in Your mouth, when You can’t get enough of his – every time You meet.

Perhaps You do want to put my cock in Your mouth – in which case – if there is any chance of that – then please do so, because I would love it.

But You never talk to me about it – You never tell me why You suck his cock so much and never suck mine, so I don’t know. Because I don’t know, I think maybe You do want to suck my cock, but You just don’t do it because You think I want to live as your submissive.

But that’s not the case. If You want to such my cock then I want You to.

If You told me in a loving, dominant, humiliating way that You loved sucking his cock, and that You would never suck mine, then I would know where I stand. But You don’t do this.

If You told me that You loved humiliating me and dominating me by sucking his cock and then telling me all about it, then I would know where I stand, but You don’t do this.

You do sometimes say that You don’t want to suck my cock, but You never say why, and You don’t say it very often, and so I feel confused.

We always agreed that You would find other men to give You the alpha male sex that I no longer provided – but I get the feeling that You are in denial over that – and You don’t want to remind me that I am not a proper alpha male.

You do say that You love having me as Your submissive, but You don’t say it very often – You don’t remind me that I am Your submissive – and so I get confused.

You do say You like having me as a submissive, and You like humiliating me, but You very rarely dominate me or humiliate me (directly – you do it indirectly – eg by telling me he came in Your mouth – but you very rarely do it directly) and so I wonder whether You really feel this way, or whether our FemDom relationship is a convenience that You humour to make me/us happy.

I don’t feel that you pursue the FemDom relationship.

That’s why I suggested the review form – to give us both an opportunity to constantly or regularly remind ourselves of our FemDom relationship.

You said You liked the idea, and told me to draw up the form, and I did so. But You did not make any suggestions of what You want to see on the form – all the ideas on it are mine, so I am still left very confused about what You actually want.

You do want some things – for example, You wanted me to go down and check for Your tights the other day – so You can’t say You don’t want anything – You do want things of me – but You won’t say what they are, so I get confused.

If you would only say ‘You should have gone down to get my tights and You didn’t so I am going to punish you for it’, and then actually punish me for it, then we’d both know exactly where we stand.

It’s not that I want You to punish me – not at all – but I want You to dominate me 100% make me submit to Your will so that we are both clear where we stand.

Kissing in the pub

When I see couples kissing in the pub (and I have seen a few recently – not just the couple yesterday) I see them ravishing each other, and I imagine You doing that with Dave, and I get jealous.

When I talked to You about it, You tried to circumvent it. I believe this is because You are embarrassed about it and reluctant to admit (to yourself as much as me) how much You enjoy ravishing him in that way.

So when I see You in denial in this way, I get confused. Why are You in denial? If You think it is wrong to ravish him and not me, then why do You do it?

If You said to me ‘I love ravishing him like that, it makes my cunt wet just thinking about it’, then I would know where I stand, but You don’t do this – instead You deny it by tryign to talk round it.

If You said You don’t do that with me because I am Your submissive, not Your man, then I would be clear.

Leading on our relationship

I don’t want to be the one making suggestions about our FemDom relationship – I don’t see how that can work. Our relationship should be defined by You, not by me.

That’s why I chose not to have this conversation with You – because if You want to suck his cock and not mine, then that’s Your choice. If You want to kiss and cuddle him in the pub and not me, then that’s Your choice too. If you don’t want to dominate and humiliate me, then that is certainly Your choice too.

Leaving me out

But when You make all those choices – choosing to kiss him and not me, to suck him and not me, and to not dominate or humiliate me, as You have done, where does that leave me?

It leaves me as the one that is not kissed, not given blow jobs, not dominated, not humiliated. Apparently loved – because I believe You love me – but how and in what capacity, I don’t know or understand.

Licking Your arse

If I didn’t have a sore lip, then I could offer to lick Your arse every morning – at least when You allow me to do that I do that I feel that You are dominating me – even if only by allowing me to humiliate myself. But as You know, for a few days I have not even been able to do that.

If You don’t want to dominate me then I wish You’d just say so, so that we could be clear. I’d be happy to put all the FemDom stuff behind us and live a normal life if that’s what You want. I’d love to cuddle and kiss You in the pub and cum in Your mouth. But how do I know what You want?

It always seems to be me ‘demanding’ FemDom of You, and I’m not comfortable with that.

BBM and information access

When I told You about my fantasy of not being allowed access to Your BBM, and not being allowed to ask about Your dates, it was not that I don’t like these things.

I love the humiliation and excitement of hearing about Your dates and reading Your BBM. So it’s not that that excited me – it’s the thought of You choosing to do that to me – choosing to dominate me by choosing to shut me out in that way.

I don’t know how we resolve this. I genuinely don’t think You want the FemDom relationship I do – that’s why when things get this way I say: Let’s end the FemDom and th cuckolding and just live a normal life together – at least then I will have You – and that’s what I want more than anything, I won’t be jealous and I won’t be confused.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

More oral sex

Mistress and Dave had another date today. They left work early and drove to a discrete pub for a couple of drinks. There was some touching and kissing in the pub, and after an hour of chat he suggested they move out to his car to ‘play’.

They did so and he played with Her cunt before She went down on him and sucked him to orgasm. He came in Her mouth and She swallowed half and gave him half back (! That’s what they do!).

When She came home She told me about it and gave ma a big, spunk tasting kiss as may part of the pleasure.

He has come in Her mouth more times than I can count, and I’ve not had so much as a lick in 2011. She’s getting it from him, why would She want it from me as well?

Monday, March 07, 2011

School run

08:40 and Mistress has just dropped the kids at School. She walks back to Her car, reaches for Her handbag and sends Dave a text. Every day. Without fail.

Friday, March 04, 2011

Gagging


When Mistress was on Her last date with Dave they got a late train back from London. When they got to our station at about 11 at night, they went off to a dark corner of the car park to do what they call ‘playing’.

She had no knickers on – he had told Her to remove them much earlier in the day. He lifted Her dress to above Her tits and played with Her, including pushing his finger up Her arse – an area I am not allowed.

Then he pushed Her to Her knees, held Her head and fucked Her mouth and throat. As he fucked Her She gagged, but he help Her head tight and carried on fucking Her mouth until he came. She told me it turned Her on so much that he just kept going.

Yesterday She sent him a text fantasy (over 2 hour period of intense BBM sex they had yesterday) – ‘You are holding my head, fucking my mouth, making me gag, but ignoring me and just carrying on fucking. I love it’.

I read this on my arrival home in the evening, and became slightly jealous, but I didn’t say anything to Her. But this morning, as She got me to fuck Her She told me She had noticed, and told me that She would cane me for it on Sunday.

‘You should not get jealous of what I say to him. He is my alpha male and I love it when I encourage him and he does those things to me. You are my wimp submissive. You don’t do those things to me, and so there is no reason for you to be jealous!’

Needless to say I came deep inside Her as She told me these terrible things.

She also told me to complete the preparation of my review form by Sunday evening, or be punished for that too.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Simply sex

Last night as I lay in bed waiting for Mistress to join me, my cock, as usual, got hard.

I was thinking how nice it would be like ‘in the old days’ for Her to kneel naked between my open legs and play with my cock, sucking it, and making me cum, either wanking me, or better still make me cum in Her mouth.

I knew it wouldn’t happen – She is very clear that She does not want to do that sort of thing with me – though goodness knows She does it to Dave enough.

If She would only put it in Her mouth, I thought, but She has not done that this year, even though I eat Her pussy and/or Her arse every other day.

My cock got even harder ( I call it the cuckold hard on) at the thought of Her doing these things with Dave.

Mistress got into bed and cuddled up to me, feeling my hard on.

She pushed her lovely, naked arse back into my cock and said ‘You better just put it in me. I haven’t got the energy for anything else’.

I fingered Her a little and then fucked Her. Straight forward sex. I didn’t have to eat Her pussy, no kinky talk, just fucking. That’s all we did – just fuck – nothing kinky. But it was brilliant. I came in Her so hard – still thinking of Her and Dave, and She too moaned with Her pleasure.

It was great. And the simplest sex we’ve had for ages.

What a lovely warm, tight cunt She has.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

More information than I need

Mistress just texted me to say that She was going for coffee with Dave at the end of the working day, via the lift (for a snog) if possible on the way down.

I feel this is more information than I need, or than is good for me.

Since their last tryst, Mistress has taken to telling me all about their conversations during the day – before I get to read Her BBM in the evening.

For example on Monday when I was on the golf course, She texted me to tell me that She was putting the laundry away while lying to him that She was wanking.

Why does She tell me these things? I think so that I am not shocked, surprised or disappointed when I do get to read them later in Her BB.

But I still find it stressful to read Her texts to him ‘God you make my cunt so so so wet’, or ‘I wish we were playing in the pub’, or now – that they are going for a snog and coffee this evening. Surely I’m better off not knowing – then I can’t get hurt by it.

She’d say that its supposed to be fun, and that I’m supposed to enjoy it – but I read Her crack every day, and I do so never to enjoy it, but to see what they have said – to check if there is anything I should be jealous of.

In many ways I would prefer it if we both accepted that I am the submissive cuckold and not entitled to participate in any way in Her sexual or personal relationships which are purely for Her pleasure due to my sexual inadequacy.

Sex

After our performance review conversation Mistress was particularly turned on. That night She sent me down to eat Her pussy, and soon got me back up. Reaching for Her vibrator She told me to describe to Her how the performance review system should work.

She told me to prepare a proper review form to be used in the process, wanking Herself furiously while She did so. I asked if it turned Her on, and She said it did – the idea of having all that control, and getting what She wants. She came hugely, and then told me to fuck Her which I gladly did.