2008 - "Your Way"

Mistress and I had chat about our relationship as the new year approached. The long and the short of it was She felt I had expectations of Her in my FemDom fantasies that She was not comfortable with. She said She felt I had ‘read too much’ and developed an expectation of ‘how it should be’.

I asked Her how She wanted to live, what She wanted to do – She said She wanted things to work her way.

I explained to Her that in fact I did not read any FemDom literature, because other people’s fantasies did not interest me much – I was more concerned with us being happy.

I said I had no expectations at all, and that She should not worry about this, but lead as She chose.

We agreed to think about it.

After a day or two’s thought the idea came to me, and I suggested to Her that our motto for 2008 should be ‘2008 - Your Way’ where we would do everything Her Way, whatever that was, not ‘my way. She was delighted with this idea, and so we agreed, for Her the motto was ‘My Way’. For me, the motto is ‘Her Way’.

Since then I have consciously withdrawn all submissive behaviour from the old style, and started to live a vanilla life, waiting for Her lead to guide me in Her Way.

This year I have even initiated sex once, leading to penetration and orgasm. She expressed shock that I had cum without permission, but I said nothing, allowing Her to lead Her Way – and She chose to drop it.

She has since allowed me to cum in Her after She initiated sex, but on that occasion I did ask if She wanted me to cum in Her.

She has not caned me this year – I have certainly not encouraged Her to, and neither will I.
At times I get the impression She wants a vanilla life. But last night after we had eaten I was watching the news after a busy day, and She was reading Her magazine, She asked/instructed me to go and make Her tea, which I gladly did. (Of course in the old days I would have offered to make Her tea every day at this time or been punished for it).

Then this morning my cock was hard and I pushed against Her and massaged Her tits, when She told me to sleep – meaning ‘leave off the sex’, which I immediately did.

My cock has not been getting as hard this year. The absence of a clear FemDom structure has impeded my libido considerably.

I find it quite confusing at times. There are times I have thought that if She asks me to present myself for the cane then I shall refuse, as we do not live a FemDom life any more, so why should I suffer the cane? But then there are times that I of course miss it, and would be very excited at the idea of Her caning me ‘Her Way’.

My concern would be that She canes me because She thinks She is doing me a favour. That I would not like, as the cane hurts and it does me no favours at all if that pane is not for Her glory.
Interesting new year.

I think it’s just a matter of time before She does cane me, and that will be an interesting turning point. In the meantime I live vanilla and await Her guidance on Her Way.