What is time for?

I sent that email (below) to Mistress this morning – I had tried to talk to Her about it but neither of us could find the time.

She’s been very busy – late nights and early mornings at work, including today. So She texted me at mid day to say She’s been really busy all day (read too busy to read and deal with my email).

She’s just called me now on Her way out the office - to go and meet Dave for a 45 minute glass of wine. She’s still not had time to read my email.

What do you make of that?

She won’t tell me to my face that I come second in some of these things – in fact to my face She’ll strenuously and convincingly deny that that is the case – but Her actions speak much louder than words/

For You not us (An open letter to Mistress)

My Darling Mistress Wife

I read Your BlackBerry Messenger last night after You went to bed because I was jealous about what he was saying to You at that time of night.

This morning I told You I read it because the BBM is ‘for us’, but I don’t think that it actually is for us, nor should that be the case – I think that You see him because I am sexually inadequate and don’t fulfil Your needs, and that he is for You and not for us.

I think we should agree that he is Your boyfriend not ours, and that I should be jealous of him (and of any other man You choose to see) because You are seeing them as sexual men because of my inadequacy.

Some times You say things that suggest to me that You don’t actually believe this. For example yesterday when You discerned that I was concerned about You going out with Amanda again.

It may be that You don’t believe in my submissive, sexual inadequacy in quite the way I do. In that case, I would like to understand what You do believe in so that I can understand and accept it.

I think we should both work harder to confirm, establish and build on my submissive, supportive role in our relationship.

I think that if You want to go out with Amanda, have sex with other men, see Dave, then we should agree that You do so because of my sexual inadequacy and that I should both accept and actively support Your decision to do so, humbly and without question.

I think that if or when I do not actively support, accept and encourage Your decisions (on cuckolding or any matter) then You should point this out to me, confirm Your expectations, and punish me for it.

I don’t think You should feel obliged to share any aspect or details of Your external relationships with me, unless You choose to do so – either to humiliate or excite me.

I think that the only opinion I should be entitled to have about Your pursuit of sexual fulfilment outside of our marriage is to accept that You rightly seek it because of my own sexual inadequacy, and I should accept and encourage whatever decisions You make.

I love You forever.

me

I kissed Her

I kissed Her a few days ago, a number of times. She started by returning my kiss as a peck, but I stayed in for more and kissed Her again and again. It was heavenly.

At the time neither of us said anything about me not being allowed to….But last night She said that She would never give me a “deep” kiss again, so apparently She held back.

Thanks to all those who voted in the poll. Sadly Blogger polls don’t work properly – because a few days ago 7 people had voted, and last time I looked it showed only 5 people having voted. Naught Google!

I showed Mistress the cock torture video a few days ago. She was not enthralled – thought it was too long repeating the same thing. But then this morning She held my balls and threatened to beet them as She laughed and talked about the video ‘I must start to practice and learn to be that ruthless with you”, She said.

What a world of conflicts!