Why am I so fucked up?

For years I asked You to get a boyfriend – someone You enjoyed shagging that you could have real fun with and just fuck whenever either of you want.

Then You found one – You were attracted to him, and You nabbed him and started to shag him, and You loved it.

I was so happy for You – this was my dream/our dream come true, and You enjoyed it so much, it was wonderful.

You even let me eat his cum out of Your pussy, You are so hot and kind.

But then what happened?

A few things happened

You told him about me/Us. He accepted that and was excited about the prospect of participating with us. You told me this.

After that, You went ahead to meet with him again. But now things were different – the two of You had said that I could play. So why, if I could play, and the sex with him was so wild and so much fun, would You want to go off with him alone rather than with me? And not just that, but for 4 hour long sessions? I wanted to play too.

So I became jealous. You’d fixed it so I could play, and I wanted to play. In my childish selfishness and jealousy I could not understand how/why You could even want to continue to play without me – even though this is what I’d asked You to do for years.

I am a selfish fucker. I moved the goalposts on your when I saw personal benefit for me, and a dilution of benefit for you to incorporate me.

I am sorry. I should not have done that. I was very unfair of me.

The question we face now is: Given all this, and my jealousy, can You go on seeing him? Can we deal with that?

The answer should be Yes: I always said I wanted it – and when You had it, I loved it for You and encouraged You to go and meet him – so what’s changed now?

What’s changed now is that I have a childish, selfish desire to join your play in the sandpit. That’s got to be wrong. It’s your sandpit – I made it for you and it’s not mine to take away.

So what I should do is step back: Get with the programme. This is Your boyfriend, Your sex, Your fun time. My roll in it all is to revel in Your enjoyment and be here for You when You get back.

And if you ever get me to participate (which You have already done once you kind and loving thing!) then I should be grateful that You are so kind to me – and not demanding of any right that I don’t have to move the goalposts on Your sexual pleasure.

I have been very selfish and self centred. I should be happy for You that You have done so well. The fact that You have even iced the cake by blowing me while he fucked Your arse beggars belief at how lucky I am, and how shameful my jealousy is.

If I were half the man I’d like to think I am, I’d apologise shamefully and give You back Your freedom.

Go with Option 1: Carry on having fun with him. Love it!