Her Submissive Goals

In view of all the difficulties my jealousy has caused, I asked her yesterday what her ideal, fantasy relationship with me would be. She replied as follows:-

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She would come back from a date with Pete. I would be in a ‘slave’ loincloth. She would be exhausted from shagging and partying. I would kneel before her and ask if there was any way I could serve her.

I would not mentioned sex – I would just offer to serve.

I would not ask for sex, nor expect sex of her – just offer to serve.

I would not talk about or mention her fucking Pete. In fact, any mention of her ‘fucking’ him at all is disrespectful and would result in punishment.

On one occasion she would allow me to massage her feat, which I would do. Nothing sexual.

On another occasion she might pull her panties to one side to reveal her dripping wet pussy, and ask me to lick it clean for her, which I would do, but this would be her choice – not a request from me.

On yet another occasion she would simply reply ‘No’. There is nothing she requires of me. She’d reach for her iPAd and watch telly, or snooze to recover from the excesses of her time with him.

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At another level, in her ideal fantasy world, I would never ask or talk about having proper, alpha male sex with her – ever. I would just be happy that she ever allows me to engage with her pussy in any way she chooses – with no expectations or desires on my part, other than to engage with it as invited.

In these cases, her invitations, when given, would always be for submissive sex with me. Never proper, alpha male sex.

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On another level, upon her return I would kneel before her and wank into a cup. Then she would make me sip my sperm out the cup over time – not all at once, but over time, to make it more humiliating for me.

At some point in time I would spread my legs, hand tied behind my back, and she would kick my balls.

It would be especially good, she said, that I would drink the sperm and have my balls kicked after I’d wanked. So I would not be on a sexual high. I would be drained. There would be no pleasure it in for me – only pain and humiliation.

I was shocked. She’s never mentioned this before.
“That would hurt me!” I said.

“Yes”, she said, “It’s meant to hurt you. To make you disciplined. To not be jealous. In fact, if you ever show signs of jealousy again I am going to kick your balls, hard.”

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The final level of her fantasy that she shared would be that I would have a daily mantra that I would repeat to her every day.

The mantra had stuff in it about my wimp cock, no entitlement to fuck her and other stuff. I couldn’t remember it all, so I suggested she send me a note of the elements so that I could draft the mantra.

She thought that was a good idea.

She sent me this:-

In response to which I drafted the following. Now, every morning and night, rather then offering to lick her pussy or arse, I am to use this mantra:

My wimp cock is not worthy of your lovely pussy. Please allow me the privilege of serving you with my mouth.

Last night she allowed me to eat her pussy to orgasm. Then she slept. She is meeting Pete tomorrow for a date and wants to preserve her pussy for him. ‘Keep it clean for him’, she called it.

This morning she allowed me to lick her arse before I got out of bed.

So I know I’m not going to be allowed to put my cock in her tonight - because of the date tomorrow. And tomorrow she’ll come back sexually exhausted – not in need of my cock at all.

So shall I wank it today? There doesn’t seem to be any reason not to wank. It will be days before she requires a hard on from me.