Yesterday morning Mistress defined some new standards. As She lay on the floor doing her early morning Pilates She pointed out a couple of incidents of unacceptable behaviour, where She felt that I had made no effort to be submissive or provide service, and asked how I reconciled those with my recent letter.
On one occasion I had argued with Her (in front of my mum) about whether or not I was putting things on the shopping list. As I later confessed to Her, I argued with Her (which is no excuse) because I was trying to defent myself against any punishment She might award me if She concluded I was in the wrong.
On another occasion She had driven home with shopping in the car, and I had not gone to the car to offer to carry it in.
She said this sort of behaviour was not acceptable, and that She should not have to argue with me about anything, nor tell me when and how to serve Her. I should use my initiative in both those areas to make Her life easy – not create work for Her telling me what to do.
Phew! That’s a tricky one! I agree with Her whole heartedly, thanked Her for guiding me in this way, and promised to try harder.
Things could get tricky, but much better for us, if She starts punishing me for ‘not being submissive enough’, or ‘not serving well enough’, which is the only level at which She is going to succeed in influencing this sort of change, if that’s what She chooses to do.
I am awed that so soon following the letter Her fundamental criticism is so basic. Not submissive enough’ is a pretty powerful condemnation.
I hope I succeed in adjusting to an acceptable level. I am already working towards that.
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4 comments:
You're right about being intuitive, it is tricky! If you do what "you think" she wants and are wrong than that can be bad for you. On the other hand she raises a good point about making work for her. This dynanamic has me going over board serving sometimes trying to make everything right which can be frustrating when she doesn't notice.
lol, Have you ever put time and effort in to a chore thinking that you are doing something great for her and then get in trouble for doing it in the first place?
Thanks for stopping by. It sure is a tricky balance, and I'm trying to leave all the FD aspects, if any, to Her to decide and lead on.
I had quit following your exploits during your temporary hiatus. I checked in today and discovered the new developments over the past month. Nice to see you posting again.
It sounds as if your lifestyle is back, although still somewhat undefined. While this uncertainty is worrisome, it is also what keeps the relationship fresh. Best of luck to you and your wife in achieving the outcome you desire.
Thank you redtail. Nice to meet you. It's always good to hear back from cyberspace.
We're dropping the kids back to start of school tomorrow morning, so things could develop from there...
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