When I married You I saw you as the most desirable, lovely wife I could and would have forever.
I now find you even more attractive and sexy. You are the cutest and most lovely girl in the playground. So much so that I feel You are more than a guy like me deserves – I simply can’t see how someone of your great beauty and character can be ‘held’ or satisfied by someone like me. I feel that you’ll desire someone ‘better’ or ‘more’ than me – someone who can attract and retain a sexy beast like you.
Something has changed – for whatever reason and I can’t explain it (except I note that you are more physically beautiful now than ever) I have become submissive towards You and You have become this idol for me.
That’s why I feel submissive to you. I hope that through my service and submission to you I will continue to earn and retain Your favour to me.
Originally (before David) this thinking lead me to ‘want’ you to have wild sex that You would enjoy with other guy(s). Because if You get the best and wildest sex elsewhere, then You can still come back to and love me forever, because with me You are getting all that You want or can get including all the great sex these other guy(s) give You – so I’m the winner.
The reality with David has been scary. The fact that You enjoy being with him so much has increased all my submissive fears immensely.
When You want to go on getting that wild sex then you profoundly humiliate me and feed the insecurity of my submission. (Interestingly, You also do also feed the confidence of Your domination – but that’s a by-the-way).
If you do carry on seeing David then You will be humiliating me into increased submission and insecurity towards You. I cannot watch Your obvious pleasure at his offering and NOT feel humiliated - submissive - wimpy, inadequate and insecure.
I am worried that this humiliation could be self defeating. The more You see him the more humiliated, submissive, insecure and wimpy I will become - the less of the arrogant or confident kind of guy that I fear or understand that You want or once wanted in me.
I feel like I am letting You down – I feel like I should be able to support You with him without feeding my insecurities.
But at the same time I feel that I am doing right – that the fact You choose to see him again and again, to drive me to greater humility, to treat me more dominantly, and me be more submissive towards You is correct and right in our relationship.
I want You to recognise a truth I perceive: When You choose to carry on seeing him then You also choose to humiliate me and drive me into increased submission. The issue I have is this: Do You want me more humiliated, more submissive than I already am? If you do then great. But if You don’t, then we are perpetuating a problem.
As Your submissive I am constantly learning more about how to submit to You. For example, this weekend I learned (quite rightly I believe) that You are not married to my mother, and any problems I might ever have in my relationship with Her are my problems not Yours. This is fine. Great. Wonderful. Exactly the sort of clarity that I crave in my submission to You. If You do now ever choose to humiliate me in front of her, then I will peacefully remain still while You do so, and then manage any problems with her myself afterwards.
I am genuinely ashamed and sorry that I did not adopt that view in the first place – it would have avoided all the problems that I caused this weekend.
So I guess my point is: Do you want to humiliate me into increased humility and submission? If so then seeing David will do this. But if You don’t want to humiliate and push me further, then You might want to rethink this.
Wikipedia: Humiliation is the abasement of pride, which leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission.
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5 comments:
Although I understand that your Wife’s relationship with David is hard on you, I really hope this isn’t the message you’re sending her. As you’re a submissive, there is no way you can compete with David when it comes to wild, uninhibited sex. Any attempt at this would only look like a cheap and inferior copy. Instead, you should focus on the things you do well, things that make you valuable in the eyes of your Mistress. After an intense session with David, leaving Her totally sexually satisfied, what could be better than to return to a clean and tidy home, dinner ready to be served by a loving and supportive husband; afterwards She can relax with a book or the TV while you do the dishes. As icing of the cake, you may then be allowed to lengthen and heighten Her sexual afterglow with a tender session of oral servitude. Why on earth would She want to leave you if She can get the best of two worlds in this way? On the other hand, if She comes home to a whining, insecure and pouty wimp who is making Her feel guilty about Her having sex with David, you’re really putting your marriage at hazard.
Comparing yourself with David sexually will only make you feel miserable and hurt; instead you should concentrate on maximizing Her happiness by making Her everyday life comfortable and pleasant. As She’s the most desirable and attractive woman you know, She must be worth it!
I understand the tie in between a WLM, submissiveness, humiliation, INSECURITY and yes, excitement. It is a tough balance.
Wow! ritemate, you paint an interesting picture. One I can (now) see clearly. Thank you for your input. I never thought of that way. I need to buck up.
whatevershesays, your empathy is appreciated.
Mistress agreed entirely with everything in ritemates comment - so much so that it rather scares me - but I am graeful to you, ritemate, for teh clarrity it has given both of us.
She particularly highlighted this phrase as being spot on:-
Why on earth would She want to leave you if She can get the best of two worlds in this way?
But she also highlighted this as particularly commendable:-
On the other hand, if She comes home to a whining, insecure and pouty wimp who is making Her feel guilty about Her having sex with David, you’re really putting your marriage at hazard.
Comparing yourself with David sexually will only make you feel miserable and hurt; instead you should concentrate on maximizing Her happiness by making Her everyday life comfortable and pleasant. As She’s the most desirable and attractive woman you know, She must be worth it!
Again, thanks for your insight.
Please thank your Mistress profusely; I’m so glad She liked my comment.
In my opinion, every woman who’s willing to take the lead in Her relationship should be cherished and treated like the Queen She is (or Princess, depending on age and preference); being allowed to make Her own rules to be obeyed at all times.
Most of all, I’m grateful that you are willing to share your thoughts and the events in your life.
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