Tension

I was pleasantly surprised when Mistress ordered me down to lick Her arse while She wanked Herself to orgasm. I was pleased that She was sufficiently comfortable to do this, and delighted in Her wetness.

In due course Mistress got quite carried away and told me to penetrate Her which I gladly did, though telling me not to cum and aught to stop, but cum dribbled out as I pulled out of Her, and She told me to put it back in for another 15 strokes. I fucker Her hard for a while, but my orgasm was messed up and I did not actually cum properly as well.

Next day we had a huge argument about the kids and things have not been the same since. The does seem to happen within 24 hours of an orgasm.

We have nearly made up, but as Mistress observed this morning (after She had to go down and get the laundry to put away) there is a tension in the air over our FemDom ‘thing’ as She called it, which is not working.

What am I to do? I find it stupid to tell Her that I don’t want to play the game if She’s not serious about it – I’m not playing a game – to me it is real, so how can I be asked to set the rules for a game where She is the boss and I the slave? I’m not going to invite Her to start punishing me again – that must be Her choice. I will just be polite, kind, helpful and submissive. It’s up to Her how She chooses to respond.

Sydney guy

One of my readers was kind enough to share his fantasy with me:

Luv looking at the pics. Like to think of your wife lying on your bed with her legs wide. You shave her pussy for her, as I watch, sitting in in a chair naked. You the rub oil over her pussy for, you see her glisten. She then smiles and asks me if I am ready. Here boy. embarrassed in front of your wife you come over and suck me, begging me to please your wife because you can't. I stand and walk over and get on the bed. your wife has you run my cock up an down her slit as she almost cums immediately. you then push my cock into her, I fuck her hard as you watch. your wife cums and again and again as you lie beside us playing with your cock. I pull out and spray my cum all over your slut face. Your wife and I laugh at you as we hold each other.

My response…..

Hmmm. My cock got hard at the idea of that!

I would kneel in front of you as you stood from your chair, and lower my mouth onto your cock to lick and suck it to make it hard, ready for the two of you to enjoy.

Once you have cum I would immediately go down on you, unasked, and lick and suck you both clean until told to stop.

Some times you would get hard as I suck you clean, and you would continue to cuddle her and play with Her tits and arse as you allow me to make you cum in my mouth before you kick me off the bed and lie back to sleep together.

It continues

It was another night and morning of not having a hard cock to rub against Mistress last night. And the cleaner is in today, so it was not for fear of strokes, but must have been for the change in our relationship.

I offered my oral services this morning none the less, and She invited me to lick Her pussy.
I did not dare not offer, least She punish me for it as well.

Thanks to the guys for comment and advice on my last post.

I've never liked the idea a 'play scene' and have always advocated full submission - as I thought had She. Hence, for example, we've never had a safe word.

If Mistress does choose to cane me tomorrow, Her usual day for it, then I can imagine the thump of the cane will really ring home into me non-erotic state arse.

Confused state of affairs...

The week has been busy and Mistress has still not had time, or the inclination, to punish me. I’m not complaining. I try not to wait in fear but to get on with things – though this is easier said than done!

But our relationship has become a little strained in the past couple of days.

Sunday night as I whispered my submission to Her in bed Mistress asked why I felt that way. I said I just did. (It was only thinking about it afterwards that I thought of Estragon’s various explanations – the presence of my cock and balls, and Her feminine charms is actually my favoured rationale for this strange, otherwise quite inexplicable state of affairs….)

Then on Monday morning, sat in bed having my tea wanking my cock with Mistress’ permission while I watched Her do Pilates I had a little accidental spillage. Certainly not a full orgasm, but a steady little dribble of creamy white liquid. I did not tell Mistress – I did not regard it as a proper orgasm, and did not want to incur Her wrath.

Monday night Mistress was out late and I was home at work at my desk. Mistress chose to go up to bed and instructed me to take Her tea in bed at 9.45. I got immersed in my work and completely forgot until I heard Her coming down at 10pm…

She informed me that I would get ten strokes for not bringing Her tea, on top of the 25 She had decide to give me after my good behaviour over the weekend. She asked me what I thought of that. I replied, rather abruptly, that I was sorry I had forgotten Her tea, but I was completely immersed in work that I’d rather not be doing at ten at night, and if She thought punishment was in order for me then that was of course Her prerogative.

Mistress was not happy with my reply and looked at me puzzled, commenting that I was weird, and kept sending Her mixed signals. I think She wanted me to gladly embrace the prospect of Her whacking my arse with a big, heavy cane, rather than perhaps merely accepting Her decision as it is.

There is obviously a catch 22 here – I welcome Her discipline, punishment and training, only in so far as it makes me a better slave – more like one She wants. I don’t welcome it for any other reason. It hurts and I am only human and will do all I can to avoid the pain!

Since then my cock not been properly hard – fear of pending strokes, not being happy with Mistress, and perhaps the accidental spillage, although that would not account for a soft cock three days later…

This morning my cock was not hard in bed. Being a Wednesday there was to be no cleaning lady in the house and I anticipated that if Mistress was happy I could well be for it. Plus, we were not happily bonding, so my cock stayed soft mostly.

I still offered to lick Her arse or pussy before getting out of bed and She accepted my tongue into Her arse without any hesitation.

It’s all rather confusing. I am not going to encourage Her to cane me because I think it’s a game. If She thinks I need punishment or discipline I will accept Her decision. And, provided the punishment is hard enough and the reasons for it are made clear to me, I will of course learn from the process.

But if She does not believe in Her entitlement and right to cane me, then I’m not going to invite meaningless pain down o myself for the fun of it.

Today

I am going to get my punishment today some time. It is making it difficult to focus on work, as Mistress could come home any time, but at least once its done it will be done and I can start afresh.

Begging for mercy

Full Circle

This morning as I lay in bed naked contemplating the beautiful woman next to me giving me 50 vicious strokes of the cane later today my cock grew hard. This is unusual – normally on a Friday morning I do not get hard, as I am scared of the impending punishment or discipline.

But today the thought of 50 was so scary, so submissive, so domineering, that I actually got hard. I am hard now just thinking about the power and fear of it. So I have come full circle.

As I thought about it I alternated between hard and soft. I am of course due, and do deserve, all 50, as hard as Mistress can lay them on, if She decides that I deserve them, but my! What a prospect.

I decided not to pretend I was up to it, and begged for Her mercy. As I clutched and massaged Her gorgeous boobs, I supplicated myself before Her, swore my eternal submission, and begged for any opportunity to do anything, not mater how humiliating or degrading, to prove Her superiority to me and my inferiority to Her and so avoid the punishment.

Mistress has a busy day planned today. A coffee morning, then some work, then a waxing. Life’s hard at the top. She decided She would struggle to fit in my caning as well, and so decided She will administer it on Monday. Until then She has most graciously given me the opportunity to demonstrate my submission and service to her. If I serve Her proactively and well enough, at Her sole discretion, then She has said She will only give me 25 and not the full 50 I am due.

She is generous in Her mercy, and so wise. My service to Her is already so much better since She pronounced the punishment, it would be wrong not to administer at least some of it, to make sure I am quite aware of Her power over me, and the need to serve Her better. I am grateful for Her wisdom and mercy, and shall scheme my way into serving Her to the uttermost through the weekend and into the future.

Of course it occurs to me, indeed I do hope, that in raising the bar through the weekend, I establish a new standard of service that She then insists I maintain – my submission and Her dominance growing stronger.

Text exchange

slave to Mistress, Cock big and hard, 9:58am: Hello Mistress. Your slave does not want to encourage (or discourage) You in any way, but Your cock is big and hard thinking that you might actually give Your slave 50 punishment strokes. Thank You for Your mercy Mistress.

Mistress to slave, 10:23am: Don't thank me for mercy....u won't be getting any come sometime 2morrow morning ! xx

Overdue - nail bighting

Mistress has enjoyed orgasms and arse licking and is in a good mood. I on the other hand remain terrified and it is affecting my every day life.

I apologised to Mistress for this, telling Her that I lived in constant fear of Her promise of 50 strokes of the cane, and that it was affecting my every waking moment. She was delighted.

I asked if She still planned to actually go through with it, and She confirmed that She most certainly was going to go through with it, but just had not had the time or opportunity, but that I will be getting all 50 of them.

I was out in London yesterday all day. When I got home the dish washer was still full, the laundry sill on the line ready to come down, the ironing was waiting to be put away, Mistress had left Her boots out to be polished, and Her hand washing was sat there needing doing.

As soon as I walked in I scurried around doing all those jobs before I even sat down. Mistress on the other hand sat with the kids and read Her magazine.

I did not dare leave any of these jobs to this morning because I know Her – She will award me additional punishment if She chooses to, and will apply them all on the same day. The thought of 50 strokes pounding into my arse is terrifying – 25 more would make me flip.

Tingle

My arse is still tingling from the canes I got weeks ago. This new cane is far more effecient than the only one.

My cock too is tingling at the thought of when Mistress will choose to use it again and to what end.