Performance review meeting

I am a great believer in communication – whenever Mistress and I talk, really talk, our relationship gets stronger.

With this in mind, and because I am sure I am not the perfect submissive, this morning I suggested to Mistress that if She wanted to improve my service to Her then, if She wants, we could have weekly performance review meetings in which we considered my submission over the previous week, appraised it and set goals for the coming week.

I suggested that, to confirm my status in the relationship, it might be best if I were to strip naked and kneel before Her for the review.

I questioned whether or not the review might best be tied in or linked to a disciplinary session with the cane – I suggested to Her that it did not have to be, but that where She felt that desirable the two could, of course, be linked.

Mistress said She liked my idea, and that we should do it.

I hope She does seize on this initiative. I would love to have clear, submissive objective set for me to serve Her better, to have them reviewed and appraised, and to be clearly punished for delivery that fails to meet the required standard.

I particularly like the idea that I kneel naked for the review – I think dehumanising me in this way would help Her appreciate Her authority, and me appreciate my submissive role, and so lead as both to a higher level of expectation in our FemDom life.

I will leave it to Her to actually pursue or dump as an idea, since She is in charge. We shall see.

Kissing in the City

Any minute now they’ll be out of their meeting and off for a few hours fun in the City. They will kiss and hug like the lovers they are. Touch, smile and flirt. She will touch his cock, and he Her pussy.

He will admire Her legs, Her short dress, Her lips and Her eyes.

Late at night She’ll come home.

And I‘ll be sat here at my desk working.

Day out

Mistress is off for Her trip to London today. Work a bit then fun with Dave.

She wanked me as She talked to me this morning (after getting me to lick Her arse) tellign me that She has no idea what time She will be back, and that if I exhibit the slightest sign of jealousy She will give me 40 strokes of the cane and make me cry.

“You are just a wimp, and he is my alpha male, so I am just going to get what I deserve, and you will be ok”, She said.

From the taxi to the station She sent this text.

Pull your tits out

“When I see you in the office I just want to yank your shirt up and pull your tits out”, said Dave in a BBM to Mistress this morning.

“And I want to get under your desk and suck your cock”, She replied.

They are at work together now, eying each other up and sharing those thoughts.

Against that background, and knowing that they are cracking away, She texts me the occasional hug, kiss and love you emoticons.

Does She send them because She loves me, or because She worries I’ll go nuts when I see how much contact they’ve had when She’s not been in touch with me all day? It’s a damn tricky situation.

Chilli and crack, porridge and crack

Last night we had a friend round for dinner – Chilli and rice, one of Mistress’ favourites. She is such a good cook.

We enjoyed the company and the conversation, and then Dave reared his head on BBM, and Mistress cracked with him solidly for about an hour of BBM sex.

This morning in bed I asked if I could do anything to please Her and as usual She had me go down and lick Her arse, which I did to the best of my ability, tongue fucking Her gently but firmly, and swirling and teasing my tongue around Her arse.

When She told me to stop I asked for permission to wank. She said I could, but that I should not have asked – ‘If I wanted you to wank I would have told you to wank’ – so She told me to make a record of a punishment due to me for asking. Well, at least I know not to ask again. I offered not to wank, but She told me I would be caned anyway, so I might as well wank. So I did.

When I got up Dave was up and the crack started. Sex this, sex that, they cracked endlessly while I made Her porridge and She got ready.

She has an insatiable appetitive for BBM sex with him. It is constant and explicit. I would be jealous, but I don’t offer Her the same thing, so that would be a little pointless…

Sex in the City

Wednesday Mistress and Dave are off to London for the day again. A one hour meeting provides the excuse they both need to legitimise a day out.

They’ll go to their usual pub, he’ll no doubt cum in Her hand, and then cum in Her mouth again in the train on the way home…

Jealousy

Jealousy is a feeling I have quite often these days.

Mistress says this is ‘silly’ and that I ‘have no reason to be jealous’ because it is me and only me that She loves, and that ‘have’ Her.

But all day every day he is never far from Her thoughts, and this makes me jealous.

I talked to Her about it.

Years ago, after I asked to submit to Her and became a submissive lover, I suggested to Her that She should find an alpha male, a boyfriend She could fuck, who would give Her the alpha male loving that She still wanted, and that I no longer offered or gave Her.

So here we are.

But, I said to Her, I always thought that the cuckold relationship would be a Femdom one – where if I felt jealous She laughed at me, and pointed out that the only reason She had another man was because I was unable to fulfil Her, so what did I have to be jealous of?

But She does not do this. Instead She tells me it is me She loves, She is not talking to him much, and that I have nothing to be jealous of.

She says that for me to tell Her that ‘I thought it would be more FemDom’ is like giving someone a car and keys, and saying it is theirs, but then when they turn left at the end of the road saying you thought they were going to turn right and asking for it back…

She’s right, really. It’s a good illustration of it.

The fact is I don’t offer Her what he does.

On their last date, for example, they drove to a neighbouring town for the afternoon in his car. As soon as She got in, he got Her to lift Her dress, pull Her knickers to one side, pull Her pussy lips open, and he played with Her as they drove down the road. I just don’t take that sort of alpha make line with Her.

She took his cock out in the car and played with it as they drove – I would never ask Her to do that to me.

He tells Her to kneel on all fours and pull Her arse and pussy open for him to eat. I could never do or get away with that.

That’s why I suggested the cuckold lifestyle. So why do I get jelous? It’s silly – I should not – it is obvious She cares for a love me, more so than any wife of any couple we know.

She says She love me more because I support Her cuckold relationship. I believe it. I really do.

I should not be jealous. But at times I am.

As She caned me yesterday – harder than She has ever done before - Mistress said that next time I am jealous She will make me ask Her to cane me harder… Interesting.

Abroad

I had to take a trip abroad for a few days, to visit my ailing father. It was good to see him.

While I was away I hated the thought that Mistress was back here flirting and having sex with Dave. I told Her this by text while I was away. She replied that She was not talking to him much, and to not worry, but to focus on having a good time with my dad.

I got back a couple of days ago.

Mistress has had me lick Her arse every morning since. And has let me penetrate Her almost every day.

Last night She chose to give me 20 hard strokes of the cane, to help me deal with my jealousy, and to remind me of the nature of our relationship. Then I ate Her to orgasm and we slept.

Yesterday Dave was out with the boys from the office. They got to talking as men do, and he reported back to Her that the consensus was that She was the sexiest woman in the office. Of course that made Her happy – and made me realise how lucky I am to have Her – whatever that means!

This morning She had BBM sex with Dave while She had Her tea in bed. Eventually he came, and the day started.

Mid week lover

Friday evening, despite having been to the forest, Mistress and Dave took the lift down as they left the office so that that could kiss each other goodbye.

And that was pretty much it for the weekend – very little contact between them at all – a short, intimate message or two every day, but nothing more than that. Apparently he had family coming for the weekend, and obviously wanted to spend time with them – and so he should.

But now we’re back to Monday, and the crackberry started at 7:20 and didn’t stop.

He seems to have a place for Mistress – weekdays, from first thing in the morning to last thing at night. But not weekends, generally speaking.

Interesting.

Driving into the forest

Mistress just called me from Her car. She is driving into the forest for fun with Dave. Apparently he left the office 5 minutes before Her in his car, then She followed on later.

She is on Her way to a place where She can have Her wicked way with his cock, and get him to cum in Her mouth.

She has not sucked my cock once this year!

My cock is not hard at the thought of Her fun, but I am glad She will enjoy it. She is clearly very excited!

Final fantasy

Mistress was pleased I shared my submissive fantasies with Her – She said She likes it because it helps Her understand me better.

So I called Her as She drove in to work, and shared my final submissive sentiment of the morning.

I work from home on the computer all day. I use an ap called DisplayFusion to cause my wallpaper across both my monitors to change every few minutes through the day. I only display porn – hard core and softcore porn, all day.

As I explained to Mistress, when I see the images of men with their cocks deep inside incredibly sexy chicks arses or mouths, I immediately think ‘Wow! Look at that – that’s what real men do with their women – imagine if I could do that! But I can’t’. It makes me think of Her – She is a woman who loves that sort of activity, but who has chosen not to pursue such activities with me, but to pursue them instead with other men.

Seeing other men do these acts causes me pain, envy and longing, but also makes me feel submissive and lucky to have a Mistress who does enjoy those activities, and is able to find other, real men to pursue them with.

For some strange reason I genuinely do not feel worthy of committing such masculine acts on Mistress or any woman. I feel it would be wrong for me to do so – such acts are wrong for me – they might be great fun, and very desirable, but they are wrong.

She agreed on the phone with me – that I as a wimp who does not deserve to engage in such acts. She said it made Her pussy wet to think that I was such a wimp and did not deserve the right to commit such acts.

She was on Her way in to work, in a tiny, short skirt and open crotch tights, going to drive into the forest today to play with Dave and make him cum in Her mouth. He always cums in Her mouth.

Punishment fantasy

Continuing our conversation below, Mistress said that She was never sure about how well I took the cane – She feels that I don’t enjoy it, like it or want it.

I replied that surely that was the whole idea – if I liked it what would the point? For it to be an effective disciplinary aid, I must not like it! She agreed.

I later asked if I might share another fantasy with Her, and She said I could, so I explained…

If She was unsure about how I took the cane, then She could specify a rule, that after each stroke I should say ‘Thank You Mistress. Please hit me harder’ and nothing but that. Then She could cane me all She liked, and it would appear to Her that I was enjoying it.

That, She agreed, was a good idea.

Toilet Fantasy

In the morning I usually use the toilet off the spare bedroom, to spare Mistress any unpleasant odour in our bathroom.

But this morning for some reason, most unusual, I used our bathroom. Mistress complained bitterly of the smell as She came in to shower, and told me that I should use the spare bedroom loo in future.

I was brushing my teeth, and my cock got hard. I decided to share my thoughts with Her – I don’t know why I do this, but I did…

I told Her that my cock was getting hard at the thought that She would tell me that She didn’t like the smell, and that She would punish me with 20 strokes for polluting Her bathroom, and that I should never shit in our toilet again, or I would suffer further punishment.

I explained that my cock got hard that She might take such simple, straight forward disciplinary view of our relationship.

She was delighted.

Waxing

Mistress is going into the forest with Dave tomorrow for a play.

So today She is going for a waxing. She told me She wants Her pussy to be nice and smooth for him...

Cuckold Coffee

Mistress and Dave have just left the office to go for a coffee before She goes to do the school run.

They do this often. She chooses to spend Her free time with him chatting, laughing and flirting in a coffee shop...

Today She is looking particularly hot. A pair of spray on leggings, boots and a tiny, tight knitted dress. Most women would not have the balls to go to work dressed the way She is, so he'll be really wowed and after Her.

I'm not too jealous. But if you're thinking it would be fun to become a cuckold, then think about all that it means, not just what it means when you've got a hard on!