Happy Birthday

Nearly a month since my last post: I’m sorry folks. Life has been busy, and I’ve been trying to make sure I live real, and not in a fantasy world.

Well, last month Mistress never did give me the canes She had said She would. I was nervous for days, but it never happened. She chose not to do it.

As recently as two days ago She drove up our drive after dropping the kids at school, on Her way in to work, and I thought She had stopped by to cane me. I was terrified. But She had come to pick something up.

I told Her I was scared that She had stopped by to cane me, and She laughed, saying one day She might just do that.

Today being a Friday I have already hand washed all the delicate clothes She left out for me. Since She sentenced me last month I put a weekly reminder on my phone so I never forget – so She didn’t even need to cane me – just the thought of it made me more efficient.

Today is Mistresses birthday. 36, though She still looks 21. Apparently some people in Her office believed it was Her 21st birthday. Worrying!

Anyway, we went to bed after midnight last night, and She chose to have a Birthday orgasm, so told me to go down on Her, which I gladly did, eating Her to a hug orgasm.

She has started to order me down on Her much more recently. Not always waiting for me to offer, which I like. She should enjoy oral sex whenever She wants, not just when I want to offer.

As I licked and sucked Her pussy She said that She was thinking She might re-introduce the cane to celebrate Her birthday year. The idea clearly turned Her on, though, to be honest, She has not chosen to cane me once in 2008 and I think it is unlikely that She will. But the important thing is that the choice is Hers.

After She came She spooned back against my hard on, and I asked for permission to put it in. She kindly allowed me, but instructed me very clearly not to cum, so I did not, though my cock was hard and the pleasure great.

This morning I asked if I could please lick Her arse before getting out of bed. While generally I am less submissive towards Her now that She no longer canes or openly dominates me much, the one thing I do like to do is submissively lick Her arse in bed before Her day starts. I find that such a powerful reminder of Her position in the house should She choose to exercise it.

She gladly allowed me and I licked deep into Her arse, fucking and licking it with my tongue.
Eventually I had to stop and get up to make tea and breakfast, which I reluctantly did. At least the day started right.

Will she reintroduce the cane? I hope so, and I hope not. We shall see.

Sentence

Mistress came two mornings in a row, both huge, shattering orgasms as I nibbled and licked, which in turn gave rise to two occasions on which She told me to cum in Her – so I have been the lucky one.

On Friday I did not get round to doing the hand wash that I am supposed to do, and Mistress has told me I will receive ten extremely hard strokes of the cane while tied down. So hard, She says, that I will never fail to do the wash on a Friday again – at least not without getting Her prior approval first.

I have already become more submissive and subservient to Her since the sentence was pronounced - going out of my way to do the dishes before they inconvenience Her etc. As I said to Her, if She canes me hard enough then I may have to start calling Her Mistress to her face (in private) so as to confirm my subservience and avoid further strokes.

This morning when I was tardy in getting out of bed to make the tea She said that if I did not move She would add two more strokes to the canes She plans to give me later today.

The kids are out all day, so She has every opportunity to return and thrash me any time through the day if She chooses.

My cock is hard with fear.

Still hard

Mistress has enjoyed my oral ministrations every morning this week. Not always choosing to cum – today She had me lick Her arse.

I have not had an orgasm – though yesterday She got me to put it in half way though eating Her, and then return to eating Her before I was allowed to cum.

I discussed Creative Guy’s blog comment (on my Yahoo blog) with Her – and his views that She should not worry Herself about whether I came or not, but should focus purely on Her pleasure, and She liked the idea of that.

On Wednesday night She allowed me to wank in front of Her, and even wanked me a bit Herself, while we surfed the web together shopping for jeans for Her. My cock has been hard ever since – I can’t remember when She last wanked me.

When I do get to cum it will be explosive. I hope She makes me drink it all up after.

Do I want to cum?

This morning rather than ask if Mistress wanted me to eat Her Arse or Pussy I asked if I could please eat Her Arse or Pussy before I got out of bed – I actually wanted the privilege of doing so.

She kindly agreed and had me eat Her arse, which I did carefully and as effectively as I good, sucking deeply and penetrating Her with my tongue.

I wondered whether She would get me to penetrate Her, but She did not, and so I am back downstairs at work with a hard cock again.

I am a bit confused. Do I want to cum? Do I not want to cum? I always want to cum, but I so love that She did not choose for me to cum, did not go out of Her way to make, let or allow me to cum.

Did She decide not to allow me? Or did She decide to allow me to abstain from Cumming? Or did She not think about it at all? I will never know. The answer is only in Her mind.

Orgasm

Mistress kindly allowed me to eat Her to orgasm before we got up this morning. There was no time for or mention of reciprocity, so I find myself feeling quite horny.

Strap on punishment

As Mistress came over me, to take me into Her, She said

“You know I said I was thinking about what punishment to use with you? Well I’ve thought what it is. It is to fuck you with a strap on with no lube. Because it hurts you like hell and makes you cry, and I love it. It really, really hurts you.”

My cock nearly got soft! This is a shocking development. Mistress has a strapon that She hardly ever uses on me – only three or four times in the years She has had it, because when She does use it I scream like a stuck pig.

It is no turn on at all to think of Her ramming that into me without any lube! It hurts like fuck with lube!

I wonder if She is serious. I genuinely don’t want that to happen at all. But if She demands it then I can’t say no – but I really don’t want it!

She would like 'more service'

This morning as Mistress got out of bed and did Her Pilates I lay in bed with my hard on in my hand and decided to talk to Her – I asked if She was happy with our relationship, particularly with the FemDom aspect of it, and happy that we were living ‘Her Way’ as She wanted.

She said that actually She wanted to make a few changes – in particular to increase the FemDom aspects, especially with me serving Her better - but that She had not had time to make the changes yet because She was too busy. She also said She wanted to introduce some sort of punishment regime for poor service, but had not yet decided what that regime would be.

I asked whether She has decided against the cane as a form of punishment, and She said no, She had not decided.

She asked if I was happy with our relationship and the FemDom side of it, to which I responded that my desires were not really relevant and that all that mattered was what She wanted. But, I said, if She wanted to take my opinion into account at all, not that She should, then as far as I was concerned the more FemDom the better, and more important it should be Her Way.

She said She would talk to me more about it this evening, so we shall see.

Fantasy Aunt

My Wife’s niece is 18 years old, just about to start university. She uses my Wife as an adult sounding board, and greatly values Her guidance on boys, relationships and sex (I believe She is still actually a virgin – but obviously at her age she is thinking about it).

After my chat with my Wife this morning I am now having this great fantasy where She tells Her niece that I eat Her arse or pussy (at Her choice) each morning, and expect nothing in return, and that she (Her niece) should set a similar standard with her men – ensuring they put her needs first and never request or expect any sexual favours in return, unless initiated by her.

The idea of my niece knowing I am such a freakily sexually submissive husband is as much a turn on as knowing that in her is a budding female dominant.

In my opinion if all girls were taught to rule men from a young age they would find it so much easier to do so as they mature, and the world would be a better place for it.

Serving Her Way

Mistress was kind enough to allow me to eat Her arse this morning before She got out of bed. She obviously really enjoys it, because She had me down there for ages before She got up. I licked, tongued and sucked, fucking Her arse with my tongue as much as I could.

When She had had enough She got out of bed and did Her Pilates while we chatted – I shared with Her my fantasy that Her friends know that I offer to and lick Her arse or pussy every morning, and what they would think if they new. She expressed the view they would think She is a lucky girl. She asked what my male friends would think if they knew, and proceeded to answer the question Herself – that they would conclude I was a submissive, with which I agreed.

I told Her that I found it particularly exciting that teenage girls, who’s men friends are constantly requesting sex from them, should know that I lick Her arse or pussy every day without any (other) pleasure myself, so that they could learn that they don’t have to give in, and can have things there way from as early an age as possible. I reminded Her of when I first licked Her arse about 12 years ago, when She was a 22 law student, before we were married.

On Fridays I now take the kids to school – so Mistress will not be stopping by to cane me on Fridays. I don’t think She is going to cane me again – but I choose to serve Her anyway and gain joy from doing that – for if She chooses not to cane me then that is Her privilege as well. I must live with and enjoy Her choice.

Eating

Mistress picked me up yesterday without any suggestion of canning me first.

As I woke, erect, this morning I lay cuddling Her and asked if She would like me to eat Her arse or pussy before She got up. She said She needed to pee and went to the bathroom to do so. I heard Her in there, and hoped that She would have a shit as well, returning to give me Her arse to clean, and waited with excitement to see. She may even choose to just get on with Her day and not allow me the pleasure of eating Her.

As She returned She locked the bedroom door – an obvious indication She would have me eat Her – got into bed and told me to eat Her pussy. I did so to glorious orgasm, wondering what She thought over the five minutes or so it took Her to reach bliss.

She crashed through Her orgasm groaning and I licked and sucked Her out to bring Her down. As she came back I asked if She would like me to lick Her arse which she consented to.

I dipped my tongue lower to Her rose hole, pushed her legs up to Her chest and licked Her arse as She relaxed.

She ordered me up and lay by Her while She decreed it time to wake up and sent me to make tea, erect and without any orgasm of my own. I was delighted and privileged to send Her out on Her day with the arm glow of morning glory.

I am so glad She chose not to let me cum.

Orgasm

I went up to bed as hard as iron, having just read this story here (A Governess for Richard) which I loved.
As I climbed into bed, my stiffie poking out Mistress lay next to me and asked why I was so excited.
I explained how the orphan boy had been trespassing and caught swimming naked by the girls, and how they had chosen to punish him so ruthlessly.
To my delight She got quite caught up in the fantasy and had me finger and then penetrate Her (I hesitate to use the word ‘fuck’ because it was at Her pleasure more so than mine, though I off course did delight in the act myself) Her to orgasm, permitting me to come deep in Her myself.
This morning She has taken the kids to school. Her car is in the garage so She will be coming home to get me to drop Her off at work.
Since the day She first expressed a desire to re-introduce the cane this will be the first time we are in the house alone. I wonder if She will choose to use it. My guess is not, but I am glad that the choice over what to do is Hers.

'Her Way' continues to evolve

Since the start of the year and Mistresses decision to live Her way I have never been punished, caned or admonished for poor behaviour or service – and much of the standard service I used to provide I no longer do.

I still do most of the laundry, but I don’t put clothes away at all (I hate putting clothes away!), I always make tea in bed and breakfast in the mornings and I do most of the washing up and tidying up but no longer do all of it. And Mistress no longer instructs me to provide ad hoc services – such as a cup of tea. She might ask me to make her one, which I always do, but She does not order me to.

A few weeks ago I was down there eating pussy when Mistress decreed that all this would have to change, and that I must offer to eat Her pussy and arse more, and serve Her better. She said I was to start calling Her ‘Mistress’ in private again, and serving Her better, and/or She would start caning me severely.

She told me that as we went off on our holiday She would expect me to serve Her submissively and She would give me a code word She would be able to use in public to mean that I had not served Her submissively or well enough and to make a note ready for punishment on our return home.

In fact Mistress did not actually give ma a code word and did not make further reference to this conversation again – so none of those things have yet come to pass.

I do still offer to (and indeed do actually) eat Her pussy and arse according to Her preference, and I hope that one day this will lead to a re-introduction fo the cane to ensure Her Way is as She wants. But I am not going to ask for or go out of my way to encourage this as I want any decision to do so to be Her and Hers alone.

I don’t really want to face the cane again – I fear it – but I yearn to serve Her submissively and would welcome any stimulus that makes me a better submissive – especially harsh, painful punishment.

I’ll keep you posted.

Going down

I have been suffering a case of ‘man flu’ for the past 3 or 4 weeks, making me quite tired and lethargic, and having quite a negative effect on our sex life.

I know Mistress has been missing Her regular attention, as She reaches for my limp cock at night, and laments that She looks forward to my full recovery.

So last night when we went to bed a little early, and with me feeling a little better, I offered to go down on Mistress. Earlier in bed we had been talking about this story I had enjoyed on Lierotica, especially the bit where JD and Ray get hard in the lifeboat. Hmm, what a fantasy!

So having titillated Mistress with that tale, She was in the mood for some sex, and I quite rightly felt that She deserved my oral attention rather than an offer of a fuck, and the important thing was pleasure for Her.

She gladly and immediately accepted that I eat Her pussy and I went down to do so.

I luxuriated around with me tongue and She soon came to a crashing orgasm, pulling my mouth hard into Her thighs as She groaned with ecstasy. Holding me there for a few minutes after to lick Her clean.

As I came up She turned Her arse to me, obviously contemplating whether or not to give me any. She decided to, and told me to put it in Her slowly, which I did. As I did, She said ‘And if you don’t do my hand washing tomorrow, then you will get strokes for it.” I replied ‘Thank You, Mistress” and proceeded to insert it as instructed.

Following on from the threat of strokes I was not sure if She wanted me to cum and so asked for clarification. She confirmed I should, and talked me through the fuck method She wanted as I Came deep inside Her.

A great night’s sex.

Quiet but interesting

Things have been quiet but interesting since my last post. There has been virtually no reference, explicit or implied, to any FemDom relationship. I have continued to serve Mistress in many ways – I still do 99% of the chores – laundry, washing up, make the breakfast etc – though there is this big different ‘her way’ where she now does it the 1% of the time without complaining, and there is no talk of punishing me if things are not done in any particular way.

Yet there are strange undertones of it in our lives. For my Valentines card I got a very detailed little card from Mistress about how lucky She was to have me, which She followed up with a note to say that what the card says was true. I read into it Her joy that She had a man that held Her in such esteem and put Her first. So She is happy to have me put Her first, but I guess only Her way. OK.

And then at times I get instructions – for example to go and make Her tea, while she sits and reads a magazine. Clear domination. Of course I do as instructed.

So its all rather odd. Are we living FemDom or not?

I am happy with our relationship – so is She. So I’m not complaining. But I am certainly fascinated. Will it ever lead to punishment? Do I want it to? I am very happy not being caned. My arse is on holiday…

Cleaning

Mistress kindly allowed me to lick and suck Her arse clean for Her before we woke up this morning.

In the absence of any domination from Her I am glad to be able to indicate my submission to Her in this way.

I find it fascinating that She welcomes my anal attentions so willingly. Either the physical stimulation feels very good (I do try!) and/or the psychological trip of having me down there is a hummer.

Either way, I am glad of the opportunity.

Threat

Last night Mistress threatened to cane me for the first time this year; the ‘Her Way’ year. She was telling me that the laundry that needed hand washing was building up and that I should deal with it, or She would give me strokes. Needless to say the washing is now done and hanging up to dry.

The night before we were talking in bed about me licking Her arse. She observed that She had not had a shower since her last shit, and told me to go down on Her, which I gladly did, licking, sucking, and pushing my tongue into Her arse hole.

After She had cum, playing with Her pussy as I licked Her arse, She let me in to Her. As I fucked She asked what I was thinking, and I answered, quite truthfully, that I was hoping She had enjoyed me licking Her so much that She had decided to give me two strokes of the cane on any and every day that I did not lick Her arse first thing in the morning.

She loved the idea of this and groaned, thrusting back into me to draw out my orgasm.

I think that’s why She threatened me with the cane the next day. But I shall still not ask for it, as I do not want it other than Her Way.

Double Jeopardy

Last night we stayed up late watching ‘Double Jeopardy’ (what a hot punani Ashley Judd is! I struggled to keep my tongue in!). So it was 1 am before we got to bed.

My cock was hard, but I doubted I would get any action at that time of night. I snuggled up naked to Mistress, my protuberance sticking into Her arse and we went to sleep – I didn’t even offer to eat Her, and she did not touch my cock despite its protuberant nature.

This morning it was, of course, hard again. Again I poked it into Her as we lay together, and again She did not touch or acknowledge it. Eventually I relented and went for the only sex I would get: I offered to eat Her arse or pussy. She chose Her arse and I went down on Her, licking deep and pushing in for Her (and my!) pleasure.

When She’d had enough She got out of bed to do Her Pilates. Confirming that this is after all Her way. I wonder what else it bodes. Clearly it involves limited orgasms for me.

I am fascinated that after all the blow outs and arguing we’ve had in the last month She clearly wants to dominate me still. I wonder if or when She’ll reach for the cane.

My offer to eat Her this morning is the closes I’ve come to ‘seducing Her dominant nature’ this year. I didn’t do it to seduce Her dominance. I did it because I wanted the sex act with Her. I maintain that I will not seduce Her dominant nature. I will simply permit Her whatever She wants, Her way.

Misimpression?

I’ve been pondering my last post.

It’s not that Mistress does not order me around this year – As I said, She did tell me to go and make Her tea while She read a magazine. And once She told me to go down on Her (but then allowed me to cum hard inside Her after She had cum).

When Her shoes or boots are clean She still leaves them in the utility room for me to clean, and She leaves her hand wash laundry under my sink for me to deal with – so there is still a fair deal of dominance going on (My cock is getting hard thinking how much there still is going on…!)

But on the other hand I’ve stopped putting away the laundry. I hated doing that, and if She’s not going to tell me that I have to do it now we’re living Her way, then I’m not about to volunteer…..

So it’s actually quite interesting stuff, and since I’m not going to ask for punishment, if She decides to introduce it then it will be Her Way because She wants to influence me, which is of course the only punishment I welcome.

There we go…

2008 - "Your Way"

Mistress and I had chat about our relationship as the new year approached. The long and the short of it was She felt I had expectations of Her in my FemDom fantasies that She was not comfortable with. She said She felt I had ‘read too much’ and developed an expectation of ‘how it should be’.

I asked Her how She wanted to live, what She wanted to do – She said She wanted things to work her way.

I explained to Her that in fact I did not read any FemDom literature, because other people’s fantasies did not interest me much – I was more concerned with us being happy.

I said I had no expectations at all, and that She should not worry about this, but lead as She chose.

We agreed to think about it.

After a day or two’s thought the idea came to me, and I suggested to Her that our motto for 2008 should be ‘2008 - Your Way’ where we would do everything Her Way, whatever that was, not ‘my way. She was delighted with this idea, and so we agreed, for Her the motto was ‘My Way’. For me, the motto is ‘Her Way’.

Since then I have consciously withdrawn all submissive behaviour from the old style, and started to live a vanilla life, waiting for Her lead to guide me in Her Way.

This year I have even initiated sex once, leading to penetration and orgasm. She expressed shock that I had cum without permission, but I said nothing, allowing Her to lead Her Way – and She chose to drop it.

She has since allowed me to cum in Her after She initiated sex, but on that occasion I did ask if She wanted me to cum in Her.

She has not caned me this year – I have certainly not encouraged Her to, and neither will I.
At times I get the impression She wants a vanilla life. But last night after we had eaten I was watching the news after a busy day, and She was reading Her magazine, She asked/instructed me to go and make Her tea, which I gladly did. (Of course in the old days I would have offered to make Her tea every day at this time or been punished for it).

Then this morning my cock was hard and I pushed against Her and massaged Her tits, when She told me to sleep – meaning ‘leave off the sex’, which I immediately did.

My cock has not been getting as hard this year. The absence of a clear FemDom structure has impeded my libido considerably.

I find it quite confusing at times. There are times I have thought that if She asks me to present myself for the cane then I shall refuse, as we do not live a FemDom life any more, so why should I suffer the cane? But then there are times that I of course miss it, and would be very excited at the idea of Her caning me ‘Her Way’.

My concern would be that She canes me because She thinks She is doing me a favour. That I would not like, as the cane hurts and it does me no favours at all if that pane is not for Her glory.
Interesting new year.

I think it’s just a matter of time before She does cane me, and that will be an interesting turning point. In the meantime I live vanilla and await Her guidance on Her Way.

Tension

I was pleasantly surprised when Mistress ordered me down to lick Her arse while She wanked Herself to orgasm. I was pleased that She was sufficiently comfortable to do this, and delighted in Her wetness.

In due course Mistress got quite carried away and told me to penetrate Her which I gladly did, though telling me not to cum and aught to stop, but cum dribbled out as I pulled out of Her, and She told me to put it back in for another 15 strokes. I fucker Her hard for a while, but my orgasm was messed up and I did not actually cum properly as well.

Next day we had a huge argument about the kids and things have not been the same since. The does seem to happen within 24 hours of an orgasm.

We have nearly made up, but as Mistress observed this morning (after She had to go down and get the laundry to put away) there is a tension in the air over our FemDom ‘thing’ as She called it, which is not working.

What am I to do? I find it stupid to tell Her that I don’t want to play the game if She’s not serious about it – I’m not playing a game – to me it is real, so how can I be asked to set the rules for a game where She is the boss and I the slave? I’m not going to invite Her to start punishing me again – that must be Her choice. I will just be polite, kind, helpful and submissive. It’s up to Her how She chooses to respond.