Thursday, March 29, 2012

FemDom conflict

Since the outset, our FemDom relationship has never been as ‘deep’ as I would have liked it. And it has been pretty deep.

I would like Mistress to:-

1) Put Herself before me all the time every time. Only ever do what She wants without ever thinking about what I want – unless of course She chooses to think about what I want and put that first.

2) Dominate, humiliate and punish me. Go out of Her way to reinforce my submissive role in our relationship. Deprive me of things I like. Take joy in my pain and humiliation. See how low She can put me down. Mentally and physically.

On the day I first introduced FemDom to our relationship, I explained to Mistress that I would like Her to pee on me and make me drink Her piss, as a humiliating act. She burst out laughing and lead me to the bathroom where she had me lie on the tiled floor, crouched and filled my mouth with piss, laughing all the time.

I was ecstatic, and saw that as the beginning of a true FemDom relationship. But She’s never really built on it. And more recently has chosen to end the FemDom aspect of our relationship – She no longer gives me any orders, never punishes me. Never humiliates me – other than by Her cuckolding which She does because She loves the sex.

I read every page of Elise Sutton’s website before I even introduced Mistress to FemDom. As soon as She wrote her first book I immediately bought it - and there you have it; it was I that bought the book, not Her – She’s never really read it.

She read a bit of the book – enough to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. And She used to choose to inflict both upon me, for many years. But no more.

The only time She truly dominates me is when She cuckolds me, and allows the other man to use all three holes. Then She allows me to put my tongue in Her arse, but never my cock. That is real FemDom and I love it.

I appreciate that I submit to Her, so I respect all Her choices and I accept them. But if I had a choice, I would choose a more FemDom relationship.

Others understand me – the artist Sardax clearly understands me – look at the extreme’s he illustrates. And Elise Sutton understands me too. Blogger.com is riddled with submissive men like me that wish they were in a more FemDom relationship. Why?

I tell myself I am lucky to have my lovely Wife. And I am. I know it. But I wish She loved FemDom as much as me!

2 comments:

Tamara said...

Have you ever asked yourself - and more importantly - your wife, what she would like?
I haven't read all your postings, and your femdom relationship has been going on for a very long time, and you say that in the beginning it was different, but I still got the impression from your recent postings that the reason why your wife doesn't dominate you as much as you would like might be that she has some submissive tendencies herself, at least when it comes to the bedroom.

She she lets this Greek guy do things to her that I would not tolerate from any man. And she seems to enjoy those things. She seems to want a lover who just takes what he wants, without regard to her.

Well, and you are not that kind of lover. So she agreed to cuckolding you and living out her submissive desires with other men.

Maybe she is missing something as well in your relationship. - Or maybe not. Maybe in her eyes everthing is perfect. - As I said, I was only speculating on a very thin data basis.

sub hubby said...

Hi Tamara. Thanks for your comments.

I agree with all you say - I think you've hit the nail right on the head.

Maybe She is missing something. Maybe not.

I don't think She is, because I do often ask Her, and She says what She has is perfect - a gentle, submissive lover at home who does what She wants, and an aggressive lover outside, who She can do dirty things with if and when She wants.

But I'll ask Her again today - its Friday and we're going for a glass of wine together for lunch...