Cuckold conflicts

I am driven to near obsession at the thought that I share Her with others. I don’t want to share Her – I want Her for myself.

But when I’m not sharing Her, I want to share Her.

We discussed it this morning. She says She hates the confusion – I can understand that.

She says I no longer deliver & cannot deliver the sexual gratification and excitement that She wants from a man.

Last night while we lay on the sofa I got a big hard on. I was thinking about how I might ‘do’ things to Her like strip Her, finger Her a fuck Her – things She wants to do with other men.

I showed Her my hard on and told Her I was thinking of all the things I might do to Her. She laughed and told me I would not do them, and that I should just wank it off and go to sleep. I wanked while She watched while I said ‘I don’t want to wank it off! I want you!’ But She laughed at me and I wanked, I came, and we slept.

But this morning it troubled me.

When She approaches sex with Dave She will do so from the perspective that She expects him to have alpha male sex with Her. She will strip for him, dress for him and fuck with him on that basis. If She did those things for me, then would I not also gladly enjoy alpha male sex with Her?

Granted, this was all my idea in the first place. But…

But what?

I don’t know!

She says I should be honest with myself.

Well, being honest: I don’t want to share Her. I want to be the only man with sexual access to my Goddess.

But when I am, I will want to share Her.

And what about Her being honest:-

I will never fuck Dave, She said about a month ago – She now can’t wait.

I will never fuck Chris, She said a bout a month before She fucked him.

I will never allow another man to take me away from my kids – not for any amount of time, ever, She said. Tomorrow She is going away with Dave for the evening and I am putting the kids to bed on my own.

Conflicts. Be careful what you wish for.

I’ve not decided what to do yet. But I do know one thing: I do not want to share Her. I want Her for myself. I may also want other things – but we can’t have all we want.