Exclusivity

Yesterday Mistress said that She doesn’t want macho sex stuff from me – not words nor deeds. If She wants to talk dirty then She’ll do it with Dave, and when She wants dirty sex, She’ll have that with him too – so She doesn’t want that from me – She wants complete control over our sex life, and for me to do as I am told by Her – including never talking to Her about nor asking for macho sex.

I thanked Her for Her guidance in this matter.

Later I asked Her: What if I decided that actually I’d like sexual exclusivity with Her – to be the only sexual provider in Her life.

She replied that if that was what I decided then She would respect my decision, because She is happily married to me.

Later still I suggested to Her that if She wanted and had ‘complete control’ in our relationship, then surely, it should actually be down to Her if I got exclusivity or not. She agreed with this, and said I could forget it.

But deep down, we both know that if I pulled the plug on it She wouldn’t see anyone else (not that She’d admit to me anyway!)

So why don’t I?

For years I’ve never been jealous of Her with other men – the one thing that changed it was Her telling me what great sex She had with David. So now She’s enjoying it I should pull the plug? Hardly seems fair. But life’s not fair.

Anyway, I won’t pull the plug. But it hurts like fuck some times.