Getting dirty during & after the date...

Conversation with Mistress

Mistress (17:13): (Wednesday – while away on Her date)
Hi you guys, how was school my sweeties? Hope you had a fab time. Look fwd to seeing you later xx love you xx

Me (17:37):
hello mummy. had a good day at school. love you. hope you have a good time. xxx

Mistress (19:21):
Hiya my sweeties, just got on 19:22 out of [Town] . So see you for kisses & bedtime XXXXXXX

Me (20:07):
Just got this text! U want us to pic u?

Mistress (20:14):
Thks no probs, in cab c u very soon my sweets xx

Me (10:23): (Next day in the morning)
Love you xx

Me (10:35):
let me know if you want to chat at lunch time. xx

Mistress (10:47):
love you too! I'll see how my day goes xx

Me (11:21):
Hey kid. Is Dave there? What's he saying today? :) xx

Mistress (11:29):
He wasn't here when I got here, but he has just come in from a meeting I think. However, I got a msg from him before I got here when in waitrose saying he was soo pissed he feel asleep in toilets and in the Resturant after, the boys had to come find him. He also commented saying, "what an afternoon , when can I see you again ?" that's all the communication so far xx

Me (11:31):
xx

Me (11:44):
as usual I talked shit about leaving you. I don't know how you cope with all this shit from me. you are too good. I love you and I will never leave you or give you up. I don't know why I say I will. I will never choose to stop worshipping you.

Me (11:45):
(no reply needed) x

Mistress (12:20):
Are you ok? Xx

Me (12:24):
not really. but I am managing to work at 70-80% capacity. I'd quite like a chat. xx

Me (12:45):
hi darling. that was not a very good 2 way chat. I wanted to share & agree a way forward... xx

Me (12:47):
that was not very fair, babes. a text saying "are you ok" and then half a phone call...

Mistress (12:48):
I know exactly what you want to agree! It is extremely difficult for me and I need to work out how I manage to do so. Everything I do is always for you and here I am changing things again for you. It's not fair, I don't think I deserve to be tested and treated this way. So I need to find a way to deal with it and move on with our lives exclusively for you, somehow!

Me (12:55):
"Everything I do is always for you and here I am again changing things for you" is not how it should be. Everyting you do should be for both of us. Ideally togther, but if nt, then in comon. You have a life too. And if you know exactly wht I want to agree, then you know more than I do! I am not trying to draw a line. I am trying to share my feelings. I am still happy to work together, WITH you to change my attitude FOR you (and thus for us). It's not so simple that you can close it in a text. I am sorry. xx

Me (13:00):
You are already 'blaming' me & getting cross with me. And we've not agreed a way forward. I thoughte were going to try and movforward together as friends and do the best thing for both of us. Not fall out before we've even agreed how to deal with it.

Me (13:01):
But one thing I am clear about is that I am not going to fight with you about this. I am going to be you strength, for us.

Me (13:02):
Please don't "deal with it" (= end it with Dave) until we are agreed together that it is, in balance, what we both want. xx

Me (13:18):
Looking a your text: I am not 'testing' you in any way. I don't need to test you. I know you for what you are and I absolutely love you for what you are. And if you really meant to say, as you did, that you are 'dealing with it' "exclusively" for me, then that is both sad, and, I believe, not true, beause you should be, and would be, doing it for both of us, together. Sorry we are not dealig wi this happily as I had hoped. I understand why though, and I still won't fight you. And I still want to agree a way forward together. Please don't try to spoil the love we have. xx

Mistress (13:23):
I don't want to fight nor do I want to spoil our love. I am finding this very hard tho and wondering why you want to shake us and mess what we have. Tell you something, when David first saw us, he said, we are so lucky to have each other and was in awe of the love and the bond we had. Why spoil it? Xx

Me (13:29):
I a so glad see that you don't want to figh or spoil. I don't want to shake us or mess anythig abot what we have. I am in awe of it too! Don't want to spoil the special love & bond we have. If my jealousy & suggestion we abandon cuckolding is doing so, then let's expore it together and not jump to a conclusion. I don't want to detract one bit from our love.

Me (13:34):
By the way, with your tolerance, indulgence & support, we can probably overcome my cuckold issues. I dont want to demand these from you, but we are where we are. xx

Mistress (13:35):
I really feel having got where I am now after so many many years of trying to get me here, undoing it would be ...... don't even have the words for it. We have created the person I am now, in fact the people we are now and I am loving who I am , the thingsI get to do and how it helps me love you even more. Although it is all diminished by the things I see it doing to you in contrast. Therefore, one of us is going to have to sacrifice their happiness and I will not allow it to be you becoz I believe I am the stronger of us both! It may take a while but I will get there in the end! You have proven unable to deal with me seeing someone else so you are too weak for is to decide it is you who has to give up your happiness. Like I said, I am stronger I think!

Me (13:44):
That is such a lovely message & shows why you deserve & have my love. But a few questions. Would stopping cuckolding really = "undoing" who you are? I don' think so. I don't want u to change 1 bit. Let's not sacrifice. Let's work together to continue what we have- what we both know we both enjoy: we both know I get HUGE +ves out of our cuck FemDom. Let's deal with my -ve issues +vely. The only Q is, have you got the strength to do that? If so, then let's work at it. xx

Me (13:53):
To be quite clear my issues are jealousy. I do not want you to change even one tiny bit.

Mistress (13:54):
Jealously is an ugly destructive beast!

Me (14:01):
Sure is. We did see it coming a few months ago though when you asked me if I REALLY wanted you to find someone to fuck every lunch time, and I said no, it would drive me nuts. We both chose to ignore that. Now we are dealing with it... xx

Me (14:05):
I think the jealousy would be less if you removed the once a month blow job rule, and once a year anal rule, and allowed yourself the freedom and me the dignity to enjoy more extravagant sex whenever you permitted it. But if you were getting this from DH then mine would get even less, not more, and I'd go nuts...

Mistress (14:05):
We sure are dealing with it! Shame eh! Instead of building our relationship, enjoying the pleasures & excitement .... and making our love even stronger, we are tearing it apart piece by piece, what took us many many loving years to put together!

Me (14:07):
For me, my love is not being torn apart. My love for you is 1000% stronger than ever.

Mistress (14:07):
I am happy to remove all those and allow you as much sexual freedom as you and I want. Consider them gone! It was you who wanted more sexual domination rules, which I was happy to give and equally as happy to get rid off

Me (14:09):
Good. Thank you my love. xx

Mistress (14:10):
Anything else you want? Xx
Mistress (14:11):
So stop asking me if you can do things to me..... just go ahead and do them like you did many years ago! In addition, if you want a blow job or fuck me in the arse just do it! Xx

Me (14:13):
There are no other things that I can think of. To me the biggest issue is/was accepting the loss of wild sex with the greatest sex machine god put on this earth....

Me (14:14):
But you did say you don’t want to do those things with me any more. What happened to that? xx

Mistress (14:14):
You are welcome to my blackberry! The password is lovemyhusband

Me (14:15):
You are mad! :)

Me (14:18):
If you give me that, you can't delete the history before I see it or I will go mad. You can clear it now, though, if you want, and I won't go mad, coz we had that understanding - though of course I will trust you more if you don't delete the history...xx

Mistress (14:19):
That was under a FD umbrella, me being controlling and assertive the only way I know how and I meant it! If you lead, I am sure we can still do those things! I'll do whatever makes you happy! Xx

Me (14:20):
Yes, but its not just about me, it's about you too; about us. x

Mistress (14:20):
I am not going to delete any history and wasn't even planning to do so! I have nothing to hide and never have!

Me (14:21):
I know. That's why I trust you. xx

Me (14:34):
Did I say, I love you? I do. xx