I am feeling angry.
I am angry that Mistress took time out of Her busy day to go for coffee with Dave, has undoubtedly spent the whole day messaging him, will spend the whole day out with him tomorrow, and will probably stay out with him well into the night as well.
My anger is childish. She is about to leave the office for Pilates. When She does, She will call me, and I am minded not to take Her call, because I am angry. That’s not very constructive. I know.
My anger is natural. I am Her husband. Her pussy Should get wet for me. She should not feel bad that another man will be away from the office on holiday for a week. If She wants to go for a drink and flirt, it should be with me.
“Tie me up”
Things are not helped by a message She sent him yesterday saying She wants him to tie Her helpless to the bed, and then have his wicked way with Her.
She would not allow me to do this if I asked.
We agreed some time ago that I would not see her BBM exchanges, because of course they upset me.
But She keeps saying She has nothing to hide, and then shows them to me – and when I see that She’s going to let him tie Her up of course I get mad.
If I show Her I am upset, She will be unhappy that She is making me unhappy, then She won’t enjoy Her time with Dave so much (She won’t stop seeing him!) – but the whole thing becomes a nasty spiral. And I don’t want that. I want a happy confident Mistress who fucks Dave however She wants and comes home to dominate and shit on me.
Give me strength.
7 comments:
I know it's a basic question, but if you want it why does it upset you so? Jealous pangs are one thing. That's part of the package. But your jealousy seems to lead straight into anger.
Hi Crystal
It's not such a 'basic' question (to me).
You say I want 'it'. That's the tricky thing... What is "it"?
In my fantasy, 'it' was a guy She fucks who gives Her the alpha male sex I don't give Her any more.
'It' was not a guy who absorbs her every waking moment.
As She says, how can She fuck a guy for whom there is no attraction? She is building that attraction...
I'm managing my anger! I took Her call! I'm beeing cool. But I can't work out what 'it' is.
When She exhibited anger that he was going off on holiday without meeting up to say goodbye, my cock got hard! Jeez - She's having a real 'thing' with this guy - I loved it! I hated it.
What is it??
Thanks for sharing, Crystal. I do like to hear from you.
I love your blog.I love the sexually driven d/s that you both have.I love cuckold themes and fantasy.But it is so edgy in reality and the stage you have reached seems very scary to me as a reader only.Heaven knows how this must be dominating your every thought.
Isn't the nub of the problem that she needs the warmth of a sexual partner and someone she genuinely has interest in.However,that aspect is so hurtful to you that it jeopardises the whole alpha sex model which you desire for her.
I said previously that I found the kissing aspect so intimate and special and something I would find unbearable. I think this whole overall intimacy/relationship is your equivalent and it is breaking your spirit,much more than raw sex.
Take care!!
Thanks, m.
I appreciate your advice. It's real.
I can understand this is going much further than you imagined. You are afraid she will leave you, though she told you she loves you.
I fear that your behaviour will push her more. It will not make her happy when you are sulking, especially as her slave HER happiness should be your priority.
Of course that's difficult and I doubt I could do what you are doing.
Be careful, mu friend.
appy
Thanks Appy. You are right. I need to be positive & happy for Her to be the same way.
Things eventually came to a head last night.
She came home, said a quick hello, took Her Blackberry out of Her handbag and disappeared about the house.
This of course didn’t help my mood, but I decide to stay cool and accept it.
But She could see I was not happy, and asked what was bugging me. I resolved not to burden Her, an said nothing was bothering me. She didn’t believe me.
At 3am in the morning we were both awake tossing and turning in bed – She because She knew there was something wrong with me, me because I am was, well, the way I was.
So I decided to talk to Her about it. I told Her than I have never agreed to or suggested that She find another man who entered our lives, and took Her away from the kids and myself, but that that was where we are now with Dave – too much time thinking about it and BBMing with him, at cost to me and the kids to whom She consequently gave less attention.
She didn’t like that, of course, and defended Herself vigorously, and well, I must say.
My cock got hard at Her spirited defence of Her behaviour. I told Her that it was getting hard because I was turned on by Her defence of Her right to see, pursue and relate to him as She chose. I explained to Her that my cock was hard thinking that after She finished Her defence, I hoped She would punish me for questioning Her behaviour, and She said that She would punish me for it.
We agreed we were friends again with no problems, and tried to sleep. But my cock was rock hard (pushing into Her arse – She could feel that it was hard.
I asked if I could wank and She kindly agreed. I wanked as I cuddled Her, and then asked if She would please wank me a little with Her hand. She did, and I came a huge orgasm, groaning as I told Her how turned on I was that we’d agreed this was Her unquestionable right.
I came, and we slept. This morning as She left for Her day out I asked and She confirmed that we are agreed and happy, with no untoward baggage over my issues.
I can now move forward, happily accepting and support Her in Her affair. I will get better at this.
sub hubby,
This made me so happy. I was fearing you would drive her away. You have a wonderful, understanding Wife.
appy
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