These are caused by my jealousy of Her intimate relationship with Dave. She can see my jealousy – I withdraw from her when I feel it, as I feel betrayed by Her, so She knows about it.
Afterwards I always apologise to Her, and She acknowledges that it is the least She deserves, and She knows She is hurting me with it, but still carries on doing it. She said She felt She should end it with him.
My response to this is always the same – if She chooses to end it, then I will support Her decision 100% and be very happy with it, but I am not going to ask Her to end it.
A few days ago we were sat quietly discussing it and She agin said She should end it because it hurts me too much.
I asked Her what She thought I wanted, and She said I ‘obviously’ wanted Her to end it, even though I wouldn’t ask Her to.
We’ve had this discussion so many time. I thought that it might help if I drew Her this graph. Apologies, but I’m in IT, and I like my whiteboard!
The X-axis is the degree of ‘Dave’ in Her life.
The Y-axis is the degree of FemDom in our relationship.
The ideal direction of our life together is the line ‘A’. She gets more sexual satisfaction from Her alpha male, and I get more submission to my loving Mistress.
But, and there is a but….
The more Dave She has the more sensitive or jealous I get. The more jealous I get the less confident and dominant She becomes. The less confident and dominant She becomes, the more I feel Her only interest is in Dave, and not in the FemDom and I’m being taken for a ride – obviously the graph moves down the line ‘B’.
I said to Her quite unequivocally that I do not want to live on or below the X-axis. Anything in the red area was not for me, and if we could not live in the green zone, then I wanted Her to end it with him, and live a vanilla life together – which I would be very happy to do, as I love Her very much.
But my preference, my choice, was to live in the green zone, on or above line ‘A’.
What did She want?
She said She wants the green zone – 100%.
So we agreed, and we are clear, we choose together to live in the green zone.
And She has really started to do that! My goodness! But that story is for my next update!
3 comments:
What counts is what she want,,u just enjoy want u can get...what ever she gives u shoud be great for u.
You should ask Her to allow you to attend one of their "meetings".
You are of course right, Cindy - I should not ask, I should just be gratefull - but that is much easier said than done. And when I do try it, I can't make it last....
Robby, I don't think She's going to let me do that! She knows I'd love to be there to lick them both clean after - I've told Her that - and the idea turns Her on, but I'm sure She won't risk upsetting him by suggesting it to him.
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