So last night Mistress went off for Her final office party. I was in a pretty bad mood as She got ready to go, because She was talking about another David (this one’s called Dave) that has been hitting on Her and that She’s clearly interested in. Watching Her get all dressed up to go out and perhaps end the night screwing him got me a bit wound up.
I went out for some beers with some buddies of mine, and we both got back home at the same time – about 1am.
I was relieved to see Her home – at least She was not off shagging Dave or Chris (the guy from last week).
She tells me though that Dave was hitting on Her hard, and that She agreed to screw him, but at another place and time… He was emailing and hitting on Her from his Blackberry after the party – hoping they could go off together and have their wicked way.
Today She’s all excited about every contact She’s having with him – She’s clearly turned on at the thought of fucking him.
I’m finding it a bit weary – now that we’re not living such a FemDom life - and that was the justification for Her screwing David in the first place – I’m not too keen on the idea of Her screwing around. If I’m not Her submissive then why would I be happy for Her to have other guys?
I can’t decide whether to talk to Her about it or not. The fact of the matter is I don’t fuck Her as well as David did (or does? I don’t know), so She wants to find it elsewhere – is it fair for me to stop Her? Probably not…I should let Her just get on with it and enjoy Her sexual vitality as much as She can – but I’m kind of feeling that 2010 should be the year of rededication to each other…
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Someone else…
Mistress didn’t hear from David Friday, even though he had said he’d be in touch. The man has no manners, just great cock action (apparently).
Anyway, Mistress decided instead to have one of the young men from work – some guy 10 years younger than her that has been pining after Her. She brought him home (here!) at 4 am and shagged him in the family room for 2 hours!
When he left She came up to bed and said he was the lousiest shag she’d ever had – small cock that never got hard and he didn’t cum… Longest lousy fuck I’ve ever heard of!
But she says She is ‘mortified’ that She did it. She did have a hangover for 2 days, so She might not have been all there when She did….
She says She’s cured of other men and doesn’t want any side action again! Interesting claim, because today is another office party night and they will both be there together –interesting to see if he dares to hit on Her again.
Apparently as he left last time She told him that if he’s going to screw Her again then he’ll need to grow a bigger cock that get’s harder! Ouch! I don’t think he’ll try again, but we shall see!
Meantime life is great and we are happy. We screw so much I can't even get hard when I'm not in bed with Her these days...
Anyway, Mistress decided instead to have one of the young men from work – some guy 10 years younger than her that has been pining after Her. She brought him home (here!) at 4 am and shagged him in the family room for 2 hours!
When he left She came up to bed and said he was the lousiest shag she’d ever had – small cock that never got hard and he didn’t cum… Longest lousy fuck I’ve ever heard of!
But she says She is ‘mortified’ that She did it. She did have a hangover for 2 days, so She might not have been all there when She did….
She says She’s cured of other men and doesn’t want any side action again! Interesting claim, because today is another office party night and they will both be there together –interesting to see if he dares to hit on Her again.
Apparently as he left last time She told him that if he’s going to screw Her again then he’ll need to grow a bigger cock that get’s harder! Ouch! I don’t think he’ll try again, but we shall see!
Meantime life is great and we are happy. We screw so much I can't even get hard when I'm not in bed with Her these days...
Friday, December 11, 2009
Waiting game.
I hate this waiting game. She's out having fun. I've not heard from Her in 3 hours. Experience tells me that means She's talking to him (on text). Will She meet him or will She not? Has She met him or has She not? Or will She come back to me?
I don't like it - I'd actually be happier if She never saw him again. But I know She likes meeting him so I won't ask Her not to.
But I don't like it.
I don't like it - I'd actually be happier if She never saw him again. But I know She likes meeting him so I won't ask Her not to.
But I don't like it.
So many changes!
Mistress texted David a few days ago. After some discussion She settled on ‘Fancy a Shag? X’.
He replied…saying he did but it would be difficult as he’s moved to a new neighbourhood and is now living with his girlfriend! So getting away would be tricky, and of course he’s not got his own place any more!
Well, Mistress was surprised. But She suggested to him they meet up this Friday (today) after Her office party, and that he come back here – to which he replied ‘OK. X’.
So She asked me to put a lock on the spare bedroom door, so the kids can’t burst in on them shagging, which I’ve done. So now it just remains to be seen whether they hook up or not. Based on his past record it won’t be until 11pm at least until he raises his head above the parpet, but which time anything could happen…
She was definitely ‘on edge’ this morning – getting dressed to go out knowing She might be meeting him. We shall see.
Golf
I just got off the golf course with my buddy. We were talking and anal sex came up (as it does when guys talk!). He reckons women don’t like anal sex. Certainly my missus doesn’t seem to like it with me much, but She’s never shagged David and NOT taken it up the arse. So if they meet up today, She’ll want it in the arse.
If they don’t meet up today, then I’m going to try for some arse myself and see if I can get it tonite!
Monday, December 07, 2009
Great weekend
We had a great weekend. A good time with the family, then us two went out Saturday night for a movie ('Law Abiding Citizen') which we enjoyed, and then we went out partying and dancing until the wee hours of the morning. Came back and shagged, Slept and shagged. Talked and loved, and then had a great evening with the kids again.
Life is good :)
Life is good :)
Friday, December 04, 2009
A little clearer
I'm feeling a little better after unloading my emotions to you all yesterday - it helped me think it through. I'm not 100%, but I am happier.
For years I did not give Mistress the sex I used to. And I encouraged Her to find another lover. When She found one She liked and did the things we used to do it drove me insane with jealousy - I want to be the only one doing those things with Her.
But I don't. I can't. So why fight it - why not accept how lucky I am to have such a loving, beautiful Wife. And why not be glad that She has also managed to find someone who can give Her the good fucking that She needs on ocassion?
Rejoice and celebrate - don't lament what might have been. It has not!
For years I did not give Mistress the sex I used to. And I encouraged Her to find another lover. When She found one She liked and did the things we used to do it drove me insane with jealousy - I want to be the only one doing those things with Her.
But I don't. I can't. So why fight it - why not accept how lucky I am to have such a loving, beautiful Wife. And why not be glad that She has also managed to find someone who can give Her the good fucking that She needs on ocassion?
Rejoice and celebrate - don't lament what might have been. It has not!
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Orgasms
While we talked that night, She told me that She never has an Orgasm with David. Only with me. She said that David knows this, and this upsets him. That’s why he does not approach Her as often as he might – because it hurts him that She only cums for me.
But She gets so wet fucking him that She squirts. She’s never done that for me.
I’m not sure I believe Her.
I’m not sure it matters whether I believe Her or not. The think about being a cuckold is you don’t KNOW what goes on. You just live with it.
Should I feel better that She said this? At the very least it proves Her heart is in the right place.
What I try to do is this: To not show my uncertainty to Her, and to not ask anything of Her other than Her happiness. That’s what I go for.
But She gets so wet fucking him that She squirts. She’s never done that for me.
I’m not sure I believe Her.
I’m not sure it matters whether I believe Her or not. The think about being a cuckold is you don’t KNOW what goes on. You just live with it.
Should I feel better that She said this? At the very least it proves Her heart is in the right place.
What I try to do is this: To not show my uncertainty to Her, and to not ask anything of Her other than Her happiness. That’s what I go for.
Injustice and Acceptance
The day after we had the discussion below Mistress gave me a blowjob in the morning. I had placed Her hand on my cock while in bed that morning – so I kind of initiated things.
I didn’t complain – I wanted it! But I did feel odd as She did it. Was She doing it because I ‘complained’ I was not getting enough? Did She do it to bolster my confidence? Or did She doing it because She wanted to? Could I ever know the answer to that question?
I conclude, even though I do not want to, that it is unsatisfactory me asking for or initiating sex that is for my benefit.
But She tells me She wants me to.
But She also tells me She would not be comfortable going to back to the place we once lived where I did that…
On my last birthday, as a birthday present She gave me anal sex – just to prove that She could give Her arse to me, and not only to David. I LOVED it! Because She chose and gave me the present – I didn’t ask or demand it – so I loved it as a gift from Her.
This cuckold stuff puts one in a very awkward place.
I feel that I would prefer to live a life of accepting that She shags David when She wants a real shag, and shags me when She wants to. Then I’d know where I stood.
I didn’t complain – I wanted it! But I did feel odd as She did it. Was She doing it because I ‘complained’ I was not getting enough? Did She do it to bolster my confidence? Or did She doing it because She wanted to? Could I ever know the answer to that question?
I conclude, even though I do not want to, that it is unsatisfactory me asking for or initiating sex that is for my benefit.
But She tells me She wants me to.
But She also tells me She would not be comfortable going to back to the place we once lived where I did that…
On my last birthday, as a birthday present She gave me anal sex – just to prove that She could give Her arse to me, and not only to David. I LOVED it! Because She chose and gave me the present – I didn’t ask or demand it – so I loved it as a gift from Her.
This cuckold stuff puts one in a very awkward place.
I feel that I would prefer to live a life of accepting that She shags David when She wants a real shag, and shags me when She wants to. Then I’d know where I stood.
Monday, November 30, 2009
"What I want..."
This morning as Mistress came out the shower She said She had been thinking about what She wants in our FemDom relationship.
On Saturday night we went out for an office end of year party, and about 2.30am when the bar was shut and She’d had plenty to drink, She suggested we all adjourn to the local Casino – the only place still selling booze at that time of night.
She tells me that I said She’d had enough, and rather abruptly ruled it out (I don’t recall this, but She could well be right), and this was unacceptable to Her. I should never claim to be in charge on any matter, and should always defer to Her decision – I could plead my case, but must defer to Her decision.
I think that’s the end of the matter – She did not tell me She was going to enforce this point with the cane, so I don’t think I will be punished for my behaviour.
Did She consider punishing me for it to drive Her point home?
Do I want Her to punish me for it? Yes. I think that She should educate me on Her feelings on the matter by caning my arse until it bleeds and I cry real tears, so I never forget the lesson to defer to Her.
I’d love to share this sentiment with Her, but that could be seen as topping from the bottom and I am resolved NOT to do that.
So I shall simply try to learn from what She said, so that the punishment is not necessary anyway.
On Saturday night we went out for an office end of year party, and about 2.30am when the bar was shut and She’d had plenty to drink, She suggested we all adjourn to the local Casino – the only place still selling booze at that time of night.
She tells me that I said She’d had enough, and rather abruptly ruled it out (I don’t recall this, but She could well be right), and this was unacceptable to Her. I should never claim to be in charge on any matter, and should always defer to Her decision – I could plead my case, but must defer to Her decision.
I think that’s the end of the matter – She did not tell me She was going to enforce this point with the cane, so I don’t think I will be punished for my behaviour.
Did She consider punishing me for it to drive Her point home?
Do I want Her to punish me for it? Yes. I think that She should educate me on Her feelings on the matter by caning my arse until it bleeds and I cry real tears, so I never forget the lesson to defer to Her.
I’d love to share this sentiment with Her, but that could be seen as topping from the bottom and I am resolved NOT to do that.
So I shall simply try to learn from what She said, so that the punishment is not necessary anyway.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Arse Licker
It is some time since I offered to lick Mistress’ Arse in the morning – in fact last time I did, She asked me to. But today I offered – Arse or Pussy as usual, and She chose Arse, as usual, and so down I went.
I gave Her a real treat, smooth all the way, penetrating Her gently but firmly with my tongue. When She called me up, She told me to put it in Her, and I gladly did.
As I fucked Her I could not help but feel so pathetic – all I can do is lick Her arse and then spoon fuck Her from behind, whereas David fucks Her for 3 hours in every position and distortion known to man – no wonder She loves fucking him.
I came a huge orgasm thinking that She must be thinking how much more exciting a good fuck from David is…
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
All Change
I sent Mistress this text today. Speaks for itself.
Hi Sexy. You said you were going to cane me for not making you tea the other day. I would obviously prefer that you don't cane me - because it hurts. But if you ever feel that you do want to cane me - for punishment, discipline or just because it makes your pussy wet, then I would be happiest & prefer it if you do exactly and only as you wish. When it comes to defining our FemDom relationship I submit to you 2000% to make me the type of submissive you choose. xx
Monday, November 23, 2009
Punishment
Mistress tells me She wants me to more outgoing – particularly in the bedroom, pushing more for what I want.
I get the feeling She’s decided She likes that, having tasted it with David, and does not want to live with my submissive side.
So I try it – I give Her a good fucking – while riding Her from behind I get to see the tattoo on Her arse, which I have never seen while fucking Her – in the years She has had it I have not fucked Her doggy style once before!
I like it. She likes it. We try for more. I still find it tricky, pushing for what I want, but damn, it has its rewards and so I try.
Then She asks for tea one morning when I’m asleep. A few beers the night before and I don’t really want to get out of bed yet, so I don’t.
Now She wants to cane me 20 strokes for not making Her tea. She says She’s fine with me being more forward sexually, but when She tells me to make tea I should make tea.
She seems pretty determined to cane me for it.
I’m not so sure I want that. This equality thing has some advantages too.
I get the feeling She’s decided She likes that, having tasted it with David, and does not want to live with my submissive side.
So I try it – I give Her a good fucking – while riding Her from behind I get to see the tattoo on Her arse, which I have never seen while fucking Her – in the years She has had it I have not fucked Her doggy style once before!
I like it. She likes it. We try for more. I still find it tricky, pushing for what I want, but damn, it has its rewards and so I try.
Then She asks for tea one morning when I’m asleep. A few beers the night before and I don’t really want to get out of bed yet, so I don’t.
Now She wants to cane me 20 strokes for not making Her tea. She says She’s fine with me being more forward sexually, but when She tells me to make tea I should make tea.
She seems pretty determined to cane me for it.
I’m not so sure I want that. This equality thing has some advantages too.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Making up...
I suggested to Mistress that if She wants to see David again this side of Christmas, then She should apologise to him for leaving his place in a strop – after all, She took Her girlfriend there at 5am, pissed, and She knows the guy has a 3some fantasy – what did She expect but for him to ask? Honestly!
So, at my urging, She’s texted him today to say sorry, She got a little jealous. She said the guy would never reply, but e did. Immediately & happily. So they are now making up.
Why did I encourage it? Suggest it, initiate it, even? I want an exclusive relationship with Her where all She thinks of is me. But in reality, I KNOW She loves fucking him and is never going to forget that – so why not let Her – it makes Her happy and costs me very little.
And maybe one day, maybe, they will both accept me as their submissive. Though that is so unlikely I should forget the idea…
So, at my urging, She’s texted him today to say sorry, She got a little jealous. She said the guy would never reply, but e did. Immediately & happily. So they are now making up.
Why did I encourage it? Suggest it, initiate it, even? I want an exclusive relationship with Her where all She thinks of is me. But in reality, I KNOW She loves fucking him and is never going to forget that – so why not let Her – it makes Her happy and costs me very little.
And maybe one day, maybe, they will both accept me as their submissive. Though that is so unlikely I should forget the idea…
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
“I LOVE fucking that guy”
As I fucked Mistress on Saturday morning, as soon as She got into bed back from David’s, She said ‘I LOVE fucking that guy’. Her eyes were closed as She pushed back onto my cock, and repeated Herself, ‘I LOVE fucking that guy!’
Clearly Her mind was not on me while I did my thing – that guy fucks Her good.
She was drunk, and embarrassed when I told Her about it later, but at least She did not deny it, and confirmed that She does love fucking him.
Clearly Her mind was not on me while I did my thing – that guy fucks Her good.
She was drunk, and embarrassed when I told Her about it later, but at least She did not deny it, and confirmed that She does love fucking him.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Lover's tiff!
Mistress and David had their first lover's tiff on Saturday - over the 3some with Amanda that he wanted and She didn't want! I find that quite funny - until now their relationship has been artificially perfect - they get dressed up, meet, party, drink fuck and sleep - so for once a little touch of reality crept in...
It'll be interesting to see how it develops moving forward.
He told he her loves her again. But as I said to her - of course he does - their life together is artifially unreal - just good times. Let's see how he copes with his love now...
Because Mistress came home without having had the usual 3 hour of sex with him She was quite horny and I got to cum 3 times yesterday. Means I can't even get it up today - though of course I want to!
It'll be interesting to see how it develops moving forward.
He told he her loves her again. But as I said to her - of course he does - their life together is artifially unreal - just good times. Let's see how he copes with his love now...
Because Mistress came home without having had the usual 3 hour of sex with him She was quite horny and I got to cum 3 times yesterday. Means I can't even get it up today - though of course I want to!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Meeting up again
Last night Mistress went out with her friend Amanda.
They hooked up with David and partied the night away, finishing up at his place at about 5 am.
He wanted them both together, but Mistress didn't want this - so She ended up coming back to me - though she did 'let him put it in' at one stage...
They hooked up with David and partied the night away, finishing up at his place at about 5 am.
He wanted them both together, but Mistress didn't want this - so She ended up coming back to me - though she did 'let him put it in' at one stage...
Monday, November 09, 2009
Oral sex
Last night Mistress told me to go down on Her in bed, which I gladly did.
As She came She pulled my head hard into Her groin to hold me there (I love it when She comes as I eat Her).
She didn't suck my cock. I can't remember when She last sucked my cock - it's just not about that any more.
She sucks David's cock every time She meets him...
As She came She pulled my head hard into Her groin to hold me there (I love it when She comes as I eat Her).
She didn't suck my cock. I can't remember when She last sucked my cock - it's just not about that any more.
She sucks David's cock every time She meets him...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
More chat...
Me (12:50):
I was very happy giving You a blow job to orgasm last night, and licking Your arse this morning, and getting nothing in return - because You chose not to give me anything. I love it when we do what You want. Xx
Me (13:00):
I wish You felt comfortable sharing intimate sexual things with me - for example saying (1) I would love to just spend a night out with David and go back to his place for a good fuck, or (2) I played with his cock and sucked it for hours - I love sucking his cock, it was great, or (3) Go and buy me 3 fruits to take to David to use in my cunt, or (4) I want to spend the whole night with David and wake up in his arms, so I've invited him to spend the night in London the day of my next course. We talked about it and agreed we don't want you there. Etc Whatever You want really... ;-) xx
Me (13:11):
It was extremely humiliating & degrading to wank myself in bed while you lay next to me and did nothing. Especially wiping my cum afterwards. But I am grateful You let me do it, let me hold Your tits while I wanked, and chose to humiliate me in this way. xx
Me (13:24):
I feel very selfish telling You what 'I want'. Sorry. I guess it's been too easy to be selfish because I'm packaging it as 'I want what You want'.
Mistress (13:40):
Nothing to b sorry abt. Get back to work now! X x
Me (13:41):
Thank You Mistress. Dish washer is not working at all well. Maybe You should sow Your slave how to maintain it so You don't need to worry about it again. Xx
Mistress (13:45):
Ok x x
I was very happy giving You a blow job to orgasm last night, and licking Your arse this morning, and getting nothing in return - because You chose not to give me anything. I love it when we do what You want. Xx
Me (13:00):
I wish You felt comfortable sharing intimate sexual things with me - for example saying (1) I would love to just spend a night out with David and go back to his place for a good fuck, or (2) I played with his cock and sucked it for hours - I love sucking his cock, it was great, or (3) Go and buy me 3 fruits to take to David to use in my cunt, or (4) I want to spend the whole night with David and wake up in his arms, so I've invited him to spend the night in London the day of my next course. We talked about it and agreed we don't want you there. Etc Whatever You want really... ;-) xx
Me (13:11):
It was extremely humiliating & degrading to wank myself in bed while you lay next to me and did nothing. Especially wiping my cum afterwards. But I am grateful You let me do it, let me hold Your tits while I wanked, and chose to humiliate me in this way. xx
Me (13:24):
I feel very selfish telling You what 'I want'. Sorry. I guess it's been too easy to be selfish because I'm packaging it as 'I want what You want'.
Mistress (13:40):
Nothing to b sorry abt. Get back to work now! X x
Me (13:41):
Thank You Mistress. Dish washer is not working at all well. Maybe You should sow Your slave how to maintain it so You don't need to worry about it again. Xx
Mistress (13:45):
Ok x x
Texts with Mistress
Conversation with Mistress
Me (09:52):
Hi Sexy. I really love You and just want to make You happy. Xx
Mistress (10:13):
I love you too and you do make me happy & I want to make u happy too! X x
Mistress (10:24):
So, are u genuinely happy for me to txt David? I want the 100% truth & don't say " ur happy if that's what I want!" x x
(11:15 Mistress called me because I had not replied - I had an engineer at home. The engineer was gone, so I asked Her if I could tell Her how I feel, and She allowed me. I tried to explain to Her that my main desire was to be Her submissive. She listened, we chatted and She went back to work)
Me (11:27):
The 100% truth... Hmm. I'm not 100% sure what that is. I am very jealous & humiliated that you want to and actually do what You do with him. But I am also very humiliated that You choose not to touch or suck my cock (especially when You obviously do his). This humiliation is more personal to us and less to do with David (I would still feel it if he were not there). But what I want is to be Your submissive (actually Your sexual submissive, but I don't see how I get to decide that...) 100% Your submissive in any and all ways You want. History tells me that You are happier with this when You are seeing David. If You told me You WANT to text/see/be with David then I'd say 'great - do that'.
Me (11:31):
I sent You the long text anyway - very confusing. I don't want to be confusing - I want to make You happy, and that means You should send the text. We both KNOW thats what You want to do. When we pretend it is not, we do not accept my submission to You. Doing it shows that You do respect Your authority over me and my submission to You, by acting as You want. So, the answer to Your question is YES. I am happy with You sending it. I am happy for You to do it as an act of dominance over me - and because it makes You happy. Xx I Love You. Send it! Xx
Mistress (11:33):
Ok xx will send. We'll discuss more tonite x x
Me (11:34):
Thank You Mistress. I'd be very happy to discuss more tonight, only if You wish to. If not, I will be happy to live per Your wishes. XX. I hope he replies! Enjoy xx
Mistress (11:35):
Cool x x. I doubt he will reply xx
Me (11:36):
Of course he will! He's not daft! You! In a skirt! He'll reply! Xx :)
Mistress (11:37):
We both know he is a weirdo and he has been a little quiet since his big reveal so I honestly do not think he will reply! X x
Me (11:38):
I won't trivialise the Big Reveal! That was huge! But he's doe it before and come back - now he loves You more. He'll be back. I'm sure. Xx We'll see....
Mistress (11:39):
Ha!.... we'll see x x
Me (11:45):
Do you mind if I text You a few thoughts through the day? I don't expect a reply - I just find it easy to share a brief thought when I have it. Xx. Please just reply Y if you are happy for me to send thoughts, or N of you don't want me to - I won't get upset!!! Xx
Mistress (11:46):
Y x x
Me (11:55):
As You know, I would LOVE for You to touch my cock, let alone suck it. I have even asked you to cane me so that You feel able to touch me. Even though You know I would love You to touch me, You have chosen not to do so. I am so happy with this, because I know You are doing what You want, not what I want. I believe You have actually chosen not to touch my cock and therefore You are happy not touching it. Therefore I am happy – even though I WANT You to touch it. I am even happier now that You have said You will give me ‘payment’ strokes tonight.
Me (11:58):
I will be even happier if David asks You to meet him tonight and You chose to spend Your time showering, changing and going to see him rather than wasting 5 minutes of Your time caning me – because I will know You have done what You choose. Though of course I will also be happy if You chose to cane me, and then went to see him, and then came back and told me you’d discussed it with him and agreed not to touch me anyway. Because I’d know You were doing what You want. Xx
Me (12:11):
When You said You would go and see Karen in the morning on your way to work, the jealous child in me resented the fact that You would find time to do that, and apparently did not ‘care’ to find the time to cane me so that You could play with my cock. I dealt with this by accepting it as Your (unconscious) choice. Now, it is not Your job to make my life easier (on the contrary – You need not care about that!) But if You WANT to really make Your slave happy, then if You chose to find time to go and see Karen rather than cane me, then if you give me a kiss and a smile, and ask me if I’d rather You went to see Karen or gave me my canes, then I’d know You were domming me and I’d be as happy as is humanly possible. xx
Me (09:52):
Hi Sexy. I really love You and just want to make You happy. Xx
Mistress (10:13):
I love you too and you do make me happy & I want to make u happy too! X x
Mistress (10:24):
So, are u genuinely happy for me to txt David? I want the 100% truth & don't say " ur happy if that's what I want!" x x
(11:15 Mistress called me because I had not replied - I had an engineer at home. The engineer was gone, so I asked Her if I could tell Her how I feel, and She allowed me. I tried to explain to Her that my main desire was to be Her submissive. She listened, we chatted and She went back to work)
Me (11:27):
The 100% truth... Hmm. I'm not 100% sure what that is. I am very jealous & humiliated that you want to and actually do what You do with him. But I am also very humiliated that You choose not to touch or suck my cock (especially when You obviously do his). This humiliation is more personal to us and less to do with David (I would still feel it if he were not there). But what I want is to be Your submissive (actually Your sexual submissive, but I don't see how I get to decide that...) 100% Your submissive in any and all ways You want. History tells me that You are happier with this when You are seeing David. If You told me You WANT to text/see/be with David then I'd say 'great - do that'.
Me (11:31):
I sent You the long text anyway - very confusing. I don't want to be confusing - I want to make You happy, and that means You should send the text. We both KNOW thats what You want to do. When we pretend it is not, we do not accept my submission to You. Doing it shows that You do respect Your authority over me and my submission to You, by acting as You want. So, the answer to Your question is YES. I am happy with You sending it. I am happy for You to do it as an act of dominance over me - and because it makes You happy. Xx I Love You. Send it! Xx
Mistress (11:33):
Ok xx will send. We'll discuss more tonite x x
Me (11:34):
Thank You Mistress. I'd be very happy to discuss more tonight, only if You wish to. If not, I will be happy to live per Your wishes. XX. I hope he replies! Enjoy xx
Mistress (11:35):
Cool x x. I doubt he will reply xx
Me (11:36):
Of course he will! He's not daft! You! In a skirt! He'll reply! Xx :)
Mistress (11:37):
We both know he is a weirdo and he has been a little quiet since his big reveal so I honestly do not think he will reply! X x
Me (11:38):
I won't trivialise the Big Reveal! That was huge! But he's doe it before and come back - now he loves You more. He'll be back. I'm sure. Xx We'll see....
Mistress (11:39):
Ha!.... we'll see x x
Me (11:45):
Do you mind if I text You a few thoughts through the day? I don't expect a reply - I just find it easy to share a brief thought when I have it. Xx. Please just reply Y if you are happy for me to send thoughts, or N of you don't want me to - I won't get upset!!! Xx
Mistress (11:46):
Y x x
Me (11:55):
As You know, I would LOVE for You to touch my cock, let alone suck it. I have even asked you to cane me so that You feel able to touch me. Even though You know I would love You to touch me, You have chosen not to do so. I am so happy with this, because I know You are doing what You want, not what I want. I believe You have actually chosen not to touch my cock and therefore You are happy not touching it. Therefore I am happy – even though I WANT You to touch it. I am even happier now that You have said You will give me ‘payment’ strokes tonight.
Me (11:58):
I will be even happier if David asks You to meet him tonight and You chose to spend Your time showering, changing and going to see him rather than wasting 5 minutes of Your time caning me – because I will know You have done what You choose. Though of course I will also be happy if You chose to cane me, and then went to see him, and then came back and told me you’d discussed it with him and agreed not to touch me anyway. Because I’d know You were doing what You want. Xx
Me (12:11):
When You said You would go and see Karen in the morning on your way to work, the jealous child in me resented the fact that You would find time to do that, and apparently did not ‘care’ to find the time to cane me so that You could play with my cock. I dealt with this by accepting it as Your (unconscious) choice. Now, it is not Your job to make my life easier (on the contrary – You need not care about that!) But if You WANT to really make Your slave happy, then if You chose to find time to go and see Karen rather than cane me, then if you give me a kiss and a smile, and ask me if I’d rather You went to see Karen or gave me my canes, then I’d know You were domming me and I’d be as happy as is humanly possible. xx
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