"I can't win"

2 minutes go Mistress sent me a text. ‘Kiss kiss’, it said.

When She used to share her Crackberry with me, if She’d not contacted me all day, I’d have checked the time of Her (constant) messages to Dave, and I’d have commented to Her that She spent the whole day talking to him.

If, back in those days, She’s sent me a text like this, then when I looked at Her crack I’d check to see if She’d been messaging Dave at the time, and whether that was what had made Her decide to text me.

I was honest with Her about this (that is one of my major faults – what I call ‘honesty’). I’d say to Her that I believe the only reason She’d texted me was to assuage Her guilt in messaging him, or to show me She was also thinking about me, while She furiously had BBM sex with him.

So She knows that when She texts me, I am suspicious as to the reasons for it. ‘I can’t win’ She says – if I don’t text you I’m ignoring you, and if I do text you, you don’t want it because you don’t believe its genuine.

She’s right. She cannot win.

Today I know I won’t get to see Her crack with him, so I will never know if the two of them were having BBM sex, or arranged a date, or if She told him She wanted him just at the time She decided to text me.

But even though I don’t know, I will assume it. I assume that She was telling him how hot She was for him, and decided to placate me at the same time, feeling a little guilty.

I assume that She didn’t really want to text me – not in the same way that She likes to have BBM sex with him.

And if you think about it, this must be right. Would you rather text your complaining spouse, or exchange messages with your sexy beaux? The answer’s obvious.

That’s the think about cuckolding. There are some things you can’t win…