Thursday, September 23, 2010

“That’s it, really…”

Mistress has just called from Her car on the way out the office to go and pick up the kids. Our conversation was fairly brief. She’s got a lot of work to do so has carried some work home – She might do that this evening or early tomorrow morning, She’s on Her way to get the kids. “That’s it, really”, She concluded Her update. “OK”, I said, and our conversation ended.

A few days ago this conversation would not have possible without talking about Dave – She’d have told me what they’d cracked about through the day, and what their next plan was – possible date or fuck session. But not today. Today there was that pregnant silence at the end of the conversation. Needless to say I didn’t ask, and won’t ask, any questions.

Dave sent Her crack this morning, so I know they’ve been in touch.

When She told me of Her decision to go private with their relationship She specifically said that She wanted us to be able to live and talk without him always coming into it, or his name always coming up. He was ‘too dominant’ in our lives, She felt. She wants us to live and enjoy in our own right, and not have him as the be all and end all of everything.

So this is Her attempt at achieving that.

It might work for Her. But the absence of news about him is just as significant if not more so than the presence of news about him.

Tomorrow is his last day at work before he goes off on holiday for a few weeks, so it’ll be interesting to see how those few weeks go – there won’t be any pregnant silence because the two of them won’t be in touch. She’ll start to leave Her crackberry at home.

3 comments:

m said...

Hi sub hubby,
Your blogs have taken on an increasing air of unhappiness and desperation.I feel for you very much because I think you are confused between those deep and 'very nice' submissive feelings and 'this' which may have even deeper roots and intense feelings but are quite corrosive. I suspect that the discomfort is because the submission has become remote from you and mistress, in which you are now only a bit part. The cuckold fantasy has obviously had its attractions but the reality is quite unbearable for you and you are scared of being distanced by your lovely wife.That is happening in the non discussion of it and what they are doing.It's their private thing and not yours.It is easy for others to say you wanted this,but now it's happened and you are quite entitled to say you don't like it.
I honestly don't blame you and if it were me,I would be talking to her and explaining that you were glad for the exploration but it is hurting and damaging you and her too much to continue.
At the moment, I feel quite sad, in a supportive way, to where this has led.

sub hubby said...

Thanks m. I can see your point.

I'm actually very happy with myself, and our relationship right now. I'm focussed on being supportive, and finding the deeper submission and satisfaction (and love) that gives.

But I keep an eye on this thought....

sub hubby said...

Your comments, m, have made me think.

I was not aware I am becoming increasingly unhappy and desperate. Am I? I don't know. I can see that I might be. I don't want to be, so I tried discussing it with Mistress, giving rise to the open letter I've published in today's blog entry.

Thanks for helping me open my own door.