Going down

I have been suffering a case of ‘man flu’ for the past 3 or 4 weeks, making me quite tired and lethargic, and having quite a negative effect on our sex life.

I know Mistress has been missing Her regular attention, as She reaches for my limp cock at night, and laments that She looks forward to my full recovery.

So last night when we went to bed a little early, and with me feeling a little better, I offered to go down on Mistress. Earlier in bed we had been talking about this story I had enjoyed on Lierotica, especially the bit where JD and Ray get hard in the lifeboat. Hmm, what a fantasy!

So having titillated Mistress with that tale, She was in the mood for some sex, and I quite rightly felt that She deserved my oral attention rather than an offer of a fuck, and the important thing was pleasure for Her.

She gladly and immediately accepted that I eat Her pussy and I went down to do so.

I luxuriated around with me tongue and She soon came to a crashing orgasm, pulling my mouth hard into Her thighs as She groaned with ecstasy. Holding me there for a few minutes after to lick Her clean.

As I came up She turned Her arse to me, obviously contemplating whether or not to give me any. She decided to, and told me to put it in Her slowly, which I did. As I did, She said ‘And if you don’t do my hand washing tomorrow, then you will get strokes for it.” I replied ‘Thank You, Mistress” and proceeded to insert it as instructed.

Following on from the threat of strokes I was not sure if She wanted me to cum and so asked for clarification. She confirmed I should, and talked me through the fuck method She wanted as I Came deep inside Her.

A great night’s sex.

Quiet but interesting

Things have been quiet but interesting since my last post. There has been virtually no reference, explicit or implied, to any FemDom relationship. I have continued to serve Mistress in many ways – I still do 99% of the chores – laundry, washing up, make the breakfast etc – though there is this big different ‘her way’ where she now does it the 1% of the time without complaining, and there is no talk of punishing me if things are not done in any particular way.

Yet there are strange undertones of it in our lives. For my Valentines card I got a very detailed little card from Mistress about how lucky She was to have me, which She followed up with a note to say that what the card says was true. I read into it Her joy that She had a man that held Her in such esteem and put Her first. So She is happy to have me put Her first, but I guess only Her way. OK.

And then at times I get instructions – for example to go and make Her tea, while she sits and reads a magazine. Clear domination. Of course I do as instructed.

So its all rather odd. Are we living FemDom or not?

I am happy with our relationship – so is She. So I’m not complaining. But I am certainly fascinated. Will it ever lead to punishment? Do I want it to? I am very happy not being caned. My arse is on holiday…

Cleaning

Mistress kindly allowed me to lick and suck Her arse clean for Her before we woke up this morning.

In the absence of any domination from Her I am glad to be able to indicate my submission to Her in this way.

I find it fascinating that She welcomes my anal attentions so willingly. Either the physical stimulation feels very good (I do try!) and/or the psychological trip of having me down there is a hummer.

Either way, I am glad of the opportunity.

Threat

Last night Mistress threatened to cane me for the first time this year; the ‘Her Way’ year. She was telling me that the laundry that needed hand washing was building up and that I should deal with it, or She would give me strokes. Needless to say the washing is now done and hanging up to dry.

The night before we were talking in bed about me licking Her arse. She observed that She had not had a shower since her last shit, and told me to go down on Her, which I gladly did, licking, sucking, and pushing my tongue into Her arse hole.

After She had cum, playing with Her pussy as I licked Her arse, She let me in to Her. As I fucked She asked what I was thinking, and I answered, quite truthfully, that I was hoping She had enjoyed me licking Her so much that She had decided to give me two strokes of the cane on any and every day that I did not lick Her arse first thing in the morning.

She loved the idea of this and groaned, thrusting back into me to draw out my orgasm.

I think that’s why She threatened me with the cane the next day. But I shall still not ask for it, as I do not want it other than Her Way.

Double Jeopardy

Last night we stayed up late watching ‘Double Jeopardy’ (what a hot punani Ashley Judd is! I struggled to keep my tongue in!). So it was 1 am before we got to bed.

My cock was hard, but I doubted I would get any action at that time of night. I snuggled up naked to Mistress, my protuberance sticking into Her arse and we went to sleep – I didn’t even offer to eat Her, and she did not touch my cock despite its protuberant nature.

This morning it was, of course, hard again. Again I poked it into Her as we lay together, and again She did not touch or acknowledge it. Eventually I relented and went for the only sex I would get: I offered to eat Her arse or pussy. She chose Her arse and I went down on Her, licking deep and pushing in for Her (and my!) pleasure.

When She’d had enough She got out of bed to do Her Pilates. Confirming that this is after all Her way. I wonder what else it bodes. Clearly it involves limited orgasms for me.

I am fascinated that after all the blow outs and arguing we’ve had in the last month She clearly wants to dominate me still. I wonder if or when She’ll reach for the cane.

My offer to eat Her this morning is the closes I’ve come to ‘seducing Her dominant nature’ this year. I didn’t do it to seduce Her dominance. I did it because I wanted the sex act with Her. I maintain that I will not seduce Her dominant nature. I will simply permit Her whatever She wants, Her way.

Misimpression?

I’ve been pondering my last post.

It’s not that Mistress does not order me around this year – As I said, She did tell me to go and make Her tea while She read a magazine. And once She told me to go down on Her (but then allowed me to cum hard inside Her after She had cum).

When Her shoes or boots are clean She still leaves them in the utility room for me to clean, and She leaves her hand wash laundry under my sink for me to deal with – so there is still a fair deal of dominance going on (My cock is getting hard thinking how much there still is going on…!)

But on the other hand I’ve stopped putting away the laundry. I hated doing that, and if She’s not going to tell me that I have to do it now we’re living Her way, then I’m not about to volunteer…..

So it’s actually quite interesting stuff, and since I’m not going to ask for punishment, if She decides to introduce it then it will be Her Way because She wants to influence me, which is of course the only punishment I welcome.

There we go…

2008 - "Your Way"

Mistress and I had chat about our relationship as the new year approached. The long and the short of it was She felt I had expectations of Her in my FemDom fantasies that She was not comfortable with. She said She felt I had ‘read too much’ and developed an expectation of ‘how it should be’.

I asked Her how She wanted to live, what She wanted to do – She said She wanted things to work her way.

I explained to Her that in fact I did not read any FemDom literature, because other people’s fantasies did not interest me much – I was more concerned with us being happy.

I said I had no expectations at all, and that She should not worry about this, but lead as She chose.

We agreed to think about it.

After a day or two’s thought the idea came to me, and I suggested to Her that our motto for 2008 should be ‘2008 - Your Way’ where we would do everything Her Way, whatever that was, not ‘my way. She was delighted with this idea, and so we agreed, for Her the motto was ‘My Way’. For me, the motto is ‘Her Way’.

Since then I have consciously withdrawn all submissive behaviour from the old style, and started to live a vanilla life, waiting for Her lead to guide me in Her Way.

This year I have even initiated sex once, leading to penetration and orgasm. She expressed shock that I had cum without permission, but I said nothing, allowing Her to lead Her Way – and She chose to drop it.

She has since allowed me to cum in Her after She initiated sex, but on that occasion I did ask if She wanted me to cum in Her.

She has not caned me this year – I have certainly not encouraged Her to, and neither will I.
At times I get the impression She wants a vanilla life. But last night after we had eaten I was watching the news after a busy day, and She was reading Her magazine, She asked/instructed me to go and make Her tea, which I gladly did. (Of course in the old days I would have offered to make Her tea every day at this time or been punished for it).

Then this morning my cock was hard and I pushed against Her and massaged Her tits, when She told me to sleep – meaning ‘leave off the sex’, which I immediately did.

My cock has not been getting as hard this year. The absence of a clear FemDom structure has impeded my libido considerably.

I find it quite confusing at times. There are times I have thought that if She asks me to present myself for the cane then I shall refuse, as we do not live a FemDom life any more, so why should I suffer the cane? But then there are times that I of course miss it, and would be very excited at the idea of Her caning me ‘Her Way’.

My concern would be that She canes me because She thinks She is doing me a favour. That I would not like, as the cane hurts and it does me no favours at all if that pane is not for Her glory.
Interesting new year.

I think it’s just a matter of time before She does cane me, and that will be an interesting turning point. In the meantime I live vanilla and await Her guidance on Her Way.

Tension

I was pleasantly surprised when Mistress ordered me down to lick Her arse while She wanked Herself to orgasm. I was pleased that She was sufficiently comfortable to do this, and delighted in Her wetness.

In due course Mistress got quite carried away and told me to penetrate Her which I gladly did, though telling me not to cum and aught to stop, but cum dribbled out as I pulled out of Her, and She told me to put it back in for another 15 strokes. I fucker Her hard for a while, but my orgasm was messed up and I did not actually cum properly as well.

Next day we had a huge argument about the kids and things have not been the same since. The does seem to happen within 24 hours of an orgasm.

We have nearly made up, but as Mistress observed this morning (after She had to go down and get the laundry to put away) there is a tension in the air over our FemDom ‘thing’ as She called it, which is not working.

What am I to do? I find it stupid to tell Her that I don’t want to play the game if She’s not serious about it – I’m not playing a game – to me it is real, so how can I be asked to set the rules for a game where She is the boss and I the slave? I’m not going to invite Her to start punishing me again – that must be Her choice. I will just be polite, kind, helpful and submissive. It’s up to Her how She chooses to respond.

Sydney guy

One of my readers was kind enough to share his fantasy with me:

Luv looking at the pics. Like to think of your wife lying on your bed with her legs wide. You shave her pussy for her, as I watch, sitting in in a chair naked. You the rub oil over her pussy for, you see her glisten. She then smiles and asks me if I am ready. Here boy. embarrassed in front of your wife you come over and suck me, begging me to please your wife because you can't. I stand and walk over and get on the bed. your wife has you run my cock up an down her slit as she almost cums immediately. you then push my cock into her, I fuck her hard as you watch. your wife cums and again and again as you lie beside us playing with your cock. I pull out and spray my cum all over your slut face. Your wife and I laugh at you as we hold each other.

My response…..

Hmmm. My cock got hard at the idea of that!

I would kneel in front of you as you stood from your chair, and lower my mouth onto your cock to lick and suck it to make it hard, ready for the two of you to enjoy.

Once you have cum I would immediately go down on you, unasked, and lick and suck you both clean until told to stop.

Some times you would get hard as I suck you clean, and you would continue to cuddle her and play with Her tits and arse as you allow me to make you cum in my mouth before you kick me off the bed and lie back to sleep together.

It continues

It was another night and morning of not having a hard cock to rub against Mistress last night. And the cleaner is in today, so it was not for fear of strokes, but must have been for the change in our relationship.

I offered my oral services this morning none the less, and She invited me to lick Her pussy.
I did not dare not offer, least She punish me for it as well.

Thanks to the guys for comment and advice on my last post.

I've never liked the idea a 'play scene' and have always advocated full submission - as I thought had She. Hence, for example, we've never had a safe word.

If Mistress does choose to cane me tomorrow, Her usual day for it, then I can imagine the thump of the cane will really ring home into me non-erotic state arse.

Confused state of affairs...

The week has been busy and Mistress has still not had time, or the inclination, to punish me. I’m not complaining. I try not to wait in fear but to get on with things – though this is easier said than done!

But our relationship has become a little strained in the past couple of days.

Sunday night as I whispered my submission to Her in bed Mistress asked why I felt that way. I said I just did. (It was only thinking about it afterwards that I thought of Estragon’s various explanations – the presence of my cock and balls, and Her feminine charms is actually my favoured rationale for this strange, otherwise quite inexplicable state of affairs….)

Then on Monday morning, sat in bed having my tea wanking my cock with Mistress’ permission while I watched Her do Pilates I had a little accidental spillage. Certainly not a full orgasm, but a steady little dribble of creamy white liquid. I did not tell Mistress – I did not regard it as a proper orgasm, and did not want to incur Her wrath.

Monday night Mistress was out late and I was home at work at my desk. Mistress chose to go up to bed and instructed me to take Her tea in bed at 9.45. I got immersed in my work and completely forgot until I heard Her coming down at 10pm…

She informed me that I would get ten strokes for not bringing Her tea, on top of the 25 She had decide to give me after my good behaviour over the weekend. She asked me what I thought of that. I replied, rather abruptly, that I was sorry I had forgotten Her tea, but I was completely immersed in work that I’d rather not be doing at ten at night, and if She thought punishment was in order for me then that was of course Her prerogative.

Mistress was not happy with my reply and looked at me puzzled, commenting that I was weird, and kept sending Her mixed signals. I think She wanted me to gladly embrace the prospect of Her whacking my arse with a big, heavy cane, rather than perhaps merely accepting Her decision as it is.

There is obviously a catch 22 here – I welcome Her discipline, punishment and training, only in so far as it makes me a better slave – more like one She wants. I don’t welcome it for any other reason. It hurts and I am only human and will do all I can to avoid the pain!

Since then my cock not been properly hard – fear of pending strokes, not being happy with Mistress, and perhaps the accidental spillage, although that would not account for a soft cock three days later…

This morning my cock was not hard in bed. Being a Wednesday there was to be no cleaning lady in the house and I anticipated that if Mistress was happy I could well be for it. Plus, we were not happily bonding, so my cock stayed soft mostly.

I still offered to lick Her arse or pussy before getting out of bed and She accepted my tongue into Her arse without any hesitation.

It’s all rather confusing. I am not going to encourage Her to cane me because I think it’s a game. If She thinks I need punishment or discipline I will accept Her decision. And, provided the punishment is hard enough and the reasons for it are made clear to me, I will of course learn from the process.

But if She does not believe in Her entitlement and right to cane me, then I’m not going to invite meaningless pain down o myself for the fun of it.

Today

I am going to get my punishment today some time. It is making it difficult to focus on work, as Mistress could come home any time, but at least once its done it will be done and I can start afresh.

Begging for mercy

Full Circle

This morning as I lay in bed naked contemplating the beautiful woman next to me giving me 50 vicious strokes of the cane later today my cock grew hard. This is unusual – normally on a Friday morning I do not get hard, as I am scared of the impending punishment or discipline.

But today the thought of 50 was so scary, so submissive, so domineering, that I actually got hard. I am hard now just thinking about the power and fear of it. So I have come full circle.

As I thought about it I alternated between hard and soft. I am of course due, and do deserve, all 50, as hard as Mistress can lay them on, if She decides that I deserve them, but my! What a prospect.

I decided not to pretend I was up to it, and begged for Her mercy. As I clutched and massaged Her gorgeous boobs, I supplicated myself before Her, swore my eternal submission, and begged for any opportunity to do anything, not mater how humiliating or degrading, to prove Her superiority to me and my inferiority to Her and so avoid the punishment.

Mistress has a busy day planned today. A coffee morning, then some work, then a waxing. Life’s hard at the top. She decided She would struggle to fit in my caning as well, and so decided She will administer it on Monday. Until then She has most graciously given me the opportunity to demonstrate my submission and service to her. If I serve Her proactively and well enough, at Her sole discretion, then She has said She will only give me 25 and not the full 50 I am due.

She is generous in Her mercy, and so wise. My service to Her is already so much better since She pronounced the punishment, it would be wrong not to administer at least some of it, to make sure I am quite aware of Her power over me, and the need to serve Her better. I am grateful for Her wisdom and mercy, and shall scheme my way into serving Her to the uttermost through the weekend and into the future.

Of course it occurs to me, indeed I do hope, that in raising the bar through the weekend, I establish a new standard of service that She then insists I maintain – my submission and Her dominance growing stronger.

Text exchange

slave to Mistress, Cock big and hard, 9:58am: Hello Mistress. Your slave does not want to encourage (or discourage) You in any way, but Your cock is big and hard thinking that you might actually give Your slave 50 punishment strokes. Thank You for Your mercy Mistress.

Mistress to slave, 10:23am: Don't thank me for mercy....u won't be getting any come sometime 2morrow morning ! xx

Overdue - nail bighting

Mistress has enjoyed orgasms and arse licking and is in a good mood. I on the other hand remain terrified and it is affecting my every day life.

I apologised to Mistress for this, telling Her that I lived in constant fear of Her promise of 50 strokes of the cane, and that it was affecting my every waking moment. She was delighted.

I asked if She still planned to actually go through with it, and She confirmed that She most certainly was going to go through with it, but just had not had the time or opportunity, but that I will be getting all 50 of them.

I was out in London yesterday all day. When I got home the dish washer was still full, the laundry sill on the line ready to come down, the ironing was waiting to be put away, Mistress had left Her boots out to be polished, and Her hand washing was sat there needing doing.

As soon as I walked in I scurried around doing all those jobs before I even sat down. Mistress on the other hand sat with the kids and read Her magazine.

I did not dare leave any of these jobs to this morning because I know Her – She will award me additional punishment if She chooses to, and will apply them all on the same day. The thought of 50 strokes pounding into my arse is terrifying – 25 more would make me flip.

Tingle

My arse is still tingling from the canes I got weeks ago. This new cane is far more effecient than the only one.

My cock too is tingling at the thought of when Mistress will choose to use it again and to what end.

Talking

After our brief IM chat yesterday I had hoped that Mistress might elaborate on Her thinking during the evening, but She did not bring it up, and so neither did I (I don’t want to encourage Her to cane me). We did actually go out last night, so there wasn’t much time to talk.

My cock actually gets hard at the thought of what She said. The thought that She really will, literally, whip me into shape – mould me into Her desire. God that would be so disgustingly selfish of Her. I love it. And it is so right. It is so what I want.

My cock is getting hard now just thinking about it. The thought that next time we have weekend guests or plans I will literally be running around full of fear, making sure the laundry is done properly and put away immediately, or I will be caned severely for it is soooo horny.

I am determined that I will not encourage Mistress to cane me at all. But I must report my hard ons to Her, and so have reported to Her that this memory has made me hard. Oh my goodness. The thought that She has decided to be stricter Herself, and will actually carry it through fills me with fear, excitement and dread – but makes my cock hard! I must be mad!

Needless to say I did all the laundry very efficiently yesterday, and put it all away before Mistress got home. She must have noticed.

What's that about?

Mistress Wife says:
hello u slave boy
Mistress Wife says:
wanted to quickly say that I am sorry I've been grouchy lately and instead of being grouchy with you when things are not right. I'll just have to train you better
Mistress Wife says:
I'll crack my whip and be a tougher mistress
Sub Hubby says:
Hmmm
Mistress Wife says:
what do you mean hmmmmm?
Sub Hubby says:
Well, I would say Thank You Mistress, but why say that to someone who is promising to thrash you?
Mistress Wife says:
thank me as it will make you a better slave so less thrashing in future
Mistress Wife says:
gotta run anyway, so talk later xx
Sub Hubby says:
Yes Mistress. Enjoy. Bye. xx

Queening it

Mistress had a pedicure yesterday, so did not get home in time to deal with me. So my arse stays soft another day – but I don’t like this waiting. I’d prefer to get it over and done with.

I think She is revelling in the power. Last night She was sat on the chaise lounge having just eaten and as I cleared away Her plate She told me to pass Her the magazines under the coffee table so She could browse them while I made Her tea and tidied up. Needless to say I did just that. Isn’t She the lucky one!

This morning Mistress did not let me lick Her arse, so our day started without the usual balance that reassures me. Maybe She will let me eat Her tonight.

The fear is here

On Thursday morning as we lay in bed Mistress drew my hard cock forward into Her! I was shocked! Delighted! I did my best to do as She said and not cum, freezing as I approached the edge, but I think I dribbled a few times. She then told me to bang hard into Her until I came, but by then my cock was too mixed up, and I was able to bang, but not to cum. How frustrating! A month since my last orgasm.

This weekend we had a house guest, which interfered with my usual laundry and dishes cycle. Mistress was furious and has sentenced me to 25 strokes for not doing the laundry properly, and 25 for not doing the dishes. We spoke about it this morning again and She is genuinely cross. The fear I wanted is here – I am terrified She is going to literally bust my ass! The fear is here and I don’t like it.

She had me eat Her to orgasm last night. This morning I offered to eat Her before I got out of bed. Often She does not allow me if She has cum the night before but this morning She did allow me to lick her tender, smooth arse. I did so as well as I could, hoping to attract some smidgen of mercy.

Mistress will be back from the gym soon. I will be surprised to sleep without a bleeding arse today.