Discipline

It's Sunday today.

According to the new rules I am to present myself for a disciplinary receipt of 15 strokes of the cane when we go up to bed.

I think She may be looking forward to it... I wonder. Maybe She'll let me off? I doubt it though.


I'll let you know tomorrow.

Double David Day

Friday morning Mistress kindly wanks me in bed – until I cum!

I lay there and thanked Her throughout the process – “Ahhhgn! That feels sooo good! Thank You. Gooood, that feels good!” What a wimpy arse I am. Why didn’t I just shut up? Anyway, She was good enough to keep going until I came!

Friday evening Mistress came home and sat on the bathroom stool to chat to me while I soaked in the bath.

She rarely does this. In fact, as a rule, She only does it when She’s got a “David confession” to make…

So she chats lightly for a little while, then the truths begin to emerge.

She went for a posh lunch out with this guy in Her office that wants to screw Her – a married guy called David (Let’s call him ‘Dave’ and Her established boyfriend ‘David’ – then we’ll know who we’re talking about). She wants to screw him too. They went to Her favourite restaurant. He paid. 12:30 to 3:15. That’s quite a lunch.

I smile and listen and chat to Her – suppressing any jealousy while She tells me about lunch. The way She tells it, they did no flirting at all – they just talked about work.

Yeah. If course. From 12:30 to 3:15 and all they talked about was work and not shagging each other.

It gets more interesting. When She got back to the office, She decided to text Her other David to see if She can provoke a response out of him.

David recently moved in to live with his girlfriend, and moved a few miles out of town – so he is not around as much, and neither does he have a bachelor pad to take Her back to – so they are not seeing as much of each other.

Interesting that a working lunch with Dave makes Her want to screw David…

I chuckle and listen and hide any jealous worries.

David never replied. He often doesn’t – but he could be abroad on holiday or anything for all She knows.

She claims She’s had enough of David. Because he didn’t reply! But She texted him! I don’t understand it.

Anyway. That was Friday. Today is Saturday and we’re going to watch a movie. ‘It’s Complicated’. A chick flick. Then we’ll got for drinks at the bar She usually meets David at. Let’s hope he’s not there and She doesn’t send me home alone….

Alpha Male

I am obsessed by blowjobs. How come She jumps on David’s cock and sucks it as much as She can? Why does She not choose to suck my cock? Why, in fact, does She refuse to suck my cock?

I could ask the same thing of anal sex, but of course I know my cock is huge, and would hurt more than his – but She has chosen to take mine many times.

Over years I drifted away from these activities, out of respect for Her. Now She gets them elsewhere and I am obsessed by it.

But when She told me to take them freely, I didn’t. I couldn’t. I felt too disrespectful.

But I want to… But I can’t.

Jeez.

New Rules

Yesterday Mistress presented me with these new rules. I am to signa and return them to Her today, and then live by them.

LOVING MISTRESS' FEMALE DOMINATION CONTRACT

RULES

• You will say “yes sweetie” every time I ask you do something, in private or in public.

• You must say “excuse me mistress” in private, before you disagree with me about anything and always ask permission to air your view.

• If we are in public and you wish to disagree with anything, you MUST start by saying....”with due respect”..............and you MUST remain polite and respectful the entire time!

• You will NOT be rude or patronising to me under ANY circumstances, in private or public.

• You will not raise your voice at me or get angry and cross with me under any circumstances. You will calmly let me know what exactly you are unhappy about.

• You will immediately let me know anything I have done that you are unhappy with; anything that leads me to think you have been harbouring issues will lead to punishment.

• If I am unhappy with you in public I will use the word “silly” and that means that I am unhappy and you are out of line & you will be punished.

• If you want to know where I am or what I am doing ask respectfully!

• If I have to make my tea / breakfast on any morning = punishment, unless you have cleared it with me in advance & I think it is a valid reason.

• If I say to you “this is the last time I am asking you to get up & go make tea”, means that if I tell you one more time to get up and make tea, you will be punished.

• You can initiate sex if you wish, but always ask permission to do so.

• You will not make any alpha male sexual references like screwing me in the arse etc. You will only screw me in the arse once a year, on your birthday, if I think you deserve it! – That is, if you have earned less than an average of 1.5 punishments per month. You will have the punishment record so we can check. The rest of the time, the only interaction between you and my arse is when you lick it.

• You will get a blow job once a month if I feel you have earned it the month before - that is, no more than 1 punishment the month before.

• You will do chores at home when you are around...like doing the laundry and unloading the dishwasher. It should not interfere with your work...you do it when you take a break from working. If you are unable to do it, you must let me know before I find it not done and have to do it myself.

• Any time you displease me and I say to you “I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT....” I want a WRITTEN APOLOGY WITHIN 24 HOURS, or you will be punished.

• You will always ensure your breath is fresh at ALL times – punishable offence if not.

• You will keep your pubes and face freshly shaved all the time.

• You will NOT play golf MID WEEK UNTIL you start making decent money and UNTIL I say it is ok to do so.

• You will ask permission and check with me first before you arrange any golf games.

• You will not show any signs if DESTRUCTIVE jealously if and when I choose to cuckold you.

• You will NOT compare yourself to any other person (if any) that I chose to fuck!

• In dealing with the issue that I am (if that is the case) screwing someone else, you will never refer to the kind of sex we used to have. That time is gone and we are new people enjoying a different life together – we have moved on – live with it happily!

• You will NOT be entitled to know what I do sexually with anyone else, unless I choose to tell you.

• You will do or not do anything else that you think is fitting of a submissive husband to please / serve his wife.

PUNISHMENT
• This will be in the form of strokes or any other form that I chose, for example, denial of sex.

• You will keep a record if all the punishments owed. There will be extra punishment for any omissions.

• You will present yourself for punishment (and let me know you are doing so) on the day the punishment is earned or the next appropriate day, immediately after we put the kids to bed.

• You will not make noises loud enough to wake the children – if loud; I will double the amount at the time of giving the said punishment.

• You will NOT try to talk or argue yourself out of punishment.

DISCIPLINE

• 15 strokes.

• They will be given once a week on a Sunday night – when we go to bed. They are therefore, not to be given at the same time as any punishment.

Signed: .............................................

[Sub Hubby]
25 Jan 2010

Upon discussion She clarrified that the 'alpha male' sexual references I am not allowed to make include any and all alpha male type stuff - specifically this means I am not allowed to talk about Her giving me a blowjob, but generally it means I am not to make any alpha male sexual referrences.

Kinky!

Kinky Blogga, since you ask so nicely, here's one of us just before She went down on my in the post you commented on.

Sorry I've had to edit it, but you know...

More humiliation

A couple of days ago we had a huge row - over money! – we don’t often argue about money.

Mistress wanted to buy Herself a new coat. I suggested that that might not be a priority right now, and she told me it was my fault we don’t have enough (I’m in the process of starting a new business, and not earning any income from it yet).

I hit back, saying that actually it was Her fault, because we live in this huge expensive house that She chose to buy.

She said that if I felt like that I should not have bought it… but that I had done so ‘because she was my Queen and so I did it for my Queen’ in a very mimicky voice – which is true – I agreed to buy it for Her, not because I wanted it.

I resented the way She accused me of being a stupid submissive and agreeing to buy the house for Her. This took me immediately back to the “reluctant FemDom, enthusiastic fucker” that I think She is – She has never been as keen to advance FemDom as She is to advance her extra marital sex…

So I was mega pissed off and sulked for about 48 hours. I resolved to never submit to Her again. Never eat Her pussy. Never lick Her arse. Never!

Then last night in bed She asked me to play with Her pussy, which I did. While I played She did Her trick of asking me what I was thinking and of course I told Her – that I was thinking how badly She had treated me and how cross I was, and that I would never eat Her pussy again, but here I was, just about to go down on it even though She never went down on me. In due course we were fucking and I quickly came. She told me to go down and eat Her clean and to orgasm which I did.

The humiliation is too much. She treats me like shit, never sucks my cock and then has me go down on Her. And I do it. Why am I so week for Her?

This morning, just to confirm my submission I offered to eat Her arse before we got out of bed – She gladly agreed and I penetrated Her lovingly with my tongue before going to make tea.

Who are you?

About 700 people visited this blog over the weekend. If you click on the map at the bottom of the page, and then scroll down to the bottom of that page, you can see where in the world the last 100 or so visitors came from.

I find it fascinating. Most of you come from the USA. But there's plenty more from all over the world. There are some closer to me, in the UK.

Who are you all? Men? Women? Why are you here? Do you live FemDom lives? Do you know what Femdom is? Do you visit me regularly? Or is this a one off?

Please feel free top leave a comment so we can understand a bit more about who we all are that pass through this place - and please fill in today's survey.

See you again soon!

Oral Sex

On Sunday morning I woke up horny (nothing unusual about that!) and tinkered with my cock a bit in bed.

I asked Mistress if She minded me playing with it a bit, and She said it was fine to go ahead so I rubbed and dreamed.

While I tinkered I was imagining how good it would feel if She rolled over towards me in the bed and either took over playing with it, or, even better, took it into Her mouth – yowser! That would be good.

But She didn’t.

I told Her I that these were my thoughts, and She said ‘in your dreams – I’m not giving you a blowjob’, and that was that.

She told me to make myself cum because She wasn’t going to.

I explained to Her that this was so humiliating – I eat Her whenever She wants, many times this year already, but She never eats me. She agreed, and said that’s how it should be, and grinned while I gently wanked.

I really didn’t want to cum under such humiliating conditions, but I was so horny I had do, throwing my spoof onto my chest and having to clean it up with no interaction from Her.

By Sunday night I was still feeling relieved from having cum, but I decided to make my cock hard before She got into bed, because I know that when She feels my hard on She can get horny – especially at night.

Sure enough She did, and told me to go down on Her. I commented again at the injustice and humiliation of constantly going down on Her even though She does not go down on me.

But I did it, eating Her to glorious orgasm, before She let me put it in Her and cum again.

I am privileged, lucky and grateful to have sex with Her at all – but it is humiliating, especially when She always blows anyone else She is in bed with.

This picture with this blog was taken a few years ago, when She used to give me blow jobs just about every time we had sex…

Sex

Last night in bed Mistress told me to play with Her pussy. I deliberately use the word ‘told’. She did not ask me if I want to, nor suggest that I do. ‘Play with my pussy!’ She said, and I did. Gladly.

It lead to great sex. Not sexual athleticism a-la-David, but great sex non the less.

I loved that She initiated it. I basked in the pleasure that She wanted it.

As we screwed I expected Her to ask what I was thinking – She usually does this. But this time She did not. I resisted the urge to tell Her what I was thinking anyway, as I did not want to impose on Her.

She pulled out Her butterfly and used that on Her clit while I was deep in Her. I love it when She has the self assurance to pull that out while we fuck – it indicates that She is comfortable with where She is.

Crossed Wires

Things are good, but not perfect. I am confused. I’ll tell you why.

Do I want to, or does She want me to?

Yesterday morning I offered to lick Mistress’ arse before getting out of bed to make Her tea. I used to ask if She’ like me to lick Her arse or pussy, but 99% of the time She chooses arse, so I just offered that, and She immediately said yes, She would like me to.

A few seconds later, when I had not gone down on Her yet, She said ‘If you want to lick my arse then you better do it now, because it’s time to get up’.

I’m afraid I didn’t take this lying down (no pun intended). I replied that I didn’t want to lick Her arse, but would be pleased to do so only if She wanted me to. She confirmed She did, and so I did.

So why did She say ‘if I want to do it’? Did She or did She not want me to do it? I don’t get it. She says She did… Maybe I’m over analysing the situation…

The offer

This year I have offered to lick Her arse more often again – She always says yes, so I figure She likes it. It is obviously a submissive and loving thing to do for/to Her, and I want to submit and show my love to Her, so I offer Her this pleasure.

But I’m tempted not to offer it again – if She thinks She’s doing me a favour ‘allowing’ me to do it then I don’t want to do it.

Why does She allow this confusion into my/our lives?

Wanking

Yesterday I had a wank. I don’t often do this, as I like to leave my orgasm for Her choosing. But since I don’t understand what She wants, and I new what I wanted (– a good wank!) I did it, and had a HUGE orgasm – it was great!

FemDom

Mistress has not mentioned the re-introduction of FemDom (as defined in my earlier blogpost). I’m not going to bring it up – because I’m happy as we are, and I don’t want to push the issue – if She wants it then I want it, but if She does not want it then I’m not taking us there.

When She wants something (eg to shag David!) then She is not backward about coming forward – so either She does not want this, or She has some thoughts going on that I’m not aware of – and I’m not going to ask.

So we are happy, but I’m a little confused. I’m not letting it trouble me. I have resolved to accept Her love with respect and return it fully, basking in it and not imaging problems where She does not tell me there is a problem…

Second Thoughts

I found this story on Literotica.

It is incredible - it mirrors our circumstances and inner thoughts so closely.

I spoke to Mistress about it and we both agreed that the author must have lived through this experience - there are just too many truths in here.

The only difference is that I am a big black cuckold with an enourmous cock - and She is actually loving it with a smaller, white guy who uses his cock better!

Have a read, and think about it before you lead your Wife down this route!

Comfortable Stand Off

Things are in a comfortable stand off at the moment, and have been so through the Christmas and New Year period.

I spoke to Mistress about my view – that I was not comfortable living the cuckold lifestyle outside of a FemDom relationship. She responded that She felt we were living a FemDom relationship, in a FemDom style of Her choosing.

I accepted that I was living in a submissive relationship to Her, but not in a FemDom relationship – and on questioning defined a FemDom relationship as having the following 4 elements, all of which have once been present in our relationship, but none of which are currently present in our relationship having all been removed at Her instigation:-

1) Rules that the submissive must live by.

2) Punishment for breaking the rules.

3) Discipline to affirm the submissive relationship, and

4) A clear hierarchy of Dominant and submissive.

I explained that I was very happy that She had chosen to lead our lifestyle away from those elements, and that I was not complaining about that nor asking for them back, but I was just uncomfortable with Her removing all those elements, and only retaining the cuckolding element, with which it was all gain for Her, with nothing in it for me.

We discussed this and She accepted it all.

But after a day or too She brooded over it and became upset with it – arguing I’d moved the goalposts on our 15 year relationship, throughout which I’d encouraged Her to go with other guys which I was now going back on just as She was getting comfortable with it and enjoying it for the first time.

We debated this – pleasantly and rather vociferously at times.

She concluded that Her preferred lifestyle was a proper cuckold FemDom relationship with all 4 elements that She would re-introduce.

As you can imagine, I’m obviously thinking that the only reason She wants to do that is to ‘buy’ Her freedom to cuckold….. So it’s a tricky balance.

Anyway, She’s worked this out, and so far has not made any moves wither way. We’re getting on fine without clarifying things further for now, so we’ll settle someplace some day soon, for a while…

This weekend I woke up with a hard on and starting gently wanking as I cuddled Her. I whispered to Her that I would like to cum, and asked if She was happy for me to cum. She turned and cupped my balls in Her hand, saying I could cum if I wanted to.

I wanked gently.

I said to Her that I’d actually prefer to cum under Her hand, or in Her mouth, or over Her tits, but only if She wanted me to – and I’d be happy to just wank otherwise. But, I explained, the ‘just wanking’ was very humiliating to me.
She chose the humiliating route, and told me to go ahead and wank – so I did.

Next day (yesterday) as we got into bed, She told me to go down on Her, which I did, eating Her to orgasm.

So She gets to enjoy oral sex whenever She wants, including me eating Her arse, and I get the humiliation of wanking myself….

After She came She invited me to screw Her which I did – I gently spooned into Her from behind and had a great fuck. But the whole experience was very humiliating.

But I think we’re both happy in this uneasy truce.

I have resolved to do my utmost to just be happy, enjoy life, and support whatever decision She makes in a genuinely happy way- provided I can actually do that.

More action?!

So last night Mistress went off for Her final office party. I was in a pretty bad mood as She got ready to go, because She was talking about another David (this one’s called Dave) that has been hitting on Her and that She’s clearly interested in. Watching Her get all dressed up to go out and perhaps end the night screwing him got me a bit wound up.

I went out for some beers with some buddies of mine, and we both got back home at the same time – about 1am.

I was relieved to see Her home – at least She was not off shagging Dave or Chris (the guy from last week).

She tells me though that Dave was hitting on Her hard, and that She agreed to screw him, but at another place and time… He was emailing and hitting on Her from his Blackberry after the party – hoping they could go off together and have their wicked way.

Today She’s all excited about every contact She’s having with him – She’s clearly turned on at the thought of fucking him.

I’m finding it a bit weary – now that we’re not living such a FemDom life - and that was the justification for Her screwing David in the first place – I’m not too keen on the idea of Her screwing around. If I’m not Her submissive then why would I be happy for Her to have other guys?

I can’t decide whether to talk to Her about it or not. The fact of the matter is I don’t fuck Her as well as David did (or does? I don’t know), so She wants to find it elsewhere – is it fair for me to stop Her? Probably not…I should let Her just get on with it and enjoy Her sexual vitality as much as She can – but I’m kind of feeling that 2010 should be the year of rededication to each other…

Someone else…

Mistress didn’t hear from David Friday, even though he had said he’d be in touch. The man has no manners, just great cock action (apparently).

Anyway, Mistress decided instead to have one of the young men from work – some guy 10 years younger than her that has been pining after Her. She brought him home (here!) at 4 am and shagged him in the family room for 2 hours!

When he left She came up to bed and said he was the lousiest shag she’d ever had – small cock that never got hard and he didn’t cum… Longest lousy fuck I’ve ever heard of!

But she says She is ‘mortified’ that She did it. She did have a hangover for 2 days, so She might not have been all there when She did….

She says She’s cured of other men and doesn’t want any side action again! Interesting claim, because today is another office party night and they will both be there together –interesting to see if he dares to hit on Her again.

Apparently as he left last time She told him that if he’s going to screw Her again then he’ll need to grow a bigger cock that get’s harder! Ouch! I don’t think he’ll try again, but we shall see!

Meantime life is great and we are happy. We screw so much I can't even get hard when I'm not in bed with Her these days...

Waiting game.

I hate this waiting game. She's out having fun. I've not heard from Her in 3 hours. Experience tells me that means She's talking to him (on text). Will She meet him or will She not? Has She met him or has She not? Or will She come back to me?

I don't like it - I'd actually be happier if She never saw him again. But I know She likes meeting him so I won't ask Her not to.

But I don't like it.

So many changes!

Mistress texted David a few days ago. After some discussion She settled on ‘Fancy a Shag? X’.

He replied…saying he did but it would be difficult as he’s moved to a new neighbourhood and is now living with his girlfriend! So getting away would be tricky, and of course he’s not got his own place any more!

Well, Mistress was surprised. But She suggested to him they meet up this Friday (today) after Her office party, and that he come back here – to which he replied ‘OK. X’.

So She asked me to put a lock on the spare bedroom door, so the kids can’t burst in on them shagging, which I’ve done. So now it just remains to be seen whether they hook up or not. Based on his past record it won’t be until 11pm at least until he raises his head above the parpet, but which time anything could happen…

She was definitely ‘on edge’ this morning – getting dressed to go out knowing She might be meeting him. We shall see.

Golf

I just got off the golf course with my buddy. We were talking and anal sex came up (as it does when guys talk!). He reckons women don’t like anal sex. Certainly my missus doesn’t seem to like it with me much, but She’s never shagged David and NOT taken it up the arse. So if they meet up today, She’ll want it in the arse.

If they don’t meet up today, then I’m going to try for some arse myself and see if I can get it tonite!

Great weekend

We had a great weekend. A good time with the family, then us two went out Saturday night for a movie ('Law Abiding Citizen') which we enjoyed, and then we went out partying and dancing until the wee hours of the morning. Came back and shagged, Slept and shagged. Talked and loved, and then had a great evening with the kids again.

Life is good :)

A little clearer

I'm feeling a little better after unloading my emotions to you all yesterday - it helped me think it through. I'm not 100%, but I am happier.

For years I did not give Mistress the sex I used to. And I encouraged Her to find another lover. When She found one She liked and did the things we used to do it drove me insane with jealousy - I want to be the only one doing those things with Her.

But I don't. I can't. So why fight it - why not accept how lucky I am to have such a loving, beautiful Wife. And why not be glad that She has also managed to find someone who can give Her the good fucking that She needs on ocassion?

Rejoice and celebrate - don't lament what might have been. It has not!

Orgasms

While we talked that night, She told me that She never has an Orgasm with David. Only with me. She said that David knows this, and this upsets him. That’s why he does not approach Her as often as he might – because it hurts him that She only cums for me.

But She gets so wet fucking him that She squirts. She’s never done that for me.

I’m not sure I believe Her.

I’m not sure it matters whether I believe Her or not. The think about being a cuckold is you don’t KNOW what goes on. You just live with it.

Should I feel better that She said this? At the very least it proves Her heart is in the right place.

What I try to do is this: To not show my uncertainty to Her, and to not ask anything of Her other than Her happiness. That’s what I go for.

Injustice and Acceptance

The day after we had the discussion below Mistress gave me a blowjob in the morning. I had placed Her hand on my cock while in bed that morning – so I kind of initiated things.

I didn’t complain – I wanted it! But I did feel odd as She did it. Was She doing it because I ‘complained’ I was not getting enough? Did She do it to bolster my confidence? Or did She doing it because She wanted to? Could I ever know the answer to that question?

I conclude, even though I do not want to, that it is unsatisfactory me asking for or initiating sex that is for my benefit.

But She tells me She wants me to.

But She also tells me She would not be comfortable going to back to the place we once lived where I did that…

On my last birthday, as a birthday present She gave me anal sex – just to prove that She could give Her arse to me, and not only to David. I LOVED it! Because She chose and gave me the present – I didn’t ask or demand it – so I loved it as a gift from Her.

This cuckold stuff puts one in a very awkward place.

I feel that I would prefer to live a life of accepting that She shags David when She wants a real shag, and shags me when She wants to. Then I’d know where I stood.