Eating pussy in the garden

Yesterday Mistress took the day of work and stayed at home. I was sexually tense all day, wanting to do something, but not wanting to impose my horniness on Her.

In the afternoon, lying in the sun She told me to eat Her pussy. I pulled off Her jeans and ate for some time. After She came She had me kneel up and fuck Her. As I did She asked me to tell Her something kinky, and I confessed that I had been thinking about how Torremolinos would cum over Her tits, face and hair, but I would not because She would not allow me. 

She laughed and said its not that She would not allow me, its that I wouldn’t know how to. Obviously I came hugely as She said this.

FemDom conflict

Since the outset, our FemDom relationship has never been as ‘deep’ as I would have liked it. And it has been pretty deep.

I would like Mistress to:-

1) Put Herself before me all the time every time. Only ever do what She wants without ever thinking about what I want – unless of course She chooses to think about what I want and put that first.

2) Dominate, humiliate and punish me. Go out of Her way to reinforce my submissive role in our relationship. Deprive me of things I like. Take joy in my pain and humiliation. See how low She can put me down. Mentally and physically.

On the day I first introduced FemDom to our relationship, I explained to Mistress that I would like Her to pee on me and make me drink Her piss, as a humiliating act. She burst out laughing and lead me to the bathroom where she had me lie on the tiled floor, crouched and filled my mouth with piss, laughing all the time.

I was ecstatic, and saw that as the beginning of a true FemDom relationship. But She’s never really built on it. And more recently has chosen to end the FemDom aspect of our relationship – She no longer gives me any orders, never punishes me. Never humiliates me – other than by Her cuckolding which She does because She loves the sex.

I read every page of Elise Sutton’s website before I even introduced Mistress to FemDom. As soon as She wrote her first book I immediately bought it - and there you have it; it was I that bought the book, not Her – She’s never really read it.

She read a bit of the book – enough to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. And She used to choose to inflict both upon me, for many years. But no more.

The only time She truly dominates me is when She cuckolds me, and allows the other man to use all three holes. Then She allows me to put my tongue in Her arse, but never my cock. That is real FemDom and I love it.

I appreciate that I submit to Her, so I respect all Her choices and I accept them. But if I had a choice, I would choose a more FemDom relationship.

Others understand me – the artist Sardax clearly understands me – look at the extreme’s he illustrates. And Elise Sutton understands me too. Blogger.com is riddled with submissive men like me that wish they were in a more FemDom relationship. Why?

I tell myself I am lucky to have my lovely Wife. And I am. I know it. But I wish She loved FemDom as much as me!

Cuckold cleavage

My cock is still tingling and limp today. When Torremolinos and Mistress were talking yesterday, the thought of Her going round there for brutal sex got me so hard it was like an iron bar. Even though I was in the house on my own, I groaned so loud when I came, I thought someone might hear me! My cock has not fully recovered since!

This morning Mistress went to work with quite a bit of cleavage showing. I got Her to let me take a picture before She left the house. This is Her gorgeous cleavage, which I suck gently, and Torremolinos cums all over…

(Click on the image to enlarge)

All three holes

Mistress texted me this morning. Torremolinos has just been in touch. He’s about to go to Greece for three weeks and wanted to fuck Her today before he left. Sadly She can’t make the time today, but of course She is delighted that he’s still interested – this woman was made to fuck!

So they exchanged messages and he promised to get in touch when he gets back.

If She’d been able to find the time She’d have gone round there today and he’d have pounded all three holes as he does. Her arse would have been hanging loose for me next time I tongue it.
The thought got me so hard I had to wank myself off.

I wonder if I’ll ever get in Her arse or mouth again? I’m hard now thinking about it.

Eating pussy

Last week Mistress upset me. Nothing too severe, but She just pissed me off a number of times in the same day and I got sick of it. So we’ve not been very intimate for a few days.

But then last night She wanted sex, so She asked me to go down on Her. And like a pussy, I went down and ate pussy. You’d have thought that because She’d done me wrong, She might make up by giving me a blow job, but no, it was I that went down on Her.

As always, I enjoyed it.

Before She came She told me to come up and fuck Her, and made me tell Her kinky thoughts while I fucked Her and She used Her pocket rocket to cum. Lovely.

Wank material

Mistress went to work in this lovely back maxi dress today.  The curve falling round Her arse cheeks was a delight to behold.  I didn’t think my iPhone camera would do a good job of capturing it, but it’s not bad, is it?

Her arse, even if I do say so myself, is perfect. Small, round and pointy-outy.  In this dress, with tiny thong knockers that do not show, She looks divine.

As I said to Her, I would have loved to lift Her dress and eat Her pussy.  I’d have loved to fuck Her too – but I wanted to eat Her pussy.  Others more manly would have just wanted to fuck Her.  I guess that’s me!  We’re happy though!

Not many of you have taken my poll.  What do you think? Should She tell Dave that I know that he knows?  Vote now. The poll is closing soon.

Emotional relationships

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Guilty?

At midday yesterday Mistress chatted to me briefly. We use WhatsApp to chat on our iPhones – it’s free to message, and works cross platform.


“Hello you. How’s it going? Xx”

“Dave is wanking. What are you up to?”

I replied, “xx. Nothing that pleasant… I always keep what I have for you :).”

“Good boy,” She said. “That’s the way I love it.”

The conversation ended.

I wondered at it – why did She text me just to tell me Dave was wanking? She doesn’t usually do that. I figured She was feeling a little guilty about it.
 

When She got in that evening I was presented with this box of chocolates. As fine a box as I have ever seen. I like chocolates, but I don’t usually get given a box this fine. Definitely feeling guilty, I figured.


This morning in bed She reached across for my cock and wanked it a bit. AS She did, She explained the reasons why She never sucks my cock because She feels:-

• It is a dominant thing to do.

• When She used to do it, I didn’t like it.

• It makes me horny when She doesn’t suck my cock and She sucks someone else’s. And She likes it when I’m horny.

However, She said, I get ‘all depressed and funny about it’ and then She feels She should suck it for me – because She doesn’t want be depressed and funny.

I asked what She meant by ‘depressed and funny’, and She said like when I ask Her to suck it and try to push Her head down onto my cock – why do I do that?

I tried explaining it to Her. I want Her to do what She wants. If She doesn’t want to suck my cock, then don’t. If She does want to, then do. All I care is that She does only what She wants.

“But then why act funny?” She asked.

What do I feel?

I’d like one of two things:

1) A FemDom cuckold relationship, where She does not want to suck my cock because it is a submissive cock which She will not suck under any circumstances. Instead, She gets to suck the cocks of alpha males who are not submissive to Her. Or

2) A ‘normal’ (!) ‘open’ relationship where She sucks other cocks if She wants, but sucks mine too. When She wants to. If She ever wants to.

To me the key question is this: Does She or does She not want to suck my cock? If She wants to, then great. I cannot think of anyone I’d rather do that to me, and I will feel privileged to be sucked. But if She does not want to, then I want Her to state unequivocally that She does not want to and so will not. What I don’t like is the grey middle ground; ‘I’d be happy to suck your cock if you want me to, but I won’t suck it anyway.

If She WANTS to suck my cock, then She can just suck it. She WANTS to suck Dave’s cock and Torremolinos’ cock so She does. Does She want to suck mine or not?

It’s not an easy question.

Terremolinos (and my obsession with anal sex)

Mistresses latest lover is a Greek. His name starts with a ‘T’, and is complicated, so we call him ‘Torremolinos’ after a place we enjoyed visiting. Torremolinos is actually on the Costa del Sol in Spain, but hey, that’s just a detail! We call the guy Torremolinos.


So after Mistress first met him, detailed in an earlier post, he got in touch and invited Her round again so She went one evening.

He took Her to the bedroom and gave Her a brutal one hour fucking, again using all three holes – Her mouth, pussy and arse. Eventually She told him She had to leave and so he finally came, wanking all over Her face, tits and hair. She had to shower before She could leave.

I have licked Her arse a few times since, and it has still not closed up properly. It is loose and my tongue can penetrate it deeply and easily. It feels just right to take my own cock, but when I ask for this She says no, and when I try to just take it She says no.

She tells me that real men don’t ask, they just take it. She says that if any man asks a lady ‘Please can I fuck your arse?’ the answer will always be a no. But of course I don’t want to force myself on Her, I want Her to agree, but She won’t. So I just get to tongue it and wish for it.

Torremolinos has not been in touch for nearly a week now. I asked if She was not planning to sext him and get more from him. She claimed She would not start it – he’s a selfish lover and She’s not going to chase him. She might go back if he invites Her, but She’s not going to ask.

My prediction? He will ask again soon. She’ll go back, and he will bang all three holes again.

The picture is of Mistress in Torremolinos marina. Actually taken on the same day as my main profile pic.

The other pic is of Her arse, presented. No wonder I want it!

Telling him I know

Mistress had another date with Dave last week, when they went up to London together to their favourite pub.

They sank a good few glasses of wine, and played with each other in the pub. She undid Her bodysuit to give him access to her pussy, and She unzipped and played with him. They actually got thrown out of the pub, because they thought it was quiet enough in there for him to go down on Her, but they were seen and evicted, so had to move on to another pub (and carry on there!)

They stopped in a dark alley and had sex in there, and later She sucked him off in the back of the cab, and he came in Her mouth.

On the date they talked about their relationship – She told him She was tired of all the sex talk and wanted more direct action and fucking – which he never seems to come through on (no pun intended). He said this was because he was worried about the emotional aspects of getting close, but they both ended up agreeing that they want to get closer, are both happily married and not threatening their marriages, and would start fucking more… We shall see.

At one point he asked Her if I knew about them or suspected anything – She said no, I did not.

We’ve talked about this, and agreed it would be so hot for Her to tell him that I do know, and that I am a cuckold submissive.

We bump into him at our local pub from time to time, and I said to Her I would find it sooo humiliating to meeting him, with him knowing that I know…

Last night She told me to go down on Her and eat Her pussy. After a little while She told me to come up and put my dick in before going back down on Her again, which I gladly did.

As I put it in She asked me what I was thinking and I said I was thinking how unfair and dominant it was for Her to demand and expect oral sex of me, when She never goes down on me even though She knows I am desperate for Her to.

She agreed, but said She does not suck wimp cocks. She only sucks real men’s cocks. I groaned with agony and sexual excitement as I fucked into Her and listened to this.

“Is your cock a wimp cock or a real man’s cock?” She asked me.

“A wimp cock,” I replied.

“Does it deserve to be sucked?” She asked.

“It doesn’t,” I replied and groaned as I fucked my rock hard rod into Her.

“I love the fact that I suck Dave’s cock and I don’t suck yours,” She said. “That is so horny. I’d love to tell him that I don’t such yours. I am sure he’d love to know that.”

“Imagine if we bumped into him at the pub, and You called me over,” I said, “and asked me in front of him if You sucked my cock, and I had to say ‘no’.” It was too much and I came deep inside Her.

“Go back down and eat your own cum out of me, you wimp.” She said, and I gladly did. She does not get me to eat my cum out of Her enough.

I would love Her to tell him I know. I would love this knowledge to turn him on and make him want to humiliate me.

What do you think? Should She tell him? Take the poll today.

Mobile blogging...

I've just downloaded the iPhone blogging App - to see how easy this makes it to blog on the go. It has no landscape mode, so it's not a very clever app...

Oral, Anal & KY Jelly

On Monday night Mistress told me to go down on Her in Her usual manner. I did so with pleasure.

As I licked at Her pussy and clit as attentive as I could, I thought of Her new Greek lover who fucks Her ruthlessly in Her arse and cunt, intermittently taking his cock out to ram it down Her thought. What a brute.

I contrasted his behaviour with mine, and licked as lovingly as I could. Then I decided on an idea and came up and mounted Mistress. She was shocked. "What are you doing?” She asked.

"I'm doing the opposite of your boyfriend," I replied. "He fucks your pussy and arse and then rams his cock in your mouth. I am going to eat your pussy, then put my cock in it, and then eat your pussy again. That way it's more submissive, more humiliating for me."

She was pretty wet down here while I did it, so the idea must have turned Her on.

I fucked Her missionary style for a little while (Unheard of sexual liberty. We always and only ever fuck with me spooning Her). Soon I returned to eating Her pussy while fingering Her cunt until She came.

As She came I slipped my sodden finger into Her arse. Her arse is normally so hot and tight, I have to ease my finger in gently. But he has loosened it so much with his savage fucking of it that my finger slipped straight in easily, reminding me how thoroughly he must have used it.

I commented to Her about it while I came up to spoon Her and cum in Her pussy in the usual manner of our live making. Wonderful bliss.

This morning I asked if I could eat Her arse before making tea. She allowed me and I went down to lick and penetrate Her arse with my tongue.

Her arse hole was loose on my tongue and I was able to fuck it into Her deeply. I figured 'what the hell. This arse is loose enough for me to fuck. He does it. Why shouldn't I' and so I rose over Her to put it in. She said no, and stopped me. So I didn't.

Later as we dressed She asked me if there was any KY jelly in our toy cupboard, next to me. I checked. There was not.

"I'll buy some today," She said. "You are so obsessed with my arse I have decided I am going to give it to you tonight. You can put on KY jelly and fuck me in the arse."

"I don't want it on that basis," I said. "I don't want it as a concession. I want it because you want me in there, same way you actually want him in there. And he doesn't use KY, so I don't want to. Why should I use lubricant and he doesn't? You either need lubricant or you don't. You can't not need it for him and yet need it for me."

Later I texted Her at work.

"So did you buy the KY jelly?"

"No." she replied. "Coz you said you wanted to do it like he did. I picked it up then put it back down again. Xx"

Needless to say I didn’t take Her arse last night.

New man in her arse...

She met a new man in a night club on Friday night. Very cute, she said. Greek. 33 years old – younger than her (that’s a first).

They didn’t go home together that day, but she went round to see him mid day the following Monday. Then she sent me these texts, 12:53pm. (I’ve added the notes in brackets afterwards. All posts are from her unless prefaced with 'Me').

Hi sweets. Still in his flat. He is having a shower, I’ve had mine & I’m dressed.

Good lord he is a pervert!

I have NEVER been fucked so hard in the arse in my life!

He has such staying power, he puts DM (David from my earlier blogg posts) to shame!

He is a socks guy so he took care of it very well. He didn’t even ask so that’s obviously how he operates. He’s a safety guy!

We’ve had coffee (they went into the kitchen naked and made coffee and drank it naked together) and a bit of a chat so waiting for him to get dressed then we go!

In my car. Off to John Lewis. He wants to see me again. Not sure my arse can take it!

Definitely treated me like a slut!xx Xx

Me: Why a pertvert?

I got to his flat & started snogging. He touched then got to my pussy and was gutted about the Pi’s. Anyway moved on.

He got my top and bra off. Licked my tits, we took our clothes off.

He put condom on and fucked (He only fucked her in the arse).

In between took condom off. Made me deep throat his cock.

Did not allow my hands to control how far he thrust! (He held her hands to one side while he fucked her throat)

I thought he’d burst my throat!

When he was fucking my arse he again did not allow my hands anywhere near to control the deepness! (He held her hands to the side again).

He was brutal!

Xx I can hardly sit on my car seat it hurts so much!

He said next tme he wants to fuck my pussy hard like that!

He kept going for over an hour…went thru 5 condoms.

He finally came by withdrawing from my arse, pulled condom off and came all over my tits, face and hair!

Interesting to see if we hook up again xx

Driving now to John Lewis! Xx (13:18)

Me: I told you he would nail your mouth and arse…

I’m so so sore! Yeah you did. U know his type! Xx

Me: Now he’s loosened it I can have some! Xx

Me: I can start by kissing it better.

Me:Did he eat you?

Xx Yeah. It needs that!

No. He did not eat. Not sure he’s an eater. X

Me: Kiss it. Fix it. Ram it! Xx Hell no!!xx

--------------- She's been round to see him again once since - this time he fucked all three holes for an hour non stop. I've not been in her mouth or arse for longer than I can remember, and I only last 2 minutes when I fuck her.

Confusing Cuckolding Continues

It has been a while since my last update – much has happened in that time, and much has stayed the same.

Since we got back from holiday just over a week ago, Mistress and Dave have been texting each other every day, all through the day. Sometimes they have sex, and sometime – often – they just talk. It is all this talk that I don’t get – they are intimate. Too intimate.

They are due to meet up at a London hotel next week for a fuck, and She’s looking forward to it. They don’t fuck that much – usually they play in his car, and he just gets to cum in Her mouth, so She’s really looking forward to a few hours in a hotel room with him.

Today (Friday) She’s going to go out with Her girlfriend Amanda and another girl. She told me about their plans yesterday. I replied to say that I don’t like it when She goes out with Amanda – She ends up coming home in the wee hours of the morning after fucking other guys, and is hung over and of little use all the next day.

She got a bit upset, and said She won’t fuck anyone else or drink too much – but She’s not happy with that.

Since my last blog post She has never done a performance review for me, nor punished or disciplined me for anything. I continue to serve Her, but there is no FemDom discipline or punishment in our life (and so, I’d argue, no FemDom in our lives – except of course the constant cuckolding with Dave).

I’m not happy with this. I don’t like the cuckolding without the other aspects of FemDom. When I said to Her that She ends up fucking other guys it should have gone like this:-

Her: But of course I end up fucking other guys. You are a submissive wimp who can’t fuck me properly so what do you expect me to do? Go without?

Me: No. I guess You should go out and have fun.

Her: Exactly. Silly boy. And don’t I deserve to party, dance and have fun with my friends?

Me: Yes. Of course You do.

Her: Good. Of course I do. You are completely out of order suggesting otherwise. Before you go to bed tonight I want 1,000 lines ‘Because I am a submissive wimp that is not able to satisfy my Mistress sexually, it is only right that She go out and find other men to fuck Her properly.”

Her: And when we go to bed tonight you are to present yourself for punishment strokes for questioning my right to fuck other men and have fun.

Me: Yes Mistress. Thank You Mistress.

But that’s just my fantasy. No matter how many times I tell Her She just doesn’t get it. I’m thinking of officially putting the boot into the current (non existent) FemDom relationship we have, and ‘normalise’ things – including loosing the cuckolding.

I could get upset…

I could get upset that She’s not been in touch with me – I probably am.

Then a part of me remembers that She chose to put my cock in Her pussy this morning and let me cum in Her, and I wonder what I have to be jealous about. Then I get upset again.

Day out

She’s taken the kids to an amusement park for the day.

She’s not texted or called to say they’ve arrived OK. I’ve not heard from Her at all. But I can see that She’s exchanged three emails with Dave from Her iPhone since She got there, so texting me would have been very easy had She wanted to …

Punishment due

On Saturday we went out, and had a silly argument on the way back. I got very annoyed and rude to Mistress. I have done that a couple of times recently. I think that because of the cuckolding I feel very insecure and less able to take criticism from Her.

This time She has handled it differently, and said She will cane me for my behaviour. I think She is looking forward to giving me probably the hardest caning She has ever done.

This morning when the cleaning lady was here, I commented that if She wanted, we could go upstairs and I could eat Her arse.

“More likely give you the canes you are getting,” She said. She really wants this. My cock is hard with fear.

Viagra poll

Hey! Last day to vote in the Viagra poll. Then I shall act on advice received… Vote now if you haven’t done so already.

No arse today

Mistress did not ask me to lick Her arse this morning. I really wanted to, but I decided not to offer, but to simply be there for Her, and lick it only if She asked – but She didn’t.

This is my dilemma in life – to offer/ask or not to offer.

I think that’s why She likes to have alpha males in Her life – because they don’t hesitate. They take. And She likes that from them.

To submit and to serve

Mistress has not used the review forms or the cane for some time now – apart from some disciplinary strokes about a week ago, 'just to put me in my place'.

I find this intensely frustrating and difficult. After some time of not being told what to do, not being punished for any insubordination, I think to myself: “If I’m not serving Her and submitting to Her,” (read: being punished) “then why aren’t I allowed to fuck Her as well?”

And so we get into the discussions about why She doesn’t wan’t me to fuck Her properly.

I’ve always said to Her, the only basis for being a cuckold submissive is that She is the dominant and I the submissive.

But this time I have tried to be different: I have said to myself “This is how She has chosen to live, so support Her decision. Don’t question it. Live with it. If She chooses not to punish you, but to kiss You instead, then be glad of it. Continue to serve Her.”

So that’s what I’ve tried to do. And by and large its gone reasonably well.

But this morning in bed Mistress said “Lick my arse!” No preamble. Just that. She has never been that blunt. So I did. I licked it to the best of my ability. She clearly loved it, moaning as I did.

After, when She called ‘enough’, She told me to go and made tea. No sexual hint for me. Just go and make tea.

As I got out of bed She told me that She would cane me for not dimming the lights when She asked me to last night. “When I ask you to do something like that I don’t need your attitude,” She said, “You should just do it.” I agree.

And She told me to start to submit the review form to Her every day, so She could use it to ‘manage that sort of behaviour’ better.

As I showered later my cock got hard. She wants me to not fuck Her properly, ever again (“get that right out of your mind”), She wants me to encourage and support Her fucking other men (She picked up a one night stand about a month ago, and sucked and fucked him) and She wants me to submit and serve Her ‘without attitude’. Fucking perfect. THAT is exactly where I want to be. And not just to be, but to manifestly be. A complete wimp cuckold submissive who serves Her, submits to Her and comes second to Her in every way.

Trying to simplify our relationship

Life is good. It has its complications, and I am trying to simplify them.

A few days ago a friend came round with some viagra. I don’t need the stuff – my cock is always rock hard – but hell, a man wants to try a permanent hard on, right? So I got one from him. It’s in my draw upstairs.

But what shall I do with it?

I asked Mistress why She does not ask me to fuck Her properly (because then I could use the viagra, and fuck Her for 3 hours like David used to do) but She doesn’t want this. “You love fucking other guys so much, why not me’” I asked Her.

“You are my submissive wimp husband, and I love you for that. I don’t want you to fuck me properly now or ever. Just forget that. Put it out of your mind,” She said.

Well. That was a difficult pill to swallow – and no pun intended.

So my viagra is still in the drawer upstairs. I’m actually toying with the idea of offering it to Her to use with one of Her boyfriends. Or throwing it away. But that would be like giving up.

On the other hand I could ask Her what to do with it. I could say to Her. ‘I have this viagra tab (She knows I got it). You don’t want me to fuck You properly, so what shall I do with it, shall I throw it away?” and see what She says.

Or, I could just throw it away and not trouble Her about it.

I’d love to do the best submissive thing to do. But I’d also love to enjoy a bottle of wine together and bang Her all night with it.

What do you think? Take the poll.