Jealous of a rabbit?

Last night was a wonderfully peaceful evening. The kids were very well behaved and we all stayed up late chatting and playing. The telly didn’t even go on apart from a 15 minute session to watch some great tennis at Wimbledon – what athletes they are. Limbs like gazelle’s on the ladies, just like Mistress’.

So it was pretty late by the time we went up to bed. But my cock was hard as I lay in bed watching Mistress get naked ready to get in, and I could not take the risk that She would notice that I had not told Her of my hard on and the reasons for it, so I reported that Her cock was hard because I was thinking about being punished for having an unauthorised orgasm. Mistress grinned with delight, and confirmed that although She had not punished me yesterday (Friday) She would indeed be punishing me for that orgasm, for which I thanked Her.

As Mistress got into bed She ordered me to play with Her and I reached down and did so, teasing one finger into Her lubed pussy, and tickling Her clit gently with the other. She groaned and writhed in pleasure, asking me what I was thinking about.

I told Mistress of the exchange I had had with jackie (thank you jackie) in yesterdays blog, in which my online friend had suggested that I should have to count the strokes She gives me, saying “One. Thank You Mistress. I will not cum without permission again. Please give me nine more”. I explained to Mistress that the idea of this made my cock really hard, because I am thinking that if She (Mistress) has to pause between strokes while I thanked Her, then She would be able to concentrate on each shot in its individual right and really make it count.

Mistress was well turned on by the idea, and Her pussy grew wetter as I talked. “Hmm!” She said, “I like the idea of that. I just might make you do that next time.” I continued to fondle Her.

Mistress turned over and told me to go and get Her rabbit to play with Her and I did so. As I gently inserted it into Her on a fairly low speed Mistress said that She might as well have that, as I would not be penetrating Her soon. And so I rode Her carefully with the toy while She told me exactly what Se wanted. I was sat there watching this thing going in and out of Her gorgeous body, wondering when my cock would get to enjoy that pleasure, and I must admit, fantasising that if She found a regular, local lover to screw Her it may become very rare indeed for me to enjoy this privilege.

The rabbit did its job and Mistress duly shuddered to a mighty orgasm while I watched. With Her permission I went down and licked Her clean before getting up to wash the rabbit and put it away before going to sleep.

Like I said, a lovely evening.

Machine gun

Last week when Mistress stopped by She gave me twenty strokes. Ten were a punishment and ten were for discipline, so She gave them to me in two sets of ten. Each set was fired off like a machine gun, rat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat ,tat, tat, as if swatting a load of flies. One set from one side of the bed, the next from the other.

The strokes still hurt, but the impact of firing them off in this machine gun manner was that no one swing received anything like the attention of power it could have done if it was treated as an individual in its own right.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I anticipated my strokes this morning – ten for cumming without permission, plus whatever else Mistress deemed fit. If I was going to suffer ten for cumming without permission, then since they are going to hurt anyway, my preference would be for them to really hurt, so that I never forget them, and always remember as I approach the possibility of an orgasm that has not been permitted – because then I’ll learn and be a better submissive for my Mistress.

Therefore my preference would be to receive each stroke as an individual work in its own right. Contemplated, aimed, swung and teaching as intended.

I contemplated speaking to Mistress about this. In my mind I discussed with Her the machine-gun approach and how less effective the strokes were, and asked if She did not prefer the idea of landing each stroke separately and painfully. In my mind, I went on to offer the help of my submission towards this end.

If after each stroke I had to say “Thank You Mistress. Please give me another one” then Mistress would have sensible opportunity to pause between strokes. Or, of Mistress did not like this, then She could just pause, contemplate my arse (!), choose where to land the next stroke and lay it on more forcefully.

In my mind Mistress chose to let me thank Her and request another one. In my mind I did this twenty five times as She caned me, and in my mind each stroke bit into my arse like fire, teaching me Her will and refining my submission. My cock grew rock hard at the thought.

But having spoken to Mistress about the frequency of my orgasms so recently I decided not to broach this subject, not wanting to appear to be too critical or suggesting of how She should run me, so I kept my own counsel.

For whatever reason, Mistress chose not to stop by and apply the cane this morning in any event, and so my arse is not smarting in any event.

Accidental spillage

This morning I woke a little faster than usual, as did Mistress, when Her alarm rang. As I always do when we both wake up, I offered to kiss Her pussy good morning and She kindly let me.

A short while later She lay back panting from Her orgasm, and I was glad to have set Her day off to a good start. I held Her panting body in both hands and admired the lithe, sleek curves of Her flat stomach and smooth mound, my cock rock hard.

I request permission to wank a little before getting up, and Mistress kindly agreed. After about 6 pumps Mistress instructed me to insert myself into Her for five strokes, which I did. After those five She instructed me to do five more which I did, but the fifth took me right to the edge. I told Her I was very close to cuming and She forbade it and ordered me out. But as I withdrew, my seed spilt onto my tummy – the sensation had been too much.

It was not a ‘real’ orgasm, more a belated milking, but cum I did, and without permission.

Mistress announced my punishment – five strokes for cumming without permission. But almost immediately afterwards She revised this upward to ten, saying five was not enough for such a crime. And I was doing so well – until this morning I was not due any strokes tomorrow, but now I’ve blown it.

I’ve been reading and contributing to a thread on the Female Lead Relationships forum in which we have been discussing the optimum frequency of permitted orgasms for submissive males. I commented that I served much better if I was not permitted to cum for at least three weeks, but said that I was reluctant to tell Mistress this least I be appearing to top from the bottom. A member of the board pointed out to me, quite rightly, that Mistress is not a mind reader, and if I didn’t respectfully let Her know this then how was She to know.

So this morning I respectfully let Mistress know this view. I said that whilst it was obviously entirely Her prerogative to decide if, when and how I should cum, my personally feeling was that I performed better for Her if I was not allowed to cum. Mistress agreed that She had noted this.

I explained that whilst I loved cumming, serving Her was my number one priority, and suggested to Her that She should therefore make me wait longer between orgasms (if ever She chose for me to cum again) in order to enjoy improved service. I suggested that a wait of at least three weeks was optimum. I hastened to add that in the meantime She should not hesitate to enjoy Her orgasms, and could of course choose to make or let me cum any time.

Mistress agreed with this, but queried how She would remember how long it had been.

I suggested to Her that July was about to start – we are due to fly out on holiday on 22 July, it is my Birthday on 23 July and we are back from holiday around 5 August – I suggested that Mistress could remember that I had not cum in July, and that there was no need to review or consider this at all until either we went on holiday, or I had my birthday, or we got back from holiday or the month was over – whatever She chose.

Mistress kindly agreed that She would adapt to this way of thinking, and enjoy the improved service that goes with it.

My cock is rock hard thinking of how well I will serve Her, and how hard my cock will be as I do so.

Close shave

Last night as I prepared for bed I rubbed my chin and debated whether to shave or not. Mistress had cum on Saturday night – and even allowed me to cum inside Her – so chances were that She would not require my oral services. But if She did, and I had stubble, was it worth the ten strokes it would cost me?

I decided that I was not that rough, and that the chances of Her requiring my services were sufficiently low to get away with it, and chose not to shave.

It was pretty cold as we went to bed, and Mistress shivered and said that She’d need to warm up a bit before She sent me down to eat Her….”Uh oh!” I thought, “I may be for it now….”

A couple of minutes later She did send me down and I licked and teased delicately at Her wonderful petal, duly delivering Her to orgasm, my own cock throbbing as I did so – it felt like I had not come in weeks rather than just a day or two ago.

I managed to bring joy to Mistress without drawing comment on my stubble. Though as I ate I kept more than half a mind on making sure that I did not rub my chin against Her more than I had to in order to bring Her pleasure. Hmmmmm!

Then this morning the kids did not come through to our room as they so often do, and so I was able to offer to kiss Mistress’ pussy good morning. She was bursting for the loo and so went there first, returning to bed, lying back, and telling me to go down.

I did so with relish, kissing and licking, and in doing so drawing off the juices She had left on Her from Her visit to the loo. Stimulated, She began to writhe beneath me. But as usual on a weekday morning there was not the time for full deliverance, and Mistress enjoyed the stimulation before sending me off to make the morning tea.

Smooth!

There is no image of a tunnel that shows how deep, warm, smooth and pleasant the place was where I came last night!

A day in service

Yesterday I felt I did well in serving. Not wanting to crow or anything, I hardly stopped.

I picked the kids up and brought them home. Entertained them. Bathed and fed them. Did two loads of laundry and hung it out to dry. Put away all the laundry that had been ironed. Served drinks to Mistress’ guests on their arrival, produced, served and cleared away the takeaway, served drinks all night. The list does not look too impressive, but when you consider that Mistress was in the gym, or sat chatting to Her guests while all this went on, I felt my priorities were right.

My sister-in-law called from the ‘states at around 6.30 pm to talk to Mistress. There was a staggered silence on the end of the ‘phone after I’d said Mistress was out at the gym and I was putting away laundry. I could hear her thinking: ‘Pussy Whipped!’ her silence hollered, before she said ‘Wow!’. I was very proud of myself!
I made sure I was clean shaved as we went to bed, but Mistress did not request of my services and we went to sleep.

This morning Mistress was very kind, and played with my cock for a little while before sending me off to make the tea. The joy of Her hand on me was REAL! She wanked me gently, then fast and then gently. Just long enough for me to feel the pleasure – nowhere near orgasm or anything like that, but most enjoyable. I was thrilled!

Tomorrow it will be two weeks since I have cum. I am so sure that it is right I should not cum too much – my attitude, demeanour and service levels are so improved for it. Goodness. My cock is hard nearly all the day!

- 0 –

Don’t you dig the picture? The guy with the umbrella is the submissive husband, holding it for his wife and Her lover who already spent the whole afternoon in bed shagging while he cleared up the lunch things!

Curing a golf slice

This last few months I’ve been going to see my golf pro to work on a number of things – mostly on dealing with the slice-off-to-the-right that has plagued me for years. I have in the past tried other pros, but none has ever had any impact on my slice until this guy. This pro watches me hit five balls then tells me what I am doing wrong, and how to correct it. I correct it right there in front of him and I’m away. I play great golf for the next few rounds. But then some new malaise, or a variation of the old sets in and after a few weeks without a lesson the slice begins to creep back in. History has shown I can’t sure it on my own. So I go back to see the pro, he watches me hit five balls, tells me what I’m doing wrong and how to do it right and….yeah, yeah. yeah. You get the idea.

So at my last lesson I say to the pro that I want him to teach me how to draw the ball gently towards the left. I argue that once I can do that, then somewhere between the draw and my natural slice I will be able to compromise and correct, and cure my own slice.

He pulls a wry face and says that if I’ve got time for a lesson every week or two over the next year then he’s happy to try, but no guarantee on the results. A year! I thought we might deal with it in the remaining 20 minutes of my lesson. Apparently not.

I draw parallels between this and my FemDom service to Mistress. I want to serve Her as the perfect slave, just as I want to hit a straight golf ball. If She tells me what to do, and corrects me when I go wrong, then I will become the perfect slave for Her.

But three years into a punishment, discipline, service regime I am still far from the perfect slave. I still manage to upset Her and fail to display the appropriate levels of humility.

Fortunately for me My Mistress is also in this for the long term. This morning as She was in the shower and I was brushing my teeth (naked) She told me that She would be stopping by on Her way past to the office to give me my strokes.

She said that my behaviour had deteriorated rather than improved, and that She would give me 20 strokes. She asked if I thought this would improve my behaviour, as She felt that my past punishment had not improved me. I replied that I thought it would improve me, provided that I understood why I was being punished.

She said that She would give me 20 for no particular reason. Just for discipline and to improve general humility. My cock betrayed me and started to rise as She spoke. She smiled as She saw it. She went on to decide and explain that actually She would give me ten for not displaying sufficient humility in Julia’s presence when we went camping last week, and a further ten for general discipline. I queried Her on the humility in front of Julia. ‘Was I supposed to display more submission that I did in front of Her?’ I was, She explained. My cock continued to twitch, and Mistress continued to smile at it while She spoke. My arse was twitching too – with fear.

And so I am lucky enough to have received my 20 strokes this morning, towards making me a better person. I’m sure it will not perfect me, but equally it will contribute towards improvement. In just the same way that my next golf lesson will contribute to a better round, rather than eliminate my slice forever.

If you Google a cure for a golf swing, you get hundreds of sites back offering you an instant and permanent cure for a few dollars. My arse. That’s bollocks and I’m not going to waste my money. Just the same way there is no ‘one way’, instant fix method of serving my Mistress. There is learning and improvement along the journey I take in pursuit of perfection.

Birthday gift

Today is Mistress’ birthday. I believe it is not polite to tell a ladies age, so I’ll keep schtum on that one.

For the first time, so far as I recall, I bought Mistress’ birthday present on line. She had told me She wanted a pair of white sunglasses, and surfing around to see what was available it was too easy to choose a pair and get them delivered the next day – so that’s what I did. Mistress kindly wore them off to work this morning, and looked good enough to make my cock hard in them, so I guess I chose well.

I was out at a pro-am golf tournament in London yesterday (thank you, kind sponsors) where, would you believe it, our team won! A very large, shiny glass ‘object’. Not sure what we are going to do with it, but the kids love it!
It has been nearly a week and a half since my last orgasm, so my cock gets big and hard when it does get hard. And as I sit here my arse aches a little from my last caning.

Today being a Wednesday the house is empty in the morning after the school run, and I did think that Mistress might choose to give me my punishment for my weekends behaviour. Part of me thought She wouldn’t cane me today, this being Her birthday and Her being so kind hearted and all. But part of me thought She would claim Her right, and enjoy Her birthday morning with a severe beating, but She did not.

If I am honest, I am a little disappointed. I do not feel the need for any mercy on Her part, and in fact feel that She should relish, employ and enjoy every opportunity to subjugate me, Her birthday morning appearing to be a particularly fine opportunity to illustrate Her power over me. But it was not to be, and I should not and will not complain. (a) it is Her choice so that is right, and (b) my arse would be cut and hurting a lot more if She had chosen to stripe it.

Simple erection

Friday night was a little unusual. We didn’t go up to bed until 1 am – I’m not sure where the evening went – and once we did get to bed, unusually, Mistress told me to play with Her. It is fairly unusual for Her to want sex at this time of night and I wondered to myself whether this was because She wanted penetrative sex from me.
As I tickled Her She asked whether my arse was hurting and I answered, truthfully, that it was not. She said that She would have to cane me harder next time, and my cock throbbed against Her with fear.
I once read somewhere that following a caning a slave’s arse should be tender and painful for a full three days following the caning. I happen to be an ardent believer of this. I can actually remember the most effective caning Mistress gave me – my arse hurt for days, and I remember it hurting as I walked round the golf course. So I promised to present Mistress with a choice of two canes next time – the one She usually uses, and a bigger, stronger cane that She might choose to use.
Mistress was quite excited and ordered me down onto Her, where I duly liked and teased Her to climax. I received no reward other than the pleasure of having done so, and we then went to sleep.
Mistress has not mentioned my cock since telling me to stop asking to put it in, but it is now just over a week since I was last permitted to cum. I am at the stage where when my cock is hard it is very hard.
This weekend we went camping with some friends and their kids and a great time was had by all. At least it didn’t rain on us all weekend. But on Saturday eveing Mistress said to me that I was not behaving like a proper submissive. I was sat on my arse relaxing telling Her what to do, instead of pro-actively getting up to help Her and ease Her burden as a proper submissive should. She giggled and said I was pathetic, and that She had decided to give me twenty strokes for this behaviour! Twenty!
My cock has just got hard remembering Mistress promising to cane me harder and I texted Her to let Her know. This is Her response:-
“Funny. I was just thinking of a suitable punishment 4 the fact that I did not like how u related to me over the wkd. Whatever I come up with…will hurt!” Oh dear.
Needless to say, Sunday I was much more proactive about taking care of and serving Her. I wondered whether She noted this –thinking I was doing myself a disservice and ‘proving’ to Her that through caning She gets better service. But thing is I believe that to be true, and I strive to better levels of service, so if that is the case then so be it.
Mistress is out at the gym this morning, and I am about to go for a golf lesson. I am back at 11 and Mistress is back at 12 noon. Whether or not She will choose to deal with me today remains to be seen, but I do look forward to serving Her better as we move forward in our relationship. I would love to always be on my feet pro-actively making Her life as easy as possible. Yummy!

Some ass visited my 360 page and added about 5 or 6 comments. ‘Tag’ he said. And because he said so 5 or 6 times his was the only comment visible on my home page. I found this irritating and intrusive. I really appreciate visits and comments from anyone bothered to read my page. It’s not an adverting site for arse holes so I deleted all his comments. Grrrr!

Logging on

Last night after my bath, as I walked past the playroom I noticed Mistress logged in to Her 360 profile. This is the first and only evidence I have had that She has ever used it.

Later than night after Mistress turned out the lights in bed She told me to play with Her. I lower my fingers to tease Her satin smooth pussy and felt truly privileged to do so. As I played I rubbed my rock hard cock up against Her leg and told Her that I was wondering whether She would let me put it in today. She told me I would definitely not be putting it in Her today, and that I only ask to put it in Her because I enjoy it. I make out I am offering to pleasure Her, but actually I am doing it for me, and I should never ask to penetrate Her again. Mistress explained that She knows my cock is there and She will ask for it if She wants it.

I love this development. Life for me is so much clearer when Mistress is kind enough to give me explicit instruction, let alone one so intimate. But what brought this on? I worry it is definitely going to translate to less sex for me, as this year at least it has nearly always been I that has initiated sex by offering to ‘just’ insert it for Her pleasure. It could be a while now before I get to enjoy that particular reward.

After quite a bit of play, Mistress sent me down to eat Her and I did so with my usual diligence. Mistress pushed Her climax back as far as possibly could, and I seemed to be at it for ages, although my enthusiasm did not diminish one bit. After some time Mistress turned the lights on, which I always prefer as it means I can see the beautiful body I am so privileged to pleasure.

Eventually Mistress came to a shattering orgasm and I licked and sucked as clean as I could before coming back up to sleep, Her tender breast in my hand and my cock throbbing against Her thigh as we spooned.

This morning when I asked Mistress did not allow me to play with myself in bed as She always has done, and I had to get out and go and make the tea without that pleasure. Later, as She drank Her tea She informed me of Her decision to ‘stop by’. ‘Stop by’ were the words She used, so I figure She must have read my blog while She was on line. To confirm, I asked if I should present myself when She stopped by and She confirmed that I should.

We went to drop the kids off at school together, and I had the pleaure of watching Her walk around in the sort summer skirt that She was wearing which showed off Her thighs so well. When we got back from school I went upstairs to the bedroom and stripped naked. I closed all the windows as we have a builder working outside, and I did not want him to hear my cries.

As I fixed my wrist and ankle cuffs my cock started to pump up, and I tried to work out why. I was not looking forward to pain. Does a cock get hard when its owner expects pain? If a prisoner faces lashes, does he get a hard on?

I wondered how to broach the subject with Mistress. I had to report it, because if I did not and She noticed She might punish me. Yet I did not want to say ‘I am sexually excited at the thought You are about to cane me’. Duh!

Whatever the reason, I got hard, and it was too late to report it as Mistress smiled as She saw me walk to the bed and lay face down. She slung the ropes from my cuffs over the bed posts and picked up the cane.

She first gave me the five that I was due for cumming in Her last week. Then She gave me 15 for my bad attitude which She and I had discussed (and I wrote about in my blogs of the 11th and 12th). When I thought She was done She was clearly about to continue and I appealed for mercy, that She had given me all 15. But then She said that She was giving me ten for discipline, and She proceeded to do just that.

I have not had more than 25 strokes for some time now, and I was terrified what the effect would be My arse felt tender, and I was worried it would cut as She beat it. But to be totally honest, the discipline strokes were no where nearly as hard as the earlier ones – I would say Mistress laid them in at about 35%, and I was able to cope fairly well. However, as I lay there I pumped and danced my arse from side to side and Mistress kept telling me to keep it still, because She was hitting the same butt cheek. The other butt cheek hurt like hell, so I don’t know how She reached that conclusion. I tried to keep as still as I could, but fear that I failed in this respect. Fortunately She did not punish me any more for it.

When Mistress was finally done She released my ropes as I thanked Her, kissed me good by, and left for work, but not before telling me to get up off the bed and ‘not lay there all day’, which I did as She walked out.

Afterwards I would normally hold my naked butt up against a cool window facing away from the sun downstairs. But with the builder walking around outside I could hardly do this, and so I got dressed and went to clear away the breakfast dishes instead.
I wonder what further developments the future will bring.

Stopping by

Mistress kindly allowed me to play with myself a little this morning before I got out of bed. She is kind like that, and does generally allow me a little self pleasure before I drag myself off to make the morning tea.

Today She said that She might stop off on Her way back to work tomorrow after dropping the kids at school, to give me a disciplinary session. (For the benefit of those that are not into the lingo discipline is where She canes me to remind me I am subject to Her, as compared to punishment, which is where I have wronged and She canes me to punish me for my wrongdoing and to help ensure I do not do it again.

I am actually due 5 strokes for cumming in Her last weekend. So if She does stop by then I guess She’ll work them both in together. My arse is still tender from last time, so I wouldn’t mind if She does not stop by! Although I am not questioning Her right or the wisdom of doing so. I’m sure I need the strokes and will benefit from them if that is what She chooses.

Looking good

Mistress has left the house looking remarkably good the last two days. She always looks good, but these last couple of days we are talking *fine*

This morning I talked to Her about my punishment dilema, and recent insubordinate behaviour. (My cock was hard at the thought of Her taking a harder line with me, and so I had to confess to that).

Mistress agreed that I had been bad, but did not immediately threaten to do anything about it, although She recognised that She could of course choose to do so. We shall see.

My home network has been playing up - I am struggling to log in to sites that require cookies. Hopefully I'll get it sorted today.

Internal struggle

I hate to dwell on a monotonous theme, but there is an issue that troubles me.
I see it as the cyclical nature of my submissive side. (I actually think it is the cyclical nature of the submissive male, but who am I to preach on what others think?) But I fear that others, including my darling Mistress Wife, may see it as a constant desire for punishment.
I want to serve and submit to me Mistress, slavishly.
I do not seek punishment, but I regret that I sometimes need it, or the clear threat of it, in order to motivate me to do the right thing.
Mistress enjoys my submission and service, but does not (appear to) want to pursue the punishment regime necessary to optimise my submission. She is happy to punish me when She sees fit, but this does not extend so far as ensuring the ‘perfect slave’.
I do not want Mistress to feel a need or pressure to punish me any more than She sees fit. But without that punishment I occasionally lapse into imperfection.
I feel that the more I am imperfect, the less submissive I am, the less dominant Mistress is and thus the cyclical nature of the dilemma is fed.
What on earth am I rambling on about?
There are a number of instances in the last few days (well, since I was permitted to orgasm actually) in which I have not exhibited a sufficiently deferential attitude to my Mistress, including the following:-
• When I was angered that She followed me into our daughters room at night.
• When I took the kids up for a bath yesterday and exhibited a shortness of temper in front of and towards Her.
• When I spoke to Her two or three times last night and did not properly address Her as ‘Mistress’.
Contrast the behaviour above with my attitude to shaving and to doing the laundry. Mistress has said that if a damage another garment in the wash then I will get 30 strokes per garment damaged. So do I continue to mix colours in the wash? You bet I don’t! Mistress has said that I’ll get ten strokes if I go down on Her again with stubble on my chin. So do I forget to shave before we go to bed? I certainly do not.
Mistress has mentioned both these things in the past. I have been aware that laundry should be separated into colours, and I have been aware that my stubble can rub against Her thighs. So as a good submissive I should have paid attention to these areas anyway. But that is exactly my point: I am not perfect, not as a submissive nor in any other way. But the added incentive of the otherwise inevitable punishment ensures that I remain focused on attending to these areas and not letting them slip.
This makes me a better submissive. Interestingly it does not necessarily lead to Mistress using the cane more. Ideally it does not, because ideally I deliver to Her clear expectations.

Fallout

Last night Mistress asked me to go up and check on the kids who were sleeping. The order pissed me off a bit, because I think its best to let sleeping kids sleep, and not go and disturb them. But up I went to see.
Our oldest was awake from the heat (so Mistress was right – the inspection was necessary…) and so I opened a window and pulled her cover back. As I did so Mistress came up to see what was taking me so long.
I got pissed off that She had come up, and left Her to it, marching off in a bit of strop. What’s the point of asking me to do it, and then doing it Herself anyway? Why not just do it Herself in the first place?
Afterwards I was a little worried (truth be told I still am!) that She might punish me for my untoward behaviour – it was totally unnecessary. And if She chooses to come up as well then who am I to question Her decision? So far, She has not told me of any decision to punish me for it.
So what brought on the bad behaviour? In my opinion it is the orgasm I was allowed on Saturday night, after a two week wait. Looking back over our relationship it is very clear to me that I am much more submissive and better behaved when I have not been allowed to orgasm for some time. Conversely, all my worst, childish outbursts occur with 24 to 48 hours after an orgasm.
Elise Sutton advises that for this very reason she allows her man to cum no more than once every three weeks. I don’t like to ‘tell’ Mistress whether She should allow me to cum or not, so I don’t tell Her. But it seems pretty clear to me that She gets an altogether better submissive when She keeps it on edge rather than letting it cum.

The Best a Man Can Get

Saturday night Mistress was kind enough to allow me in to Her, where She let me choose whether or not to cum for five strokes. Her offer was far too late - I was too far gone for five strokes to stop me, and I emptied myself deep into Her glorious tunnel. After, She said to make sure I remembered to write the five down.
This evening, after a great 9 holes (41, = my best score over 9 at my club) I got home exhausted ready for a bath. As I waited for the water to run, I ran my hand over my chin and realised how stubbly I was. Normally I would only shave once a week or so. But now I am on notice that if required to ‘go down’ and stubbly, I’ll get ten. Not worth it. I stopped to shave.
I have no idea whether or not Mistress will require my oral ministrations today. She does not require my services every day. But that’s not the point is it? The point is, if She does, and I’m rough, then I’ll get ten. So now I have to shave every day – if I remember! Sadly, I reckon its just a matter of time before I earn a reminder on this one – but I shall try not to…

Sucks

The whole point of our going away for the weekend was to spend the days naked outside enjoying exposing ourselves to others at the club....sadly the weather forecast (once set for a sunny 26 degrees) sucked, so we didn't go. We are instead going to spend the weekend at home. So I'm off to buy some pertrol for the mower.

We'll go to the club another weekend when the forecast is better. Perhaps see you then....

Penny dropping?

Last night we ate with the kids, which we try and do as much as possible, though it does not always work out. Once we were done and left the table, Mistress got on with Her thing, leaving me to clean up everything without comment. The table was covered in stuff – serving dishes, food crumbs, half drunk drinks, you name it. But it was not Her problem, it was mine, and I knuckled down to it as She so obviously expected. I wonder if Mistress even thought about it (as I obviously did) or whether She now takes that aspect of my service for granted.



A couple of days ago I did a laundry wash, including a new, bright yellow skirt that was a present for one of the girls from one of the grandparents. It was a tiny little skirt, but the colour from the wretched thing ran through half the wash, completely destroying it. So last night as Mistress put a pair of Her favourite, white shorts into the wash She told me to make sure that I do it only with other whites and not mix in any other colours. She went on to say that if I ever mix in any other colours and destroy any more garments, any at all, then I will get 30 strokes per garment ruined. Per Garment!



Mistress moved on to our new kettle, a complicated affair with an integral water filter from Britta. ‘And another thing.” She said, “You’ve got to stop over-filling the kettle. Make sure the water never goes above the ‘Max’ line here, or you can spoil it. You’ll get two, no, five, yes, five strokes any time I ever see the level above ‘Max’. You understand?”
“Yes Mistress.” I replied. Well, that is pretty clear, isn’t it? I don’t think it will spoil the kettle, but that’s irrelevant isn’t it? Because I know I don’t want five strokes every time She sees too much water in it.

When we were ready for bed Mistress got up of the chair and went upstairs, leaving me to clear away the cups, fill the dish washer and tidy up ready for breakfast, all without a word of instruction from Her. My cock got hard as I thought how carelessly She left me to do all the chores, takeign for granted, knowing, that I would do them, with or without any instruction from Her to do so.

In bed I asked for permission to play with Mistress’ new’s waxed pussy – Velvet Heaven! After a little while Mistress told me to go down on Her which I gladly did, soon delivering Her to glorious orgasm.



Mistress kindly allowed a brief insertion, but instructed me to cum, which I succeeded in avoiding. Mistress kindly permitted me to use a delay spray, although the warmth and depth of Her Velvet Tunnel proved too much, and withdrawal was the only effective means of avoidance.



The ‘morning shadow’ on my chin irritated Mistress and She told me to keep it shaved. Future occurrence of this will lead to 10 strokes of the cane, She said. So I not plan to shave closely every evening.

I detect a subtle, but hopefully powerful, change in Mistress’ attitude, to one where She is going to be more insistent on getting Her own way. I do hope so. My desire to serve Her knows no bounds.

Going away

When I go down to make the tea in the morning, Mistress gets out of bed, pulls on a pair of hotpants and a small top and does Her Pilates exercises. As I get back with the tea She finishes off and comes back to bed to drink Her tea. I’ve always wondered why She gets dressed to do Her exercise, when nudity has never been an issue around our house.

This morning as I walked in with the tea I noticed that She was exercising topless. Her breasts hung down like ripe fruits as She kneeled in some Pilates posture, and I had the very great pleasure of watching them sway.

I commented and thanked Her for the gorgeous sight, quickly getting into bed, sitting drinking my tea, staring intently at Her tits and enjoying the view.
As I watched, Her nipples hardened with the attention, giving me the added pleasure of watching them bullet out.

This week end Mistress and I are going away to a London naturist club for the weekend. The weather man is promising scorching temperatures, and we’ll take books and an airbed and enjoying lazing in the sun and the pool naked, and have a few drinks and party at the overnight disco on Saturday night.

The club we are going to is very adult in nature, and we are sure to have a good time. In fact, it was at this club that Mistress was first propositioned and screwed by someone else, in front of me, about 9 years ago. I remember well holding Her hand as I watched him slide his cock deep into Her well. Even way back then I was absolutely mesmerised as I watched Her take Her pleasure.

I informed Mistress as my cock got hard as I lay in bed thinking about our trip to the club this morning. I was thinking that it will be two weeks since I came – probably longer than for anyone else at the club, and so my cock will get hard (while I am naked) at a moments notice….combine this with the stripes on my arse from yesterday’s caning and I will make an interesting sight. I imagined Mistress making me hard and then telling me to go join the queue to buy Her an ice cream – cock out front, lines at the back!

Today Mistress is going to get a Hollywood. For those not in the know, this is a complete bikini waxing where all Her pubic hair is pulled by a process called waxing. Mistress tells me it hurts ‘like buggery’ (She should know - before our FemDom lifestyle started She allowed me to bugger Her on a few occasions!).
The result of the Hollywood is the smoothest, softest pussy experience you can possibly imagine. This is great, and I can’t help but wonder whether She is doing this ready for the weekend. Certainly Her pussy is going to make a wonderful playground for any fingers, mouths or perhaps even cocks lucky enough to be invited to play there over the weekend.

Some time ago Mistress and I were at the club and we saw the biggest, black cock we have ever seen. Normally I prefer the idea of Mistress screwing white guys, but this guy was exceptional, and I still fantasise about sucking him hard ready for him to push it deep into Her. Both of us were instantly mesmerised. Sadly Mistress did not get to play with it. Whilst I don’t believe it will happen, I can but live in hope that we will find another like that this weekend, and Mistress will get to play with it…

One 'because I can'

Mistress was pain neutral in Her punishment of me this morning. She certainly did not withhold anything, but neither did She cut me too badly – in fact, my arse is not bleeding at all (not yet anyway).
This is the first time it has been so long between strokes (because of Her parents recent visit) and also the first time we have used a list of crimes and punishments. I think Mistress liked the list. She certainly followed it carefully and told me of each of my crimes before punishing me for it. She smiled while She did so, and appeared to take some pleasure from it.
My cock did not get hard at all while I was waiting, preparing myself, being punished or afterwards. In fact, it is only twitching for the first time now. I dreaded the punishment, and carried no erotic association with it.
When She was done, Mistress very kindly only gave me one extra stroke ‘because She can’. She could of course have given me more, and I am grateful for Her mercy. I think that I will be able to manage to walk round the golf course OK this afternoon. Wish me luck.

School Run

Mistress has just left to do the school run. She has asked me to prepare a detailed list of the strokes due that She will stop by to give me on Her way to the office - in 20 minutes time.

I have typed and printed off the following for Her.


3 Pooring myself a drink and not offering Mistress one first.

4 Answering ‘of course’ I am tired. ‘Of course’ should never be used when answering Mistress.

5 Cumming inside Mistress at Centre Parcs on Sunday

4 Sitting down in the family room and not offering to help Mistress unpack the shopping.

1 Answering ‘of course’ when asked a question by Mistress.

2 Not filling the windscreen wash in Mistress’ car immediately when asked to do so

19 Total strokes



Mistress has dressed in a particularly tight and sexy outfit today. I think (I hope!) She is feeling sexy because She is about to demonstrate Her dominance of me.

Oh dear

Tomorrow one of my buddies is coming to pick me up for a corporate golf day at our favourite course. I’d hoped to kill two birds with one stone, and avoid or delay my strokes at the same time, but he’s not coming to get me until 10.00am, so Mistress will have plenty of time to punish me in an empty house before hand. I told Her what time my pick up was, and She was delighted: “Great”, She said, “I’ll still have time to stop by and give you your strokes.”
After the round of golf we are invited for diner, so are carrying a change of clothes. I asked Mistress how I would use a communal shower with a bleeding arse and She giggled and said She did not know, but it would certainly make it interesting, and was my problem not Hers.
I am scared. I believe Mistress when She says She is going to lay them on hard. If was religious I would ask you to pray for me! As it is, I’ll just have to settle for trying to firm my arse as She cuts into it.
(The picture is [obviously!] Michele Wie. Not coz I know her or am playing with her tomorrow, but what a woman! She hits her drives further than me, but looking like that!)

Ultimate indulgence

Last night as we went to bed Mistress told me to go down on Her. As I did so I thought to myself how utterly selfish the order was – to instruct another person to give sexual gratification without any apparent reciprocation. It’s got to be the ultimate indulgence. And yet I draw far more reward than I ever deserve from the very pleasure of giving Her pleasure. In fact, I am privileged to do so. If the opportunity were thrown open there would be a queue and a struggle amongst those wishing to take my place in doing so. And so I did my best.
As I started down on Her, Mistress told me that She will stop by the house on Wednesday morning, after She has dropped off the kids and the house is otherwise empty, and give me the 19 strokes I am due. I fear that She is looking forward to this…
As I went down on Her I was terrified to ensure that I did my best, that She may decide I was not eating well enough or enthusiastically enough, and may choose to punish me for it. And so I worked hard at it, probing deep with my tongue, licking Her nub and lathering Her pubis and apparently achieving some success.
My cock was as hard as iron – it is now over a week since I was last allowed to cum, and I channelled all my energies into the task.
After She came I continued to probe deep, licking and sucking Her clean, very gentle around Her most sensitive spot, trying to tease Her into a second orgasm – an endeavour in which I rarely succeed.
When She was done She ordered me up, and accepted my offer of insertion, instructing me to do only 20 strokes and then pull out. I got to 20 and She ordered me to do another 10. After 5 of the others I was right on the edge, and informed Mistress so as I slowed down to a halt. Mistress said that I could choose to cum in Her in exchange for ten strokes. I reigned myself in and succeeded in stopping. She said the strokes would not be hard, and pushed back on me, but I avoided the temptation, orgasm and related strokes. Ten more on top of the 19 She has said She is giving me is too much for my tender arse to take.

Reporting hard ons; the dilemma

Whenever I get a hard on I am to report it to Mistress along with the reason for the hard on. I am not to wait for Her to notice the hard on or ask the reason, but am to be proactive with both.
This is awkward business. Once I was in bed in the morning with a hard on which She noticed before I reported it, and I got punished for it. So now I don’ take that chance – I report it ‘up front (no pun intended).
But take today lunch time. I’m remembering this guy telling me that if he was my Mistress he’d only let me cum in exchange for 100 strokes. The thought of it makes my cock hard, and I go off to report it to Mistress, who is half asleep in front of the telly. The last think I imagine She wants is me waking Her up to share my erection at the thought of some make She knows not who wanting to keep me celibate…
But mine is not to question but to obey, so I ask Her if She would like the details of my current hard on – She grunts and I go ahead and give Her the details. She questions me about it – so She was listening.
Many of these reports are awkward to make – She is half asleep in the morning. I am dashing somewhere…But I think that it is this very awkwardness that reinforces my submissiveness to Her that makes it imperative that I report every hard on complete with the reasons for it. I do feel that this give Mistress a useful insight into the ridiculously horny nature of my mind, and thus helps Her to decide how stupid I am and how She might deal with me.
Another issue I have with them – If I tell Mistress I am hard because I heard of a guy who has not been allowed to penetrate his wife for 2 years while she screws whoever she wants, then am I ‘topping from the bottom’ by imposing my fantasies on to Her? Or am I letting Her know how I think, so She can better deal with me? A fine line.
So I don’t think. I just report all hard ons with the real reasons for them as and when they occur.

The Final Score, or, New Beginnings

Well, Mistress took Her parents back up to the airport this morning, and they’re now in the air on their way back home. It’s been a great three weeks for all of us.

Last night as we went to bed my cock got hard as a couple of thoughts crossed my mind.

The first dirty thought was remembering a conversation with one of my perverted readers, who suggested that if he was controlling my orgasms then he’d only allow me to cum, if ever, in exchange for 100 strokes of the cane. When I objected that 100 strokes would kill me, he said ‘So what? You’re a slave – take the strokes and cum, or don’t take the strokes an don’t cum. What’s in it? You’re the slave and your feelings are irrelevant.” Wow. What a point of view. Fortunately I don’t serve him….but my cock gets hard thinking about my Mistress adopting so ruthless a view.

The second thought to harden me further was that with Mistress parents leaving this morning, we’d have the house to ourselves in the day time once again, and Mistress would be free to punish me as She chose.

As Mistress approached the bed I reported my hard on as required, and told Her the reasons for it. She commented that She would indeed be able to punish me as She wanted, an dboy-oh-boy was She going to do so – She said that my behaviour over the past three weeks has been awful, that I have not been submissive nor provided half decent service to Her.

I was surprised at this. I thought I had been a fairly model slave while Her folks have been here. Granted, I have transgressed 5 times, and marked up 14 strokes for those transgressions, but over a three week period that’s not too bad. I thought I was doing well, and so I said this to Mistress.

She said She was too tired to go through it last night, but my behaviour had been bad and She would be caning me severely to deal with it and to get me back on track as the submissive servant I should be.

Well. What do I expect? I don’t know, but I hope that this is no idle threat, and that Mistress does use our return to normality to train me more severely to serve and submit because it is in that service and submission that I thrive.

Quiet day

Quiet day today, taking in some of the sights.

Lastnight Mistress had me go down on Her. As I did, She said that it would be a 'very long time' before She allowed me to cum. I'm not sure what brought that on, but earlier in the day I had reported my hard on to Her, caused by chatting to a German chap who's wife has not screwed him since 2005, but screw her lover regularly....Be careful what you wish for!

Mistress is going out next Friday with a bunch of people from work. Last time that happened She slept with another guy! We can but live in hope!

It'll be a week this Sunday. I must confess to liking it - I'm a boy, and boys are proud of their cocks, and mine is bigger and prouder if it hasn't cum for some time .

Have a good weekend.

Public display of one thing or another

While away for the weekend we visited a health spa facility and enjoyed a few hours of relaxation in the Sauna. Afterwards I took a shower in the gents changing rooms, where the shower cubicles had glass dividers, but no doors. I picked the cubicle at the end, where I was least likely to get passing traffic who would see the sripes the cane has left on my arse. But I found myself thinking that I didn’t mind if they did see anyway, since my Mistress had chosen to put them there, and so what did I care what the passing public think about it.

The idea got me horny and I found my cock getting hard as I showered. I was in the shower, so I naturally soaped and washed it and this made the situation even harder! Given that I was in a public place this made me more horny, and I had a very pleasurable time washing my now hard cock thoroughly in the knowledge that anyone passing would have to see either my hard on, or the stripes on my arse – I could not hide both. My cock was a delight as I gently rubbed its length.