Naked in his arms

She is naked in his arms right now. How do I know? Because She left here 45 minutes ago with nothing on other than a coat and sexy undies.

Has he cum yet? Has he eaten Her? Has She knelt at his feet and sucked his cock? Has he put his finger up Her arse and fucked Her?

Last night She made me wank myself to orgasm.

Naked date

Mistress is about to go into the office to meet him - they will be the only two in the building. She is going to sexy undies under a coat - Her idea, not mine. No other clothes. He is going to get the surprise of his life when he finds Her naked under that coat.

Her hope is that they will get to enact all their fantasies about fucking on and sucking under his desk. Looks like they will too...

Could be a happy new year for him...

A letter about blowjobs

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Pussy or porridge?

This morning I woke up horny. No change their. Couldn’t go back to sleep. At 6am I decided to go down and lick Mistress’ arse. This was a bit risky, as She hadn’t told me to, but I know She loves it, so I took the risk.

Turning myself round in the bed I pushed my face into her lovely, soft arse, and stuck my tongue in. I licked and rubbed, and arse fucked Her with my tongue.

After a while I turned myself back up and cuddled Her again. I decide to be braver, and touched Her pussy, just a bit, in case She gave me any encouragement. She didn’t. She told me I did not deserver Her pussy, and to wank into a cup and drink my spoof.

I figured that was better than nothing – at least I get to wank. As I wanked, I asked if I could cum on Her, and lick it all up, but She said no, to cum in the cup and drink it, so I did.

After a short cuddle I then came down to start work.

An hour later She buzzed down for tea, and I took this up with Her Crackberry – I could see She had an unread message, and Dave was obviously in touch. I left Her with the crack and a cup of tea, and came back down to work.

After a few minutes I got to wondering if they two of them were having BBM sex. If they were, then I could go up and eat Her to orgasm while She had BBM sex with him – She likes that.

I drafted a text up to Her. “Is Your boyfriend having BBM sex with You? Would You like me to come and eat You while you chat to him?”

But I didn’t send the message, because She told me I should not approach Her with the offer of or a request for sex. So instead I sent Her the following text: “Can I do anything to please You Mistress?”

“Yes,” She replied, “Make me porridge please.”

So I did make Her porridge, and when I took it up the two of them were furiously texting away having BBM sex. But She didn’t want me to eat Her – or She’d have told me to go down. I guess my wank was my morning credit.

The staircase

When Mistress got home yesterday, all excited from Her date, I asked, and She kindly told me, more details about exactly how they ended up playing with each other.

The pub was very busy at lunch time, so they could not kiss and play in their. On the way out he went downstairs to the toilets. She waited for him, and then noticed that the stairwell down to the toilets was a quiet spot they could have a snog in, so She decided to walk down there and wait for him to come out.

As She stepped down the stairs he came out down below, saw Her heading down, and immediately knew what She had in mind, so stepped aside to give Her room.

She got down there and they came into each others arms for a kiss. As they kissed he reached under Her dress, pulled Her pants to one side and played with Her cunt, slipping his finger in up to the knuckle. They kissed and groped for some time.

She played with his hard cock through his trousers, not getting it out.

Apparently he knows that he has licence to, and is indeed welcome, to play with Her cunt like this any time he wants.

Morning Glory

This flower is called a morning glory! What a coincidence, it looks just like the entrance to Her pussy or arse that I lick each morning! What a great coincidence!

Mistress is off work this week, and not back in the office (to work!) until after the new year. So we’ve been over indulging in red wine and late nights, and having a good time with the kids.

This morning as we lay together I asked if there was any way I could please Her, and She asked me to go down and eat Her pussy, which I gladly did, to a wonderful orgasm.

As I ate Her I could tell She was going to cum, and wondered whether She would get me to screw Her afterwards – She is very different from me, and more often than not chooses to follow on from an orgasm rather than stopping, but for some reason I had in mind that She would let me up, and tell me She’d decide I was not to cum, but would have ten strokes of the cane instead…

She didn’t. She came, pulled me up, reached for Her vibrator and took me deep into Her for a glorious fuck while She used the vibrator. I was privileged to cum deep in Her.

Christmas lunch…

When we got up She got ready for Her lunch time date – a long standing appointment planned with Dave a week or two ago.

On went Her crotchless tights, high heels, short, knitted dress and thigh high, 5 inch stiletto boots – She looked great, and naughty!

The two of them met in a pub and had lunch. While they were at it an old colleague of mine walked in, but didn’t see them – so they resolved not to snog at the dining room table!

On the way out She noticed that the toilets were down a quite staircase, so She took him down there for a snog, and he got to finger Her cunt while they kissed – so the crotchless tights did the right job.

They are trying to arrange another liaison for the Christmas period – perhaps new year’s eve – an idea that does little to give me joy!

Morning sex

I can’t help wondering if She milked me this morning to make me more docile for Her date today, or because She was feeling horny because of Her date – or just because She wanted to fuck me. Do I need a reason? Not really!

They're out now

Midnight and they're out together now. Tiny dress, crotchless tights. She told me She wants him to fuck Her up against a tree. Maybe he's doing that now. She'll be back sometime between 2:00 and 5:00. I can't wait up all that time. I'm sat here watching porn - men doing the sort of stuff to women that She wants him to do to Her, and won't let me do to Her.

More sex

This morning I was still depressed from the banana episode. She could tell I was sad, and asked what the matter was, so I decided to come out with it, and speak to Mistress about it.

I said to Her that I was sad because She no longer enjoyed having sex with me. She was furious, and recounted all the sex we have had in recent days – pretty much every day this week – but one of the episode She counted as sex was when She made me kneel in front of Her and wank while She used a vibrator and told me my wimp cock did not deserve to go where Her alpha male boyfriend put his. She made me cum in a pot and then drink my cum.

I guess that strictly speaking that could be called having sex, but its not quite the same as using a banana on Her and then fucking.

We went to our desks and went to work, when She sent me the following text:

The way I see it, you are my sub and you get sex when I say you get sex. You should be grateful for whatever sex I offer you.

I told you you will be punished for asking for sex.

Did I not tell you to ask me how you can please me? You haven't asked me even once! That's what I mean about not always being a good sub. You have to give too, not just expect to get.

I would have loved you to ask me like I told you to, how you could please me. It would have excited me and most prob lead to some great sub/dom sex. Xx instead of that I've had you miserable and mopping. Not the exact setting for sex is it? Xx

I replied:-

I am so sorry You think this is something to fight and be sad about, instead of something to share, learn from and move forward.

I see it the same way you do. I am Your sub and get sex if, when and how You decide, and am grateful for it if and when I get it.

I don't understand why You text me asking if You told me I would be punished if I ask for sex. We both know You said this so why are You asking me the question? I don't understand. You told me not to ask for sex and I've not asked.

You never said that offering to please You was an alternative way of me asking for sex. In fact You said the opposite - that pleasing You might be making tea for You, so I do not understand why You mention that in this conversation. Please explain what I have missed.

I cannot recall any opportunity I have had to offer to please You. You obviously feel I have missed some opportunities. I will try harder to offer to please You, but if You feel I ever miss an opportunity to please You then please point it out to me. Xx

She then replied:

You have missed a lot of opportunities. Yesterday when I came home and was on my blackberry, all evening when we were watching tv, this morning, last night! Opportunities are there all the time. Asking to please me could include sex and indeed anything else. It is not for you to think and decide what those things might be. You are just to ask, wait and be grateful that you are privileged enough to be the one to serve me & please me! Xx

At that point I needed a cup of tea and went to put the kettle on. Rather than offer Her tea I asked if there was any way I could please Her. She said Yes, picked up Her crack and started to message Her boyfriend while I ate Her pussy.

Half way through She told me to put my cock in Her which I gladly did. As I fucked Her She told me that he said he was going to make Her suck his suck his cock this evening and make him cum in Her mouth. She told me that She would do whatever he said he wanted, but that as Her wimp husband I was not allowed to ask for anything, and was lucky to even be allowed to fuck her.

Needless to say I soon came deep in Her, whereupon She told me to eat Her clean.

She is about to get home now to change, ready to go out with him. It’s going to be a long night tonight!

I guess this story has two morals:-

"Be careful what you ask for", and "It's good to talk"

This banana

I make porridge for breakfast every morning. We have it with a banana cut up into it, and a sprinkle of mixed nuts.

Mistress bought a bunch of bananas recently that included this monster. I took one look at it and you can imagine what crossed my mind – it is in fact exactly the same size and shape as my cock.

Years ago, before the FemDom, I’d have it up Her there and then. This time I approached it more cautiously, holding it up to Her and commenting that it looked like a cock.

‘Huh!’, She exclaimed, ‘Your not bringing it anywhere near me. In fact, if it goes anywhere, it will go up your arse. Do you want it up your arse?’

I declined Her offer, saddened if I am honest. This banana would really fit up Her pussy a treat. But She won’t let me do that sort of thing to Her any more.

I am sure that if Dave suggested he wanted to put it there, She would welcome it. The thought made me quite blue, and I was a little depressed for some time after.

Since the FemDom took over Mistress will not allow me to do anything as alpha male as use vegetables on Her. She won’t suck my cock, She rarely touches me, and more recently has taken to making me wank and drink my own spoof after I have cum as Her preferred method of me cumming.

Graphic relationship

On the whole Mistress and I have enjoyed our close, loving relationship in recent times. But as I discussed in my recent ‘box of chocolates’ update, there have been challenges.

These are caused by my jealousy of Her intimate relationship with Dave. She can see my jealousy – I withdraw from her when I feel it, as I feel betrayed by Her, so She knows about it.

Afterwards I always apologise to Her, and She acknowledges that it is the least She deserves, and She knows She is hurting me with it, but still carries on doing it. She said She felt She should end it with him.

My response to this is always the same – if She chooses to end it, then I will support Her decision 100% and be very happy with it, but I am not going to ask Her to end it.

A few days ago we were sat quietly discussing it and She agin said She should end it because it hurts me too much.

I asked Her what She thought I wanted, and She said I ‘obviously’ wanted Her to end it, even though I wouldn’t ask Her to.

We’ve had this discussion so many time. I thought that it might help if I drew Her this graph. Apologies, but I’m in IT, and I like my whiteboard!



The X-axis is the degree of ‘Dave’ in Her life.

The Y-axis is the degree of FemDom in our relationship.

The ideal direction of our life together is the line ‘A’. She gets more sexual satisfaction from Her alpha male, and I get more submission to my loving Mistress.

But, and there is a but….

The more Dave She has the more sensitive or jealous I get. The more jealous I get the less confident and dominant She becomes. The less confident and dominant She becomes, the more I feel Her only interest is in Dave, and not in the FemDom and I’m being taken for a ride – obviously the graph moves down the line ‘B’.

I said to Her quite unequivocally that I do not want to live on or below the X-axis. Anything in the red area was not for me, and if we could not live in the green zone, then I wanted Her to end it with him, and live a vanilla life together – which I would be very happy to do, as I love Her very much.

But my preference, my choice, was to live in the green zone, on or above line ‘A’.

What did She want?

She said She wants the green zone – 100%.

So we agreed, and we are clear, we choose together to live in the green zone.

And She has really started to do that! My goodness! But that story is for my next update!

Working Late

Mistress is working late today, and leaving straight for 6:00pm Pilates from the office.

These are traditionally the times when She and Dave have a quiet office in which they can go off and play together.

I know he's in the office as well today. I wonder if they are up to it now.

I want to know, but I don't want to ask. I am allowed to ask, but I don't want to. But I want to know.

If I kneel and beg for Her Crackberry when She gets home, then I will read about the liaison plans in there - because they arrange everything by BBM, but I am trying to wean myself off asking for the Crack every day.

Yesterday I asked for it, and when reading it referred to it as 'crack'. I am to be punished for doing so - She wants it dignified as 'Blackberry' or 'BBM', not 'crack'.

Is there any way I can please You, Mistress?

Mistress came up with a new rule yesterday. I am not allowed to ask for or offer any sexual services or advances whatsoever, ever. This includes offering to lick Her arse or Her pussy in the morning.

Instead I am to ask ‘Is there anything I can do to please You, Mistress’, and She will respond accordingly.

If She wants tea, She will ask for tea. If She wants me to lick Her arse or pussy, She will tell me. If She wants sex, She will tell me.

Wow! How exciting. What have I let myself in for?

I'll let you know how it goes...

What am I doing?

We have been having interesting times.  Mistress and Dave have had their liaisons, I have had my jealous spats and we have had our discussions and agreements.

This morning I sent Her this text:-

I don't have the answers but these are my thoughts, darling. Im sure I've already said this to you before...

The answer to my [jealousy] problems is in my or our acceptance of two things.

That it is he that is Your boyfriend, and not me. He is the first one that You like to flirt with, give blowjobs to, dress sexy for and kiss, not me.

That I am your much loved, cuckold, submissive husband, and not Your boyfriend. I am there to love, cuddle and support you. To honour, serve, and submit to You. I am not there for You to kiss, flirt with, text, give blowjobs to or dress sexy for. I am there to support You in all things, including Your intimate, sexual relationship with Your boyfriend (as long as You choose to pursue him).

When I fail to accept my cuckold submissive role, and his intimate boyfriend role, then I fail as your submissive and I do wrong.
Later we discussed what we want to do. She believed I wanted Her to leave Dave and be faithful to me. 

I plotted out my view of events - of course quite the opposite to the above.

How can two people misunderstand each other so much?  Thank goodness for communication!  

We communicated. We agreed a course of action where She continues to see him, and I support Her in loving, cuckold, submissive capacity. 

In future when I want to read Her BBM (I am not allowed to call it 'crack') I am to kneel and ask for it, including a statement that I will not get jealous of him because 'he is a real man and I am not, so he gets sexual attention that I do not deserve'. How She dreams up these humiliations I do not know. It is the most humiliating act to ask to read it, but of course I love Her all the more for it. 

I said to her afterwards. I love Her dearly. I want Her socially, as a friend and sexually. I do not want to push Her away to another man. 

She accepted all these things and agreed we are both clear on them. He does not replace me. I am me. Loved, submissive, cuckold husband. Just what She wants. He is sexy, intimate boyfriend. Just what She wants. So She is happy, so we are happy. 

Life's not just a box of chocolates...

Rene and m have commented regarding my cuckold angst, and I’d like to explore that a little more.

Being a submissive cuckold is painful. No doubt about that. But it is also extremely exciting. I think its like a drug – it’s addictive, and its got highs and its got lows.

I would not encourage anyone to get into it – because I don’t think everyone and every relationship can stand the pain.

Here’s a small example of where we were recently.

On the Monday before Mistress was due to go on Her date, I was a little tense and we had a bit of an argument. Sadly this happens when the cuckold angst takes hold of me.

We made up before sleeping. The next day we exchanged these messages:-

Mistress:
Hi sweets . I am really, really sorry for when I appear to being horrible. I do not mean to at all. I love you very much and you mean the world to me. XXX. Like I always remind you, it's you and only you I love. Xx

Me:
Thank You for letting me fuck You yesterday. I love You too. XXX

Mistress:
I love you fucking me. I love knowing you are hot for me xx

Me:
I am thinking about You so much today. I am so sad I cannot be the perfect sub to You and keep throwing up issues. I just want to cuck fuck You (or lick Your arse since my cock is not hard) all day for the rest of my life until the problem goes away. XX

Mistress:
I'm not sure that will make the problem go away. Sorry it makes you sad. Making you sad was never the idea. What am I doing? I must really be a horrible person to make you soooo sad just so that can have fun. I just wish you were having fun too. I've been thinking about it too and the reality is that it makes you very very sad and unhappy. Xx And I need to sort it out as it is very unfair and cruel of me to do what I am doing to you.

Me:
Interesting. So how are You anticipating "sorting it out"? Xx

Mistress:
I don't know. The obvious thing is to stop seeing him. Xx

Me:
Yeah right! I can see that happening this afternoon! Xx

Mistress:
Is that what you would want me to do? Xx

Me:
It probably wouldn't be my first choice course of action, but if You chose to do it I wouldn't try to stop You.

Mistress:
Wouldn't be my first choice either xx

After this exchange I thought and thought. What do I really want? And it was then that I wrote my story (published in the ‘Commuter Train’ post below).

I didn’t dare write it as a message to Her – so I wrote it as a story – which I later shared with Her, and She enjoyed reading, and has already started to apply – for example by making me wank myself when She got back from sucking Dave’s cock on Her date.

She is the Perfect Wife. She does these things for me. She accepted my submission at my request. She found another boyfriend, an alpha male to satisfy Her at my request after I stopped satisifying Her...

This journey is difficult. But we take it together, and we both want to take it together. Sp today I sent Her this message:

When I struggle with stuff and I query what You do, You say that You are a lousy Mistress and not good enough at domming me. In fact the opposite is of course the case - it is I that is a lousy sub - I should not be questioning anything You do, I should happily support any decision You make. Since it takes two to tango, and we must succeed together, what we should say is this: how do You (Mistress) want me to be in any one respect, and what can we both do to ensure I know my place and happily accept it? If You have failed in any way at all then that failure can only be in communicating what You expect of me, and getting me to happily accept it. Nothing else You do can be wrong, because You decide everything. Xx

Lines

I handed Mistress my lines. She was most amused, and obviously enjoyed the whole exercise.

I felt like a right plonker having to write them!

Now I just have to learn to apply them!

I exist to serve my Mistress

I accept that you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs (referring to Her ‘inevitable’ intimacy with Dave that I have struggled to accept)

I accept the decisions my Mistress makes regarding our relationships.

Snowed in

We’ve been snowed in for a couple of days so we’ve been working from home. I can’t get enough of my darling Wife, so that’s good for me. I think it’s driving Her nuts though!

It’s interesting being in the same room as Her when She’s cracking him all the time.

This morning Dave texted Her from the office. I could see it right away – She was desperate to go and join him! To give Her credit it was not until 12 noon that She finally admitted it, and got ready to leave – so now She’s gone to the office.

To be fare to Her there are a few people in the office and they are all going to pub at lunch time – and She wanted to join them – and see him.

Nightmare

Last night was a nightmare. And it continues!

When their train got in they took off in his car to a discrete spot where Mistress gave him another blowjob, then She eventually came home.

She told me very little about the date just the bare facts – She played with his cock in the train on the way there, in the pub in the afternoon (where he came) in the train on the way back and gave him the blowjob in his car – so he came twice.

He played with Her pussy lots as well, and ate Her out in the car.

I asked for more details but She said I should be grateful for what She has shared with me.

Then She would not touch my cock at all – She made me wank myself off in front of her while She told me She was not going to engage with my wimpy cock when She had Her alpha male to play with.

This morning I woke up with a hard on, and She told me to eat Her arse and then go and make tea – She didn’t touch my cock at all – I literally cannot remember when She last touched it.

They’ve been cracking all morning about what a great time they had yesterday.

She seems to have decided to make the fantasy reality. Jeez.

Physically exhausting

It is physically exhausting waiting for Her to come home. There is no longer any sexual tension in me, just sheer, physical exhaustion.

She texted to say they were catching the 6:23 in ‘about’ 8pm. At 10 past 8 I had to text Her to ask how She was doing. She replied they were delayed in an outlying town, not sure of their ETA.

She went on to say they will dismount at his local station, and he will drop Her home (Him, driving here when I’m in the house??), She will call us from the local station.

I asked why call from the station? You’ll be here in minutes. ‘Not necessarily,’ she replied, ‘I’ll call you from the station.’ Ah! I see now. They are going to dilly dally on the way. He’s going to finger Her, She’s going to suck him, he will cum in Her mouth. That might take 5 minutes or 5 hours.

I was resigned to Her returning at 8. Now She could be back any time. Not satisfied that they have been together from 2pm to 9pm, they are extending their get together indefinitely. Jeez. I’m exhausted. My cock is not even twinging.

I’ve just sent Her a cheeky text asking if She’s going to invite him in for a coffee. I don’t expect a reply. Perhaps some strokes of the cane, but not a text reply!

Lines

I am to write lines today as a punishment – that’s a first. 50 times each, as follows:-

I exist to serve my Mistress.

I accept that you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. (referring to Her ‘inevitable’ intimacy with Dave that I have struggled to accept)

I accept the decisions my Mistress makes regarding our relationships.

I better get started soon. Mistress will be back in a couple of hours…

The new punishment regime

Since I neglected to offer myself for punishment on Sunday – I should have asked Mistress if She wanted to give me the punishments I had earned – but I figured it was late and She was tired and ready for bed so did not ask – so now Mistress has changed the rules, making them extremely humiliating.

Now, rather than ask if She wants to punish me, I am to say ‘Mistress, please will You give me the punishment I have earned’ – I actually have to ask Her for it as if it is I that want it! It’s desperate! I did this last night and got 15 strokes – 5 were let off for good behaviour (I brought Her a hot water bottle without being asked).

Tonight I am due 10 for not putting my cock away when instructed this morning, and 5 for suggesting She might want to give me a blowjob – so I will have to ask her to please give me the strokes this evening at bed time – on my already cut arse – like I want them! – I am not looking forward to it!

Fireplace

The training course She went on is over and She is sat in a hotel sitting room by a fireplace having a cup of coffee while She waits for him to come. She is nervous, She tells me.

Kissing on the train

Mistress called me earlier and I asked if they kissed on the train. She confirmed that they did - they kissed like a pair of teenagers on a crowded commuter train....

Commuter train

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The cat’s out of the bag

On Friday Dave got a text from a former colleague of his.

“Are you shagging [Mistress]?”

Apparently someone in their office has told Her that he thinks the two of them are having a thing.

He was shocked. Got straight on to Mistress to ask Her if She’d told anyone about them. What a daft question!

I had always told Her that people in the office would work it out. She always said they never would. Well, here we are, now they know.

That’s a big group of people now aware of Her infidelity and my cuckold status. I tried to talk to Her about how She feels about that, but She's in denial - She thinks that because they don't have 'proof' they don't 'know' if She's shagging him and so their belief is not 'true'. How naive! But She's happy...

Betrayed by my cock

Sunday morning Mistress told me to go down and lick Her arse. This is most unusual – She normally responds to my offer, and does not offer the instruction, but I was delighted to oblige.

A little later She had me eating Her pussy to glorious orgasm, and as She came, told me She was going to cane me most severely that evening for various reasons that She would explain to me.

At bed time I followed Her upstairs. I am supposed to ask Her if She wants to cane me, and if She does, then prepare myself to be bound to the bed.

But as I did my teeth She was telling me how tired She was and standing naked by the bed, ready to get in.

I figured that in fact She as tired and did not want to cane me. Perhaps too, She realised that the intimate cuckolding was so cruel and dominant, that strokes of the cane were not necessary. And, of course, I wanted to protect my arse! So I said nothing, and we got into bed to sleep.

As we lay there, me spooned into Her back, my cock gently resting against Her lovely, soft arse, She said “You were supposed to present yourself for punishment. Why didn’t you?” and I explained that She had gotten ready for bed and I had assumed She had wanted to sleep.

“You are not supposed to assume anything,” She said. “I just forgot, and you should have reminded me. You will get double as a punishment. You will also get 5 punishment strokes for acting weird over my intimacy with Dave, and 5 because my handwash is building up to a worrying level – you must do it more often. I should never have to worry about it. OK?”

“Yes Mistress. Thank You Mistress,” I replied.

“And in future, when you are due punishment you must not ask me if I would like to punish you. You must ask for it. You must say ‘Please Mistress, Please give me the punishment that I deserve’ no matter whether I am ready for bed or not. I will decide whether I am too tired to punish you or not. Not you.”

“Yes Mistress. Thank You Mistress,” I replied.

And my cock betrayed me, rising hard against Her arse in defiance of the cruelty She had just perpetuated.

“I don’t know why Your cock is getting hard, Mistress,” I said, “there is nothing horny about asking to be punished. It should not be getting hard”

“Nonsense,” She replied, “It is communicating with me perfectly clearly. It knows that’s what you deserve.”

I offered to lick Her arse before we slept, but She declined and told me to sleep, which we did.

Handwash

We have his ‘n Her sinks. Her handwash goes under my sink for me to do. I aim to do it on Friday, but sometimes don’t get round to it. Needless to say I’ve just done it now!

Painful Crack

Yesterday’s messages from Her to him included the following exchange send from the office:-

Her: Walking past your desk just now made me think: I just want to straddle that chair and shag him! Hmm!

Him: Please do!

It hurt to read it. She tells me that She just ‘writes crap’ but that’s bollocks – you wouldn’t write that if you didn’t feel it.

This morning’s crack – he’s on a train to a local city they are travelling to together next week:

Him: Hi there. This time next week you’ll be on this train with me! We can play!

Her: Can’t wait. I’ll kiss you all the way.

That hurts too. It’s a 1.5 hour train journey, and they are going to kiss and cuddle like teenagers all the way. And he will no doubt end up cumming in Her mouth.

I am supposed to accept my submissive role, and his role as Her primary provider of sexual excitement, but its not an easy thing to accept – the fantasy and the reality are not quite the same…

Games Kit

As Mistress left the morning I asked if She was wearing a vest. She said not. I pointed out that the temperature was 1 degree. I had a thermal vest, long sleeve shirt and sweater. She has a dress.

She went upstairs to do something about it, and came down all concerned. ‘Does the vest mess up my profile?’ She asked, turning for me. Of course not. It was a tight, spray on vest.

‘You’re only worried what Dave is going to see when he unwraps You later’, I said to Her.

‘What? Like this you mean?’ She said, and lifted Her dress. She looked so good I grabbed my iPhone and took this picture. Yummy!

This is what Dave will be unwrapping in 30 minutes time. As expected, they’ve arranged a date for this evening. They don’t know where they are going, but they are going, She says, ‘to have a play’.

Off to a horny start

Last night Dave was on a roll, cracking bank and forth with Mistress as we lay together in the sitting room. In due course She told me to feel Her pussy through Her trousers, and it was like a swamp down there. He had to take a break, and She told me to go down and eat Her which I did, to glorious orgasm.

After She came She told me to strip and kneel before Her on the sofa, and then had me fuck Her while She held Her legs pointing at the ceiling. I do not recall when I was last in Her so deep – wonderful. We went to bed.

This morning, he woke up on a roll – dived straight into the porn before we were even up. Sent Her a picture of his cock, apparently taken in his bathroom this morning! Mistress replied to it saying ‘yummy, I want to suck that now!’.

He’s in the office today, so today is a short dress, crotchless tights and boots. He says he wants some action, so we shall see what the days brings.

Cuckold erection

This morning I had a huge cuckold erection. This occurred because Mistress was sat at the desk next to me arranging Her car insurance, and messaging Dave at the same time – furiously tapping away at Her crackberry keyboard.

What were they talking about? Tap-tap-tap.

Eventually She finished, kissed me goodbye and left for work.

I watched the gate. It didn’t open, and She didn’t drive out, for at least ten minutes. In that time She was sat in her car cracking him.

My cock got hard.

It gets hard because it wants to fuck him out of Her system. On and on, fuck, fuck, fuck, until She wants no one but me.

Some chance.

Coffee vs Sex

Its past 3 o’clock. They should be at their coffee date, but She’s not called me or texted to say She’s on Her way, as She usually does.

Has She been anticpating it for the past 30 minutes? Will they snog? Are they even going?

Why is a coffee date as tense for me as a forest fling?

1 pussy, 2 cocks, 6 orgasms, 2 arseholes and a coffee date

Mistress had a great time on Her ‘date’ in the forest. She got into his car in this deserted spot and they had a ball. Highlights I’ve gathered are:-

He came first, into Her mouth. While She had Her finger up his arse.

Then She came a long, long cum while he fingered Her cunt with a finger up Her arse.

He got one of Her tits out and sucked on it.

She did not remove Her skirt or panties – he worked round them.

He did not remove his trousers – he just pulled them down.

After She came She sucked his soft cock back to hardness. He wanked himself into his hand, and She licked his fingers clean.

They both loved it!

She then picked up the kids and came home. I offered to eat Her pussy and She let me, so we went upstairs to bed and I ate Her to another orgasm.

She then told me to fuck Her – instructing me not to lie on Her but to kneel and fuck Her, which I gladly did, cumming in Her.

That night he was in a hotel and got horny again, so they had BBM sex with lots of naked pictures of him from his hotel room before he came again.

Final score:-

Her 2
Him 3
Me 1

A good game, I reckon.

More coffee...

They are back in the office together again today. And already they have arranged a coffee date for 3 o’clock. After all those orgasms, they need coffee together so soon – man this thing is intimate – its disturbing. I am dealing with it by accepting that he is Her principal source of sexual excitement – only against that context can I appreciate Her inviting him for coffee already.

Forest fuck?

They’ve gone to the forest again – Mistress called me on Her way there to say they were going back to the remote car park they enjoyed last time.

I wished Her well – we chatted for ages. I commented that I would love to be fly on the wall, since it takes Her ages to leak out tit-bits of information about what they get up to.

She replied that I should be grateful and consider myself lucky that She tells me anything at all!

My goodness Her dominant streak is growing rather fast!

She’ll be in his car now. Knees round Her ears and tongue down his throat and cock in Her hand…

Cock sucking date

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Time of the month

There is that time of the month when a lady is not well disposed to sexual activity. Lasts about 5 days in our house. I am normally given a blow job during that period of time – that would be the one I was given last Wednesday.

Fortunately that period is over now, and last night marked a return to normalcy. As we climbed into bed Mistress told me to go down on Her and I ate Her to glorious orgasm. After, She invited me to fuck and cum in Her while I told Her I was Her submissive and She was entitled to Her alpha male.

Earlier in the day we had both commented that I have a harder submissive time when it is that time of the month, and I do. I think it is because I am not able to offer to and lick Her arse to mark the start of every day. When I do get to do this, I awaken clear of my place and role in our lives, and my day is clear and more pleasant. At least life is back to normal now.

Mistress was very kind when explaining to me last night why She wanted and had Dave in Her life:

“Because for years you have convinced me, and I now believe, that due to your submissive nature you are not able to give me the alpha male sex that I enjoy and deserve, and so I am allowed to go out and find it elsewhere, and that’s what he provides.

If you are saying now that you think you can and want to provide that alpha male sex, then we can try that – but we’ve tried it before, and we both know that that’s not you. And I don’t want that from you. I love you and want you as my submissive husband.”

When we discussed my difficulty during Her period, and my inability to service Her orally, She recognised the problem, but pointed out that I serve Her in many other ways that She loves:

“You make me tea, a bring me my blanket (to keep warm watching TV) you do the chores, you fetch and carry for me– you I do hundreds of little things that no other husband does for their wife, and I love you for it. You don’t have to lick my arse every day to submit to and serve me.”

She’s right of course. Thank good it won’t matter for the next 20 odd days.

So now we’ve had sex again, all appears to be well. Men! So predictable.

Cruel or dominant?

I got home from my game of racquetball at 6pm to find Mistress and the girls home, chatting in the kitchen having just arrived.

Her crackberry was on the sideboard, outside Her handbag, so that was evidently going on.

Despite all that transpired in the day, She picked it up and cracked with him in my presence, then taking it upstairs with Her when She went to change.

I had thought She might be sensitive to my insecurity, but no. Apparently not.

In a way I am grateful to Her for illustrating so clearly Her dominant role and that Her pleasure with Her alpha mail comes before my insecurities. My cock actually twitches at the thought of how cruel this is. Twitches mind. Doesn’t get hard. Just twitches.

Busy

Mistress tried to call me on Her way back in fro Her meeting, but I was on a conference call and so She sent me this text. It’s sweet. Except for the fat that She’s headed into the office where he was…

We have since been in touch, and She tells me they’ve both been busy so they’ve only exchanged the odd text between meetings…

Why do I do this?

Yesterday Dave was on a role. He and Mistress BBM’d all day as he wanked himself to orgasm at least twice over a 4 hour period (he was ‘working’ from home). I didn’t ask to see the crack, but Mistress offered it to me and I read it. The things they talked about! You would not believe! Her pussy must have been soaking the whole day.

“God you turn me on”, She said to him, “My pussy is dripping at the thought of your lovely cock ramming into me. We need to have a major fuck session soon so you can shove it in me”, and so on.

This morning I dropped the kids at school because Mistress was going for a meeting. There was a huge traffic jam on the motorway so I tried to call Her to warn Her not to take the motorway. She was still at home getting ready. I called Her iPhone. No reply. I called Her crackberry, She picked it up on the first ring. It was obviously in Her hand as the two of them had started their days crack.

She has on a short skirt and crotchless tights – they are expecting to meet up in the office later in the day.

Where do I fit in? As the provider of Her sexual excitement I don’t. I do fit in as Her submissive husband. God, it is so humiliating. The humiliation turns me on, but watching him provide Her sexual excitement kills me.

Sex, sex and more sex

This morning as I lay in bed Mistress grabbed my hard on and played with it a bit. This is quite unusual, but was, of course, very pleasant.

In due course She went down on me and gave me a blow job. She seemed pretty intent on making me cum. She paused and spoke.

‘I can never really tell whether I should give you a blow job or not’, She said. I’m going to decide if and when I should, and you won’t get any say in it. You’ll have to write it down every time I do, and I’ll give you some extra punishment strokes to make up for it’.

Needless to say I came furiously into Her mouth.

Throughout I was wondering, was She doing this to me because Dave has cum so much in Her mouth recently? Or because She wants to? If the latter, then why?

Why do I ask myself the question? She chooses to do it, and I like it. I know why She blows Dave. Because She wants to. Otherwise She wouldn’t. But why does She blow me?

I confuse myself some times. Most of the time.

Sex
Dave came again this morning as he had BBM sex with Mistress at 10am. He sent Her another cum pic (so She tells me).

More sex
At 12 noon he was ready for more, and pursuing a second shot. She’s not said ye whether he came or not. He certainly seems to be able to recover fast. The first time they had sex he came twice inside of 40 minutes.

I never used to feel this way

Mistress texted me a string of kisses at about 11:30, then called me to discuss an errand I ran earlier in the day. And I’ve not heard from Her since.

I texted her a food icon just after I ate.

It’s 2:10 in the afternoon now – She must have had a lunch break, but She’s not texted me.

Before the cuckolding this would not bother me, but now it does.

I even know Dave is not in the office today, but it still bothers me.

That’s one of the reasons why She doesn’t want me reading Her crack – because I’ll be able to see that She was in constant contact with him through the day.

I won’t ask to or look at Her crack today, unless She offers it to me in which case it would be rude to say no…

Ah. There She is with a text now – I’ll go and see what She has to say.

Difficulty accepting him

Right now I’m having a little difficulty accepting him. The constant intimacy She has towards him is difficult to accept.

She says that She loves only me, that the relationship with him is ‘just’ sex and excitement, but that I am Her loving, loved, submissive cuckold husband. Great. But not easy to just accept.

I’m not sure why I feel this way. It might be because he got to cum yesterday and I did not – even if his orgasm was ‘just’ BBM sex.

Morning ritual

At about 8:20 Mistress leaves to drive west to take the kids to school for 08:40. She drops them off, and comes back home for breakfast just before 9am. We eat together and She leaves for the office at about 09:30.

She always takes Her crackberry on this journey to school, then, after She’s dropped the kids, She sits in the car park and they BBM for a little while before She comes home for breakfast. Always.

He gets to cum

No surprises, Dave was in a meeting and was in touch as soon as he came free.

Very much in touch, in fact. Mistress got back from the gym and they started cracking. She got into the bath with Her crackberry and they texted furiously for about an hour. Fingers, arses, cocks and cunts. He send a series of pictures over time of a half errect cock, a hard one, a furiously hard one, and finally a pool of spunk in his fist as he came on himself as a result of Her efforts.

Needless to say She was delighted.

Some women love drawing sperm from a man. Have you noticed? Just like the cat that got the cream.

I am quite ambivalent about the whole experience. I’m glad She enjoyed it, but I didn’t get hard at the thought.

Round two
More disturbing was this: It turns out that last Friday after he came in Her mouth (in his car) they were sat their talking 5 minutes later, and sperm spontaneously erupted from his cock. Quickly She dived Her head down to get it all and clean him up.

Mistress never mentioned this to me when She recounted events afterwards, but Dave referred to the occurrence in his texts today, so She felt obliged to explain it all to me. ‘I’d forgotten that’ She said.

A perfect illustration of how She only need tell me what She wants, and why She would be happier if I didn’t read Her crack, so She wouldn’t have to worry about it…

I wonder what Mistress will do tonight? Has She had enough sex for today now? Or will She feel obliged to stimulate me to orgasm?

“Very quiet today”

Mistress just rang me up. She’s concerned, She’s not heard from Dave all day. She’s not texted him either… Saturday morning She said ‘Hi’, Sunday morning he said ‘Hi’, so it kinda follows that its Her turn today, but She’s not done it…

So with my support She’s texting him now to say Hi and catchup.

As I said to Her, now She knows how I feel when She talks to him all day and not to me…

If I ask Her why She doesn’t text me more, She says She’s busy (never too busy to text him though!). Now he’s at work and She’s got eh day off – the shoe’s on the other foot, but surprise surprise, She can’t see that!

What do words mean?

Are words significant? When are they significant, and when are they not? How do you decide?

Over the weekend Dave texts Mistress. He’s been to look at a BMW he’s thinking of buying. Nice, black 318i, white leather trim – really nice… “you would look great in it” he says…

‘Me?’ She says to me. ‘Why does he say I’d look great in it? I wonder if he thinks his wife would look great in it too, whether he thought about what She’d look like in it…’

Indeed. I wonder too.

Wanker

Yesterday when I was out on the golf course Mistress texted me to say that Dave was home alone, wanking and texting Her images of his cock while he did so (my words, not Hers).

When I got in She didn’t offer me Her crack to catch up on the conversation, but I took a look at is this morning – the usual exchange of hard core BBM sex that the two of them enjoy.

I wonder that She did not offer it to me to read. She’s not changed the password, so She knows I can get at it. Interesting.

At bed time She chose not to cane me, because I have been so ‘good’ where She defines ‘good’ as being happy and supportive of Her cuckolding relationship. So my arse was saved. But She claimed She was going to raise the banner, and start caning me more for not serving Her well.

She also says I cum too much for a submissive – every day or two at least. She says that is too much and She wants to introduce a payment charge for cuming – some strokes of the cane.

It could be an interesting week…

Lunch in the forest

Mistress and Dave took separate cars into the forest for their lunch date, so they didn’t get busted.

She followed him into the middle of nowhere. We spoke as She drove, and I suggested She turn him on by taking Her knickers off before actually meeting up, which She did.

She ended up in his car, where he played with Her pussy and Her arsehole. Her arsehole! I ask you! What position was She in that made that possible – I can only imagine She had Her knees around Her ears!

She wanked him and just before Her came lowered Her head to his cock, swallowing all his cum. Hmm. Lucky him!

Before She left to Her car, She noticed her makeup all over his shirt! Crisis! They tried to wash it off using bottled water from Her car, but it didn’t work.

On his way back to the office he had to stop off and buy a new shirt. I wonder what he told his wife that night!

We happened to be in the store he bought the shirt in – so I took this picture…

Which hole?

I just did an online demo of my new software product. I'm exhausted, so I'm going to play golf this afternoon.

Mistress is in Her car, driving round after Dave. They are off into the forest to put things in differnt holes...

Should I crack?

Some time ago Mistress decided to stop sharing Her crack with me. She completely stopped. She changed the password, didn’t let me read it, and told me nothing about it.

It drove me nuts and I asked Her to change this, which She kindly did – it really was driving me nuts. So now I have the password and I read every word before She deletes the history (on a daily basis).

Within a FemDom context I think this is wrong. She has a stated preference to keep Her relationship private – I can see obvious benefits to Her – She could say and do whatever She wants with him, without any concern of me looking over Her shoulder. I mean, it’s not natural having a relationship with someone, and having another party watching your every move. Also, within the FemDom context, it makes no sense Her ‘reporting’ to me.

But the privacy drove me nuts, so we ended it.

So should I offer Her it back? Or should I let things lie as they are? If She wants privacy back will She take it (as She appears to have done today)?

I don’t know. What do you think? Please take the poll.

3 o’clock

It’s nearly 3 o’clock now – time for Mistress to leave the office. In Her crack with Dave yesterday She mentioned that She did not have to go anywhere until 4:30, so perhaps they could meet up.

She’s not mentioned him today. The past few days She’s texted me to share some snippets of their crack, but not today. She’s wearing his favourite dress and the open crotched tights so there’s no way they are not cracking away like mad…

Yesterday She told me that if She met up with him, I would have to kneel naked before Her, wanking my cock, to request any details. She didn’t meet him, so I didn’t have to do that – but I can see it coming soon. Perhaps She has that in mind for today before She shares any detail of what they’ve been up to?

Tea Time

Last night we had a friend round for dinner – great food and too much wine. Mistress went up to bed at midnight, but it was 2am before I went up to bed.

(At 11pm when we were on the cheese and biscuits Dave started to BBM Mistress, and She sat round the table with us cracking him for half an hour!)

So this morning I did not want to get out of bed, so I asked Mistress if She would mid making the tea while I slept.

‘OK’, She said, ‘I don’t mind doing it, but I’ll give you ten strokes (of the cane) for it”.

I leapt out of bed. 10 cuts is not worth it. I made the tea.

This is a picture of Hr in Her red dress before She left for work this morning. Those tights have no crutch!

Little red dress

Dave is in the office today, and Mistress has worn his favourite little red dress and the crotchless tights. I guess She’s hoping for some fun.

They were due to do on a date yesterday evening but other stuff came up so they didn’t make it. I don’t think they’ll get through the day without some sort of action today.

Reading yesterday’s crack was interesting – She certainly loves kissing him – ‘I can’t wait to kiss you’, ‘I want to kiss you more, more, more’ are common themes in their conversations.

So an interesting day today I think.

A day full of cocks

This morning Mistress told me to go down and lick Her arse. This is very unusual. Normally I have to offer. But I was glad off the opportunity to give Her as much pleasant stimulation as possible.

When She’d had enough She rolled round and telling me to stay there, started to wank my cock. She got it rock hard and then leaned forward sucking it into Her mouth. She took it out and said ‘I never know whether I should suck your cock or not. It’s not a very dominant thing to do for a submissive is it? What do you think?’

‘I certainly don’t deserve it’, I replied, ‘but if You want to do it then I certainly don’t mind’.

She grunted. ‘I think I should make you pay for it. Give you some extra strokes in exchange for sucking it. What do you think?’

‘Certainly. If that’s what You think’, I replied.

She returned to Her wanking and sucking, and made me cum a monstrous orgasm into Her mouth, swallowing it all down.

****
At lunch time I went into town to meet Her. One of the iPods is playing up, and we took it to the Apple store.

‘I got a picture of his cock!’ She informed me. I stared. Incredulous. At that time of day?

‘He went to the toilet. His cock was so hard, he took a picture and sent it to me. Then he walked back into the office cool as you like and sat back down at his desk!’

I gasped.

‘It’s amazing the power I have over these cocks’, She said. And She’s right.

Sex in the forest

Yesterday when Mistress got in from Her coffee date She gave me Her crack to read.

“So, Friday we take your nice clean car into the Forest for some dirty fun. I reckon we’ll get dirtier than the car” She’d said to him, and so it had gone on.

The day before they had cracked about fucking up against a tree in the forest, and apparently at their coffee date he suggested that they drive out to the forest on Friday lunch time.

She tells she gave a non committal answer, and that its not a firm plan yet, and we should ‘wait and see’.

But after they first cracked about it Mistress told me this was a current fantasy of Hers – and She very very rarely shares fantasies – to go out with him at their office Christmas party (which is at a remote country house hotel) and fuck outside up against a tree…. So She’s definitely game for it.

Date time

This morning he cracked Her to say ‘I’m all yours today, in the office, we must make a plan’ and they chatted about what they might do.

I need to do some shopping and Mistress is working late this evening so can afford to take some time off, so I suggested we might meet up at lunch time.

She smiled. “This is awkward” She said, “You know he might invite me out and that I’ll want to go with him, but if I choose him over you, you’ll get jealous and angry.”

We discussed it, and I thanked Her for all the sensitivity She has shown me since last Friday – texting me often and being kind and loving to me. But I said to Her that as Her submissive, it was more important to me that She show me clearly where She wants me as Her submissive, and even if this means cancelling a date that She and I already have because he comes up with a plan that She prefers, then I would prefer that She does that, and simply tells me so.

I said to Her that my preference would be for Her to tell me what She wants to do – go out with him – and that She expected me to take joy in Her choice and support it and Her decision fully.

She agreed whole heartedly, and said She was very glad we’d had that conversation, and from now on that is what She would do.

We shall see.

Coffee

She’s just leaving the office for their ‘coffee date’.

She really likes this guy – likes spending time with him, talking, laughing, flirting, having sex, drinking and just being friends – ‘friends with benefits’ She calls it.

She wants me to submit to Her desire for this, and encourage and support Her pleasure. Can you believe it? And that’s what I will do.

We exchanged this text earlier today.

Blow job

This morning before sending me down to make tea Mistress kindly went down and took my cock into Her mouth, bobbing up and down, and sucking me for a while. I didn’t get to cum, but it was still nice, and I really appreciated it.

I am not allowed to ask for any alpha male sex – on penalty of punishment, plus, if I ask, She says She will never give it to me. I am only allowed to ask to lick Her arse or Her cunt.

So it was a rare treat to have Her go down on me, albeit so briefly.

I think She did it to cheer me up, because She sucked Dave off to two orgasms last week, She felt She should give me something in return…

Telling people

A few days ago we had Mistress’ sister and our nephew stay with us for a couple of weeks.

One day Mistress and Her sister went shopping with a friend in Westfield Mall for the day. I had this suspicion that Mistress was cracking Dave all day, and sure enough when She came back She told me She had told Her sister that She was having this flirtation with (but not fucking) with a guy at work, and that they texted each other a lot – She told her so that She would then be free to crack him all day when they were out together – which She proceeded to do.

A month or two ago She told one of Her girlfriends a similar thing. The army of people out there that are aware something is up is growing.

Mistress and Dave are discussing a winter away day – another train ride to a drunken, fumble of fun. She is hoping it will be arranged for a Friday soon. In the meantime, he has also suggested they drive into the forest and fuck up against a tree. She seems pretty keen on that too.

They crack about anal sex too. I fear that he is going to fuck Her arse soon, something I am not allowed to do.

The cane and the crackberry

On Sunday morning Mistress kindly let me eat Her arse before I went down to get tea. As I left to go downstairs, She asked me to bring Her crackberry up to Her with the tea.

When I got down I checked the crack, and there were no messages from him. I decided not to take it up to Her, because I wanted Her for myself.

So when I tool Her tea up and She asked for it, I said that I’d decided not to bring it up, because there were no messages from him, and I wanted Her to dedicate Her time in bed to us, or me!

“You’ve earned yourself strokes for that” She said. “It’s not up to you whether to bring it or not, it’s up to me.”

I had hurt my back playing racquetball, so I was not in good enough health to be caned on Sunday night. In fact, I had to go for physio on Sunday.

On Monday after Mistress got back from the gym in the day time, She asked if my back was better, because She wanted to give me my punishment while there were no kids in the house to hear it. She mentioned drawing blood. But my back was not well enough.

Mistress has never asked to cane me in the day. I think She really is determined to use this an example that I must do as She says.

Dave started cracking Her and She got turned on, so She called me up to bed, took of Her clothes, and had me eat Her while She had BBM sex with him. She put my cock into Her and I cam in Her as She cracked him.

Yesterday She cracked him again all day. She now refers to him openly as Her boyfriend when talking to me.

They had two dates last week – both resulting in sex. And now they are due to go for coffee after work this evening, which will no doubt result in kissing.

Ups and Downs...

Where shall I start? I guess with an apology for the lengthy silence. There have been ups and downs. Let me tell you about it.

Down
The Friday of my last post was a down. I was convinced Mistress had gone on a date with Dave and not told me. Turns out She was busy. I didn’t handle it well. She was not pleased. It was a bit of a downer.

Up
Mistress and I talked. I explained to Her that I couldn’t hack the privacy of Her relationship with him – I just could not understand it. We talked. We listened. She agreed to let me in, and tell me whatever I want to know, and let me read Her crack whenever I want – ‘I have nothing to hide’ She said, I just like doming you with the private cuckolding.

That was an up. I now read Her crack with him, and it’s smoking!

Up and Down
Wednesday last week Mistress and Dave met in a London pub. She played with his cock, he played with Her pussy. In the cab on the way back to the station she sucked his cock – in the cab!! I guess that’s an up and down! This was the second pair of crotchless tights She wore for him!

Up and Down
Friday was ‘pink’ day in the office – you could wear pink, and pay a couple of quid into a breast cancer charity. Mistress wore pink, including knickers and bra. Dave loved the knickers and bra – they met in the disabled loo – She tool all Her clothes off while he had a play, and then She went down on him. She bobbed up and down – he came in Her mouth. I guess that’s an up and down.

Crack
The crack is getting raw! The man has wanked just about every day for the last week, while cracking with Her! He’s taken to sending Her pictures of his cock when its hard – here’s one. He wanks it, so I guess that’s an up and down too…

Where are we heading?
I think we are much happier now that we are sharing stuff – I am anyway – but I think Mistress might have preferred it if it was private, but I just couldn’t cope, and the Darling Girl says most important thing is that we are both happy, so that’s where we are.

Where are we heading? We discussed that today. She wants to head down the road where our Femdom becomes increasingly extreme – She dominates me more, I serve, submit to and support Her, especially on the cuckolding front, and especially happily. I guess that’s an up. That’s what I want too.

I’ll try and keep you posted better. It’s been a challenging time. I’ll try to post every day again now…