Half Term

Mistress was off for half term – we’ve had a great time together and with the kids.

On the last day of the previous week that they were both in the office they went for lunch together ‘because they wouldn’t see each other over the week She was off’.

Today is Her first day back, and they’ve gone for lunch together to celebrate Her return.

Last night Mistress gave me the disciplinary caning She was not able to give me on Sunday because we were out, and then made me wank into the cup in front of Her while repeating that “I am the village idiot”. I then drank my cum and joined her in bed.

More text....

(Me): I read this passage over the weekend. Made me fear what life with you would be like if you were like this:-

Miss Strang then fetched a book from the shelf.

"Place your hands closer together, John. No, keep the palms face upward, please, as I asked you to do."

She then placed the book across John's outstretched palms. It covered them completely. I felt a little flutter of breathlessness as she did this. It seemed an odd thing to do, and rather disturbing.

"John, you ought to be able to exercise self-control. I expect you to stay over the arm of the chair, without struggling and without resisting. I have placed the book on your hands as an encouragement to you to keep in position. If at any time you take your hands from under the book or disturb it in any way, then you will receive two extra strokes. Do you understand?"

Text

Me (14:42): God my cock is so hard. Xx

Mistress (14:48): Oh why, what u thinking abt? Xx

Me (14:50): Do you REALLY want to know my terrible, disgusting, humiliating thoughts? X

Mistress (15:49): yes xx

Me (16:07): I was having submissive thoughts I am ashamed of. Fantasising that you decided to use the cane more to train me to be the way you want, including, perhaps, punishing me for not dealing with your BBM very well, and training me to only ever talk about it by way of offering you your phone if I notice a message has come in. Perhaps training me to not mention Dave's name unless you do first. And always using the cane ruthlessly to enforce your will. I am ashamed to say my cock is hard again thinking about it. :-( I imagine you train me to the point where I proactively submit to you so much that I point out to you that I was unable to offer myself for strokes last Sunday and offer myself the next day, because if I don't offer myself then you will punish me for not doing so. Like I said, I am ashamed of my submissive fantasies. Love you. xx

Mistress (16:10): No need to be ashamed. I like your thoughts. In fact thought similar ones re Sunday caning and abt Dave & BBM xx

Jealousy

We had a great bank holiday weekend.

Mistress was often on Her Crackberry exchanging messages with Dave.

At one point I said to Her, carefully and without angering Her, that I was jealous. That any time She spent on him was time not spent on me. I explained that just because I didn’t complain when She did it, I didn’t Her to be under any illusion that it caused me great jealousy and humiliation.

She accepted that She did feel guilty when doing it, too. But She still did it.

This morning, when She was out at the gym, I got a texted kiss from Her at 11:29.

I read it and thought Dave must be exchanging messages with Her, so She’s decided to make me happy by texting me too. So I texted back a big smile and some kisses.

That is jealousy. She texts me, and instead of me being grateful and happy She has chosen to do it, I conclude that She only did it to assuage Her feeling of guilt at Her ongoing conversation with him.

She called on Her way home for lunch and I started food preparations. I took the rubbish out to the bin, and found Her sat in Her car in the garage on Her Crackberry – obviously messaging him….

When She came in I asked why She’d felt the need to sit in Her car and do it – why not come in, sit down and do it?

She said that it was because She had started the message at the club, and was only finishing it off. Hmmm. I don’t get that, but there we go.

She put Her Crackberry down and then fought with Herself not to look at it again in front of me (my jealousy speaking again!). Eventually I took it to Her and told Her to feel free to check it whenever She wanted.

She grunted and did so.

Then She went up to shower, and left Her BB in Her handbag. I saw the light flashing – new message in, and took it upstairs and put it next to Her tea…..

“It’s just a fuck”

When Mistress was seeing David and I was getting stressed, She used to say ‘It’s just a fuck’.

Interesting idea. Of course most wouldn’t agree – ‘just a fuck’ usually = ‘just a divorce’!

But let’s explore the idea.

Mistress has kinky sex text with Dave. As a result She gets turned on, I get turned on, and we fuck more.

When She fucks me, is She thinking of him? I don’t know (although as I pounded into Her last night I suggested this, and She grunted enthusiastically!).

And what about Dave? His wife must be getting a right banging – and She has no idea why. Dave wants to fuck my Wife, but instead, he takes it out on his wife.

If his wife found the BBM sex she’d go ballistic. But I’m sure she enjoys the extra sexual attention she’s getting.

She hasn’t fucked Dave yet. She said She’s not sure if She will – She recognises the chase is probably more fun than the act. She says that when She looks him in the eye She can’t see Herself fuckign him. I reckon that’s bollocks, and She’d love to fuck him.

What if he turns out to be a disappointment? The bubble will burst and the fun of the BBM sex and flirtation will be lost.

What if he turns out to be a love machine like David was? Then She’ll have to say ‘its just a fuck’ as She goes back for more.

Oopsy!

Hmm. Silly me. And the silly green-eyed monster.

Turns out Her office spam filters blocked the email, so She never got it. And She’s not looked at the BB at all until now…. So She didn’t even know I was trying to get hold of Her.

I have eaten Humble Pie.

Sex isn't enough.

Mistress just called - at 2:07 - 2 Hours 23 minutes after I first contacted Her.

She knew She'd done me wrong, because She asked: 'Are you OK?' Of course I'm OK. The only reason not to be OK is if I'm pissed that She's ignoring me. So I sent this in reply.

I suspect She won't see the message - because I sent it to Her iPhone - and She's only interested in Her Blackberry these days.

If She calls to talk (and I think She night not, actually) then I'm not sure I'll answer Her call.

It's just sex

Yesterday Mistress got home (after her day with the lunch date) and hit the Blackberry all the time – non-stop until about 9pm. Read, smile, text, chuckly, text, and so it went on.

She never did let me see it.

When we put the kids to bed, and I was alone with it in the room, I checked quickly to see if She’d changed the password. She hadn’t. I read.

“Oh god. I’m cumming, my cum is all over your dick.”

“Gosh yes, that feels good.”

Etc. I could read it for long. But it was explicit BBM sex.

Just before I picked it up, he’d sent a text She hadn’t read:-

“I’m playing” it said. Because I didn’t have long, I could get to see the context, but I think he meant he was wanking.

When She got down, She spotted that I must have opened the BB up – because this message She’d not read was not showing as unread.

She asked if I’d read it and I said yes. I said She’d not changed the password, so I’d read some of it.

She changed the password there and then. End of that.

Later at night in the sitting room I asked if I could play with my cock while I told Her how humiliating and pathetic I felt about Her having text-sex with him, not me.

She got me to play with Her pussy. OMG! It – was – soaking! I have never felt it that wet in my life!

She said it was because of the phone sex, and that may be true. But I think he may have fucked Her over lunch, because it was soaking.

She wanted me to go down on Her, and I did, eating Her to orgasm. Then She had me fuck Her – in the sitting room again. As I fucked her She told me the disgusting things they had texted about – I can’t even remember them – they were mind blowing, and I came deep in Her.

This is the second day running we’ve fucked in the sitting room. We haven’t done that once inside the last two years. And, as She said, this is the first time I’ve cum in Her 3 times in 24 hours in longer than either of us can remember.

We went up to bed.

This morning when She came down for breakfast, first stop was the Crackberry. ‘Oh!” She said happily, big smile, “8:30 in the morning and I’ve got a ‘Good Morning’” She took time out to send a reply, and Her day started.

11:45 this morning I sent Her an email – to Her office. No reply. I called the office, She didn’t pick up. I called Her mobile, She didn’t pick up. I texted Her Blackberry, She didn’t reply.

At 1:45 I was getting worried, I called Her mobile. It went to answerphone. I called Her Blackberry, She picked up. At last. We spoke.

How many text messages do you think She exchanged with him between 11:45 and 1:45 while I couldn’t get hold of Her? I wonder.

But now She’s changed the password, I’ll never know.

Lunch time chat...

Blood all over the floor

It was madness in here last night.

After She got home She went upstairs to change. 19 minutes later I noticed Her BB was gone, and I went upstairs, to see if She was using it. As I went up the stairs I glimpsed Her in one of the kids rooms, texting him. She hadn’t changed.

In the hope that I hadn’t seen and wouldn’t notice, She dropped the BB onto a chair in the kids room, rather than walk out holding it.

I concluded that She’d actually gone up to get away from me and text him in private.

I challenged Her on this (very politely) – why try to hide it from me?

Of course She didn’t like that – She “dropped the BB where She did so that I would pick it up” (!!) “Why was I mistrusting Her?” She was “going to tell me all about what they had said that day” Etc etc etc. It got quite ugly for quite a long time. There were distinct throwbacks to the difficult times of David at his peak…

At 2am I put Her hand on my cock and asked Her to hold it. I apologised for challenging Her, and I suggested to Her that we introduce the understanding that Her relationship with him (or anyone else) was solely for Her pleasure and not for mine. That She would change the unlock codes on Her iPhone and BB so that I could not unlock them, and that I would be forbidden from asking for the codes or for any details as to what traspired between Her and any of Her men, ever.

She agreed, and we fucked to consummate the agreement.

In the morning I woke up hard again and fucked Her again, as I asked Her what had transpired the day before that She ‘was going to tell me about’.

She told me I had no right to ask, and that She would think about it and may punish me tonight for asking.

In the meantime, while I thrust into Her She told me that he is off tomorrow, and so today is actually the deadline for his challenge to pull Her close to him and give Her a kiss – a challenge he said he would fulfil today.

She’s left for work looking absolutely stunning. She’s just texted to say She’s off for lunch with him. She’s not mentioned the challenge or any conversations they’ve had today, and when She comes home I won’t be able to ask.

So I didn’t have the guts to shut up. But I’ve got my secret wish – There is no longer any expectation that She will share with me, and I am forbidden from asking – Her pleasure is Hers alone except to the extent, if any, that She chooses to share it with me.

This should give me peace at last.

We haven't fucked twice in one night since I was a lad!

The guts to shut up

Mistress just called me on Her way to school to pick the kids. We had a chat. She’s looking forward to reading Her book in the school car park while She waits for the kids to come out.

We didn’t talk about Dave. I didn’t mention him, and neither did She.

I wish I was forbidden to raise him as a topic. It would be much easier for me.

As it is, I am free to ask if I want – but I don’t want to burden Her with my worries, to detract from Her enjoyment.

And then if I don’t ask, She thinks I don’t want to know. But of course I do. I want to know everything.

It’s a no win situation.

If She did ban me from asking, and then never told me, I’d never know anything.

But I’m going to try it – I’m going to not ask about him in future.

Mind matters

I just texted Her: ‘Is Her boyfriend in the office enjoying Her company?’ (he goes out to work quite a bit).

“as always xxx” She texted back.

It occurs to me, this guy actually spends more time in communication with Her than I do. They spend the whole working day in the office together flirting on IM (when they are not out having coffee or lunch).

She used to tell me what he’d said in the day – how much he’s loved Her dress, or how nice Her new haircut was. But not any more.

Much of the time I spend with Her we are in bed asleep.

OK. I agree. I’m the lucky one – I get to sleep naked with Her every day, and have sex with Her every other day or so. But he’s still pretty lucky too. He has Her mind more than I do.

Deadline Friday

Mistress told me that when She met with Dave yesterday he said he must organise an opportunity to pull Her close to him and hold Her tight (an expression they had used while having BBM sex – which, apparently, he also said he wants more of).

She said that was fine, and She’d like that. But, She said, She’s off for a week from close of business Friday, so She suggested he better make the time before then…

BBM Sex Day

Last Thursday – the BBM (Blackberry Messenger) sex day Dave and Mistress started texting each other at 10:30 in the morning, and they exchanged text message every 1 to 20 minutes through the day until 7:30pm.

I texted Her at 12 noon and again at 1pm and didn’t get a reply until 1:30. She was too busy having BBM sex with Her boyfriend to notice my text.

When I pointed this out to Her She denied it, said I was talking nonsense, She was just too busy to look at Her ‘phone all the time.

But the facts speak for themselves.

His cock was “this” big

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Secret fantasies

I wonder if or when She will start to meet him for coffee in secret. She’s never done so so far, and I’m not sure She ever will.

She mentioned today’s coffee date on Thursday, and has not mentioned it since. I’m sure She knows I’ve not forgotten – but She’s not reminded me. She didn’t call on Her way there, and has not called (yet) to say its over and She’s on Her way to school.

I don’t think She’ll ever have a secret coffee. But She could, and I’d never know.

In my fantasies, She has many secrets:-

Secret coffee – She stops telling me about Her coffee dates – after the event She might mention it: “Last week when I was having coffee with Dave….”

She forbids me, on penalty of punishment, from asking about coffee dates. Or any dates for that matter.

Secret text messages – She changes Her passwords on Her Crackberry and Her iPhone so I can’t get in to them. She forbids me from ever asking who She is texting, or talking about texting him.

She mentions it if She wants: puts Her phone down and chuckles: “That guy is mad” She says. That’s it.

Secret sex – She starts screwing him, and never mentions it to me unless She wants to. 5pm text: ‘I’m going to meet Dave. Back home late. Food in fridge for you’. Or She just tells me to go down on Her in bed, and I notice that Her pussy is full of cum.

She forbids me from talking to Her about sex with him, or anyone else.

Of course there is one secret: That's I've not shared these secret fantasies with Her.

Smokin’ Blackberry

Last week Mistress and Dave appeared to have taken most of the day off – to text each other on their Blackberries.

As She said when She finally let me see Hers, they were having BBM sex, and boy, were they just!

“I undo the zip of your trousers and your cock jumps out. I wrap my fist around it.”

“I push your dress up and put my finger in you. You are so wet. I go down and kiss you there. I can’t resist it”

That sort of thing.

She was horny as fuck when She got home – I was the beneficiary of that!

They’ve been at it ever since.

And now they’ve gone for coffee (again). Their first private face to face time since the BBM sex.

Interesting to see what transpires.

Yesterday She cleared Her BBM history, so I was unable to see what they were chatting about. I don’t know if She did this so I couldn’t see, or just as routine housekeeping. I’ll never know.

Infidelity

We were at a house party recently when another mum tells Mistress that an old school friend is hitting on her via Facebook, and she’s loving it. She wanted Mistress to get the hostess’ lap top from her, so that she could go and Skype with this guy in a spare room during the party!

“I love my kids. I love my husband. The sex with him is great. But I just can’t help myself. I want more. Am I bad?” She said to Mistress.

Well, Mistress knows all about the delights of the chase and excitement of extra-marital sex, so She was not the best person to ask this question.

I don’t know the woman in question, or her husband. But it’s a true story. Happened only 3 weeks ago.

Plain sailing

Apparently the coffee was quite uneventful. They chatted about work and stuff, and only flirted briefly, to agree that they must ‘set up’ the private time/date at which he can give Her Her kiss.

Last night he travelled away on business. The two of them texted into the night as he sat alone on the train he was on. A bit of flirting, a bit of talk.

Although She denies it, Mistress is definitely pushing his boundaries fairly hard. She does not want their relationship to stagnate into a platonic one. Though She claims She does not want to fuck him either.

I think She’s getting used to him, starting to like him more, and has actually decided She wants to fuck him, but just struggled admitting that to me or Herself.

Anyway, he’s away for the rest of this week, so its plain sailing time for me – at least I know She’s not spending the day meeting him for coffee and lunch dates!

Coffee time...

She's good to me.
She called as She walked across to meet him at the coffee shop. They've not got long, as he's got to be back to a meeting in 10 minutes.

Apparently he's out the office the rest of the week, so he didn't want to miss out on this opportunity (to press home his current advantage - my words those!).

My Text Release

I couldn't help myself. I had to ask. But I did it subtly! I got away with it - we're both happy.

When is a secret not a secret?

Mistress had Her hair cut very short this weekend.

Last night, She let drop that within minutes of walking into the office, Dave IM’d Her to say how much he liked the new hair cut.

She didn’t tell me this during the day. Or in the evening when we first chatted, but fairly late at night, after some time.

I appreciate Her saying this is not the most significant event of the day (I’m sure the Red Shirts in Thailand would agree with that!) But to me it is significant.

And now.

Have they been for their coffee yet?
If so, did he kiss Her? Put his arms around Her? Hold Her?
If they’ve not been for coffee yet, then why? And has he flirted with Her? Continued the overt banter started yesterday?

Perhaps they’ve been for coffee. Had the kiss and the light touch. Discussed when they might get together. They might have made that date She was trying to line up for Friday afternoon drinks.

When will I know that which She chooses to tell me? Seems wrong to ask. I feel I should wait.

I think its starting to happen

When I got in from the gym last night Mistress was sat in the family room texting furiously on Her Crackberry. ‘Dave’. I figured, and waited to see if She’d offer it to me to read. She didn’t. At least not for a while anyway.

Every 30-40 seconds they’d exchange another message, and so it went on.

Eventually She gave me the Crackberry to have a read of their conversation, which had been going on since 11am.

She smiled as She informed me She’d managed to draw him out of his shell into some direct flirting, when he was stone cold sober. She obviously saw this as progress.

Sure enough they were texting away about good and bad boys, good and bad girls, and kissing and cuddling each other.

I can’t see the guy going back from here. The door is wide open now, and he can only build on it.

They are having a coffee date this morning, so it’ll be interesting to see how he builds on their conversation from yesterday. The overt sexual nature of their relationship is out now, and he can more openly pursue the stated objective of his texts last night – to get Her on Her own where he can get his hands and mouth all over Her (I think that’s the polite way of saying shag Her!).

Fucked to death

In bed Mistress was kinky and spread Her legs for me to finger Her. As I did She made me confess all my most sordid Femdom fantasies. She let me put it in Her before going down on Her, and then fucked me until I came, before telling me to go down and eat Her to glorious orgasm.

Gosh there was a lot of groaning in our bed last night. My cock has still not recovered. Wonderful.

She left this morning with new high heeled shoes and a tiny little skirt. He’s going to enjoy his coffee date…

Unusually dominant

Yesterday we took the kids to London to see the Houses of Parliament, Number 10 and Buckingham palace. The recent change in government had provoked a bit of a civics lesson that we all enjoyed.

So it was late before Mistress and I finally got up to bed - 12:45 am.

I asked, because I am required to, if Mistress wanted me to present myself for strokes. To my surprise She answered Yes. I’d thought that due to the late hour She might choose not to.

I presented myself, bound on our bed as usual.

She gave me 15 disciplinary strokes, as usual, and then gave me 5 more, harder ones, as punishment for criticising Her earlier in the day.

I thanked Her and we slept.

As my cock hardened into Her arse under the sheets She felt round to my arse, rubbing the stripes She had laid on it. “Hmm!” She said “I can feel the stripes! Nice!” She’s never done or said anything like that before.

She commented on my hard-on that was pressing into her back, and told me that next time I was naughty She would forbid me from touching Her. She told me to get out of bed, get up and wank into a pot, and drink my own cum.

I got out of bed and went to get a container from our dressing room. She told me to stand in the light in there facing Her, and wank where She could see me.

‘Play with yourself. Wank your cock, like the village idiot that you are!” She instructed me from under the covers as She watched.

As I wanked for Her She made me say humiliating things like ‘I always play with my cock because I am the village idiot’ and apologise for criticising Her earlier and the like. I humbly did as instructed.

Eventually I came in the pot and drank it, but She told me to lick it clean inside, so I stuck my finger into the pot and scrapped up all the cum, licking it off my finger before washing it, putting it away and getting into bed.

This is unheard of behaviour for Her. I can’t figure it.

She has never:-

i) delighted in the cuts She placed on my arse before,

ii) made me wank in front of Her quite like that,

iii) humiliated me making me say humiliating things, and

iv) threatened to withdraw access to Her body.

Of course I was in submissive heaven. Anything She wants because She enjoys, I want too.

But I do wander what change this marks. If any. Very odd. I’ll keep you posted here.

Lucky me!

Mistress has had a hard day and fancies a drink of wine!

Lucky me! I get to go to the pub with Her!

So long.

My ears are burning

As I sit here working, my ears are burning with humiliation. The two of them are out together, having fun, enjoying a glass of wine and goodness knows whatever else, and I’m stuck at my desk.

Mistress and I discussed the Tuesday coffee on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and it wasn’t until Thursday that she ‘mentioned’ that he’d put his hand round Her waist and kissed Her on the cheek.

All I will ever know is what She chooses to tell me.

I wish I was the jock stud, wining and dining some gorgeous bimbo and putting my arms round Her, but I don’t want any other bimbo. I want Her.

What are they saying? What are they doing?

They’ve probably been in the restaurant for an hour and a half by now. Chatting, smiling, flirting, talking.

What are they saying? What are they thinking and doing?

Which bits will She choose to share with me?

Acceptance & Denial

Mistress and I do discuss other things, not just Dave. But this blog is my release valve mechanism for our FemDom relationship, so you’ll understand why our conversations about Dave get a bit more focus than other things…

Today is lunch date day. Just the two of them. Last night as we lay in bed Mistress said “I’m going to kill him by wearing my little red dress.”

Interesting.

Now, if She’d put on the little red dress, and then I’d said She was dressing for him, then She’d have been defensive – She maintains that She dresses for Herself, not for him! She was very put out last time I suggested She’d dressed for him a few weeks ago…

But now She confessed, She’s wearing it for him. He always comments when She wears a dress. She usually wears trousers, but She looks equally hot in either.

So this morning, hot grey/black tights She put on first. Made Her legs look GORGEOUS! Then the little red dress. It’s from Marks & Spencer, but She tells me they no longer make dresses that short at M&S – apparently they just don’t do them any more. She would know. I wouldn’t.

So. It’s 12:30 now. They’ll be leaving for their lunch date soon if they haven’t already gone.

Dave already had a lunch appointment with another guy in the office for today – but he cancelled that to do lunch with Mistress. The other guys is asking why Dave cancelled, but he’s not getting any answers. The word will be out in the office soon, if it isn’t already, about how much those two do lunch & coffee.

Mistress said this morning that She’s not going to fuck him – She wants to retain the friendship. She said that the way She’s going to avoid fucking him is to avoid putting Herself in a situation where it might happen – for example in a hotel, or hotel room. “That’s what I’m going to try”, She said.

Note the word ‘try’. I think She’s subconsciously decided already, but won’t admit it to herself even, that She’s going to shag him. Probably not today though. Today is just lunch.

So much to say...

There is so much to say today. It all goes together. If I leave any bit out then you don't get the full picture. I hardly know where to start, so I'll just take my time and spill it all out.

Kiss

This morning we were chatting about how Mistress’ relationship with Dave will unfold. I was maintaining that he wants to fuck Her, and She was going on about its just friendly – although She is now realising that its more than that – that he is ‘chasing’.

She said how She enjoys that the first thing he does when he gets in to the office is IM Her – ‘Hello C’, he says. ‘It’s nice to be the first thought in his mind when he gets to work.’ She says, ‘I like that’. Makes sense.

She’s worried that after the disaster of shagging Chris, who was such a lousy lay, that if she fucks Dave and its doesn’t go well then they’ll loose the ‘special’ friendship they have developing – and She’d prefer to maintain the excitement of the chase and the friendship. Makes sense too. But he’s a guy, and guys like to fuck.

She said that She recognised that David was a one off – an exceptional lover who fucked Her like crazy like very few if any others ever will – She said She does not expect anyone to ever match up to that, and therefore She’d rather not try, and spoil it. Makes sense too….

Apparently, She confessed, this morning, that on Tuesday when they went for coffee, as Dave entered the café he put his arm round Her waist and gave Her a peck on the cheek. A liberty that She noted he took, and thought ‘Uh huh! I know what you’re doing!’ So how come, on that same Tuesday when telling me about it, She tried denying to me that he wants to shag Her?

So on Tuesday, this guy establishes that he can put his arm round Her waist and kiss Her on the cheek, and on Thursday She tells me. Interesting.

Time

I had another crawl through Her Crackberry yesterday. I’m addicted to it too – I just have to see if they’ve chatted, how much and what they’ve said – what who said to who. It’s terrible. But I can’t resist it.

They’d started sending messages at 10 am, as soon as She got to the office, and they were still doing it at 7pm by which time She was back at home. The traffic was two ways – an even exchange of flirty and fun messages between them.

I have curtailed the number of messages I send Her through the day – She complains that She is too busy to chat to me all day. Obviously not too busy to chat to him though…

If I’m honest, I resent the time She spends chatting to him. Why doesn’t She spend it chatting to me?

Yesterday evening She told me about Her ex who started to text Her in the middle of day. He had the day off, so he had nothing better to do than exchange kinky messages with Her and they did – She told him how I’d gone down and licked Her arse that morning, and other equally personable things. This ex is the one who took Her anal virgnity.

She’d spent quite a while texting him as well – so between the two of them they got a right load of messages, and I got one, asking me to send Her a photo I’d taken of one of the kids that morning…

A buddy of mine maintains that there are five men in every woman’s life:-

1. A sperm donor to father her children. Selected for apparent brilliance.

2. A soul mate to talk through life. And to help her understand men.

3. A lover that gives her sexual gratification and excitement.

4. A husband to give her a name: ‘ Do you know my husband? He’s such a …’, and

5. A funder to pay for all of life’s niceties that She ‘needs’.

Lucky is the man that is all five men to his woman.

I used to be all five. But since David She has found both the sexual gratification and I think even more so the sexual excitement more outside the matrimonial home.

As She said to me this morning, She loves the chase and the flirtation, all day every day from him, not knowing where it might end up.

I no longer provide that, and that’s why She doesn’t want to text me all day. I simply don’t offer the same level of excitement as other men do.

Domination
Years ago, before we got into the FemDom thing, She used to always, always, always wash my cock when I was in the bath. She would soap Her hands and luxuriously wash it, often choosing to make me cum, but not always, particularly if She fancied a nice, hard cock to herself later.

But after a while living FemDom I said to Her that I didn’t feel it was right, Her spoiling me like that – I said I didn’t feel worthy of such special time and attention, of such a gift from Her to me every day. She agreed. And so it stopped.

But yesterday I lay in the bath chatting to Mistress who was stood next to me and I asked Her if She’d like to wash my cock. She clearly didn’t want to, but She didn’t just come out and say it. I could see She didn’t want to, and so I quickly interjected that She needn’t do so, and that I’d be equally happy to just have a kiss, so She gave me a little kiss instead, and we were both happy.

But I wished for more. I wished She had replied to me to say ‘Yuck! No! I don’t want to wash your dick. Don’t ask me to wash your dick ever again. If I want to wash your dick I’ll do it, and if I don’t I won’t. So stop asking.’

I want Her to change the passwords on Her phone’s and ban me from asking Her anything about any text’s She sends to any of Her men friends. I want Her to be the sole judge of what to tell me about those texts, if anything. I want to be prohibited from ever asking about what transpired between Her and any other man – to merely be the recipient of any graceful news She cares to drip down to me.

I want to be caned most severely for ever suggesting any sexual act or asking any question about any other man.

My cock is so hard now thinking about this. I’d love to live like that. I think. Not. I don’t know.

Orgasm
I was thinking those thoughts as we got into bed last night. So my cock was hard and She noticed as She got in next to me, and She reached across to play with it.

Her delicate hand wrapped round it, and felt soooo good as She stroked up and down.

I groaned with pleasure as I said how nice it felt, and thrust my hips up to meet Her hand.

I thought all about how I’d love to be treated as a sexual inferior as She stroked my cock.

I wondered if She would ask, as She so often does, what I was thinking as She played with me? If She did, then should I tell her the truth? Should I offer up that truth whether She asked or not?

Would She fuck me, or make me cum with Her hand? I groaned again – how good it was. How sweet it felt.

I kept my mouth shut apart from the groans and the thanks for how great it felt, and She brought me to a crashing orgasm over my belly. We wiped it up and slept in each others arms. Life’s good. Why change it.

What happened yesterday?

Mistress picked me up from home yesterday evening and we went to school to pick up the kids.

Breaking the news

As we drove, She told me about Her coffee date with Dave and I was a little jealous. The following questions crossed my mind:-

1. Why had She not told me before the coffee?
2. Why had She chosen to spend time after work with him, and not with me?
3. How many times a week could the two of them have coffee, for goodness sake?
4. How long before he starts fucking her?

But I played it very cool with Her, as I don’t want to be seen to be bitching.

But as we discussed it, and She told me all about the platonic chat they had had over coffee, and I asked Her if he flirted with Her at all, She said that he had not, and that increasingly they were ‘just friends’.

Well, you will understand my scepticism over that! The guy has kissed Her and drank wine with his hand up Her shirt for hours, talking about what he’d do to Her if he ever got Her naked! Platonic? Please!

But She insisted, so I didn’t argue.

She got upset with me – in a very subtle, indirect way. Either She was upset anyway, or my intimation that they were flirting upset Her (even though they are!)

I kept cool. No need to rock the boat. But She started to treat me like shit, as only She can when She is upset. Nothing overt, all covert stuff. Just being a little rude and 100% argumentative over everything I say.

But I took it all in my stride. I figured that deep down She feels guilty because She is flirting with him, so I cut Her some slack.

Mo’ Crack’

Then a couple of hours later when I got back from the gym She had been texting him on the Crackberry. This has never happened from home, but it sure happened last night, quite a bit.

And then suddenly this text came in that She felt was ‘different’ – She showed it to me ‘:would She take the day off tomorrow and go to the beach with him?’ They were both busy the next day, so the request was obviously in jest, but She showed it to me and commented that ‘Oh! He is in fact now flirting’. What a surprise!

She was delighted, and flirted back: ‘Yes! If he would make the sun shine, She’d take the day off and go to the beach with him.’

Early night…

That night as we watched telly She continued to treat me like shit, and eventually I kissed Her goodnight and went up to bed. No point in sticking around to just be shat on…

This morning I offered to lick Her arse, and She accepted. I figured I don’t want Her getting out bed thinking I’m in a bad mood with Her. I still love Her and submit to Her, and what better way to show it, so I licked and tongued Her arse and She loved it!

And so the day started.

That skirt!

She dressed for work in the most amazing tight, knitted skirt with a slit up to just above the knee. It makes Her arse and legs look just wonderful! Grrrr.

I knew, because we had talked about it yesterday, and I’d seen the texts, that Dave was not due to be in the office today. It’s a good job I knew this, because otherwise, this skirt was sooo hot, I’d have been insanely jealous that She was dressing for him – as it was, I did not think this – and She confirmed it, saying that She did not expect to see him today.

But I’ve just texted Her, and he has made it back to the office in time to see Her in it…

Fallout

So what happened yesterday? I’m not sure. Did my jealousy get the better of me? I don’t think so. Is it that time of the month when I must suffer as we men do? Maybe.

When this happens, and She treats me badly, it hurts. It’s so unnecessary. She can do what She wants, so there is no need to treat me like shit. And if She wants to treat me like shit, then She can choose to do so – She is the boss, She can tease, bully, ignore or dom me however She wants. So I hate it when She treats me like shit and is NOT dommeing me when She does so.

If She can’t cope with talking to me about Dave, then why does She tell me? Why does She not change the password on Her Crackberry so I can’t get into it, and forbid me from raising the subject, if She finds it a touchy subject?

I don’t get it. But I don’t get to make the rules. If I did, they would be logical.

But, for all James Brown sang, its not a man’s world!

Coffee Mountain

Mistress just got in.

They had ANOTHER coffee together this evening.

She claims its just platonic, and they are just friends, and all the sexual expectation is gone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Meantime he’s cancelled an earlier lunch date and they are having lunch together on Friday as well.

She didn’t tell me they were going for coffee before She went. Or after She got back. It was almost like She told me by mistake…

Crackberry

It’s Monday & Mistress doesn’t work on Mondays.

For weeks if not months now She’s stopped carrying Her office Blackberry when She’s off duty. But She’s got it with Her today.

Are they messaging each other?

Telling him

On Friday evening Mistress gave me an animated account of Her coffee date with Dave.

Apparently he told Her he was playing soccer that evening, and then going out for a drink with the gang. He hinted it would be nice if only She could join him.

I waited for it. She and I were going to her girlfriends for a party that night – it would be all too easy for Her to go from there into town to meet him. But to my surprise She didn’t suggest it to me.

She’s not told him we live a FemDom life. She says She doesn’t want to tell him this. But my betting is that She will tell him, and sooner rather than later, because once She does, then setting up this sort of assignment becomes so much easier.

I hope She does tell him. Then I hope it turns him on, and that he decides he wants to get in on the dominating me act, and that he really encourages Her to shit on me constantly from a great height. Including eating them both clean after the regular fucks I would hope to develop.

I’m selfish.

Coffee Date

She’s just called to say She’s walking across for their coffee date.

We discussed a few things about it:-

What if they are seen?

Last time they didn’t hide it – they met in the office reception and walked out together. ‘No big deal’. They just didn’t announce it.

This time they’ve left separately – he’s packed up for the day, and She’s just left for 30 minutes.

So if they are seen this time then anyone doing so will know something’s up…

Manwatching

Last time, he sat with his knee fairly close to Hers. I talked to Her about personal space (I’m a big fan of Desmond Morris’ ‘Manwatching’ book) and about how anyone alert to it would spot it if they were seen sat in each other’s space.

She was fascinated. Wants to read the book. I should buy it for Her.

What do you think? Take my poll.

Wild sex

Last night as I lay with Mistress watching telly I stroked Her leg through Her tight, black leggings. Her leg is a truly a thing to admire. My cock got hard, and I started to think of engaging my master plan – to have wild, David-esque sex with Her in the sitting room, lasting two hours or more.

She ignored the hard-on poking out of my pyjamas, yawned, and declared Her intention to go to bed. So we did.

As I lay naked curled up with Her in bed, ashamed of my failure to seduce Her, yet luxuriating in the pleasure of Her naked body, I made my more typical move.

“Would you like me to eat you?” I asked, and She said yes.

She raised Her leg, laying comfortably in the bed, and I licked my finger and toyed with Her pussy, my cock pressing against Her tight butt cheek. She squirmed appreciatively and I toyed with Her more.

I asked if I could put my cock in before I ate Her, and She said yes. I do find this so appropriately submissive – to have had my cock in Her before I go down and eat where my cock has just been, so I eagerly rutted into Her.

She groaned delightfully as manoeuvred in and out, enjoying it all the more for the obvious pleasure She was getting.

My mind wondered as my body thrust. Would She ask what I was thinking, as I pumped? If She did, what would I answer? What was I actually thinking?

She didn’t ask, so I didn’t have to answer.

My pressure rose, as did Her moans.

I was going to have to ask whether She would like me to cum in Her before I ate Her out, because we were both clearly enjoying this, and I did not want to stop. But She pre-empted me.

“Cum in my pussy. Then eat me clean. Until I orgasm!” She instructed.

I did. She held my head and directed my tongue and lips as She wished as She thundered to orgasm after me.

We slept. I felt vindicated. We had the kind of sex we have. We both loved it. The one in the sitting room is David’s, not mine.

Close shave?

Last night Mistress mentioned the coffee discussions, and said She’d set up for a coffee with Dave later this week.

Over the weekend we went for a party, and one of the girls from Her office was there. They spoke about an extra marital affair that Dave is supposed to have had with another of the girls in the office, and Mistress told me about it later.

I wondered if She felt a little jealous.

Anyway, that night as I fucked Her from behind I wondered at what’s going to happen in a few days, weeks or months time when the office picks up on the two of them. All the gossip will be about how they’re shagging, and my cuckolding will become general knowledge or generally suspect across Her office and then out to our friends.

How will that affect me? My cock was rock her as I pistoned in and out of Her thinking of this. The submissive humiliation in everyone knowing that She chose to fuck another guy and thus cuckold me has got to be the ultimate turn on.

I spoke to her about this last night – but She claims She’s not about to shag him, and if She does, that know one would ever know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Meantime, the two of them spoke yesterday about an away trip to Cambridge. Turns out a few people from the office went up there last night for an overnight trip ready for some bug meeting today. Mistress could have gone. Dave went. The two would have been in the same hotel overnight.

They were kicking themselves that they did not spot this opportunity and manage it better before hand.

As I cuddled Her last night I told Her that their loss was my gain, and that I appreciated all the more having Her in my arms rather than away in his.

I gave Her arse a good licking this morning to make Her feel good. I do so like to send Her off to work with a well licked arse.

More coffee in Her Blackberry

I snooped round Mistress’ Blackberry again yesterday. There was a lengthy exchange with Dave setting up a coffee for later this week. Lots of smiley faces and exclamation marks. No kisses in it.

She’s not mentioned it to me yet. I wonder why. I can hardly ask, can I?

First anniversary

I am one year old today as a Cuckold. It is a year now since Mistress went clubbing with Her work colleagues and met David.

It’s been an interesting year.

This is the outfit She was wearing the night She met him. No wonder the guy hit on Her. (Sorry I had to cut Her face of the picture, but...this is real life you know!)

Their relationship has not developed in the way we expected. This time last year She invited him to join us a friends birthday party, then She wanted to bring him home and fuck him after. But he’s never become that close in our lives. Probably a good thing for my sanity!

Coming Clean?

Last night when we were lying in each others arms chatting and drinking wine, Mistress told me about a conversation she’d had with Dave some weeks or months ago.

She was about to leave the office to go for her regular waxing and they were chatting on IM. The long and the short of it is that by hints and innuendo She let him know She was going for a full waxing, and he let Her know that he likes a little hair to be left ‘down there’.

She was clearly titillated at the memory. But here She was telling me about it weeks or months later.

That’s the thing about Her seeing other guys – at the end of the day I only know what She chooses to tell me. What She does not choose to tell me, I don’t know.

(The picture is of Her pussy – this is how She keeps it).

Coffee time

It’s 4 o’clock now – coffee time. Mistress told me they were going to sneak out the office and go across the road for a coffee.

She said She was not going to tell anyone where She was going- just get up, go and be back 30 minutes later.

I said someone in the office is going to notice, or spot them – they’ll never get away with it – both simply absent for 30 minutes from an open plan office. People aren’t stupid. But that’s what She’s doing.

I don’t mind if people do find out – I don’t mind Her colleagues knowing I’m a cuckold, if that’s what they think. I would never tell them myself, but if it gives Her pleasure then fine.

So the two of them will be sat opposite each other in the coffee shop, smiling, flirting, and giving each other their individual attention. Mistress is wearing a skin tight, white body suit (‘Does it show off my body nicely?’ She asked this morning before She settled on the garment) and tight, brown jeans. Looking hot.

He’ll be checking out Her body, playing Her like a fish, biding his time before he finally strikes and gets to bed Her. She’ll be remembering grabbing his hard cock as they canoodled in the pub. Smiling at him. He’ll get hard. She’ll get wet. Sounds like a good coffee. Going on right now.

Tattoo sex

Yesterday as we were laying together watching telly after dinner my cock got hard. It usually does at this time…

I was thinking about fucking Mistress – having a big, marathon, David type sex session, with plenty of Her sucking and touching me, me eating Her, a mix of stiff vegetables, some anal sex, and about 2 – 3 hours of time.

Mistress has a terrible cold, so I knew it was not likely to materialise that night – the cold was the ideal excuse not to try it on with Her. But I promised myself that when She was better, I would go for it, treat myself.

Later in bed as we cuddled I said to Her that I was feeling very sexually submissive, and She asked why. I explained that I was dreaming of having ‘Tattoo sex’ as we call it – we call it this because when I fuck Her doggy style I get to see the Tattoo on her lower back.

But, I explained to Her that I just couldn’t bring myself to try it. She asked why, and I said I just don’t know – I just feel too sexually submissive towards Her to ask for it or try it. As I pointed out to Her, we’ve not actually done this even once in the 7 years we’ve been living a FemDom life together – its’ not likely to start now – that was the very reason why I first encouraged Her to find a ‘real’ lover that would fuck Her properly, as I no longer did. She agreed.

I wonder why She asks me why I can’t just go ahead and do it? Is it because She wants me to do it? Or is it because this turns Her on and She wants to understand my submission better? Relish it? Wallow in it?

In fact, I have only seen Her tattoo once while fucking, in all the years I’ve fucked Her.

I asked Her if I could touch Her pussy (I literally say: ‘Please can I touch Your pussy’) and She gave Her permission. It was wet from our conversation, and soon I was spooning into Her, giving Her a long (minutes, not hours, but long for me!) fucking from behind.

She moaned more than She usually does while we screwed, and I was glad She was clearly enjoying it. I thrust deep into Her, imagining what She would be doing if She were fucking David (or perhaps Dave?) properly. Was She thinking of one of them while She fucked me?

She must be good and ripe for a session with David – She’s not had a good, blow-away-the cobwebs 3 hour fuck for months now. I wonder if Dave will give Her one. The two of them are going out for a coffee some time today.

Kind reply

So she saw my message eventually.

Maybe She was just busy before - but you can see how my mind is working....

IM

How many online flirtations does a woman need at any one time?

Mistress has a terrible cold today – She should really be in bed, but is very busy and conscientious so She’s gone in to work.

So to cheer Her up I sent Her a text message: “Hi Sexy. Hard luck about your cold. Have a good day and get better soon”. I sent it about 2 hours ago. I’ve not had a reply.

But this morning as we got ready, She was telling me about how Dave had some hot, scandalous gossip for Her about some office relationship, She gave me a few details. It was too much for him to rush through, and they would have to get together for lunch to really discuss it properly.

But they looked at their diaries, and can’t do lunch for a couple of weeks – and that’s far too long to wait, so they’ll have to squeeze in a coffee instead – perhaps at 4 o’clock (just before She goes to pick the kids from school) some time sooner.

So I ask Her, how did they manage to discuss all this in the office – She replies they chatted on Instant Messenger.

Must have exchanged quite a few messages to achieve all that on IM.

This is exactly what happened when She was fucking David more often – She had much less time and inclination for trivia with me. I’d find out later than even though She’d not replied to my text messages (‘too busy’) She’d had time to text him.

I am sure Mistress loves me consistently, but I think She only needs one Alpha male in Her life – to flirt with, think about and IM with – and right now that’s Dave not me.

It’s going to be very interesting to see how it unfolds once they start screwing….

Flirting

Yesterday Mistress was working in London again, so not sat opposite her new ‘interest’ in the office as usual.

Through the day I did wonder once or twice whether or not they would make contact. I can see the excitement that contact with him give Her, and I’m sure he feels the same way.

So it came as no surprise to me when She mentioned in the evening that he had texted her about some trivia. He’d sent Her ‘a message’ was the way She put it to me – but when She went on to describe it, it turns out that actually they exchanged at least 4 if not more messages.

So my question as was answered. They did establish contact. I reckon they will do so most days from now on, but we shall see.

Today She is in the office, so they are together, in the same room, eying each other up surreptitiously…

Calmer

Well, they met and had their coffee – circled each other cautiously to make sure no one was upset; neither was, flirted lightly to see if there was any prospect of moving forward; there was, and spoke normally to make sure they could still work together; they can. So all is well as She goes back to work.

She’s mentioned him twice this morning already… She was like this when She first met David – couldn’t get Her mind off him. Interesting to see how it unfolds.

All work & no play...

Hitherto Mistress has always carried Her personal iPhone with Her wherever She goes, leaving Her work provided Blackberry at home. But Dave texts Her on Her Blackberry. So since She’s meeting him today, She’s carrying it, even though its Her day off.

Will She ever leave the Blackberry at home again?

Coffee?

Monday is Mistress’ day off, and She’s just popping into town after a gym work out. The minute She stepped into the room from the shower I thought ‘wow!’ She looks like She’s going on a date! Long silver earlings, figure hugging boddy and jeans, and silver shoes. But no, She said, just taking the girls swimming.

She then remminds me that She expects me to live by the rules (published in an earlier blog entry here), to which I of course agree...

20 minutes later She lets on that Dave’s been in touch to say what a great time he had – got a little drunk, but loved it. She replied the same, and said to me She’s thinking of asking him to meet up for a coffee…

20 minutes later She’s invited him to meet up for a coffee, and the outfit is now fully explained!

I wonder if he’ll make it?

Update: As I write this post he's already replied. "Yes! Meet you there!" So the first day back at work (or not, even) and things move forward apace.

Cinderella

Well, She eventually got home at 5 minutes to midnight, more than a little tipsy, and having had a wonderful time.

Apparently they spent the whole time in two pubs, drinking a couple of bottles of wine, chatting and flirting.

He kissed her (‘snogged’ was the word She used) and She kissed him back, holding and rubbing his hard (‘very hard’) cock through his trousers. They then spent the rest of the time with Her stood between his legs with his hand up her front feeling her flat abs and belly button piercing, while they talked about sex… Apparently he did not put his hands into Her pants or touch Her pussy.

But that does put paid to the ‘just friends and colleagues’ side of things once and for all.

While she told me all about it I got hard, and She wanked and sucked me off as we spoke before going to bed.

I think its safe to say that its just a matter of time before he puts it in Her. They’ve agreed to arrange another ‘away day’ as soon as possible. I reckon, now that he’s snogged and touched Her up, next time he’s going to go for a venue with a bed in it.

I’ve been a little nervous since, but She’s been very loving. I am resolved, or resolving, to ‘just enjoy it for what it is’ as She says.

Well….maybe….

She was supposed to get the 6 o’clock train, and be back in time to put the kids to bed at 8.

But at 6:30 She texted to say She’s still in the pub and won’t be getting the 6 o’clock. She called at 8:45 to say goodnight to the kids. Called from the pub.

She’s just got on the 10:35 train, arriving home at midnight. She’s been in the pub (?) with him since 2. That’s a good 8 hour session just the two of them, and Her looking so good.

Not very good for me…

It'll be good to have Her back though.

I'm going to offer to eat Her pussy. See if there is any of his cum in it... I wonder if She'll let me go down on Her...

Jealousy & insecurity

Mistress just called from London. The course has broken for lunch. Then she’ll be skiving off to go to the pub with Dave. Dressed sexy and in the mood for fun. Great way to spend the afternoon.

Why aren’t I more jealous? If She were screwing him yet, or meeting David, then I would be jealous. I’d be wondering why She doesn’t spend the afternoon drinking with me. Why She’d rather drink with him.

I know what She’d say – that I’m the lucky one – She spends every evening drinking wine with me, and then cuddling, sleeping and fucking together. All that Dave’s getting is an afternoon in the pub, and She enjoys his company…

It’s interesting that this time I’m not feeling jealous. Might be because I’m so busy at work right now.

City date

Mistress has gone to London for a course today. Coincidentally, the Dave that she works and flirts with is working in London today.

So they’ve arrange to take the afternoon off and spend the time in a pub drinking on office time! She is quite excited about it, and She tells me that he’s really looking forward to it too.

She dressed in these gorgeous, tight black knee length trousers that make Her arse look WICKED, and a lovely leopard print, sleeveless top that shows her toned arms and large cleavage, with a new bra with a ribbon in the middle, visible inside her cleavage. Dave is going to enjoy his time in the bar!

She’s been really horny ever since David was back in touch. She had me eat Her to orgasm last night, and then we fucked, and this morning I thought I really should lick Her arse and send Her off to see Dave with Her hole tingling from my tongue, which She let me do.

I told Her that Dave must be thinking “motel or hotel”. She denies this. She’s either naive, or kidding Herself.

Anyway, we’ll find out later, when She gets home after Her day out.

Walking the dog

Sorry I went so quiet! Life has been so busy, trying to earn a crust to make Her happy...

David's been in touch again after 3 months silence! She was delighted.

Rode my bike through the park today to go to a meeting. There is something sooo kinky about a sexy woman walking a big male dog on a leash and muzzle. Sometimes even castrated. Now that's female domination. Damn!

Lunch date

Today She was going (has now gone) for a lunch date with the guy in Her office who’s hitting on Her.

I don’t know whether its stretching into a very long lunch (it’s 2:40 here now) but I’ve not heard from Her with an update.

She’s either still at lunch, or is not going to bother to keep me posted…

Text jealousy

Just after 2 pm I was responding to alexander’s comment on my blog and my cock got hard. I decided to tell Mistress, and the text exchange above transpired.

I was pleased to have shared it with Her, and to have provoked such a disgusting response.

I wondered if there might be any more from her, but there was not – I figured She was busy.

But then later in the day She gets home, and recants with great delight and text flirtation She’d been having with Her ex. She passes me Her phone to read the exchange.

What do you know? It started at 2pm, and ended long after my exchange with Her ended. She told him of Her delight in dual penetration, and various sexual positions – very explicit stuff.

It turns out Her exchange with me was just a little bit on the side – an irritant really, while She had the real conversation with Her ex. A bit like sex with me – something small on the side, keeping back the real thing for major sessions with others.

Be careful what you wish for - you might get it...

But, to be positive, I am the one lucky enough to be married to Her.

Oral sexual satisfaction

I envy my Mistress. Last night as She was about to fall asleep She decided She fancied a blow job. “You better go down and eat me” She says, and I do. I go down and I do what I do – I lick, suck and finger Her and I don’t stop until She shudders to an orgasm. Then I gently lick Her clean until She tells me that’s enough.

OK – She did give me the promised blowjob last month – but that’s not quite the same thing as oral orgasms on demand whenever you want.

And after She had cum, She did let me penetrate Her. But She just lay there spoon style while I thrust away into Her. Don’t get me wrong – I am grateful She invited me to screw Her (I would not have asked if She had not) but I’d kinda rather be in Her position.

And then this morning before we get up I ask if She’d like me to lick Her arse before I get up and She says yes.

So I lick, clean, and tongue her to great pleasure before She tells me to get up.

What a lucky girl She is. And what a lucky guy I am to get to do all those things to Her. But we humans are rarely satisfied are we?