So much to say...

There is so much to say today. It all goes together. If I leave any bit out then you don't get the full picture. I hardly know where to start, so I'll just take my time and spill it all out.

Kiss

This morning we were chatting about how Mistress’ relationship with Dave will unfold. I was maintaining that he wants to fuck Her, and She was going on about its just friendly – although She is now realising that its more than that – that he is ‘chasing’.

She said how She enjoys that the first thing he does when he gets in to the office is IM Her – ‘Hello C’, he says. ‘It’s nice to be the first thought in his mind when he gets to work.’ She says, ‘I like that’. Makes sense.

She’s worried that after the disaster of shagging Chris, who was such a lousy lay, that if she fucks Dave and its doesn’t go well then they’ll loose the ‘special’ friendship they have developing – and She’d prefer to maintain the excitement of the chase and the friendship. Makes sense too. But he’s a guy, and guys like to fuck.

She said that She recognised that David was a one off – an exceptional lover who fucked Her like crazy like very few if any others ever will – She said She does not expect anyone to ever match up to that, and therefore She’d rather not try, and spoil it. Makes sense too….

Apparently, She confessed, this morning, that on Tuesday when they went for coffee, as Dave entered the café he put his arm round Her waist and gave Her a peck on the cheek. A liberty that She noted he took, and thought ‘Uh huh! I know what you’re doing!’ So how come, on that same Tuesday when telling me about it, She tried denying to me that he wants to shag Her?

So on Tuesday, this guy establishes that he can put his arm round Her waist and kiss Her on the cheek, and on Thursday She tells me. Interesting.

Time

I had another crawl through Her Crackberry yesterday. I’m addicted to it too – I just have to see if they’ve chatted, how much and what they’ve said – what who said to who. It’s terrible. But I can’t resist it.

They’d started sending messages at 10 am, as soon as She got to the office, and they were still doing it at 7pm by which time She was back at home. The traffic was two ways – an even exchange of flirty and fun messages between them.

I have curtailed the number of messages I send Her through the day – She complains that She is too busy to chat to me all day. Obviously not too busy to chat to him though…

If I’m honest, I resent the time She spends chatting to him. Why doesn’t She spend it chatting to me?

Yesterday evening She told me about Her ex who started to text Her in the middle of day. He had the day off, so he had nothing better to do than exchange kinky messages with Her and they did – She told him how I’d gone down and licked Her arse that morning, and other equally personable things. This ex is the one who took Her anal virgnity.

She’d spent quite a while texting him as well – so between the two of them they got a right load of messages, and I got one, asking me to send Her a photo I’d taken of one of the kids that morning…

A buddy of mine maintains that there are five men in every woman’s life:-

1. A sperm donor to father her children. Selected for apparent brilliance.

2. A soul mate to talk through life. And to help her understand men.

3. A lover that gives her sexual gratification and excitement.

4. A husband to give her a name: ‘ Do you know my husband? He’s such a …’, and

5. A funder to pay for all of life’s niceties that She ‘needs’.

Lucky is the man that is all five men to his woman.

I used to be all five. But since David She has found both the sexual gratification and I think even more so the sexual excitement more outside the matrimonial home.

As She said to me this morning, She loves the chase and the flirtation, all day every day from him, not knowing where it might end up.

I no longer provide that, and that’s why She doesn’t want to text me all day. I simply don’t offer the same level of excitement as other men do.

Domination
Years ago, before we got into the FemDom thing, She used to always, always, always wash my cock when I was in the bath. She would soap Her hands and luxuriously wash it, often choosing to make me cum, but not always, particularly if She fancied a nice, hard cock to herself later.

But after a while living FemDom I said to Her that I didn’t feel it was right, Her spoiling me like that – I said I didn’t feel worthy of such special time and attention, of such a gift from Her to me every day. She agreed. And so it stopped.

But yesterday I lay in the bath chatting to Mistress who was stood next to me and I asked Her if She’d like to wash my cock. She clearly didn’t want to, but She didn’t just come out and say it. I could see She didn’t want to, and so I quickly interjected that She needn’t do so, and that I’d be equally happy to just have a kiss, so She gave me a little kiss instead, and we were both happy.

But I wished for more. I wished She had replied to me to say ‘Yuck! No! I don’t want to wash your dick. Don’t ask me to wash your dick ever again. If I want to wash your dick I’ll do it, and if I don’t I won’t. So stop asking.’

I want Her to change the passwords on Her phone’s and ban me from asking Her anything about any text’s She sends to any of Her men friends. I want Her to be the sole judge of what to tell me about those texts, if anything. I want to be prohibited from ever asking about what transpired between Her and any other man – to merely be the recipient of any graceful news She cares to drip down to me.

I want to be caned most severely for ever suggesting any sexual act or asking any question about any other man.

My cock is so hard now thinking about this. I’d love to live like that. I think. Not. I don’t know.

Orgasm
I was thinking those thoughts as we got into bed last night. So my cock was hard and She noticed as She got in next to me, and She reached across to play with it.

Her delicate hand wrapped round it, and felt soooo good as She stroked up and down.

I groaned with pleasure as I said how nice it felt, and thrust my hips up to meet Her hand.

I thought all about how I’d love to be treated as a sexual inferior as She stroked my cock.

I wondered if She would ask, as She so often does, what I was thinking as She played with me? If She did, then should I tell her the truth? Should I offer up that truth whether She asked or not?

Would She fuck me, or make me cum with Her hand? I groaned again – how good it was. How sweet it felt.

I kept my mouth shut apart from the groans and the thanks for how great it felt, and She brought me to a crashing orgasm over my belly. We wiped it up and slept in each others arms. Life’s good. Why change it.

What happened yesterday?

Mistress picked me up from home yesterday evening and we went to school to pick up the kids.

Breaking the news

As we drove, She told me about Her coffee date with Dave and I was a little jealous. The following questions crossed my mind:-

1. Why had She not told me before the coffee?
2. Why had She chosen to spend time after work with him, and not with me?
3. How many times a week could the two of them have coffee, for goodness sake?
4. How long before he starts fucking her?

But I played it very cool with Her, as I don’t want to be seen to be bitching.

But as we discussed it, and She told me all about the platonic chat they had had over coffee, and I asked Her if he flirted with Her at all, She said that he had not, and that increasingly they were ‘just friends’.

Well, you will understand my scepticism over that! The guy has kissed Her and drank wine with his hand up Her shirt for hours, talking about what he’d do to Her if he ever got Her naked! Platonic? Please!

But She insisted, so I didn’t argue.

She got upset with me – in a very subtle, indirect way. Either She was upset anyway, or my intimation that they were flirting upset Her (even though they are!)

I kept cool. No need to rock the boat. But She started to treat me like shit, as only She can when She is upset. Nothing overt, all covert stuff. Just being a little rude and 100% argumentative over everything I say.

But I took it all in my stride. I figured that deep down She feels guilty because She is flirting with him, so I cut Her some slack.

Mo’ Crack’

Then a couple of hours later when I got back from the gym She had been texting him on the Crackberry. This has never happened from home, but it sure happened last night, quite a bit.

And then suddenly this text came in that She felt was ‘different’ – She showed it to me ‘:would She take the day off tomorrow and go to the beach with him?’ They were both busy the next day, so the request was obviously in jest, but She showed it to me and commented that ‘Oh! He is in fact now flirting’. What a surprise!

She was delighted, and flirted back: ‘Yes! If he would make the sun shine, She’d take the day off and go to the beach with him.’

Early night…

That night as we watched telly She continued to treat me like shit, and eventually I kissed Her goodnight and went up to bed. No point in sticking around to just be shat on…

This morning I offered to lick Her arse, and She accepted. I figured I don’t want Her getting out bed thinking I’m in a bad mood with Her. I still love Her and submit to Her, and what better way to show it, so I licked and tongued Her arse and She loved it!

And so the day started.

That skirt!

She dressed for work in the most amazing tight, knitted skirt with a slit up to just above the knee. It makes Her arse and legs look just wonderful! Grrrr.

I knew, because we had talked about it yesterday, and I’d seen the texts, that Dave was not due to be in the office today. It’s a good job I knew this, because otherwise, this skirt was sooo hot, I’d have been insanely jealous that She was dressing for him – as it was, I did not think this – and She confirmed it, saying that She did not expect to see him today.

But I’ve just texted Her, and he has made it back to the office in time to see Her in it…

Fallout

So what happened yesterday? I’m not sure. Did my jealousy get the better of me? I don’t think so. Is it that time of the month when I must suffer as we men do? Maybe.

When this happens, and She treats me badly, it hurts. It’s so unnecessary. She can do what She wants, so there is no need to treat me like shit. And if She wants to treat me like shit, then She can choose to do so – She is the boss, She can tease, bully, ignore or dom me however She wants. So I hate it when She treats me like shit and is NOT dommeing me when She does so.

If She can’t cope with talking to me about Dave, then why does She tell me? Why does She not change the password on Her Crackberry so I can’t get into it, and forbid me from raising the subject, if She finds it a touchy subject?

I don’t get it. But I don’t get to make the rules. If I did, they would be logical.

But, for all James Brown sang, its not a man’s world!

Coffee Mountain

Mistress just got in.

They had ANOTHER coffee together this evening.

She claims its just platonic, and they are just friends, and all the sexual expectation is gone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Meantime he’s cancelled an earlier lunch date and they are having lunch together on Friday as well.

She didn’t tell me they were going for coffee before She went. Or after She got back. It was almost like She told me by mistake…

Crackberry

It’s Monday & Mistress doesn’t work on Mondays.

For weeks if not months now She’s stopped carrying Her office Blackberry when She’s off duty. But She’s got it with Her today.

Are they messaging each other?

Telling him

On Friday evening Mistress gave me an animated account of Her coffee date with Dave.

Apparently he told Her he was playing soccer that evening, and then going out for a drink with the gang. He hinted it would be nice if only She could join him.

I waited for it. She and I were going to her girlfriends for a party that night – it would be all too easy for Her to go from there into town to meet him. But to my surprise She didn’t suggest it to me.

She’s not told him we live a FemDom life. She says She doesn’t want to tell him this. But my betting is that She will tell him, and sooner rather than later, because once She does, then setting up this sort of assignment becomes so much easier.

I hope She does tell him. Then I hope it turns him on, and that he decides he wants to get in on the dominating me act, and that he really encourages Her to shit on me constantly from a great height. Including eating them both clean after the regular fucks I would hope to develop.

I’m selfish.

Coffee Date

She’s just called to say She’s walking across for their coffee date.

We discussed a few things about it:-

What if they are seen?

Last time they didn’t hide it – they met in the office reception and walked out together. ‘No big deal’. They just didn’t announce it.

This time they’ve left separately – he’s packed up for the day, and She’s just left for 30 minutes.

So if they are seen this time then anyone doing so will know something’s up…

Manwatching

Last time, he sat with his knee fairly close to Hers. I talked to Her about personal space (I’m a big fan of Desmond Morris’ ‘Manwatching’ book) and about how anyone alert to it would spot it if they were seen sat in each other’s space.

She was fascinated. Wants to read the book. I should buy it for Her.

What do you think? Take my poll.

Wild sex

Last night as I lay with Mistress watching telly I stroked Her leg through Her tight, black leggings. Her leg is a truly a thing to admire. My cock got hard, and I started to think of engaging my master plan – to have wild, David-esque sex with Her in the sitting room, lasting two hours or more.

She ignored the hard-on poking out of my pyjamas, yawned, and declared Her intention to go to bed. So we did.

As I lay naked curled up with Her in bed, ashamed of my failure to seduce Her, yet luxuriating in the pleasure of Her naked body, I made my more typical move.

“Would you like me to eat you?” I asked, and She said yes.

She raised Her leg, laying comfortably in the bed, and I licked my finger and toyed with Her pussy, my cock pressing against Her tight butt cheek. She squirmed appreciatively and I toyed with Her more.

I asked if I could put my cock in before I ate Her, and She said yes. I do find this so appropriately submissive – to have had my cock in Her before I go down and eat where my cock has just been, so I eagerly rutted into Her.

She groaned delightfully as manoeuvred in and out, enjoying it all the more for the obvious pleasure She was getting.

My mind wondered as my body thrust. Would She ask what I was thinking, as I pumped? If She did, what would I answer? What was I actually thinking?

She didn’t ask, so I didn’t have to answer.

My pressure rose, as did Her moans.

I was going to have to ask whether She would like me to cum in Her before I ate Her out, because we were both clearly enjoying this, and I did not want to stop. But She pre-empted me.

“Cum in my pussy. Then eat me clean. Until I orgasm!” She instructed.

I did. She held my head and directed my tongue and lips as She wished as She thundered to orgasm after me.

We slept. I felt vindicated. We had the kind of sex we have. We both loved it. The one in the sitting room is David’s, not mine.

Close shave?

Last night Mistress mentioned the coffee discussions, and said She’d set up for a coffee with Dave later this week.

Over the weekend we went for a party, and one of the girls from Her office was there. They spoke about an extra marital affair that Dave is supposed to have had with another of the girls in the office, and Mistress told me about it later.

I wondered if She felt a little jealous.

Anyway, that night as I fucked Her from behind I wondered at what’s going to happen in a few days, weeks or months time when the office picks up on the two of them. All the gossip will be about how they’re shagging, and my cuckolding will become general knowledge or generally suspect across Her office and then out to our friends.

How will that affect me? My cock was rock her as I pistoned in and out of Her thinking of this. The submissive humiliation in everyone knowing that She chose to fuck another guy and thus cuckold me has got to be the ultimate turn on.

I spoke to her about this last night – but She claims She’s not about to shag him, and if She does, that know one would ever know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Meantime, the two of them spoke yesterday about an away trip to Cambridge. Turns out a few people from the office went up there last night for an overnight trip ready for some bug meeting today. Mistress could have gone. Dave went. The two would have been in the same hotel overnight.

They were kicking themselves that they did not spot this opportunity and manage it better before hand.

As I cuddled Her last night I told Her that their loss was my gain, and that I appreciated all the more having Her in my arms rather than away in his.

I gave Her arse a good licking this morning to make Her feel good. I do so like to send Her off to work with a well licked arse.

More coffee in Her Blackberry

I snooped round Mistress’ Blackberry again yesterday. There was a lengthy exchange with Dave setting up a coffee for later this week. Lots of smiley faces and exclamation marks. No kisses in it.

She’s not mentioned it to me yet. I wonder why. I can hardly ask, can I?

First anniversary

I am one year old today as a Cuckold. It is a year now since Mistress went clubbing with Her work colleagues and met David.

It’s been an interesting year.

This is the outfit She was wearing the night She met him. No wonder the guy hit on Her. (Sorry I had to cut Her face of the picture, but...this is real life you know!)

Their relationship has not developed in the way we expected. This time last year She invited him to join us a friends birthday party, then She wanted to bring him home and fuck him after. But he’s never become that close in our lives. Probably a good thing for my sanity!

Coming Clean?

Last night when we were lying in each others arms chatting and drinking wine, Mistress told me about a conversation she’d had with Dave some weeks or months ago.

She was about to leave the office to go for her regular waxing and they were chatting on IM. The long and the short of it is that by hints and innuendo She let him know She was going for a full waxing, and he let Her know that he likes a little hair to be left ‘down there’.

She was clearly titillated at the memory. But here She was telling me about it weeks or months later.

That’s the thing about Her seeing other guys – at the end of the day I only know what She chooses to tell me. What She does not choose to tell me, I don’t know.

(The picture is of Her pussy – this is how She keeps it).

Coffee time

It’s 4 o’clock now – coffee time. Mistress told me they were going to sneak out the office and go across the road for a coffee.

She said She was not going to tell anyone where She was going- just get up, go and be back 30 minutes later.

I said someone in the office is going to notice, or spot them – they’ll never get away with it – both simply absent for 30 minutes from an open plan office. People aren’t stupid. But that’s what She’s doing.

I don’t mind if people do find out – I don’t mind Her colleagues knowing I’m a cuckold, if that’s what they think. I would never tell them myself, but if it gives Her pleasure then fine.

So the two of them will be sat opposite each other in the coffee shop, smiling, flirting, and giving each other their individual attention. Mistress is wearing a skin tight, white body suit (‘Does it show off my body nicely?’ She asked this morning before She settled on the garment) and tight, brown jeans. Looking hot.

He’ll be checking out Her body, playing Her like a fish, biding his time before he finally strikes and gets to bed Her. She’ll be remembering grabbing his hard cock as they canoodled in the pub. Smiling at him. He’ll get hard. She’ll get wet. Sounds like a good coffee. Going on right now.

Tattoo sex

Yesterday as we were laying together watching telly after dinner my cock got hard. It usually does at this time…

I was thinking about fucking Mistress – having a big, marathon, David type sex session, with plenty of Her sucking and touching me, me eating Her, a mix of stiff vegetables, some anal sex, and about 2 – 3 hours of time.

Mistress has a terrible cold, so I knew it was not likely to materialise that night – the cold was the ideal excuse not to try it on with Her. But I promised myself that when She was better, I would go for it, treat myself.

Later in bed as we cuddled I said to Her that I was feeling very sexually submissive, and She asked why. I explained that I was dreaming of having ‘Tattoo sex’ as we call it – we call it this because when I fuck Her doggy style I get to see the Tattoo on her lower back.

But, I explained to Her that I just couldn’t bring myself to try it. She asked why, and I said I just don’t know – I just feel too sexually submissive towards Her to ask for it or try it. As I pointed out to Her, we’ve not actually done this even once in the 7 years we’ve been living a FemDom life together – its’ not likely to start now – that was the very reason why I first encouraged Her to find a ‘real’ lover that would fuck Her properly, as I no longer did. She agreed.

I wonder why She asks me why I can’t just go ahead and do it? Is it because She wants me to do it? Or is it because this turns Her on and She wants to understand my submission better? Relish it? Wallow in it?

In fact, I have only seen Her tattoo once while fucking, in all the years I’ve fucked Her.

I asked Her if I could touch Her pussy (I literally say: ‘Please can I touch Your pussy’) and She gave Her permission. It was wet from our conversation, and soon I was spooning into Her, giving Her a long (minutes, not hours, but long for me!) fucking from behind.

She moaned more than She usually does while we screwed, and I was glad She was clearly enjoying it. I thrust deep into Her, imagining what She would be doing if She were fucking David (or perhaps Dave?) properly. Was She thinking of one of them while She fucked me?

She must be good and ripe for a session with David – She’s not had a good, blow-away-the cobwebs 3 hour fuck for months now. I wonder if Dave will give Her one. The two of them are going out for a coffee some time today.

Kind reply

So she saw my message eventually.

Maybe She was just busy before - but you can see how my mind is working....

IM

How many online flirtations does a woman need at any one time?

Mistress has a terrible cold today – She should really be in bed, but is very busy and conscientious so She’s gone in to work.

So to cheer Her up I sent Her a text message: “Hi Sexy. Hard luck about your cold. Have a good day and get better soon”. I sent it about 2 hours ago. I’ve not had a reply.

But this morning as we got ready, She was telling me about how Dave had some hot, scandalous gossip for Her about some office relationship, She gave me a few details. It was too much for him to rush through, and they would have to get together for lunch to really discuss it properly.

But they looked at their diaries, and can’t do lunch for a couple of weeks – and that’s far too long to wait, so they’ll have to squeeze in a coffee instead – perhaps at 4 o’clock (just before She goes to pick the kids from school) some time sooner.

So I ask Her, how did they manage to discuss all this in the office – She replies they chatted on Instant Messenger.

Must have exchanged quite a few messages to achieve all that on IM.

This is exactly what happened when She was fucking David more often – She had much less time and inclination for trivia with me. I’d find out later than even though She’d not replied to my text messages (‘too busy’) She’d had time to text him.

I am sure Mistress loves me consistently, but I think She only needs one Alpha male in Her life – to flirt with, think about and IM with – and right now that’s Dave not me.

It’s going to be very interesting to see how it unfolds once they start screwing….

Flirting

Yesterday Mistress was working in London again, so not sat opposite her new ‘interest’ in the office as usual.

Through the day I did wonder once or twice whether or not they would make contact. I can see the excitement that contact with him give Her, and I’m sure he feels the same way.

So it came as no surprise to me when She mentioned in the evening that he had texted her about some trivia. He’d sent Her ‘a message’ was the way She put it to me – but when She went on to describe it, it turns out that actually they exchanged at least 4 if not more messages.

So my question as was answered. They did establish contact. I reckon they will do so most days from now on, but we shall see.

Today She is in the office, so they are together, in the same room, eying each other up surreptitiously…

Calmer

Well, they met and had their coffee – circled each other cautiously to make sure no one was upset; neither was, flirted lightly to see if there was any prospect of moving forward; there was, and spoke normally to make sure they could still work together; they can. So all is well as She goes back to work.

She’s mentioned him twice this morning already… She was like this when She first met David – couldn’t get Her mind off him. Interesting to see how it unfolds.

All work & no play...

Hitherto Mistress has always carried Her personal iPhone with Her wherever She goes, leaving Her work provided Blackberry at home. But Dave texts Her on Her Blackberry. So since She’s meeting him today, She’s carrying it, even though its Her day off.

Will She ever leave the Blackberry at home again?

Coffee?

Monday is Mistress’ day off, and She’s just popping into town after a gym work out. The minute She stepped into the room from the shower I thought ‘wow!’ She looks like She’s going on a date! Long silver earlings, figure hugging boddy and jeans, and silver shoes. But no, She said, just taking the girls swimming.

She then remminds me that She expects me to live by the rules (published in an earlier blog entry here), to which I of course agree...

20 minutes later She lets on that Dave’s been in touch to say what a great time he had – got a little drunk, but loved it. She replied the same, and said to me She’s thinking of asking him to meet up for a coffee…

20 minutes later She’s invited him to meet up for a coffee, and the outfit is now fully explained!

I wonder if he’ll make it?

Update: As I write this post he's already replied. "Yes! Meet you there!" So the first day back at work (or not, even) and things move forward apace.

Cinderella

Well, She eventually got home at 5 minutes to midnight, more than a little tipsy, and having had a wonderful time.

Apparently they spent the whole time in two pubs, drinking a couple of bottles of wine, chatting and flirting.

He kissed her (‘snogged’ was the word She used) and She kissed him back, holding and rubbing his hard (‘very hard’) cock through his trousers. They then spent the rest of the time with Her stood between his legs with his hand up her front feeling her flat abs and belly button piercing, while they talked about sex… Apparently he did not put his hands into Her pants or touch Her pussy.

But that does put paid to the ‘just friends and colleagues’ side of things once and for all.

While she told me all about it I got hard, and She wanked and sucked me off as we spoke before going to bed.

I think its safe to say that its just a matter of time before he puts it in Her. They’ve agreed to arrange another ‘away day’ as soon as possible. I reckon, now that he’s snogged and touched Her up, next time he’s going to go for a venue with a bed in it.

I’ve been a little nervous since, but She’s been very loving. I am resolved, or resolving, to ‘just enjoy it for what it is’ as She says.

Well….maybe….

She was supposed to get the 6 o’clock train, and be back in time to put the kids to bed at 8.

But at 6:30 She texted to say She’s still in the pub and won’t be getting the 6 o’clock. She called at 8:45 to say goodnight to the kids. Called from the pub.

She’s just got on the 10:35 train, arriving home at midnight. She’s been in the pub (?) with him since 2. That’s a good 8 hour session just the two of them, and Her looking so good.

Not very good for me…

It'll be good to have Her back though.

I'm going to offer to eat Her pussy. See if there is any of his cum in it... I wonder if She'll let me go down on Her...

Jealousy & insecurity

Mistress just called from London. The course has broken for lunch. Then she’ll be skiving off to go to the pub with Dave. Dressed sexy and in the mood for fun. Great way to spend the afternoon.

Why aren’t I more jealous? If She were screwing him yet, or meeting David, then I would be jealous. I’d be wondering why She doesn’t spend the afternoon drinking with me. Why She’d rather drink with him.

I know what She’d say – that I’m the lucky one – She spends every evening drinking wine with me, and then cuddling, sleeping and fucking together. All that Dave’s getting is an afternoon in the pub, and She enjoys his company…

It’s interesting that this time I’m not feeling jealous. Might be because I’m so busy at work right now.

City date

Mistress has gone to London for a course today. Coincidentally, the Dave that she works and flirts with is working in London today.

So they’ve arrange to take the afternoon off and spend the time in a pub drinking on office time! She is quite excited about it, and She tells me that he’s really looking forward to it too.

She dressed in these gorgeous, tight black knee length trousers that make Her arse look WICKED, and a lovely leopard print, sleeveless top that shows her toned arms and large cleavage, with a new bra with a ribbon in the middle, visible inside her cleavage. Dave is going to enjoy his time in the bar!

She’s been really horny ever since David was back in touch. She had me eat Her to orgasm last night, and then we fucked, and this morning I thought I really should lick Her arse and send Her off to see Dave with Her hole tingling from my tongue, which She let me do.

I told Her that Dave must be thinking “motel or hotel”. She denies this. She’s either naive, or kidding Herself.

Anyway, we’ll find out later, when She gets home after Her day out.

Walking the dog

Sorry I went so quiet! Life has been so busy, trying to earn a crust to make Her happy...

David's been in touch again after 3 months silence! She was delighted.

Rode my bike through the park today to go to a meeting. There is something sooo kinky about a sexy woman walking a big male dog on a leash and muzzle. Sometimes even castrated. Now that's female domination. Damn!

Lunch date

Today She was going (has now gone) for a lunch date with the guy in Her office who’s hitting on Her.

I don’t know whether its stretching into a very long lunch (it’s 2:40 here now) but I’ve not heard from Her with an update.

She’s either still at lunch, or is not going to bother to keep me posted…

Text jealousy

Just after 2 pm I was responding to alexander’s comment on my blog and my cock got hard. I decided to tell Mistress, and the text exchange above transpired.

I was pleased to have shared it with Her, and to have provoked such a disgusting response.

I wondered if there might be any more from her, but there was not – I figured She was busy.

But then later in the day She gets home, and recants with great delight and text flirtation She’d been having with Her ex. She passes me Her phone to read the exchange.

What do you know? It started at 2pm, and ended long after my exchange with Her ended. She told him of Her delight in dual penetration, and various sexual positions – very explicit stuff.

It turns out Her exchange with me was just a little bit on the side – an irritant really, while She had the real conversation with Her ex. A bit like sex with me – something small on the side, keeping back the real thing for major sessions with others.

Be careful what you wish for - you might get it...

But, to be positive, I am the one lucky enough to be married to Her.

Oral sexual satisfaction

I envy my Mistress. Last night as She was about to fall asleep She decided She fancied a blow job. “You better go down and eat me” She says, and I do. I go down and I do what I do – I lick, suck and finger Her and I don’t stop until She shudders to an orgasm. Then I gently lick Her clean until She tells me that’s enough.

OK – She did give me the promised blowjob last month – but that’s not quite the same thing as oral orgasms on demand whenever you want.

And after She had cum, She did let me penetrate Her. But She just lay there spoon style while I thrust away into Her. Don’t get me wrong – I am grateful She invited me to screw Her (I would not have asked if She had not) but I’d kinda rather be in Her position.

And then this morning before we get up I ask if She’d like me to lick Her arse before I get up and She says yes.

So I lick, clean, and tongue her to great pleasure before She tells me to get up.

What a lucky girl She is. And what a lucky guy I am to get to do all those things to Her. But we humans are rarely satisfied are we?

More on: Why this Alpha male stuff

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Why does She do it?

Life has been hectic – so busy with work! I’ve been hoping to blog every day and never managed to fit it in.

‘m’ posed a fascinating question that I think of many times every day: Why does She do it?

I don’t know. But I have my theories…

Last Saturday David never made contact! We sat watching the telly in each others arms, her iPhone next to Her, waiting for contact, and it never came! We proceeded gladly to bed.

Tuesday he sends her a text – sorry, he was with his girlfriend all evening, and couldn’t get away. Oh yeah.

Mistress says She doesn’t believe him.

I said either he got pissed and simply never got round to contacting Her, or he found someone else to shag and went off to shag them.

She said that he’s ‘got issues’. He wants Her so badly that he doesn’t want to see Her, because if he does, then he’ll want Her for his own, and he can’t have Her for his own.

Hmm. She might be right. One of us is right and the other wrong. But I don’t push it with Her. I was interested, though, that She doesn’t believe he was with his other half all night Saturday.

So, you’d think that that was the last straw, that She won’t see him again? But no! She decides to text him to suggest they get together for coffee and chat – She wants to talk to him about why he’s so unreliable, and try and get their relationship on a more stable footing.

So there’s a question: Why does she do that?

She wasn’t too disappointed that he was a no show last weekend – in fact, She really wasn’t disappointed at all – or if She was, She hid it from me very well. We’d been out on Friday night very late and had a great time, so Saturday made sense to spend a quiet night in – but if he’d called Her, she’d have gladly gone to him!

On Sunday night as we made love, She whispered in my ear: I wish I’d fucked David on Saturday. It would make it so much better fucking you now. I agree with Her, saying that if She had, then when I was licking Her arse in the morning I’d be able to feel how he’d loosened it with his cock – which I do feel!

Tuesday morning I didn’t offer to lick Her arse while we lay in bed, but She told me to go down and do so. Very unusual.

Wednesday morning when I offered to lick Her arse She told me instead to lick Her pussy clean. It had spoof on it from where we had fucked the night before – so I went down and licked Her clean. She’s never asked me to do that before.

Wednesday she wore a dress to work (She usually wears trousers). Whenever She wears a dress Dave, that the guy in Her office that wants to fuck Her, always compliments Her on it… So I’m wondering….But that night She says nothing…

Then today, when She leaves for work looking real hot, I say to Her the guys are going to love Her arse in those leggings, and She says that Dave may well like it – and that he had said to Her on Wednesday how he loved Her dress….

So they guy says that to Her Wednesday, and She doesn’t mention it to me until Friday. What’s that about?

So, I don’t understand why She does it. I think that the sex with me is so vanilla – we just fuck in the spoon position. David fucks Her for hours in every manner conceivable. I think that’s what She likes – She likes the chase, and a good fuck – and I don’t provide either…

I do want to do more. I just can’t! I want to try to though….

Waiting

She's waiting for him to make contact. She's a little excited, wondering whether She'll go out with him, or just fuck him if/when he comes here.

She's making us dinner now, while She waits.

Contact

David's just been in touch. He's in town tonight and he and Mistress are going to meet up. They've yet to confirm plans, but either he'll come here 'after' for a shag, or She'll go into town and meet him.

It's been a while since they met up.

This is the first time, in a year 'together' that he's actually made contact the day before to actually set something up. Every other time She's had a sudden text from him when he's out.

A couple of days ago he forwarded Her a text joke. That was the first time he's ever just made contact with her, without a view to meeting up.

I guess the man's feeling horny. Well, looks like he's going to get some tonight...

Another man’s orgasm!

Mistress has began flirting with one of Her exes in recent weeks. They’ve been having email and text sex.

Fortunately for me, the guy lives 5,000 miles away, so there is no immediate prospect of her fucking him.

This culminated today in him asking Her to ring him so he could wank while She talked dirty to him. She was at work, so unable to do this, but sent him dirty texts while he wanked himself off.

And this is a married man!

It’s a while since She’s fucked another guy, but at this rate its not going to be long before She does. She seems to be hooked on it.

David texted Her yesterday as well, but it’s not resulting in a planned meeting (yet).

Sexual appetite

I worry about my sexual appetite.

Today, for example, I did not wake up hard or horny, and I don't feel horny now. All just because I came yesterday morning! That was ages ago!

I don't want to cum as much as I used to, and when I do shag, I don't go for the variety or duration I used to.

I used to encourage Her to see other men to dominate me, and because I felt submissive.

Now I feel inadequate too.

Milking

Once the kids were put to bed I reminded Mistress that I had earned a punishment and asked if She would like me to present myself at that time. This was difficult to do – I am required to remind Her. If I don’t, I can be punished for not doing so.

She said to present myself later when we went up to bed.

It was 12:30 before we went up to our room, and I thought this might be a bit late, but on asking She told me to present myself and I did. ‘It don’t want to delay, and leave it hanging over us’ She said, ‘Let’s get it over and done with’. So I presented myself.

‘Discipline is 15 strokes’, She said, ‘So punishment must be 20’, and She laid into me.

I felt my arse bruising as the strokes cut in. More and more as they piled on. I begged quietly for mercy. The second ten were not as bad as the first ten. But let’s just say that I won’t be resting before asking if I can help in any way.

As we slept I offered to eat Her pussy and She accepted, resulting in another shuddering orgasm for Her.

Next morning She actually told me to go down and lick Her arse, which I gladly did diligently. When She’d had enough I came up hard, and asked if I could play with my dick a little. She took over and wanked me Herself. Clearly intent on bringing me to orgasm.

As She wanked me I had this feeling I was being milked – made to cum because She felt due to make me cum – not because I wanted it, or She wanted to do it. Somewhat clinical rather than lustful.

It was another humiliating experience as I spurted. I was more grateful for the humiliation than the orgasm.

Waiting

It's only an hour to go now before I present myself for punishment and find out what She has in mind. A real thrashing, or a more normal caning.

Either way it will hurt.

Wet?

She was being very bossy at lunch time - ordering me to go and get Her yogurt, and watching me tidy up.

Is She wet at the thought of punishing me tonight? Has She decided how hard to hit me? Will She try to land the cane across my arse with all Her might? Will She try and make me cry? Or will She have mercy on me?

Justice

All week I have gone out of my way to proactively obey the rules – no arguing, helping, offering and generally being a ‘good’ submissive.

I was thinking that Mistress must have noticed, and must be thinking that the little caning She gave me last week has made so much difference. I felt I had been so good that She probably wouldn’t want to cane me again last night.

But, not wanting to attract punishment for not offering, once I was ready for bed I asked if She would like to cane me, and to my surprise She said yes.

I did not question Her – that could lead to extras – and instead got my cuffs and prepared myself, my cock soft with fear at what was to come.

As I got ready She started to lecture me.

In fact, I had earned punishment. I had come downstairs in the afternoon and sat and watched the telly while she did chores – I had not offered any help, just say and relaxed. I should have offered, and because I did not I would be punished.

My cock betrayed me, and started to get hard and She told me off.

I cursed myself for a fool – why had I not offered! Anyway, at least She was going to punish me for it, and so I would learn and not do the same again.

She gave me my 15 disciplinary strokes and got into bed, while I put the whip and cuffs away.

I will get the punishment strokes today (Monday) because She has, very wisely in my opinion, chosen not to mix the two. That way both messages are clear, I guess.

In bed I offered to eat Her pussy. I wanted to feel f the caning had made Her wet. And I wanted to build, if possible, the association between caning me and sexual pleasure for Her alongside my submission.

She thought about it and agreed I could eat Her. So I brought Her to long orgasm after much licking, and then we slept.

Tonight I am for it. She said punishment strokes would be harder than discipline ones. I wonder how hard they will be? My goodness. This could be bad. My cock is rock hard with fear.

Boob Job

This morning Mistress declined my offer to lick ‘anything’ She’d like, and asked me to just cuddle Her, which I gladly did, my hard-on throbbing into Her lovely arse as we spooned, and Her lovely soft breasts cupped in my hands.

Before I finally got out of bed I asked ‘Please can I suck your tits’ to which She agreed and I got to lick, suck and stimulate them before getting out of bed.

She denied me permission to play with myself as well before I got up.

Tomorrow morning She is away to London for an overnight course. Usually – invariably – She shags me before She leave the house for 24 hours. I’ll be surprised if today is any different.

Slightly ashamed arse licker

This morning I wished, as I do most mornings, to confirm my subservience to Mistress, so I offered to lick Her arse before waking, and She accepted.

I used a slightly different approach, and used long, drawing licks of my tongue to lick all around Her arse hole, before penetrating and rimming Her. As usual, She loved it.

My cock got hard while I licked, and I asked permission for a play after (She said I must ask permission before I play with my cock). She granted the permission, but then took over, wanking me Herself.

She chose not to make me cum before sending me down to make tea.

It is so humiliating that I lick Her arse to keep it clean, ready and in the knowledge that David will fuck it the very next time he chooses to.

Of course, to counter the shame is the privilege I enjoy in being allowed to lick Her arse every morning, a job I am sure David would love to do.

Alpha Male

I work from home and have the house to myself all day, so I have porn rotating on my Desktop image all day. Occasionally this girl comes up, loving it in her mouth and her arse, and I dream about how lucky the guy is who gets to fuck her there.

One interesting thing following my disciplinary caning last night, is that I do not feel at all tempted to breach the Alpha male rule – I might want a blow job and anal sex, but there is no way I’m going to ask for either and invite more of that down on me.

Resolve

As we got ready for bed, past midnight, I was feeling that given the time of day (or night, actually) Mistress was not likely to want to cane me.

But after I did my teeth She told me to present myself for my 15 Discipline strokes.

Before She raised the cane She said that Punishment strokes would always be harder than discipline ones, and She struck.

The first 8 were killers. All from the same side. Then She walked round the bed and delivered another 7. Plus one for luck.

As instructed, I lay silent, apart from very heavy breathing. I didn’t want to attract any more of those fiery little suckers.

The second 7 were nowhere nearly as hard as the first 8. But they all hurt, and this morning my arse is cut and painful.

I am resolved. I will act to ensure that I never give Her any exclude to punish me. Because if She meant to cause maximum pain then those fuckers would hurt.

After I had put away the ropes and cane, as we lay in bed, I asked if She would like an orgasm before falling asleep. She said She would, but that I would not get one, and I went down and licked and fingered Her to glorious orgasm before we slept.

I was glad that She got to associate the discipline session with the subsequent orgasm.

This morning I offered to lick Her arse which She accepted – it has been a sexually pleasant 12 hours for Her. My cock is hard.

Discipline

It's Sunday today.

According to the new rules I am to present myself for a disciplinary receipt of 15 strokes of the cane when we go up to bed.

I think She may be looking forward to it... I wonder. Maybe She'll let me off? I doubt it though.


I'll let you know tomorrow.

Double David Day

Friday morning Mistress kindly wanks me in bed – until I cum!

I lay there and thanked Her throughout the process – “Ahhhgn! That feels sooo good! Thank You. Gooood, that feels good!” What a wimpy arse I am. Why didn’t I just shut up? Anyway, She was good enough to keep going until I came!

Friday evening Mistress came home and sat on the bathroom stool to chat to me while I soaked in the bath.

She rarely does this. In fact, as a rule, She only does it when She’s got a “David confession” to make…

So she chats lightly for a little while, then the truths begin to emerge.

She went for a posh lunch out with this guy in Her office that wants to screw Her – a married guy called David (Let’s call him ‘Dave’ and Her established boyfriend ‘David’ – then we’ll know who we’re talking about). She wants to screw him too. They went to Her favourite restaurant. He paid. 12:30 to 3:15. That’s quite a lunch.

I smile and listen and chat to Her – suppressing any jealousy while She tells me about lunch. The way She tells it, they did no flirting at all – they just talked about work.

Yeah. If course. From 12:30 to 3:15 and all they talked about was work and not shagging each other.

It gets more interesting. When She got back to the office, She decided to text Her other David to see if She can provoke a response out of him.

David recently moved in to live with his girlfriend, and moved a few miles out of town – so he is not around as much, and neither does he have a bachelor pad to take Her back to – so they are not seeing as much of each other.

Interesting that a working lunch with Dave makes Her want to screw David…

I chuckle and listen and hide any jealous worries.

David never replied. He often doesn’t – but he could be abroad on holiday or anything for all She knows.

She claims She’s had enough of David. Because he didn’t reply! But She texted him! I don’t understand it.

Anyway. That was Friday. Today is Saturday and we’re going to watch a movie. ‘It’s Complicated’. A chick flick. Then we’ll got for drinks at the bar She usually meets David at. Let’s hope he’s not there and She doesn’t send me home alone….

Alpha Male

I am obsessed by blowjobs. How come She jumps on David’s cock and sucks it as much as She can? Why does She not choose to suck my cock? Why, in fact, does She refuse to suck my cock?

I could ask the same thing of anal sex, but of course I know my cock is huge, and would hurt more than his – but She has chosen to take mine many times.

Over years I drifted away from these activities, out of respect for Her. Now She gets them elsewhere and I am obsessed by it.

But when She told me to take them freely, I didn’t. I couldn’t. I felt too disrespectful.

But I want to… But I can’t.

Jeez.

New Rules

Yesterday Mistress presented me with these new rules. I am to signa and return them to Her today, and then live by them.

LOVING MISTRESS' FEMALE DOMINATION CONTRACT

RULES

• You will say “yes sweetie” every time I ask you do something, in private or in public.

• You must say “excuse me mistress” in private, before you disagree with me about anything and always ask permission to air your view.

• If we are in public and you wish to disagree with anything, you MUST start by saying....”with due respect”..............and you MUST remain polite and respectful the entire time!

• You will NOT be rude or patronising to me under ANY circumstances, in private or public.

• You will not raise your voice at me or get angry and cross with me under any circumstances. You will calmly let me know what exactly you are unhappy about.

• You will immediately let me know anything I have done that you are unhappy with; anything that leads me to think you have been harbouring issues will lead to punishment.

• If I am unhappy with you in public I will use the word “silly” and that means that I am unhappy and you are out of line & you will be punished.

• If you want to know where I am or what I am doing ask respectfully!

• If I have to make my tea / breakfast on any morning = punishment, unless you have cleared it with me in advance & I think it is a valid reason.

• If I say to you “this is the last time I am asking you to get up & go make tea”, means that if I tell you one more time to get up and make tea, you will be punished.

• You can initiate sex if you wish, but always ask permission to do so.

• You will not make any alpha male sexual references like screwing me in the arse etc. You will only screw me in the arse once a year, on your birthday, if I think you deserve it! – That is, if you have earned less than an average of 1.5 punishments per month. You will have the punishment record so we can check. The rest of the time, the only interaction between you and my arse is when you lick it.

• You will get a blow job once a month if I feel you have earned it the month before - that is, no more than 1 punishment the month before.

• You will do chores at home when you are around...like doing the laundry and unloading the dishwasher. It should not interfere with your work...you do it when you take a break from working. If you are unable to do it, you must let me know before I find it not done and have to do it myself.

• Any time you displease me and I say to you “I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT....” I want a WRITTEN APOLOGY WITHIN 24 HOURS, or you will be punished.

• You will always ensure your breath is fresh at ALL times – punishable offence if not.

• You will keep your pubes and face freshly shaved all the time.

• You will NOT play golf MID WEEK UNTIL you start making decent money and UNTIL I say it is ok to do so.

• You will ask permission and check with me first before you arrange any golf games.

• You will not show any signs if DESTRUCTIVE jealously if and when I choose to cuckold you.

• You will NOT compare yourself to any other person (if any) that I chose to fuck!

• In dealing with the issue that I am (if that is the case) screwing someone else, you will never refer to the kind of sex we used to have. That time is gone and we are new people enjoying a different life together – we have moved on – live with it happily!

• You will NOT be entitled to know what I do sexually with anyone else, unless I choose to tell you.

• You will do or not do anything else that you think is fitting of a submissive husband to please / serve his wife.

PUNISHMENT
• This will be in the form of strokes or any other form that I chose, for example, denial of sex.

• You will keep a record if all the punishments owed. There will be extra punishment for any omissions.

• You will present yourself for punishment (and let me know you are doing so) on the day the punishment is earned or the next appropriate day, immediately after we put the kids to bed.

• You will not make noises loud enough to wake the children – if loud; I will double the amount at the time of giving the said punishment.

• You will NOT try to talk or argue yourself out of punishment.

DISCIPLINE

• 15 strokes.

• They will be given once a week on a Sunday night – when we go to bed. They are therefore, not to be given at the same time as any punishment.

Signed: .............................................

[Sub Hubby]
25 Jan 2010

Upon discussion She clarrified that the 'alpha male' sexual references I am not allowed to make include any and all alpha male type stuff - specifically this means I am not allowed to talk about Her giving me a blowjob, but generally it means I am not to make any alpha male sexual referrences.

Kinky!

Kinky Blogga, since you ask so nicely, here's one of us just before She went down on my in the post you commented on.

Sorry I've had to edit it, but you know...

More humiliation

A couple of days ago we had a huge row - over money! – we don’t often argue about money.

Mistress wanted to buy Herself a new coat. I suggested that that might not be a priority right now, and she told me it was my fault we don’t have enough (I’m in the process of starting a new business, and not earning any income from it yet).

I hit back, saying that actually it was Her fault, because we live in this huge expensive house that She chose to buy.

She said that if I felt like that I should not have bought it… but that I had done so ‘because she was my Queen and so I did it for my Queen’ in a very mimicky voice – which is true – I agreed to buy it for Her, not because I wanted it.

I resented the way She accused me of being a stupid submissive and agreeing to buy the house for Her. This took me immediately back to the “reluctant FemDom, enthusiastic fucker” that I think She is – She has never been as keen to advance FemDom as She is to advance her extra marital sex…

So I was mega pissed off and sulked for about 48 hours. I resolved to never submit to Her again. Never eat Her pussy. Never lick Her arse. Never!

Then last night in bed She asked me to play with Her pussy, which I did. While I played She did Her trick of asking me what I was thinking and of course I told Her – that I was thinking how badly She had treated me and how cross I was, and that I would never eat Her pussy again, but here I was, just about to go down on it even though She never went down on me. In due course we were fucking and I quickly came. She told me to go down and eat Her clean and to orgasm which I did.

The humiliation is too much. She treats me like shit, never sucks my cock and then has me go down on Her. And I do it. Why am I so week for Her?

This morning, just to confirm my submission I offered to eat Her arse before we got out of bed – She gladly agreed and I penetrated Her lovingly with my tongue before going to make tea.

Who are you?

About 700 people visited this blog over the weekend. If you click on the map at the bottom of the page, and then scroll down to the bottom of that page, you can see where in the world the last 100 or so visitors came from.

I find it fascinating. Most of you come from the USA. But there's plenty more from all over the world. There are some closer to me, in the UK.

Who are you all? Men? Women? Why are you here? Do you live FemDom lives? Do you know what Femdom is? Do you visit me regularly? Or is this a one off?

Please feel free top leave a comment so we can understand a bit more about who we all are that pass through this place - and please fill in today's survey.

See you again soon!

Oral Sex

On Sunday morning I woke up horny (nothing unusual about that!) and tinkered with my cock a bit in bed.

I asked Mistress if She minded me playing with it a bit, and She said it was fine to go ahead so I rubbed and dreamed.

While I tinkered I was imagining how good it would feel if She rolled over towards me in the bed and either took over playing with it, or, even better, took it into Her mouth – yowser! That would be good.

But She didn’t.

I told Her I that these were my thoughts, and She said ‘in your dreams – I’m not giving you a blowjob’, and that was that.

She told me to make myself cum because She wasn’t going to.

I explained to Her that this was so humiliating – I eat Her whenever She wants, many times this year already, but She never eats me. She agreed, and said that’s how it should be, and grinned while I gently wanked.

I really didn’t want to cum under such humiliating conditions, but I was so horny I had do, throwing my spoof onto my chest and having to clean it up with no interaction from Her.

By Sunday night I was still feeling relieved from having cum, but I decided to make my cock hard before She got into bed, because I know that when She feels my hard on She can get horny – especially at night.

Sure enough She did, and told me to go down on Her. I commented again at the injustice and humiliation of constantly going down on Her even though She does not go down on me.

But I did it, eating Her to glorious orgasm, before She let me put it in Her and cum again.

I am privileged, lucky and grateful to have sex with Her at all – but it is humiliating, especially when She always blows anyone else She is in bed with.

This picture with this blog was taken a few years ago, when She used to give me blow jobs just about every time we had sex…

Sex

Last night in bed Mistress told me to play with Her pussy. I deliberately use the word ‘told’. She did not ask me if I want to, nor suggest that I do. ‘Play with my pussy!’ She said, and I did. Gladly.

It lead to great sex. Not sexual athleticism a-la-David, but great sex non the less.

I loved that She initiated it. I basked in the pleasure that She wanted it.

As we screwed I expected Her to ask what I was thinking – She usually does this. But this time She did not. I resisted the urge to tell Her what I was thinking anyway, as I did not want to impose on Her.

She pulled out Her butterfly and used that on Her clit while I was deep in Her. I love it when She has the self assurance to pull that out while we fuck – it indicates that She is comfortable with where She is.

Crossed Wires

Things are good, but not perfect. I am confused. I’ll tell you why.

Do I want to, or does She want me to?

Yesterday morning I offered to lick Mistress’ arse before getting out of bed to make Her tea. I used to ask if She’ like me to lick Her arse or pussy, but 99% of the time She chooses arse, so I just offered that, and She immediately said yes, She would like me to.

A few seconds later, when I had not gone down on Her yet, She said ‘If you want to lick my arse then you better do it now, because it’s time to get up’.

I’m afraid I didn’t take this lying down (no pun intended). I replied that I didn’t want to lick Her arse, but would be pleased to do so only if She wanted me to. She confirmed She did, and so I did.

So why did She say ‘if I want to do it’? Did She or did She not want me to do it? I don’t get it. She says She did… Maybe I’m over analysing the situation…

The offer

This year I have offered to lick Her arse more often again – She always says yes, so I figure She likes it. It is obviously a submissive and loving thing to do for/to Her, and I want to submit and show my love to Her, so I offer Her this pleasure.

But I’m tempted not to offer it again – if She thinks She’s doing me a favour ‘allowing’ me to do it then I don’t want to do it.

Why does She allow this confusion into my/our lives?

Wanking

Yesterday I had a wank. I don’t often do this, as I like to leave my orgasm for Her choosing. But since I don’t understand what She wants, and I new what I wanted (– a good wank!) I did it, and had a HUGE orgasm – it was great!

FemDom

Mistress has not mentioned the re-introduction of FemDom (as defined in my earlier blogpost). I’m not going to bring it up – because I’m happy as we are, and I don’t want to push the issue – if She wants it then I want it, but if She does not want it then I’m not taking us there.

When She wants something (eg to shag David!) then She is not backward about coming forward – so either She does not want this, or She has some thoughts going on that I’m not aware of – and I’m not going to ask.

So we are happy, but I’m a little confused. I’m not letting it trouble me. I have resolved to accept Her love with respect and return it fully, basking in it and not imaging problems where She does not tell me there is a problem…

Second Thoughts

I found this story on Literotica.

It is incredible - it mirrors our circumstances and inner thoughts so closely.

I spoke to Mistress about it and we both agreed that the author must have lived through this experience - there are just too many truths in here.

The only difference is that I am a big black cuckold with an enourmous cock - and She is actually loving it with a smaller, white guy who uses his cock better!

Have a read, and think about it before you lead your Wife down this route!

Comfortable Stand Off

Things are in a comfortable stand off at the moment, and have been so through the Christmas and New Year period.

I spoke to Mistress about my view – that I was not comfortable living the cuckold lifestyle outside of a FemDom relationship. She responded that She felt we were living a FemDom relationship, in a FemDom style of Her choosing.

I accepted that I was living in a submissive relationship to Her, but not in a FemDom relationship – and on questioning defined a FemDom relationship as having the following 4 elements, all of which have once been present in our relationship, but none of which are currently present in our relationship having all been removed at Her instigation:-

1) Rules that the submissive must live by.

2) Punishment for breaking the rules.

3) Discipline to affirm the submissive relationship, and

4) A clear hierarchy of Dominant and submissive.

I explained that I was very happy that She had chosen to lead our lifestyle away from those elements, and that I was not complaining about that nor asking for them back, but I was just uncomfortable with Her removing all those elements, and only retaining the cuckolding element, with which it was all gain for Her, with nothing in it for me.

We discussed this and She accepted it all.

But after a day or too She brooded over it and became upset with it – arguing I’d moved the goalposts on our 15 year relationship, throughout which I’d encouraged Her to go with other guys which I was now going back on just as She was getting comfortable with it and enjoying it for the first time.

We debated this – pleasantly and rather vociferously at times.

She concluded that Her preferred lifestyle was a proper cuckold FemDom relationship with all 4 elements that She would re-introduce.

As you can imagine, I’m obviously thinking that the only reason She wants to do that is to ‘buy’ Her freedom to cuckold….. So it’s a tricky balance.

Anyway, She’s worked this out, and so far has not made any moves wither way. We’re getting on fine without clarifying things further for now, so we’ll settle someplace some day soon, for a while…

This weekend I woke up with a hard on and starting gently wanking as I cuddled Her. I whispered to Her that I would like to cum, and asked if She was happy for me to cum. She turned and cupped my balls in Her hand, saying I could cum if I wanted to.

I wanked gently.

I said to Her that I’d actually prefer to cum under Her hand, or in Her mouth, or over Her tits, but only if She wanted me to – and I’d be happy to just wank otherwise. But, I explained, the ‘just wanking’ was very humiliating to me.
She chose the humiliating route, and told me to go ahead and wank – so I did.

Next day (yesterday) as we got into bed, She told me to go down on Her, which I did, eating Her to orgasm.

So She gets to enjoy oral sex whenever She wants, including me eating Her arse, and I get the humiliation of wanking myself….

After She came She invited me to screw Her which I did – I gently spooned into Her from behind and had a great fuck. But the whole experience was very humiliating.

But I think we’re both happy in this uneasy truce.

I have resolved to do my utmost to just be happy, enjoy life, and support whatever decision She makes in a genuinely happy way- provided I can actually do that.

More action?!

So last night Mistress went off for Her final office party. I was in a pretty bad mood as She got ready to go, because She was talking about another David (this one’s called Dave) that has been hitting on Her and that She’s clearly interested in. Watching Her get all dressed up to go out and perhaps end the night screwing him got me a bit wound up.

I went out for some beers with some buddies of mine, and we both got back home at the same time – about 1am.

I was relieved to see Her home – at least She was not off shagging Dave or Chris (the guy from last week).

She tells me though that Dave was hitting on Her hard, and that She agreed to screw him, but at another place and time… He was emailing and hitting on Her from his Blackberry after the party – hoping they could go off together and have their wicked way.

Today She’s all excited about every contact She’s having with him – She’s clearly turned on at the thought of fucking him.

I’m finding it a bit weary – now that we’re not living such a FemDom life - and that was the justification for Her screwing David in the first place – I’m not too keen on the idea of Her screwing around. If I’m not Her submissive then why would I be happy for Her to have other guys?

I can’t decide whether to talk to Her about it or not. The fact of the matter is I don’t fuck Her as well as David did (or does? I don’t know), so She wants to find it elsewhere – is it fair for me to stop Her? Probably not…I should let Her just get on with it and enjoy Her sexual vitality as much as She can – but I’m kind of feeling that 2010 should be the year of rededication to each other…

Someone else…

Mistress didn’t hear from David Friday, even though he had said he’d be in touch. The man has no manners, just great cock action (apparently).

Anyway, Mistress decided instead to have one of the young men from work – some guy 10 years younger than her that has been pining after Her. She brought him home (here!) at 4 am and shagged him in the family room for 2 hours!

When he left She came up to bed and said he was the lousiest shag she’d ever had – small cock that never got hard and he didn’t cum… Longest lousy fuck I’ve ever heard of!

But she says She is ‘mortified’ that She did it. She did have a hangover for 2 days, so She might not have been all there when She did….

She says She’s cured of other men and doesn’t want any side action again! Interesting claim, because today is another office party night and they will both be there together –interesting to see if he dares to hit on Her again.

Apparently as he left last time She told him that if he’s going to screw Her again then he’ll need to grow a bigger cock that get’s harder! Ouch! I don’t think he’ll try again, but we shall see!

Meantime life is great and we are happy. We screw so much I can't even get hard when I'm not in bed with Her these days...

Waiting game.

I hate this waiting game. She's out having fun. I've not heard from Her in 3 hours. Experience tells me that means She's talking to him (on text). Will She meet him or will She not? Has She met him or has She not? Or will She come back to me?

I don't like it - I'd actually be happier if She never saw him again. But I know She likes meeting him so I won't ask Her not to.

But I don't like it.

So many changes!

Mistress texted David a few days ago. After some discussion She settled on ‘Fancy a Shag? X’.

He replied…saying he did but it would be difficult as he’s moved to a new neighbourhood and is now living with his girlfriend! So getting away would be tricky, and of course he’s not got his own place any more!

Well, Mistress was surprised. But She suggested to him they meet up this Friday (today) after Her office party, and that he come back here – to which he replied ‘OK. X’.

So She asked me to put a lock on the spare bedroom door, so the kids can’t burst in on them shagging, which I’ve done. So now it just remains to be seen whether they hook up or not. Based on his past record it won’t be until 11pm at least until he raises his head above the parpet, but which time anything could happen…

She was definitely ‘on edge’ this morning – getting dressed to go out knowing She might be meeting him. We shall see.

Golf

I just got off the golf course with my buddy. We were talking and anal sex came up (as it does when guys talk!). He reckons women don’t like anal sex. Certainly my missus doesn’t seem to like it with me much, but She’s never shagged David and NOT taken it up the arse. So if they meet up today, She’ll want it in the arse.

If they don’t meet up today, then I’m going to try for some arse myself and see if I can get it tonite!

Great weekend

We had a great weekend. A good time with the family, then us two went out Saturday night for a movie ('Law Abiding Citizen') which we enjoyed, and then we went out partying and dancing until the wee hours of the morning. Came back and shagged, Slept and shagged. Talked and loved, and then had a great evening with the kids again.

Life is good :)

A little clearer

I'm feeling a little better after unloading my emotions to you all yesterday - it helped me think it through. I'm not 100%, but I am happier.

For years I did not give Mistress the sex I used to. And I encouraged Her to find another lover. When She found one She liked and did the things we used to do it drove me insane with jealousy - I want to be the only one doing those things with Her.

But I don't. I can't. So why fight it - why not accept how lucky I am to have such a loving, beautiful Wife. And why not be glad that She has also managed to find someone who can give Her the good fucking that She needs on ocassion?

Rejoice and celebrate - don't lament what might have been. It has not!

Orgasms

While we talked that night, She told me that She never has an Orgasm with David. Only with me. She said that David knows this, and this upsets him. That’s why he does not approach Her as often as he might – because it hurts him that She only cums for me.

But She gets so wet fucking him that She squirts. She’s never done that for me.

I’m not sure I believe Her.

I’m not sure it matters whether I believe Her or not. The think about being a cuckold is you don’t KNOW what goes on. You just live with it.

Should I feel better that She said this? At the very least it proves Her heart is in the right place.

What I try to do is this: To not show my uncertainty to Her, and to not ask anything of Her other than Her happiness. That’s what I go for.

Injustice and Acceptance

The day after we had the discussion below Mistress gave me a blowjob in the morning. I had placed Her hand on my cock while in bed that morning – so I kind of initiated things.

I didn’t complain – I wanted it! But I did feel odd as She did it. Was She doing it because I ‘complained’ I was not getting enough? Did She do it to bolster my confidence? Or did She doing it because She wanted to? Could I ever know the answer to that question?

I conclude, even though I do not want to, that it is unsatisfactory me asking for or initiating sex that is for my benefit.

But She tells me She wants me to.

But She also tells me She would not be comfortable going to back to the place we once lived where I did that…

On my last birthday, as a birthday present She gave me anal sex – just to prove that She could give Her arse to me, and not only to David. I LOVED it! Because She chose and gave me the present – I didn’t ask or demand it – so I loved it as a gift from Her.

This cuckold stuff puts one in a very awkward place.

I feel that I would prefer to live a life of accepting that She shags David when She wants a real shag, and shags me when She wants to. Then I’d know where I stood.

Frustrated

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