Eating Pussy

Last night as we got into bed Mistress told me to go down and eat Her pussy. ‘You better eat My Pussy’ as the words She uses for this.

I was feeling very horny and massaged Her breast as She instructed me, but She removed my hand from Her and said ‘Just get on with it’, and so I did. I go down under the duvet, so She can remain warm while I eat Her.

It occurred to me as I ate Her that this is now how sex starts in our marital bed. If She wants sex, She give me this instruction. 99% of the time it never varies – on average, once every 2 days I get this instruction and I eat Her to orgasm before She allows me penetrate Her from the side and cum in Her.

Hers must surely be one of the most eaten pussies in the world! Other people crave oral sex – She has it on tap, every two days. And every morning I lick and tongue Her arse as well.

She sucks my cock when She wants to – roughly once every month or two, for a short while. Never to orgasm.

This morning I was horny again and asked for permission to wank, but She denied it and I remain horny now.

Behind closed doors

Just before we went on holiday Mistress and I had a blazing row about Her relationship with Dave.

We had gone out with another couple to watch some cricket. Dave was at the match, and Mistress was Cracking him on Her BBM in front of me and others. I asked Her not to, but She carried on, so I grabbed Her Blackberry and threw it over the side of the stand where it shattered onto the ground below. That solved my immediate problem, but as you can imagine, things were a little rough between us for a few days. Jealousy does these things…

The problem is She cracks him all day, doesn’t reply to me text messages to Her, and then She shows me Her Crack history and I can see the date & time of every message, and I can see they’ve been at it all day while She’s ignored me.

Mistress has always insisted that I can see Her Crack exchanges with him, because She ‘has nothing to hide’ – ‘it all means nothing’ She says.

We discussed this last night. After some debate and discussion we agreed that from now on Mistress would not share Her BBM history with me, unless She specifically chose to. The assumption would be that they would crack all the time, and I would never see it. Ever. Unless She chose to share it with me.

I am much happier with this. It means I have no way of tracking all the time She dedicates to him, and so I have less to be jealous about.

This morning when I came down to make tea, She did not have a message waiting for him on her Crackberry, so I knew they had not spoken by the time She left the house.

But later in the day She texted me to say She was enjoying Her new found crack freedom, and the knowledge that She would not have to justify Her actions to me.

So when She came home, I asked Her if Dave had finally broken his silence, and She answered ‘Yes. He sent me a message “Good morning hot woman”’. She thought about it, then She said to me “ Did we not agree that you would not as me about my conversations with him?”

“No”, I replied, “We agreed I would not ask to see your conversations with him. But if you want me to not ask anything about your conversations with him then you only need to say so, and I’ll stop asking.

She thought about it some more and then told me to stop talking to her about Her relationship with Dave at all. I am to ask nothing, say nothing, expect nothing. She will tell me everything and anything She wishes to tell me, if anything. Apart from those choices, their relationship will be personal to the two of them, and I will be excluded from it.

Of course I agreed. We are now living like that.

I said to Her that I am glad She is enjoying this new found freedom, and to remember, that She can choose to enjoy similar freedoms and control in any aspect of our relationship that She chooses.

PS: Mistress caned me harder than ever before for my behaviour with Her Crack.

Magic

Hi. We’re back from a great family holiday in Walt Disney World, Florida. Wonderful time we all had. Apologies for the silence – I was too busy behaving even more like a kid than I usually do!

Mistress didn’t take Her Crackberry with Her – She discussed this with Dave before we left, and he told Her that he would not be taking his to Sydney next week when he goes on holiday – so She felt She couldn’t take Hers!

When we got back it took Mistress only 30 minutes to get onto Her Crackberry and start messaging him. Today was Her first day back in the office – apparently they rode the elevator up and down the building three times snogging – Her rubbing his cock and leaving him with a great big hard on!

The fun is over – 2 whole weeks f knowing he can’t touch Her!. Now its over, let the fun the begin…

Exuberant

Dave’s first BBM message came in at about 7:30 this morning. He was on the train, so had nothing better to do that chat.

‘Can I tell you something naughty?’ he asked.

After some discussion with me Mistress replied ‘You know I love it when you talk naughty’.

‘I want to take your tits out and suck your big hard nipples. Turn you on’. And so it went on from there.

The two of them were on a roll. By the time I’d made the porridge they’d committed every sex act known to man, and some.

So he’s back. And he’s back in the office today, so Mistress dressed carefully – ‘Is this sexy enough?’ She asked me as She turned to look at Her arse in the mirror. Needless to say it was.

She is clearly exuberant. Happy to be back on his sexual radar, and, as She said to me last night, looking forward to fucking him properly.

I’m trying to be positive about it. She’s happy again. That’s good. Her pussy in tingling from talking to him. That’s good. And She’s looking forward to fucking him. Great.

But my heart is beating faster. She’s on the prowl. He’s on the prowl. They are going to spend time and orgasms together, and I won’t be part of it.

Morning Glory

For some time now – days or weeks – the detail escapes me! – I have submitted to Mistress’ arse with enthusiasm, daily.

I now try to always offer to lick Her arse about ten minutes before it is time for me to get out of bed to go and make the tea, and whereas in the past I would start reluctantly, I now start with long, strong strokes over Her arsehole, before progressing to gentle and then more thorough penetration with my tongue.

She loves it! She squirms, clenches and moans. Sometimes She wanks as I lick – this is great because I get to see Her fingers inches from my nose!

I love it even more on those occasions when She moans “Hmmmm. That was good! Thank you. Now go and make the tea!”.

It makes a wonderfully submissive start to the day, and reminds Her of the basis in which I thrive in our relationship.

Bunny Boilers

She tells me She’s texted him to say “Am I allowed to tell you that I did not like not talking to you for so long? Felt like a lifetime!” His response was “it was so weird wasn’t it. Hey, it’s good to be back!”

I responded that it all looks very friendly – they’ve said a lot without ‘boiling any bunnies’ – and asked if She was happy with it.

She replied that She was happy. She put it like this:- “The fact that he admitted or said that he missed me and was weird we didn’t talk kind makes me feel better. Feels like we’ve been kinda honest with each other in a way. What do you think?” (This latter question to me).

I’m going to duck Her last question, unless She asks it again. Because I think that its odd for him to get back and say it was weird not being in touch, when he could have simply sent Her the odd message while he was away, or told Her before he left that he could not be in touch….But I’m sure She doesn’t want to hear that…

Where are we?

Yesterday Mistress was not happy. Things did not develop with Dave the way She had hoped. They BBM’d through the day, but not very intimately.

This morning She said She might send him a message ‘What are you thinking?’ It seems She is resolved to get inside his head. I told Her this is interesting, given Her constant insistence that She didn’t want to get inside David’s head when She was going out with him – but She said this is different – She started Her relationship with Dave by getting into his head, and She wants to build it that way.

I think that the message She wants to get to him is this:-

I want to know that you are always there for me – as a special friend, as a lover, as a companion. Someone I enjoy being with and who enjoys being with me, someone I can rely on, and who relies on me. In an open, transparent relationship.

A tricky thing to say to happily married man.

I called Her a few minutes ago to ask if Dave had been in touch. She was at Her open plan desk, so She couldn’t talk much, but confirmed that they are in touch, and he’s asked for a coffee date and fuck date – She’s agreed and he is ‘on it’ which are the words he uses to say he’s going to book a hotel room…

She’s just called me back as I write this – he’s now messaged to say he really missed Her while he was away, and She agreed and is wanting to move the conversation in the direction I surmise above, without putting Her foot in it. Interesting times.

As I said to Her in bed this morning, as my cock grew hard at the thought, where does this leave me, if She does manage to develop the relationship the way She wants.

She said it leaves me as Her much loved husband, who takes care of Her, provides for Her, is Her companion, and who occasionally has submissive sex (that She also loves very much) with Her. What a scary place to be!

I want it to develop, and I don’t. But I’m going to help Her. Not lead Her, but support Her.

Up & Down

Dave eventually replied to Mistress’ BBM at midday. He apologised for the delay ‘while his battery was charging’. It was ‘so nice to be back in touch’. He completely ignored the content of Her earlier message to him.

She can’t decide whether he ignored it because it was too subtle, or because he doesn’t want Her giving him a hard time. But She’s clearly not very happy with him ignoring it. She’s wishing She hadn’t sent it…

She tells me, She’s tired of leading him everywhere – he should take some lead himself. So, She tells me, She has not instigated a conversation today – She has only replied to his. Apparently this is unusual.

By 4pm She relented, and decided to instigate a conversation – just in case he thinks She’s sulking or in a bad mood – She no longer wants to appear that way…

She really can’t decide what She wants. Draw him closer? Accept his distance? She’d like him to be closer, but with both of them happily married this is tricky…

I just support Her either way. I don’t think its my place to lead Her – just to be there for Her and be positive.

It’ll be interesting to see how this shapes up. I reckon that once he gets dirty and Her pussy gets wet, all will be immediately and completely forgiven!

Not a squeek!

Things have been quiet.

As Dave left the office for his week away with his wife, he sent Mistress a BBM to say he was leaving his Crackberry in the office – and She’s not heard from him all week. She’s obviously disappointed, though She pretends not to be, so I downplay it.

She toyed with the idea of texting him on his home phone number, but I discouraged this – if he wanted to use that to communicate with Her then he would have done so. She reluctantly accepted this.

Landed back in the UK

He landed back in the UK on Saturday, and She started to eagerly await his communication.

As we fucked on Saturday night She started to talk about him, and asked how I would cope once he was back and the two of them started communicating again.

I replied as I thrust into Her that I would be fine with that – that She needed a real man to fuck Her properly, to treat Her as his slut, to cum on Her face, in Her mouth and in Her arse, and do all the other sexually dominant things that the submissive me was not able to. She groaned with delight and came hard as I shared that with Her.

But come Sunday he still didn’t text.

She’s learned his diary!

She told me She’s not going to see much of him this week – while he’s been away She’s checked his office diary and knows every detail of his planned movements for the week!

Monday (today) She is not in the office.
Tuesday he works from a remote office in which he has a 3pm meeting, so he’s not going to be back before She leaves the office.
Wednesday they are in the office together.
Thursday She has the day off.
Friday they are due to have an office ‘family’ social. He has said he’s not going for that – but he thinks I am going. But I’m not going – I’m too busy, so I won’t be surprised if he changes his plans and goes for that – we shall see.

Fascinating that She knows every detail of his diary.

Facebook

While he’s been away She’s been nosing round facebook – She’s found all his family accounts and taken a look at them….

Contact

We talked about it and agreed that because he’d been quiet all week, he might now find it hard to make first contact.

She said She was going to play hard to get, and would wait for him to make first contact.

I asked if this is really what She wants – to take the risk that he might find it hard to make first contact, or to facilitate that and encourage him to do so? Did She or did She not want to build a relationship with him where next year when he went on holidays they talked about it before he left, and he did stay in touch, or agreed he would not – didn’t just leave without making it clear?

She said She wanted that closer kind of relationship with him, and so we carefully drafted a welcome home message that She sent to his Blackberry.

She said something like:-

Hey you! I hope you are safely back! (smiley face) I have so missed you. You are a * for not contacting me all week. I am so looking forward to seeing you! Xxx

By 9:30 am this morning he’d still not read the message (That’s the beauty of BBM – you can see when the other side has read it) so we don’t know what the impact of the message was going to be.

But Mistress told me that She wants to be able to discuss the week’s silence with him, and agree that they are closer than that, and entitled to clear communication channels – She wants to draw him in.

Getting inside his head

Apparently on their recent away day he asked Her what She was thinking – tried to get inside Her head. He asked Her if She thought it was wrong that he wanted Her to himself.
She blanked him, not wanting to get that close.

She immediately regretted it and decided She did want to get that close – She said that in a year’s time She wants them to be close partners, able to talk about everything without hesitation… So this recent message is supposed to facilitate that sort of discussion and resultant proximity.

We shall see.

Blow Job

Yesterday, because Mistress was on Her away day, a few of the guys, including another husband from her work place, came round and we ate a chilli, sank some beers and watched Inglorious Bastards.

Sure enough, after the coach got in Mistress & Dave went to a pub together where they snogged so much they nearly got thrown out!

They moved outside and She sat on his lap and he got his hand in Her catsuit and played with Her pussy. She played with his cock, and he rose, stood over Her, in their office car park at 10:30 at night, pushed Her down onto Her knees, in that outfit, where She gave him a blow job until he came in Her mouth! On Her knees in the car park! He pushed Her down! She loved it!

So She got home about 11pm. Then apparently today at work, the wife of the other husband who was around here, and who’d heard what time She got in, was asking around to try and find out who She’d gone out with! She even asked Dave, who alerted Mistress by text just now!

Fortunately when She came in last night, She just joined us, and didn’t say who She’d been out with! Otherwise the cat would be out the bag that She’s seeing someone else! Close shave!

After the others left last night She told me about the kissing and blow job, and my cock got hard as She told me. She took it out and wanked it, before telling me to wank to it myself.

As I was cumming I asked Her where I was to cum. ‘He came in your mouth’, I said, ‘Where do you want me to cum?’. ‘On yourself’ She replied, and I groaned as I wanked onto my shirt, soo turned on by the injustice of it – but how many blowjobs does a girl want to give in one night?

Away Day

Well the upshot of last night’s anger is in my response to appy in yesterday’s comment.

This morning Mistress left for Her office away day. She looked so beautiful dressed up that I took this picture before She went.

A LOT of effort went into choosing this outfit – believe me. She likes my help looking good, and I like to help Her – She is such good material to work with!

She sent me a text to saying “Dave’s comment was ‘fuck me you look gorgeous’ so thank you style guru – you delivered again! Xx”

So I am of course happy that She is happy that I helped Her dress well for him (and Her!).

They were having a long day out – champagne brunch, day out boozing, and drinks when they get back – I’m not expecting Her back until reasonably late.

She just called to say Hi! That is unusual – to take time out of Her fun day to call just to say hi – that’s a good sign – my bad behaviour would appear to be forgiven!

I wonder if She will come straight home, or if She and Dave will go off on their own for a little time together when their coach gets back… we shall see.

Meantime, all is well.

Today is ‘goodbye’ day for Her and Dave as he is out the office tomorrow, and then away for his week’s holiday early Saturday morning.

If you’ve not entered the holiday poll please do – let’s have some fun!

Childish rage, or natural jealousy?

I am feeling angry.

I am angry that Mistress took time out of Her busy day to go for coffee with Dave, has undoubtedly spent the whole day messaging him, will spend the whole day out with him tomorrow, and will probably stay out with him well into the night as well.

My anger is childish. She is about to leave the office for Pilates. When She does, She will call me, and I am minded not to take Her call, because I am angry. That’s not very constructive. I know.

My anger is natural. I am Her husband. Her pussy Should get wet for me. She should not feel bad that another man will be away from the office on holiday for a week. If She wants to go for a drink and flirt, it should be with me.

“Tie me up”

Things are not helped by a message She sent him yesterday saying She wants him to tie Her helpless to the bed, and then have his wicked way with Her.

She would not allow me to do this if I asked.

We agreed some time ago that I would not see her BBM exchanges, because of course they upset me.

But She keeps saying She has nothing to hide, and then shows them to me – and when I see that She’s going to let him tie Her up of course I get mad.

If I show Her I am upset, She will be unhappy that She is making me unhappy, then She won’t enjoy Her time with Dave so much (She won’t stop seeing him!) – but the whole thing becomes a nasty spiral. And I don’t want that. I want a happy confident Mistress who fucks Dave however She wants and comes home to dominate and shit on me.

Give me strength.

Too busy for love

Mistress is busy at work. The end of the month is near, and there’s bills to be raised. The year end is upon them, and there are staff feedback forms to be done. Tomorrow the whole office has a day off to all go out together to celebrate the successes of the year.

But She’s not in Friday, and Dave’s not in next week… Tomorrow’s celebration is a very public function – all of them boozing and having a good time from 10am to 9:30 pm (and later I am sure for those that want…). This does not represent a suitable environment to spend time with Dave.

So this morning She takes time out of Her busy schedule to go for a coffee break with him. Why? “Nothing special. No agenda. Just a face to face chat as opposed to BBM. And tomorrow there will then be no need to chat much as we can socialise with others.” Yeah! Like they are going to be more than a meter apart from each other at any time tomorrow!

When She gets back from Her coffee we exchange a few texts. He wants Her to wear a dress tomorrow – so that he has access to Her pussy. She’s planning to wear trousers… We discuss it, and I express the view that he will touch Her cunt with no cloth between it and his fingers no matter what She wears.

She denies this, and then ends our conversation: “I am back to work” She declares. Meaning She’s too busy to message me any more.

That’s fine. But I know for sure, because She will show me Her BBM history this evening, that She will have messaged him throughout the day, with not more than 10 minutes between messages. All day.

This cuckolding thing we have is not just about him having access. It’s about Her preferring to spend time with him than me – because he offers sexual thrills and excitement that I don’t.

I’m still getting used to that – I surprise myself at how accepting of it I’ve become…

(I took the pictures of Mistress about 15 years ago, in my office – back in the days when I used to do macho things like ask Her to take Her clothes off so I could take photos…)

Lover's Tiff

Mistress and Dave had a date this afternoon. They were to adjourn to their favourite local hotel bar, drink and flirt, and then move up to a room and fuck each others brains out for a few hours.

But yesterday he cancelled, or postponed it. He had to travel for work

She was NOT happy. He had known he was double booked, and he’d said he would rearrange the work – but he didn’t.

Apparently he is due off on holiday next week, and the way their diaries are working, they will not get to spend any time together on coffee, lunch or fuck dates before them.

This actually made Her more disappointed than the missed fuck today. She wouldn’t see him for a whole week!

I was surprised. I didn’t think he was that important to Her life.

I discussed it with Her, and She said Her patience was wearing thin. She thought the relationship was going somewhere, but he didn’t seem committed…

Wow! I didn’t realise this relationship required that degree of proximity! A Lover’s tiff! I thought you had to get married to qualify for one of those!

She was so cross that She waited nearly 30 minutes before replying to each of his BBM messages through the day, and She only said She loves his cock and wants to bounce on it about 5 times instead of the usual 20 times…

I don’t think he got the message!

By this morning She had forgiven him. His work was important, and they would and could meet another time.

She said that She never felt disappointed that She would not see him to say goodbye, and I was reading too much into that. I wonder!

Anyway, I was the beneficiary, because She told me to fuck Her last night, which She would never have done if She was meeting him today. She’d have wanted to present him with a tight, clean, pussy.

This morning they had exchanged a lengthy series of fuck me messages before She’d even brushed Her teeth. It seems the forgiveness is fairly absolute.

All’s well that ends well.

Intimate Gesture

Mistress did not invite, instruct or offer me anal sex on my birthday. I was not surprised. But we had a special day anyway. I am lucky to have Her.

As we lay in bed a thought occurred to me.

“There is one thing”, I said to Her, “that you did with David, and have now done with Dave, but that I do not think You will ever do with me.”

“Oh!” She said, clearly, sceptical, “What’s that?”

“Have me wank in Your face. Cum on Your face. Open your mouth and stick out Your tongue so that I can wank on to it.”

“I cannot imagine You allowing me to do that, and I cannot imagine asking to do it. It is such an un-submissive think to do.”

She smiled. “You’re right” She said “I cannot see that ever happening again – I just can’t see it happening. I would not want you to do that, and you wouldn’t do it.”

“But you did it with David, and now you’ve already done it with Dave twice. But never again with me,” I said.

“Yes”, She replied.

Anal Sex (Oh! And Happy Birthday to me!)

Regular readers will know that my entitlement or right to sex, any sex, ceased some time ago, and in particular anal sex.

When Mistress took David’s cock, which is considerably smaller than mine, and not attached to a submissive, up the arse, She loved it so much She decided to stop giving my cock access.

This caused me major trauma, and she relented: I am permitted anal sex once a year. On my birthday. It is my birthday today.

This time last year we were on holiday in Portugal, and in the evening She gave me Her arse, and I took it. I have not had it since, though others have.

Trouble is, I don’t want it on this basis. I don’t want it as an act of largesse. I only want it if She wants me to fuck Her in the arse – as She undoubtedly wants Dave to fuck Her in the arse.

I told Her this some time ago. She has created a beast of an issue with this, and it will not go away. If She offers me Her arse today, or even instructs me to take it, I shall believe it is because She is fulfilling Her annual duty and pledge, and I do not want it as part of such duty.

I could pretend I do, like I did last year, and if nature permits me, I could take it to make Her happy. But that’s down to nature. Nature may dictate that I don’t take it, because I’m not turned on.

It’s going to be an interesting evening… I shall do my best to make Her happy on my birthday.

Holding Hands

As we went up to bed last night Mistress sent Dave a good night text. We discussed what She should say.

“I am off to bed, dreaming about your hard cock.”

Was this too intimate, when he knew that She was actually going to bed with me? Should She add a kiss? (They don’t usually exchange kisses in their messages).

She felt a kiss was too intimate. I said that if She wanted to establish an intimate relationship with him, then it would need to involve kisses. She agreed. He got a message with a kiss.

As we got ready for bed the debate continued and we talked about Mistress’ last date. (Actually, we talk about Dave pretty much all the time).

Following on from a reader’s comment in this blog, I had asked Mistress if She and Dave kissed on their date, and She said yes. On arrival, the first thing he did was give Her a big kiss – upon discussion it turns out they actually exchanged a big kiss…

We discussed the intimacy of the kiss, and kissing generally. Is it intimate? Is it more intimate than fucking? Is it the most intimate thing you can do? Are their kisses ‘intimate’?

We identified a more intimate act: holding hands.

She told me that as the two of them left the pub to go for a walk, Her knickers removed so that he could have ready access to Her pussy as they strolled, She put Her arm round him. He held Her hand and then moved it to his side, holding Her hand as they walked.

Immediately they felt too intimate, and both released their grip. They were not comfortable with it – they don’t have that degree of intimacy.

I can relate to this – I can only walk holding Mistress’ hand if we are happy with each other. If we have argued or are not happy, then I find the act of holding hands hypocritical and uncomfortable.

I asked Mistress if She wanted to get Her relationship with Dave to the stage where they did hold hands comfortably, and She said that yes, She did. In due course, when they were comfortable, She’d like to have an intimate boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him in which they were both happy to hold hands.

I was lying in bed naked as She said this, and my cock got rock hard when I heard it. She saw this, and came to bed to play with it. As She got into bed She lead my cock to Her pussy. No real foreplay at all.

We discussed this too, and I observed that She did not invite me to play with Her pussy as She did with Dave, but just used my cock to fuck Her pussy. She agreed. Dave was for good, sexy times, my cock was just for fucking. ‘What’s wrong with that?’ She asked.

As She drew my cock into Her I told Her I found the idea of the two of them so intimate that in three years time they were still fucking, and were holding hands such a turn on. She moaned as we fucked, clearly turned on by this idea too.

“Imagine if the two of you were so close that you could say to him ‘Richard knows,’ ‘I got tired of running around behind his back, and so I told him about us. I told him I have a relationship with you, I fuck you, and he’s got to deal with it.’.” (Interesting punctuation there!)

She moaned and orgasmed at the idea. She said She too would love that. We slept.

I would love it if She told him and he accepted it. I would love to be submissive to both of them rather than just Her, even if the sole extent of his domination were to ignore me – which is not likely.

Going to plan…

When Mistress got it from Her date with Dave yesterday I asked if he’d got his wicked way, and got his hands inside Her wet knickers.

“What knickers?’ She replied pulling up Her short white skirt to show her naked pussy, ‘He made me take them off!” She smiled at me.

The two had been to the pub for a drink and some groping. Clearly they had a good time.

She said that they sat next to each other while he told Her how he was going to fuck Her, and Her pussy got wet. When he touched it through Her panties he could not believe how wet She was, and he asked Her to go and remove Her panties before they went outside to find a quiet spot for something more intense.

After dinner She told me to bring Her wet panties from Her handbag, kneel before Her in the sitting room and wank.

As I pulled Her pants out of Her bag I could not believe how wet they were. I’ve never seen anything like it!

As I knelt before Her She told me to pull my dick out and wank it while I licked Her pants, and thought about how another man had made Her that wet.

I took out my throbbing cock and sucked the gusset of Her pants into my mouth. As I wanked She asked me what I was thinking, and I replied that I was thinking how good a time She must have had to get so wet, and that I never made Her that wet, and how lucky She was now to have another man to do that to Her.

When I had sucked Her panties dry She told me to rub them on my cock until I came and I did, spurting all over the sitting room floor before wiping it up.

These are the pants She was wearing.

Palma

I am away at the moment - in Palma, working witha friend and business partner (and having fun!)

Dave came round the house yesterday, because I am away, and fucked Mistress. They've finally done it! She sounds very pleased. I'll update you when I get back and have the time. Imagine!

Date Night

Well, they are away on their date night – and what a strange set of plans its been.

Originally he was supposed to book a room in the hotel that they last drank in – and they were going to fuck. But then he pulled away from that, and talked in vague terms of going some other place. Nothing firm ever came of it (no pun intended) and today they decided they would go back to the hotel bar – though they have not booked a room.

Mistress is disappointed – She said She hopes to have shagged him before She gets back tonight, but obviously She’s not going to push it too far with him – She’s going to let him lead, but offer him every encouragement.

Apparently he made some comment at their last lunch date that he ‘loves the chase’. We speculate that he’s old enough to have worked out that a good chase is more fun than a fuck, but who knows. When he gets a look at Her in the outfit She left in, and gets a few glasses of wine down his neck, it’ll be interesting to see where they end up – but on a lovely sunny day like today, the hotel they are going to is going to be fully booked by now… so we shall see.

They left by train at 3:30. She’ll not be back until midnight +/- 3 hours – so about 6 intimate hours with him – smiling, drinking, chatting, touching and perhaps fucking.

Strokes

After Mistress got ready to leave this afternoon, She told me to present myself naked for disciplinary strokes. She gave me 16 strokes of the cane, which She said would be repeated twice as hard if She came back and I exhibited any signs of jealousy – I am to await Her return and greet Her happily when She gets back.

I thanked Her for the strokes and Her kind advice. While She caned me She asked me what She should do when She was out, and I confirm that She should have as much sexy fun as She possibly could.

The promise of seconds

After my strokes Mistress wanked my cock to make it hard. I asked if I could put it in Her but She said no – She was saving it in the hope that he would fuck Her, and She wanted to keep Her pussy nice and tight for him. She promised me seconds when She gets home tonight – or maybe even first if they don’t fuck, but nothing before.

She told me that giving me the strokes has made Her wet, and She pulled Her panties aside and invited me to feel how wet She was – and She sure was! This is the first time I am aware of that She has become sexually excited as a result of caning me.

What’s going on?

Earlier in the week, after a second day of reading constant BBM sex between the two of them, I said to Her that it really hurt me to read their sexy exchanges, and to know how much She wanted him.

She could see that I was really hurt, and She replied that the messages were ‘just crap’ with ‘no meaning’. But I humbly disagreed with Her – they are constant messages – every 2 minutes on average, all through the day, every day. And Her pussy is wet as She writes them – that’s not ‘just crap’, that’s heavy shit, combined with lunch dates and kissing in the lift.

She went quiet and thought about it, then She said:

“I am pursuing a relationship with this guy. I want him to become my boyfriend, and to fuck me well, give me great sex, not just now, but often and into the future.

For me to do that – to capture him and establish that relationship with him - there has to be an attraction, otherwise it won’t work. So what I am doing now is working to establish that attraction and relationship so that we can start fucking and then continue to do so for a long time thereafter.”

Well. That answered my question. She’s trying to win him as a boyfriend with whom She shares a mutual attraction. I guess, to do that She’s going to be kissing him, messaging him and going on dates during which She does not even think of me….That makes sense.

So now I know. It made it so much easier to accept the messaging, the kissing and the dates. She’s trying to establish him as a boyfriend – what else would I expect.

I’m happy with that now – I understand it. And I understand that with nothing but submissive sex from me, She does want and deserve a proper lover with whom She can have and enjoy alpha male sex – that’s what we’ve always wanted for Her – and She’s out now trying to get it.

The great thing is that against this background I am so much clearer and therefore accepting of what is going on. It makes it so much easier.

“Wow the lift”

Those are the words of his morning greeting on Her Crackberry today.

She told me last night that they had a ‘proper’ kiss – he put his arms round her and, my words, touched tongues. ‘Short’, She said, but ‘proper’.

No wonder he went back for seconds!

Being a man, I reckon he’ll want to go back for more today.

The Kiss...

Well… He suggested they have ‘a meeting’ in a quiet meeting room – but they decided against that…

She suggested the lift, and he thought that was a great idea, but they chickened out, and didn’t do that…so there was no kiss yesterday.

But today….they went for a lunch date, and took the lift back up to their floor – and there they had their ‘proper’ kiss.

He liked it so much, he asked for another as She left, and he joined Her in the lift again where they went up and down a few times as they snogged. Apparently they were petrified! But they did it!

Plans for Friday are getting very vague. They’ve pulled back from the hotel in the neighbouring town and are just going for a drink, with him saying ‘who knows where we will end up…’ – so who knows – apparently its all up for grabs. Very strange.

Meantime we had a very heavy discussion last night – too much to go into now – I’ll pick up on that later.

Thanks to those who answered the poll – now you know how it ended!

Catch 22

Yesterday Mistress came home at lunch time and I read the BBMs She’d been exchanging with Dave. My heart was pumping, I was excited, insecure and hurting like hell. She was telling him She would wrap Her naked legs round him and fuck him silly.

I went upstairs and told Her – I’ve just read your BBMs, and I can’t cope with it - it hurts me too much.

She sighed. ‘It’s just crap’, She said, ‘Just talk. I don’t mean it – it means nothing. It’s just crap, bloody good fun, I love it and it means nothing. It’s you I love – you know it – if I ‘m with you then I even ask you what we should say! But I don’t want to hurt you, so if it hurts you then I’ll stop. I love doing it, but I don’t want to hurt you, so I’ll stop.”

And with those words She set my mind at ease. She can do that – set my mind at ease – so easily. So I told Her I was happy for Her to carry on- now that She’d explained it, I was relaxed about it, and I still am today.

But this morning as we lay in bed, my hard on rubbing against Her thigh, She reached for my cock. “I wasn’t supposed to touch this’ She said, ‘But its mine and I’ll do what I want” and She started to wank me.

My mind wondered: Was She doing this to assuage Her guilt? To make me feel good given our conversation yesterday? To show me She wanted to engage with my cock? Because She was thinking of Dave and horny? Or actually because She wanted to?

With all those conflicting thoughts I didn’t really enjoy it as She played with my cock, and I did not cum.

This submissive cuckold thing has a pretty severe impact on my brain. She said She’s not going to touch my cock, now She is. Why?

Of course She is entitled to touch my cock if She wants. I should say She is welcome to. I should feel lucky that She does. But head fuck is head fuck, and on this matter my head is fucked, so I did not cum as She played with me this morning….

The other day Mistress said She doesn’t suck my cock (because I am Her submissive and don’t deserve it, and ) because it is too big and hurts Her jaws to do so. Dave’s is smaller and much easier to suck.

So what I am going to think next time She does suck my dick, if She does?

Be careful what you wish for…

Hey! I’ve got an update on the kissing sage – but I’m not going to share it until after the poll closes tonight. So vote now – will they kiss or not!

Will they kiss today?

In the BBM sex Mistress had with Dave yesterday evening he got very excited (“You are on your knees pointing your arse towards me, and I am putting my cock in you, fucking you deeply…”).

He ended by saying that he had thoroughly enjoyed it, and would not be able to stop himself from kissing Her in the office today – only question was where to go for a snog! Mistress suggests there is nowhere suitable and it won’t happen. But I said what about the lift? Just get in the lift together and press the button for the top floor – you’ve got the place to yourself and plenty of notice before anyone else gets in….

She liked that idea. Hardly anyone uses the lift in their building. She doesn’t think he’ll have thought of it – so question is whether She suggests it to him or not.

What do you think? Will She suggest it to him? Will they kiss? Take the poll!

Fucking Date

The date is now known. He has booked a hotel in a neighbouring town for this Friday afternoon. The two of them will leave for a late lunch, have a drink, move to the hotel room, and fuck before they leave.

The date was set up last Friday.

To prepare me Mistress has said She will not touch my cock at all until She has fucked him.

I have had to wank myself since the date was set up. And there’s still the best part of a week to go.

She is terribly excited, and looking forward to it. They’ve been having BBM sex constantly since the date was set up.

Insecurity

A couple of days ago I was easting Mistress’ pussy and it was considerably wetter than usual. After we were done I asked Her how come She was so wet, and She confessed that She had been thinking about finally getting a hotel room with Dave, and ‘ripping our clothes off and going at it as soon as we walked in the door. That really made me horny,” She said.

Needless to say it made me even more insecure. So much so that I spoke to Her about it (my insecurity) this morning.

I am in the process of launching a new business, and whereas in the past I would work all night and all day, now I like to lie with Her in bed until She wakes up, and lie with Her in the evening watching telly – just to be with Her and hold Her – to ‘protect’ ‘my’ relationship – and its affecting the hours I’m putting in to the business – and we need the income.

We discussed it in a level headed way, and we’ve yet to resolve it. But she’s just called to say She’s going for coffee with Dave this evening – so my insecurities aren’t going anywhere…

It occurred to me that while Rome was a second honey moon, and we shagged every day, Mistress never once reached for my cock and just played with it, or took it into Her mouth and sucked it. Yet when She anticipates getting it on with Dave that is exactly what She is looking forward to doing.

She was hoping he’d ask Her to a hotel this evening, but he’s not done (yet!). But if he did, She would hold his cock, play with his cock and such his cock – as well as fuck it. I only got the fucking.

I should consider myself very, very lucky. But I consider myself uncontrollably insecure.

Update…

Mistress just called. They had a pleasant coffee. They talked about when they might next meet. There is an office drinks do Friday next week – they could split away from that and ‘they could end up anywhere’ (His words – meaning in a hotel!) Then they have an office do a couple of weeks later (‘not sure I can cope with that because I won’t be able to keep my hands off you…’)

So to make it easy they’ve arranged lunch this Friday and then they’ll take it from there. I said to Her, it scary how intimate this whole thing is becoming…

Together

They are together right now. Sitting next to each other. Looking at each other, smiling. Eyeing up Her legs. Looking at his chin. Thinking of kissing, touching, of fucking. Sharing their weekend and their day. Soon, at this time, then will adjourn to fuck instead. And I’ll be sat here thinking about it.

Intimacy

What is intimacy? For four days we walked round Rome, literally, hand in hand, sat next to each other chatting laughing and kissing, and fucked all night. As Mistress says, I’m the lucky one – the one She’s with (And wants to be with) all the time.

While we are there She gets a BBM message from Dave – “Just been to see Stevie Wonder at Glastonbury. Can’t wait to see you and tell you all about it”.

“Rome is wonderful”, She says to him, “I can’t wait to tell you all about it.”

I said to Her I don’t mind if all they do is fuck, but the guys is getting too intimate with Her – why does he want to tell Her all about his week end, and hear all about Hers?

Her response: If two people are going to get together, not just to fuck, but to fuck often and for a long time, as they are planning to do, as boyfriend and girlfriend, then there has to be an attraction there, and in their case there is that attraction.

Another snippet I learned while in Rome – apparently the two of them have talked about when they were first attracted to each other. In Her case it was the very first time She saw him in the office and he gave Her an ‘I’m going to fuck you’ look. In his case it was a few months later at an office party when he decided to give it a go.

So they both know what the other does to the other.

Way too intimate. They have both agreed they want to fuck, not just a few times, but (to quote him) for a long, long time to come.

As She keeps reminding me – that’s what I always wanted for Her – a real boyfriend She could fuck well and often – to regularly give Her the alpha male sex I stopped providing some years ago.

That might be what I always wanted, but She's just called to tell me She is walking across to meet him for coffee (they walk across seperately so they are not seen leaving together - then they kiss in the coffee shop!). As the two of them leave for coffee now to catch up on each other’s weekends, I say talk was cheap. I didn’t know what I was talking about!

First day back...

This morning Mistress expressed doubt that Dave would want to continue their affair! That’s women for you! Why? Anyway, She got the idea into Her head. I assured Her this was not the case, and offered to take a bet on it – She agreed, and if he contacts her via BBM or IM in the office today, then I get to cum in Her pussy once for free – I don’t have to pay for it with strokes of the cane (see my earlier post on this).

So this morning Mistress starts to text me – conversation below. She has NEVER sent me this many texts in a morning – the only reason She’s done it is because She was worried about Her relationship with him. How does that make me feel! And why do I encourage Her?

Mistress (10:23):
Looks like you will not be winning your bet. I've been here half an hour and not a peep on IM or crackberry! I might just win this one! xx

Me (10:25):
hmmm. very strange. I sat just a matter of time. unless u break the ice... xx

Mistress (10:27):
It is v. strange. Mmmm I prob could break the ice if I hear nothing in 30mins. He's on the phone right now xx

Me (10:29):
actually, I've thought about it. I am never wrong about these things. he wants to and/or will make contact even if you don't break the ice.

Mistress (10:33):
Why do u think so? He's usually quick. So what's going on in his head? Xx

Me (10:36):
1) He MIGHT actually be busy & waiting for a quiet minute before making contact.
2) He MIGHT be a little scared coz u made contact from Rome & so wants to proceed with caution. I think option 1. xx

Mistress (10:57):
I think 2 myself. Altho, he txted me on my mobile (while we were in Rome) which in my opinion was a tad risky! xx

Me (11:00):
that's one of the reasons I think 1. plus he said he's looking fwd to sharing his stories. if u r worried then break the ice. x

Me (11:01):
if its option (2) then he is fearing that he texted u just as much as u textsd him so no need to fear.

Mistress (11:02):
I guess, he's just walked away from his desk with his crackberry and mine has just beeped whilst typing this xx

Me (11:03):
as expected then.... x

Mistress (11:03):
He's just broken the ice and has said good morning and I've said morning! How r u? See what he says xx

Me (11:05):
:)

Mistress (11:08):
He reckons he is snowed with work xx

Me (11:09):
well you know me - I never say I told u so! good. xx

Me (11:17):
if/when u smile nicely at him and tell him u hated not hearing from him, he will feel really good. X

Mistress (11:28):
As we are both very busy we've arranged a 3pm coffee for a catch up xx

Me (11:29):
That makes sense! Not! But I'm sure you'll enjoy! xx

Mistress (11:30):
I 'll be leaving, we can chat then and not bbm now and instead concentrate. Same way no more txting for you & I. Back to work xx

Me (11:31):
Xx

So that’s it – I’ve served my purpose and must now go back to focussing on my work!

When in Rome...

As I mentioned in my comment yesterday, we just got back from a great weekend in Rome. Fantastic. We highly recommend it, even though it is the most expensive place we’ve ever visited, it was great.

We toured the sites, dined al fresco twice a day, drank far too much, and fucked like rabbits – at least twice and often 3 times a day!

Having time to ourselves (we left the kids with my mum) we were really able to explore Mistress’ relationship and what it meant to both of us – we talked about it lots, happily. This made us horny as hell, and we just did it!

Mistress bought a little vibrator She liked in a sex shop there, and on that day She came like 4 times! Exhausting.

She and Dave were in touch all through the weekend, exchanging a few messages through the day, though I think She’d have liked to be in touch more.

Due to all the fucking we did, this morning Mistress announced a new rule. Whenever I cum in Her I am to make a note of it. When She next canes me I am to roll a dice for each time I came in Her, and She will give me that many additional strokes of the cane.

She says that this way I won’t make the mistake of taking Her pussy for granted. I certainly won’t.

With 7 days in a week and an average number rolled of 3 this makes 21 strokes for cumming in Her once a day, plus 15 strokes for discipline – that’s a minimum of 36 in all! Needless to say I did not try to put it in Her this morning.

Up Date

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

London II

Well, they are in London together again. They got an early train up this morning.

They are going to work until early afternoon, and then go to the pub this afternoon (well, that’s the plan). She’s not said what time She’ll be back – because it could be literally any time – depends what he throws at Her.

She told me She things he wants to fuck Her as soon as possible.

Apparently they didn’t ride up in the train together as the carriages were full – so they say apart and exchanged BB messages all the way. I wonder if he’s going to try and get Her into a hotel room this afternoon. He knows She’s up for it….

I wonder if he hinted at that in his messages earlier today…

This could be the day. I’m not sure how I’ll feel about it if he turns out to be a ‘dirty fuck’ like She hopes he will…

Coffee report

They went for coffee and discussed every day things – the latest political scandal, kids access to the internet, and other such trivia that a wife really shouldn’t be going off to meet another man to discuss. Quite discomforting really.

Of course they also discussed tomorrow’s day out… They will be in the pub from 3pm to 7pm. Last time they did that (a whole week ago!) he ended up with his fingers down Her pussy and their tongues down each other’s throats… And She’s insisted She’s wearing a dress again, not trousers. She ALWAYS wears trousers – the only reason for a skirt is so he can get easy access…

Fucking dates

They are just about to leave the office on another coffee date. She's started dressing for him every day now - She always dresses well, but now She's only choosing gear that is sexy.

Last night as we fucked She first told me She's not sure if She'll ever fuck him, then She said She's dying to fuck him, and after She has, She wants to be fucking him very often, because She thinks he's going to be 'a really dirty fuck'. Which clearly I am not.

Tomorrow they are both going to London. First to do some work, but more so that they can go to the pub together for the evening, smooch, canoodle and grope each other!

Drinks

Mistress (12:24):
Wanna meet for a drink at 1? Xx can pick me up

Me (12:25):
:) I ALWAYS wanna meet you - I'll call u when I get there. :) xx

Mistress (12:25):
Ok xx

Me (12:51):
leaving now...x

Mistress (12:51):
Ok, c u shortly xx

Me (15:02):
I hate you you mad bitch! I hope you go to the pub with Dave and others to watch the game so you have to keep your hands off him. Serve you right! Meeting me and him on the same day, you greedy woman! xx See you soon. Love you. Me xx

Mistress (15:05):
No actually not going, so there! He isn't either client coming here instead. Love you xx

Me (15:10):
good! x

Back and Forth...

Mistress (11:59):
Hey, u ok with I email I sent you? Maybe I am making it up but I detected a little upset when on the phone to you earlier? Xxx

Me (12:08):
You know me too well... :) I was still basking in your 'handsome' text, then got back to my desk to the shock of your new date, which knocked me for six. Then we spoke b4 I could recover... Even though we talk & I am happy, my jealousy kicks in & really wishes I could be all u want. But I'm dealing with it. I'm hurting but OK. xx

Mistress (12:12):
I'm sorry, it makes me feel like the worst person in the world! I must be to keep hurting you like this. I really don't know what to do here..... you are hurting too much and it's not right. It appears it doesn't matter how much we talk about it. Let's face the fact you can't hack it and live with the aftermath of ending this thing, whatever it brings . I refuse to be responsible for making you soooo unhappy coz I love you too much! Xx

Me (12:17):
Thanks Babes. I'm hurting, but I'm not exactly 'unhappy' because we have our love together. I'm happy to stick with it. But if you realy, really want to end it then I won't stop you, or cry, or hurt when you do! It's not bad that you think about ending it, but just think about ending it for now. No need to end it yet. We can stick with it. Love you. xx

Feathering the nest?

10:56am this morning I get this text from Mistress:-

Hey sexy, was looking at you this morning and the gym's working, you are looking good - I like a lot! You are my sexy , gorgeous man and I love you and I love our sex life! Wouldn't change it for a bit - it is different and exciting. I love it and you more xxxx

11:21am this morning I get this email from Mistress:-

Hi sweets

I'm going to London next Wed for an 8.30 am start so leaving fairly early so you will need to do morning school run.

Meeting a client for lunch meeting and the late afternoon meeting Dave so you will need to pick up kids. It is a Wed so similar to earlier this week so same stuff to be done in the evening as in no after school activities.

x x

Getting dirty during & after the date...

Conversation with Mistress

Mistress (17:13): (Wednesday – while away on Her date)
Hi you guys, how was school my sweeties? Hope you had a fab time. Look fwd to seeing you later xx love you xx

Me (17:37):
hello mummy. had a good day at school. love you. hope you have a good time. xxx

Mistress (19:21):
Hiya my sweeties, just got on 19:22 out of [Town] . So see you for kisses & bedtime XXXXXXX

Me (20:07):
Just got this text! U want us to pic u?

Mistress (20:14):
Thks no probs, in cab c u very soon my sweets xx

Me (10:23): (Next day in the morning)
Love you xx

Me (10:35):
let me know if you want to chat at lunch time. xx

Mistress (10:47):
love you too! I'll see how my day goes xx

Me (11:21):
Hey kid. Is Dave there? What's he saying today? :) xx

Mistress (11:29):
He wasn't here when I got here, but he has just come in from a meeting I think. However, I got a msg from him before I got here when in waitrose saying he was soo pissed he feel asleep in toilets and in the Resturant after, the boys had to come find him. He also commented saying, "what an afternoon , when can I see you again ?" that's all the communication so far xx

Me (11:31):
xx

Me (11:44):
as usual I talked shit about leaving you. I don't know how you cope with all this shit from me. you are too good. I love you and I will never leave you or give you up. I don't know why I say I will. I will never choose to stop worshipping you.

Me (11:45):
(no reply needed) x

Mistress (12:20):
Are you ok? Xx

Me (12:24):
not really. but I am managing to work at 70-80% capacity. I'd quite like a chat. xx

Me (12:45):
hi darling. that was not a very good 2 way chat. I wanted to share & agree a way forward... xx

Me (12:47):
that was not very fair, babes. a text saying "are you ok" and then half a phone call...

Mistress (12:48):
I know exactly what you want to agree! It is extremely difficult for me and I need to work out how I manage to do so. Everything I do is always for you and here I am changing things again for you. It's not fair, I don't think I deserve to be tested and treated this way. So I need to find a way to deal with it and move on with our lives exclusively for you, somehow!

Me (12:55):
"Everything I do is always for you and here I am again changing things for you" is not how it should be. Everyting you do should be for both of us. Ideally togther, but if nt, then in comon. You have a life too. And if you know exactly wht I want to agree, then you know more than I do! I am not trying to draw a line. I am trying to share my feelings. I am still happy to work together, WITH you to change my attitude FOR you (and thus for us). It's not so simple that you can close it in a text. I am sorry. xx

Me (13:00):
You are already 'blaming' me & getting cross with me. And we've not agreed a way forward. I thoughte were going to try and movforward together as friends and do the best thing for both of us. Not fall out before we've even agreed how to deal with it.

Me (13:01):
But one thing I am clear about is that I am not going to fight with you about this. I am going to be you strength, for us.

Me (13:02):
Please don't "deal with it" (= end it with Dave) until we are agreed together that it is, in balance, what we both want. xx

Me (13:18):
Looking a your text: I am not 'testing' you in any way. I don't need to test you. I know you for what you are and I absolutely love you for what you are. And if you really meant to say, as you did, that you are 'dealing with it' "exclusively" for me, then that is both sad, and, I believe, not true, beause you should be, and would be, doing it for both of us, together. Sorry we are not dealig wi this happily as I had hoped. I understand why though, and I still won't fight you. And I still want to agree a way forward together. Please don't try to spoil the love we have. xx

Mistress (13:23):
I don't want to fight nor do I want to spoil our love. I am finding this very hard tho and wondering why you want to shake us and mess what we have. Tell you something, when David first saw us, he said, we are so lucky to have each other and was in awe of the love and the bond we had. Why spoil it? Xx

Me (13:29):
I a so glad see that you don't want to figh or spoil. I don't want to shake us or mess anythig abot what we have. I am in awe of it too! Don't want to spoil the special love & bond we have. If my jealousy & suggestion we abandon cuckolding is doing so, then let's expore it together and not jump to a conclusion. I don't want to detract one bit from our love.

Me (13:34):
By the way, with your tolerance, indulgence & support, we can probably overcome my cuckold issues. I dont want to demand these from you, but we are where we are. xx

Mistress (13:35):
I really feel having got where I am now after so many many years of trying to get me here, undoing it would be ...... don't even have the words for it. We have created the person I am now, in fact the people we are now and I am loving who I am , the thingsI get to do and how it helps me love you even more. Although it is all diminished by the things I see it doing to you in contrast. Therefore, one of us is going to have to sacrifice their happiness and I will not allow it to be you becoz I believe I am the stronger of us both! It may take a while but I will get there in the end! You have proven unable to deal with me seeing someone else so you are too weak for is to decide it is you who has to give up your happiness. Like I said, I am stronger I think!

Me (13:44):
That is such a lovely message & shows why you deserve & have my love. But a few questions. Would stopping cuckolding really = "undoing" who you are? I don' think so. I don't want u to change 1 bit. Let's not sacrifice. Let's work together to continue what we have- what we both know we both enjoy: we both know I get HUGE +ves out of our cuck FemDom. Let's deal with my -ve issues +vely. The only Q is, have you got the strength to do that? If so, then let's work at it. xx

Me (13:53):
To be quite clear my issues are jealousy. I do not want you to change even one tiny bit.

Mistress (13:54):
Jealously is an ugly destructive beast!

Me (14:01):
Sure is. We did see it coming a few months ago though when you asked me if I REALLY wanted you to find someone to fuck every lunch time, and I said no, it would drive me nuts. We both chose to ignore that. Now we are dealing with it... xx

Me (14:05):
I think the jealousy would be less if you removed the once a month blow job rule, and once a year anal rule, and allowed yourself the freedom and me the dignity to enjoy more extravagant sex whenever you permitted it. But if you were getting this from DH then mine would get even less, not more, and I'd go nuts...

Mistress (14:05):
We sure are dealing with it! Shame eh! Instead of building our relationship, enjoying the pleasures & excitement .... and making our love even stronger, we are tearing it apart piece by piece, what took us many many loving years to put together!

Me (14:07):
For me, my love is not being torn apart. My love for you is 1000% stronger than ever.

Mistress (14:07):
I am happy to remove all those and allow you as much sexual freedom as you and I want. Consider them gone! It was you who wanted more sexual domination rules, which I was happy to give and equally as happy to get rid off

Me (14:09):
Good. Thank you my love. xx

Mistress (14:10):
Anything else you want? Xx
Mistress (14:11):
So stop asking me if you can do things to me..... just go ahead and do them like you did many years ago! In addition, if you want a blow job or fuck me in the arse just do it! Xx

Me (14:13):
There are no other things that I can think of. To me the biggest issue is/was accepting the loss of wild sex with the greatest sex machine god put on this earth....

Me (14:14):
But you did say you don’t want to do those things with me any more. What happened to that? xx

Mistress (14:14):
You are welcome to my blackberry! The password is lovemyhusband

Me (14:15):
You are mad! :)

Me (14:18):
If you give me that, you can't delete the history before I see it or I will go mad. You can clear it now, though, if you want, and I won't go mad, coz we had that understanding - though of course I will trust you more if you don't delete the history...xx

Mistress (14:19):
That was under a FD umbrella, me being controlling and assertive the only way I know how and I meant it! If you lead, I am sure we can still do those things! I'll do whatever makes you happy! Xx

Me (14:20):
Yes, but its not just about me, it's about you too; about us. x

Mistress (14:20):
I am not going to delete any history and wasn't even planning to do so! I have nothing to hide and never have!

Me (14:21):
I know. That's why I trust you. xx

Me (14:34):
Did I say, I love you? I do. xx

Fun date

They’re on their date now – they took a train together at 2pm to a neighbouring town where they can flirt in the pub without fear of being seen.

Mistress wore a wonderful outfit – tiny little skirt, high heals and vest. He will be delighted!

Last night I was feeling terribly jealous in anticipation, but we talked about it and as usual Mistress calmed me down.

After all my ranting and raving She simply said: “What is the point, when we are doing this because its meant to be fun? If its not fun then let’s not do it.”

That made sense, and I remembered it is meant to be fun, and gave Her my blessings to go. I fear I somewhat detracted from the anticipation and pleasure by then…

She said that tonight, before She tells me anything about the date, She will cane me to punish me for forgetting it is supposed to be fun! I can’t complain really….

Cuckold conflicts

I am driven to near obsession at the thought that I share Her with others. I don’t want to share Her – I want Her for myself.

But when I’m not sharing Her, I want to share Her.

We discussed it this morning. She says She hates the confusion – I can understand that.

She says I no longer deliver & cannot deliver the sexual gratification and excitement that She wants from a man.

Last night while we lay on the sofa I got a big hard on. I was thinking about how I might ‘do’ things to Her like strip Her, finger Her a fuck Her – things She wants to do with other men.

I showed Her my hard on and told Her I was thinking of all the things I might do to Her. She laughed and told me I would not do them, and that I should just wank it off and go to sleep. I wanked while She watched while I said ‘I don’t want to wank it off! I want you!’ But She laughed at me and I wanked, I came, and we slept.

But this morning it troubled me.

When She approaches sex with Dave She will do so from the perspective that She expects him to have alpha male sex with Her. She will strip for him, dress for him and fuck with him on that basis. If She did those things for me, then would I not also gladly enjoy alpha male sex with Her?

Granted, this was all my idea in the first place. But…

But what?

I don’t know!

She says I should be honest with myself.

Well, being honest: I don’t want to share Her. I want to be the only man with sexual access to my Goddess.

But when I am, I will want to share Her.

And what about Her being honest:-

I will never fuck Dave, She said about a month ago – She now can’t wait.

I will never fuck Chris, She said a bout a month before She fucked him.

I will never allow another man to take me away from my kids – not for any amount of time, ever, She said. Tomorrow She is going away with Dave for the evening and I am putting the kids to bed on my own.

Conflicts. Be careful what you wish for.

I’ve not decided what to do yet. But I do know one thing: I do not want to share Her. I want Her for myself. I may also want other things – but we can’t have all we want.

Date, date, date!

They went for lunch on Her last day at work before half term, and coffee today, Her first day back – and this after spending the whole week off having Blackberry Sex.

On Wednesday they are taking the afternoon off to spend the time together. Mistress has chosen the short skirt She is going to wear. She told me She want him to be able to access Her pussy when he rubs Her leg… I think they are going to fuck on Wednesday – but they might not, because it’s not the best time of the month for Her… but it’s coming very soon. She admits it now, that She’s looking forward to it – based on his BBM sex talk, She’s hoping he’ll be a good fuck.

She’s worried – get this – that he won’t like Her pussy because it is shaven bald, and he has previously said he likes a small railtrack! Oh please! Of course he’ll like it!

On Sunday Mistress gave me 15 strokes for discipline, plus 10 more for asking her if She’d checked her Crackberry when She went to the ladies loo when we were out at the pub. At first She denied She had, but later She admitted She had, and said She would punish me for asking. I am to assume, She said, that they are always having Blackberry sex, and She is always checking Her messages from him – so there is no need for me to ask or guess – because they are.

Exclusivity

Yesterday Mistress said that She doesn’t want macho sex stuff from me – not words nor deeds. If She wants to talk dirty then She’ll do it with Dave, and when She wants dirty sex, She’ll have that with him too – so She doesn’t want that from me – She wants complete control over our sex life, and for me to do as I am told by Her – including never talking to Her about nor asking for macho sex.

I thanked Her for Her guidance in this matter.

Later I asked Her: What if I decided that actually I’d like sexual exclusivity with Her – to be the only sexual provider in Her life.

She replied that if that was what I decided then She would respect my decision, because She is happily married to me.

Later still I suggested to Her that if She wanted and had ‘complete control’ in our relationship, then surely, it should actually be down to Her if I got exclusivity or not. She agreed with this, and said I could forget it.

But deep down, we both know that if I pulled the plug on it She wouldn’t see anyone else (not that She’d admit to me anyway!)

So why don’t I?

For years I’ve never been jealous of Her with other men – the one thing that changed it was Her telling me what great sex She had with David. So now She’s enjoying it I should pull the plug? Hardly seems fair. But life’s not fair.

Anyway, I won’t pull the plug. But it hurts like fuck some times.

Too busy

She's 'too busy' to text me when She's at work.

I wonder how many messages She's exchanged with Dave this afternoon...

"Interesting" lunch

Mistress told me this morning that one of Dave's messages to Her said:-

"I am sitting behind you, holding your legs wide appart. I push my finger deep into you, and feel how wet you are".

She was wondering how he'd behave towards Her at lunch - the first private appointment they've had since the explicit BBM sex.

Half Term

Mistress was off for half term – we’ve had a great time together and with the kids.

On the last day of the previous week that they were both in the office they went for lunch together ‘because they wouldn’t see each other over the week She was off’.

Today is Her first day back, and they’ve gone for lunch together to celebrate Her return.

Last night Mistress gave me the disciplinary caning She was not able to give me on Sunday because we were out, and then made me wank into the cup in front of Her while repeating that “I am the village idiot”. I then drank my cum and joined her in bed.

More text....

(Me): I read this passage over the weekend. Made me fear what life with you would be like if you were like this:-

Miss Strang then fetched a book from the shelf.

"Place your hands closer together, John. No, keep the palms face upward, please, as I asked you to do."

She then placed the book across John's outstretched palms. It covered them completely. I felt a little flutter of breathlessness as she did this. It seemed an odd thing to do, and rather disturbing.

"John, you ought to be able to exercise self-control. I expect you to stay over the arm of the chair, without struggling and without resisting. I have placed the book on your hands as an encouragement to you to keep in position. If at any time you take your hands from under the book or disturb it in any way, then you will receive two extra strokes. Do you understand?"

Text

Me (14:42): God my cock is so hard. Xx

Mistress (14:48): Oh why, what u thinking abt? Xx

Me (14:50): Do you REALLY want to know my terrible, disgusting, humiliating thoughts? X

Mistress (15:49): yes xx

Me (16:07): I was having submissive thoughts I am ashamed of. Fantasising that you decided to use the cane more to train me to be the way you want, including, perhaps, punishing me for not dealing with your BBM very well, and training me to only ever talk about it by way of offering you your phone if I notice a message has come in. Perhaps training me to not mention Dave's name unless you do first. And always using the cane ruthlessly to enforce your will. I am ashamed to say my cock is hard again thinking about it. :-( I imagine you train me to the point where I proactively submit to you so much that I point out to you that I was unable to offer myself for strokes last Sunday and offer myself the next day, because if I don't offer myself then you will punish me for not doing so. Like I said, I am ashamed of my submissive fantasies. Love you. xx

Mistress (16:10): No need to be ashamed. I like your thoughts. In fact thought similar ones re Sunday caning and abt Dave & BBM xx

Jealousy

We had a great bank holiday weekend.

Mistress was often on Her Crackberry exchanging messages with Dave.

At one point I said to Her, carefully and without angering Her, that I was jealous. That any time She spent on him was time not spent on me. I explained that just because I didn’t complain when She did it, I didn’t Her to be under any illusion that it caused me great jealousy and humiliation.

She accepted that She did feel guilty when doing it, too. But She still did it.

This morning, when She was out at the gym, I got a texted kiss from Her at 11:29.

I read it and thought Dave must be exchanging messages with Her, so She’s decided to make me happy by texting me too. So I texted back a big smile and some kisses.

That is jealousy. She texts me, and instead of me being grateful and happy She has chosen to do it, I conclude that She only did it to assuage Her feeling of guilt at Her ongoing conversation with him.

She called on Her way home for lunch and I started food preparations. I took the rubbish out to the bin, and found Her sat in Her car in the garage on Her Crackberry – obviously messaging him….

When She came in I asked why She’d felt the need to sit in Her car and do it – why not come in, sit down and do it?

She said that it was because She had started the message at the club, and was only finishing it off. Hmmm. I don’t get that, but there we go.

She put Her Crackberry down and then fought with Herself not to look at it again in front of me (my jealousy speaking again!). Eventually I took it to Her and told Her to feel free to check it whenever She wanted.

She grunted and did so.

Then She went up to shower, and left Her BB in Her handbag. I saw the light flashing – new message in, and took it upstairs and put it next to Her tea…..