Double David Day

Friday morning Mistress kindly wanks me in bed – until I cum!

I lay there and thanked Her throughout the process – “Ahhhgn! That feels sooo good! Thank You. Gooood, that feels good!” What a wimpy arse I am. Why didn’t I just shut up? Anyway, She was good enough to keep going until I came!

Friday evening Mistress came home and sat on the bathroom stool to chat to me while I soaked in the bath.

She rarely does this. In fact, as a rule, She only does it when She’s got a “David confession” to make…

So she chats lightly for a little while, then the truths begin to emerge.

She went for a posh lunch out with this guy in Her office that wants to screw Her – a married guy called David (Let’s call him ‘Dave’ and Her established boyfriend ‘David’ – then we’ll know who we’re talking about). She wants to screw him too. They went to Her favourite restaurant. He paid. 12:30 to 3:15. That’s quite a lunch.

I smile and listen and chat to Her – suppressing any jealousy while She tells me about lunch. The way She tells it, they did no flirting at all – they just talked about work.

Yeah. If course. From 12:30 to 3:15 and all they talked about was work and not shagging each other.

It gets more interesting. When She got back to the office, She decided to text Her other David to see if She can provoke a response out of him.

David recently moved in to live with his girlfriend, and moved a few miles out of town – so he is not around as much, and neither does he have a bachelor pad to take Her back to – so they are not seeing as much of each other.

Interesting that a working lunch with Dave makes Her want to screw David…

I chuckle and listen and hide any jealous worries.

David never replied. He often doesn’t – but he could be abroad on holiday or anything for all She knows.

She claims She’s had enough of David. Because he didn’t reply! But She texted him! I don’t understand it.

Anyway. That was Friday. Today is Saturday and we’re going to watch a movie. ‘It’s Complicated’. A chick flick. Then we’ll got for drinks at the bar She usually meets David at. Let’s hope he’s not there and She doesn’t send me home alone….

Alpha Male

I am obsessed by blowjobs. How come She jumps on David’s cock and sucks it as much as She can? Why does She not choose to suck my cock? Why, in fact, does She refuse to suck my cock?

I could ask the same thing of anal sex, but of course I know my cock is huge, and would hurt more than his – but She has chosen to take mine many times.

Over years I drifted away from these activities, out of respect for Her. Now She gets them elsewhere and I am obsessed by it.

But when She told me to take them freely, I didn’t. I couldn’t. I felt too disrespectful.

But I want to… But I can’t.

Jeez.

New Rules

Yesterday Mistress presented me with these new rules. I am to signa and return them to Her today, and then live by them.

LOVING MISTRESS' FEMALE DOMINATION CONTRACT

RULES

• You will say “yes sweetie” every time I ask you do something, in private or in public.

• You must say “excuse me mistress” in private, before you disagree with me about anything and always ask permission to air your view.

• If we are in public and you wish to disagree with anything, you MUST start by saying....”with due respect”..............and you MUST remain polite and respectful the entire time!

• You will NOT be rude or patronising to me under ANY circumstances, in private or public.

• You will not raise your voice at me or get angry and cross with me under any circumstances. You will calmly let me know what exactly you are unhappy about.

• You will immediately let me know anything I have done that you are unhappy with; anything that leads me to think you have been harbouring issues will lead to punishment.

• If I am unhappy with you in public I will use the word “silly” and that means that I am unhappy and you are out of line & you will be punished.

• If you want to know where I am or what I am doing ask respectfully!

• If I have to make my tea / breakfast on any morning = punishment, unless you have cleared it with me in advance & I think it is a valid reason.

• If I say to you “this is the last time I am asking you to get up & go make tea”, means that if I tell you one more time to get up and make tea, you will be punished.

• You can initiate sex if you wish, but always ask permission to do so.

• You will not make any alpha male sexual references like screwing me in the arse etc. You will only screw me in the arse once a year, on your birthday, if I think you deserve it! – That is, if you have earned less than an average of 1.5 punishments per month. You will have the punishment record so we can check. The rest of the time, the only interaction between you and my arse is when you lick it.

• You will get a blow job once a month if I feel you have earned it the month before - that is, no more than 1 punishment the month before.

• You will do chores at home when you are around...like doing the laundry and unloading the dishwasher. It should not interfere with your work...you do it when you take a break from working. If you are unable to do it, you must let me know before I find it not done and have to do it myself.

• Any time you displease me and I say to you “I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT....” I want a WRITTEN APOLOGY WITHIN 24 HOURS, or you will be punished.

• You will always ensure your breath is fresh at ALL times – punishable offence if not.

• You will keep your pubes and face freshly shaved all the time.

• You will NOT play golf MID WEEK UNTIL you start making decent money and UNTIL I say it is ok to do so.

• You will ask permission and check with me first before you arrange any golf games.

• You will not show any signs if DESTRUCTIVE jealously if and when I choose to cuckold you.

• You will NOT compare yourself to any other person (if any) that I chose to fuck!

• In dealing with the issue that I am (if that is the case) screwing someone else, you will never refer to the kind of sex we used to have. That time is gone and we are new people enjoying a different life together – we have moved on – live with it happily!

• You will NOT be entitled to know what I do sexually with anyone else, unless I choose to tell you.

• You will do or not do anything else that you think is fitting of a submissive husband to please / serve his wife.

PUNISHMENT
• This will be in the form of strokes or any other form that I chose, for example, denial of sex.

• You will keep a record if all the punishments owed. There will be extra punishment for any omissions.

• You will present yourself for punishment (and let me know you are doing so) on the day the punishment is earned or the next appropriate day, immediately after we put the kids to bed.

• You will not make noises loud enough to wake the children – if loud; I will double the amount at the time of giving the said punishment.

• You will NOT try to talk or argue yourself out of punishment.

DISCIPLINE

• 15 strokes.

• They will be given once a week on a Sunday night – when we go to bed. They are therefore, not to be given at the same time as any punishment.

Signed: .............................................

[Sub Hubby]
25 Jan 2010

Upon discussion She clarrified that the 'alpha male' sexual references I am not allowed to make include any and all alpha male type stuff - specifically this means I am not allowed to talk about Her giving me a blowjob, but generally it means I am not to make any alpha male sexual referrences.

Kinky!

Kinky Blogga, since you ask so nicely, here's one of us just before She went down on my in the post you commented on.

Sorry I've had to edit it, but you know...

More humiliation

A couple of days ago we had a huge row - over money! – we don’t often argue about money.

Mistress wanted to buy Herself a new coat. I suggested that that might not be a priority right now, and she told me it was my fault we don’t have enough (I’m in the process of starting a new business, and not earning any income from it yet).

I hit back, saying that actually it was Her fault, because we live in this huge expensive house that She chose to buy.

She said that if I felt like that I should not have bought it… but that I had done so ‘because she was my Queen and so I did it for my Queen’ in a very mimicky voice – which is true – I agreed to buy it for Her, not because I wanted it.

I resented the way She accused me of being a stupid submissive and agreeing to buy the house for Her. This took me immediately back to the “reluctant FemDom, enthusiastic fucker” that I think She is – She has never been as keen to advance FemDom as She is to advance her extra marital sex…

So I was mega pissed off and sulked for about 48 hours. I resolved to never submit to Her again. Never eat Her pussy. Never lick Her arse. Never!

Then last night in bed She asked me to play with Her pussy, which I did. While I played She did Her trick of asking me what I was thinking and of course I told Her – that I was thinking how badly She had treated me and how cross I was, and that I would never eat Her pussy again, but here I was, just about to go down on it even though She never went down on me. In due course we were fucking and I quickly came. She told me to go down and eat Her clean and to orgasm which I did.

The humiliation is too much. She treats me like shit, never sucks my cock and then has me go down on Her. And I do it. Why am I so week for Her?

This morning, just to confirm my submission I offered to eat Her arse before we got out of bed – She gladly agreed and I penetrated Her lovingly with my tongue before going to make tea.

Who are you?

About 700 people visited this blog over the weekend. If you click on the map at the bottom of the page, and then scroll down to the bottom of that page, you can see where in the world the last 100 or so visitors came from.

I find it fascinating. Most of you come from the USA. But there's plenty more from all over the world. There are some closer to me, in the UK.

Who are you all? Men? Women? Why are you here? Do you live FemDom lives? Do you know what Femdom is? Do you visit me regularly? Or is this a one off?

Please feel free top leave a comment so we can understand a bit more about who we all are that pass through this place - and please fill in today's survey.

See you again soon!

Oral Sex

On Sunday morning I woke up horny (nothing unusual about that!) and tinkered with my cock a bit in bed.

I asked Mistress if She minded me playing with it a bit, and She said it was fine to go ahead so I rubbed and dreamed.

While I tinkered I was imagining how good it would feel if She rolled over towards me in the bed and either took over playing with it, or, even better, took it into Her mouth – yowser! That would be good.

But She didn’t.

I told Her I that these were my thoughts, and She said ‘in your dreams – I’m not giving you a blowjob’, and that was that.

She told me to make myself cum because She wasn’t going to.

I explained to Her that this was so humiliating – I eat Her whenever She wants, many times this year already, but She never eats me. She agreed, and said that’s how it should be, and grinned while I gently wanked.

I really didn’t want to cum under such humiliating conditions, but I was so horny I had do, throwing my spoof onto my chest and having to clean it up with no interaction from Her.

By Sunday night I was still feeling relieved from having cum, but I decided to make my cock hard before She got into bed, because I know that when She feels my hard on She can get horny – especially at night.

Sure enough She did, and told me to go down on Her. I commented again at the injustice and humiliation of constantly going down on Her even though She does not go down on me.

But I did it, eating Her to glorious orgasm, before She let me put it in Her and cum again.

I am privileged, lucky and grateful to have sex with Her at all – but it is humiliating, especially when She always blows anyone else She is in bed with.

This picture with this blog was taken a few years ago, when She used to give me blow jobs just about every time we had sex…

Sex

Last night in bed Mistress told me to play with Her pussy. I deliberately use the word ‘told’. She did not ask me if I want to, nor suggest that I do. ‘Play with my pussy!’ She said, and I did. Gladly.

It lead to great sex. Not sexual athleticism a-la-David, but great sex non the less.

I loved that She initiated it. I basked in the pleasure that She wanted it.

As we screwed I expected Her to ask what I was thinking – She usually does this. But this time She did not. I resisted the urge to tell Her what I was thinking anyway, as I did not want to impose on Her.

She pulled out Her butterfly and used that on Her clit while I was deep in Her. I love it when She has the self assurance to pull that out while we fuck – it indicates that She is comfortable with where She is.

Crossed Wires

Things are good, but not perfect. I am confused. I’ll tell you why.

Do I want to, or does She want me to?

Yesterday morning I offered to lick Mistress’ arse before getting out of bed to make Her tea. I used to ask if She’ like me to lick Her arse or pussy, but 99% of the time She chooses arse, so I just offered that, and She immediately said yes, She would like me to.

A few seconds later, when I had not gone down on Her yet, She said ‘If you want to lick my arse then you better do it now, because it’s time to get up’.

I’m afraid I didn’t take this lying down (no pun intended). I replied that I didn’t want to lick Her arse, but would be pleased to do so only if She wanted me to. She confirmed She did, and so I did.

So why did She say ‘if I want to do it’? Did She or did She not want me to do it? I don’t get it. She says She did… Maybe I’m over analysing the situation…

The offer

This year I have offered to lick Her arse more often again – She always says yes, so I figure She likes it. It is obviously a submissive and loving thing to do for/to Her, and I want to submit and show my love to Her, so I offer Her this pleasure.

But I’m tempted not to offer it again – if She thinks She’s doing me a favour ‘allowing’ me to do it then I don’t want to do it.

Why does She allow this confusion into my/our lives?

Wanking

Yesterday I had a wank. I don’t often do this, as I like to leave my orgasm for Her choosing. But since I don’t understand what She wants, and I new what I wanted (– a good wank!) I did it, and had a HUGE orgasm – it was great!

FemDom

Mistress has not mentioned the re-introduction of FemDom (as defined in my earlier blogpost). I’m not going to bring it up – because I’m happy as we are, and I don’t want to push the issue – if She wants it then I want it, but if She does not want it then I’m not taking us there.

When She wants something (eg to shag David!) then She is not backward about coming forward – so either She does not want this, or She has some thoughts going on that I’m not aware of – and I’m not going to ask.

So we are happy, but I’m a little confused. I’m not letting it trouble me. I have resolved to accept Her love with respect and return it fully, basking in it and not imaging problems where She does not tell me there is a problem…

Second Thoughts

I found this story on Literotica.

It is incredible - it mirrors our circumstances and inner thoughts so closely.

I spoke to Mistress about it and we both agreed that the author must have lived through this experience - there are just too many truths in here.

The only difference is that I am a big black cuckold with an enourmous cock - and She is actually loving it with a smaller, white guy who uses his cock better!

Have a read, and think about it before you lead your Wife down this route!

Comfortable Stand Off

Things are in a comfortable stand off at the moment, and have been so through the Christmas and New Year period.

I spoke to Mistress about my view – that I was not comfortable living the cuckold lifestyle outside of a FemDom relationship. She responded that She felt we were living a FemDom relationship, in a FemDom style of Her choosing.

I accepted that I was living in a submissive relationship to Her, but not in a FemDom relationship – and on questioning defined a FemDom relationship as having the following 4 elements, all of which have once been present in our relationship, but none of which are currently present in our relationship having all been removed at Her instigation:-

1) Rules that the submissive must live by.

2) Punishment for breaking the rules.

3) Discipline to affirm the submissive relationship, and

4) A clear hierarchy of Dominant and submissive.

I explained that I was very happy that She had chosen to lead our lifestyle away from those elements, and that I was not complaining about that nor asking for them back, but I was just uncomfortable with Her removing all those elements, and only retaining the cuckolding element, with which it was all gain for Her, with nothing in it for me.

We discussed this and She accepted it all.

But after a day or too She brooded over it and became upset with it – arguing I’d moved the goalposts on our 15 year relationship, throughout which I’d encouraged Her to go with other guys which I was now going back on just as She was getting comfortable with it and enjoying it for the first time.

We debated this – pleasantly and rather vociferously at times.

She concluded that Her preferred lifestyle was a proper cuckold FemDom relationship with all 4 elements that She would re-introduce.

As you can imagine, I’m obviously thinking that the only reason She wants to do that is to ‘buy’ Her freedom to cuckold….. So it’s a tricky balance.

Anyway, She’s worked this out, and so far has not made any moves wither way. We’re getting on fine without clarifying things further for now, so we’ll settle someplace some day soon, for a while…

This weekend I woke up with a hard on and starting gently wanking as I cuddled Her. I whispered to Her that I would like to cum, and asked if She was happy for me to cum. She turned and cupped my balls in Her hand, saying I could cum if I wanted to.

I wanked gently.

I said to Her that I’d actually prefer to cum under Her hand, or in Her mouth, or over Her tits, but only if She wanted me to – and I’d be happy to just wank otherwise. But, I explained, the ‘just wanking’ was very humiliating to me.
She chose the humiliating route, and told me to go ahead and wank – so I did.

Next day (yesterday) as we got into bed, She told me to go down on Her, which I did, eating Her to orgasm.

So She gets to enjoy oral sex whenever She wants, including me eating Her arse, and I get the humiliation of wanking myself….

After She came She invited me to screw Her which I did – I gently spooned into Her from behind and had a great fuck. But the whole experience was very humiliating.

But I think we’re both happy in this uneasy truce.

I have resolved to do my utmost to just be happy, enjoy life, and support whatever decision She makes in a genuinely happy way- provided I can actually do that.

More action?!

So last night Mistress went off for Her final office party. I was in a pretty bad mood as She got ready to go, because She was talking about another David (this one’s called Dave) that has been hitting on Her and that She’s clearly interested in. Watching Her get all dressed up to go out and perhaps end the night screwing him got me a bit wound up.

I went out for some beers with some buddies of mine, and we both got back home at the same time – about 1am.

I was relieved to see Her home – at least She was not off shagging Dave or Chris (the guy from last week).

She tells me though that Dave was hitting on Her hard, and that She agreed to screw him, but at another place and time… He was emailing and hitting on Her from his Blackberry after the party – hoping they could go off together and have their wicked way.

Today She’s all excited about every contact She’s having with him – She’s clearly turned on at the thought of fucking him.

I’m finding it a bit weary – now that we’re not living such a FemDom life - and that was the justification for Her screwing David in the first place – I’m not too keen on the idea of Her screwing around. If I’m not Her submissive then why would I be happy for Her to have other guys?

I can’t decide whether to talk to Her about it or not. The fact of the matter is I don’t fuck Her as well as David did (or does? I don’t know), so She wants to find it elsewhere – is it fair for me to stop Her? Probably not…I should let Her just get on with it and enjoy Her sexual vitality as much as She can – but I’m kind of feeling that 2010 should be the year of rededication to each other…

Someone else…

Mistress didn’t hear from David Friday, even though he had said he’d be in touch. The man has no manners, just great cock action (apparently).

Anyway, Mistress decided instead to have one of the young men from work – some guy 10 years younger than her that has been pining after Her. She brought him home (here!) at 4 am and shagged him in the family room for 2 hours!

When he left She came up to bed and said he was the lousiest shag she’d ever had – small cock that never got hard and he didn’t cum… Longest lousy fuck I’ve ever heard of!

But she says She is ‘mortified’ that She did it. She did have a hangover for 2 days, so She might not have been all there when She did….

She says She’s cured of other men and doesn’t want any side action again! Interesting claim, because today is another office party night and they will both be there together –interesting to see if he dares to hit on Her again.

Apparently as he left last time She told him that if he’s going to screw Her again then he’ll need to grow a bigger cock that get’s harder! Ouch! I don’t think he’ll try again, but we shall see!

Meantime life is great and we are happy. We screw so much I can't even get hard when I'm not in bed with Her these days...

Waiting game.

I hate this waiting game. She's out having fun. I've not heard from Her in 3 hours. Experience tells me that means She's talking to him (on text). Will She meet him or will She not? Has She met him or has She not? Or will She come back to me?

I don't like it - I'd actually be happier if She never saw him again. But I know She likes meeting him so I won't ask Her not to.

But I don't like it.

So many changes!

Mistress texted David a few days ago. After some discussion She settled on ‘Fancy a Shag? X’.

He replied…saying he did but it would be difficult as he’s moved to a new neighbourhood and is now living with his girlfriend! So getting away would be tricky, and of course he’s not got his own place any more!

Well, Mistress was surprised. But She suggested to him they meet up this Friday (today) after Her office party, and that he come back here – to which he replied ‘OK. X’.

So She asked me to put a lock on the spare bedroom door, so the kids can’t burst in on them shagging, which I’ve done. So now it just remains to be seen whether they hook up or not. Based on his past record it won’t be until 11pm at least until he raises his head above the parpet, but which time anything could happen…

She was definitely ‘on edge’ this morning – getting dressed to go out knowing She might be meeting him. We shall see.

Golf

I just got off the golf course with my buddy. We were talking and anal sex came up (as it does when guys talk!). He reckons women don’t like anal sex. Certainly my missus doesn’t seem to like it with me much, but She’s never shagged David and NOT taken it up the arse. So if they meet up today, She’ll want it in the arse.

If they don’t meet up today, then I’m going to try for some arse myself and see if I can get it tonite!

Great weekend

We had a great weekend. A good time with the family, then us two went out Saturday night for a movie ('Law Abiding Citizen') which we enjoyed, and then we went out partying and dancing until the wee hours of the morning. Came back and shagged, Slept and shagged. Talked and loved, and then had a great evening with the kids again.

Life is good :)

A little clearer

I'm feeling a little better after unloading my emotions to you all yesterday - it helped me think it through. I'm not 100%, but I am happier.

For years I did not give Mistress the sex I used to. And I encouraged Her to find another lover. When She found one She liked and did the things we used to do it drove me insane with jealousy - I want to be the only one doing those things with Her.

But I don't. I can't. So why fight it - why not accept how lucky I am to have such a loving, beautiful Wife. And why not be glad that She has also managed to find someone who can give Her the good fucking that She needs on ocassion?

Rejoice and celebrate - don't lament what might have been. It has not!

Orgasms

While we talked that night, She told me that She never has an Orgasm with David. Only with me. She said that David knows this, and this upsets him. That’s why he does not approach Her as often as he might – because it hurts him that She only cums for me.

But She gets so wet fucking him that She squirts. She’s never done that for me.

I’m not sure I believe Her.

I’m not sure it matters whether I believe Her or not. The think about being a cuckold is you don’t KNOW what goes on. You just live with it.

Should I feel better that She said this? At the very least it proves Her heart is in the right place.

What I try to do is this: To not show my uncertainty to Her, and to not ask anything of Her other than Her happiness. That’s what I go for.

Injustice and Acceptance

The day after we had the discussion below Mistress gave me a blowjob in the morning. I had placed Her hand on my cock while in bed that morning – so I kind of initiated things.

I didn’t complain – I wanted it! But I did feel odd as She did it. Was She doing it because I ‘complained’ I was not getting enough? Did She do it to bolster my confidence? Or did She doing it because She wanted to? Could I ever know the answer to that question?

I conclude, even though I do not want to, that it is unsatisfactory me asking for or initiating sex that is for my benefit.

But She tells me She wants me to.

But She also tells me She would not be comfortable going to back to the place we once lived where I did that…

On my last birthday, as a birthday present She gave me anal sex – just to prove that She could give Her arse to me, and not only to David. I LOVED it! Because She chose and gave me the present – I didn’t ask or demand it – so I loved it as a gift from Her.

This cuckold stuff puts one in a very awkward place.

I feel that I would prefer to live a life of accepting that She shags David when She wants a real shag, and shags me when She wants to. Then I’d know where I stood.

Frustrated

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"What I want..."

This morning as Mistress came out the shower She said She had been thinking about what She wants in our FemDom relationship.

On Saturday night we went out for an office end of year party, and about 2.30am when the bar was shut and She’d had plenty to drink, She suggested we all adjourn to the local Casino – the only place still selling booze at that time of night.

She tells me that I said She’d had enough, and rather abruptly ruled it out (I don’t recall this, but She could well be right), and this was unacceptable to Her. I should never claim to be in charge on any matter, and should always defer to Her decision – I could plead my case, but must defer to Her decision.

I think that’s the end of the matter – She did not tell me She was going to enforce this point with the cane, so I don’t think I will be punished for my behaviour.

Did She consider punishing me for it to drive Her point home?

Do I want Her to punish me for it? Yes. I think that She should educate me on Her feelings on the matter by caning my arse until it bleeds and I cry real tears, so I never forget the lesson to defer to Her.

I’d love to share this sentiment with Her, but that could be seen as topping from the bottom and I am resolved NOT to do that.

So I shall simply try to learn from what She said, so that the punishment is not necessary anyway.

Arse Licker

It is some time since I offered to lick Mistress’ Arse in the morning – in fact last time I did, She asked me to. But today I offered – Arse or Pussy as usual, and She chose Arse, as usual, and so down I went.

I gave Her a real treat, smooth all the way, penetrating Her gently but firmly with my tongue. When She called me up, She told me to put it in Her, and I gladly did.

As I fucked Her I could not help but feel so pathetic – all I can do is lick Her arse and then spoon fuck Her from behind, whereas David fucks Her for 3 hours in every position and distortion known to man – no wonder She loves fucking him.

I came a huge orgasm thinking that She must be thinking how much more exciting a good fuck from David is…

All Change

I sent Mistress this text today. Speaks for itself.

Hi Sexy. You said you were going to cane me for not making you tea the other day. I would obviously prefer that you don't cane me - because it hurts. But if you ever feel that you do want to cane me - for punishment, discipline or just because it makes your pussy wet, then I would be happiest & prefer it if you do exactly and only as you wish. When it comes to defining our FemDom relationship I submit to you 2000% to make me the type of submissive you choose. xx

Punishment

Mistress tells me She wants me to more outgoing – particularly in the bedroom, pushing more for what I want.

I get the feeling She’s decided She likes that, having tasted it with David, and does not want to live with my submissive side.

So I try it – I give Her a good fucking – while riding Her from behind I get to see the tattoo on Her arse, which I have never seen while fucking Her – in the years She has had it I have not fucked Her doggy style once before!

I like it. She likes it. We try for more. I still find it tricky, pushing for what I want, but damn, it has its rewards and so I try.

Then She asks for tea one morning when I’m asleep. A few beers the night before and I don’t really want to get out of bed yet, so I don’t.

Now She wants to cane me 20 strokes for not making Her tea. She says She’s fine with me being more forward sexually, but when She tells me to make tea I should make tea.

She seems pretty determined to cane me for it.

I’m not so sure I want that. This equality thing has some advantages too.

Making up...

I suggested to Mistress that if She wants to see David again this side of Christmas, then She should apologise to him for leaving his place in a strop – after all, She took Her girlfriend there at 5am, pissed, and She knows the guy has a 3some fantasy – what did She expect but for him to ask? Honestly!

So, at my urging, She’s texted him today to say sorry, She got a little jealous. She said the guy would never reply, but e did. Immediately & happily. So they are now making up.

Why did I encourage it? Suggest it, initiate it, even? I want an exclusive relationship with Her where all She thinks of is me. But in reality, I KNOW She loves fucking him and is never going to forget that – so why not let Her – it makes Her happy and costs me very little.

And maybe one day, maybe, they will both accept me as their submissive. Though that is so unlikely I should forget the idea…

“I LOVE fucking that guy”

As I fucked Mistress on Saturday morning, as soon as She got into bed back from David’s, She said ‘I LOVE fucking that guy’. Her eyes were closed as She pushed back onto my cock, and repeated Herself, ‘I LOVE fucking that guy!’

Clearly Her mind was not on me while I did my thing – that guy fucks Her good.

She was drunk, and embarrassed when I told Her about it later, but at least She did not deny it, and confirmed that She does love fucking him.

Lover's tiff!

Mistress and David had their first lover's tiff on Saturday - over the 3some with Amanda that he wanted and She didn't want! I find that quite funny - until now their relationship has been artificially perfect - they get dressed up, meet, party, drink fuck and sleep - so for once a little touch of reality crept in...

It'll be interesting to see how it develops moving forward.

He told he her loves her again. But as I said to her - of course he does - their life together is artifially unreal - just good times. Let's see how he copes with his love now...

Because Mistress came home without having had the usual 3 hour of sex with him She was quite horny and I got to cum 3 times yesterday. Means I can't even get it up today - though of course I want to!

Meeting up again

Last night Mistress went out with her friend Amanda.

They hooked up with David and partied the night away, finishing up at his place at about 5 am.

He wanted them both together, but Mistress didn't want this - so She ended up coming back to me - though she did 'let him put it in' at one stage...

Oral sex

Last night Mistress told me to go down on Her in bed, which I gladly did.

As She came She pulled my head hard into Her groin to hold me there (I love it when She comes as I eat Her).

She didn't suck my cock. I can't remember when She last sucked my cock - it's just not about that any more.

She sucks David's cock every time She meets him...

More chat...

Me (12:50):
I was very happy giving You a blow job to orgasm last night, and licking Your arse this morning, and getting nothing in return - because You chose not to give me anything. I love it when we do what You want. Xx

Me (13:00):
I wish You felt comfortable sharing intimate sexual things with me - for example saying (1) I would love to just spend a night out with David and go back to his place for a good fuck, or (2) I played with his cock and sucked it for hours - I love sucking his cock, it was great, or (3) Go and buy me 3 fruits to take to David to use in my cunt, or (4) I want to spend the whole night with David and wake up in his arms, so I've invited him to spend the night in London the day of my next course. We talked about it and agreed we don't want you there. Etc Whatever You want really... ;-) xx

Me (13:11):
It was extremely humiliating & degrading to wank myself in bed while you lay next to me and did nothing. Especially wiping my cum afterwards. But I am grateful You let me do it, let me hold Your tits while I wanked, and chose to humiliate me in this way. xx

Me (13:24):
I feel very selfish telling You what 'I want'. Sorry. I guess it's been too easy to be selfish because I'm packaging it as 'I want what You want'.

Mistress (13:40):
Nothing to b sorry abt. Get back to work now! X x

Me (13:41):
Thank You Mistress. Dish washer is not working at all well. Maybe You should sow Your slave how to maintain it so You don't need to worry about it again. Xx

Mistress (13:45):
Ok x x

Texts with Mistress

Conversation with Mistress
Me (09:52):

Hi Sexy. I really love You and just want to make You happy. Xx

Mistress (10:13):
I love you too and you do make me happy & I want to make u happy too! X x

Mistress (10:24):
So, are u genuinely happy for me to txt David? I want the 100% truth & don't say " ur happy if that's what I want!" x x

(11:15 Mistress called me because I had not replied - I had an engineer at home. The engineer was gone, so I asked Her if I could tell Her how I feel, and She allowed me. I tried to explain to Her that my main desire was to be Her submissive. She listened, we chatted and She went back to work)

Me (11:27):
The 100% truth... Hmm. I'm not 100% sure what that is. I am very jealous & humiliated that you want to and actually do what You do with him. But I am also very humiliated that You choose not to touch or suck my cock (especially when You obviously do his). This humiliation is more personal to us and less to do with David (I would still feel it if he were not there). But what I want is to be Your submissive (actually Your sexual submissive, but I don't see how I get to decide that...) 100% Your submissive in any and all ways You want. History tells me that You are happier with this when You are seeing David. If You told me You WANT to text/see/be with David then I'd say 'great - do that'.

Me (11:31):
I sent You the long text anyway - very confusing. I don't want to be confusing - I want to make You happy, and that means You should send the text. We both KNOW thats what You want to do. When we pretend it is not, we do not accept my submission to You. Doing it shows that You do respect Your authority over me and my submission to You, by acting as You want. So, the answer to Your question is YES. I am happy with You sending it. I am happy for You to do it as an act of dominance over me - and because it makes You happy. Xx I Love You. Send it! Xx

Mistress (11:33):
Ok xx will send. We'll discuss more tonite x x

Me (11:34):
Thank You Mistress. I'd be very happy to discuss more tonight, only if You wish to. If not, I will be happy to live per Your wishes. XX. I hope he replies! Enjoy xx

Mistress (11:35):
Cool x x. I doubt he will reply xx

Me (11:36):
Of course he will! He's not daft! You! In a skirt! He'll reply! Xx :)

Mistress (11:37):
We both know he is a weirdo and he has been a little quiet since his big reveal so I honestly do not think he will reply! X x

Me (11:38):
I won't trivialise the Big Reveal! That was huge! But he's doe it before and come back - now he loves You more. He'll be back. I'm sure. Xx We'll see....

Mistress (11:39):
Ha!.... we'll see x x

Me (11:45):
Do you mind if I text You a few thoughts through the day? I don't expect a reply - I just find it easy to share a brief thought when I have it. Xx. Please just reply Y if you are happy for me to send thoughts, or N of you don't want me to - I won't get upset!!! Xx

Mistress (11:46):
Y x x

Me (11:55):
As You know, I would LOVE for You to touch my cock, let alone suck it. I have even asked you to cane me so that You feel able to touch me. Even though You know I would love You to touch me, You have chosen not to do so. I am so happy with this, because I know You are doing what You want, not what I want. I believe You have actually chosen not to touch my cock and therefore You are happy not touching it. Therefore I am happy – even though I WANT You to touch it. I am even happier now that You have said You will give me ‘payment’ strokes tonight.

Me (11:58):
I will be even happier if David asks You to meet him tonight and You chose to spend Your time showering, changing and going to see him rather than wasting 5 minutes of Your time caning me – because I will know You have done what You choose. Though of course I will also be happy if You chose to cane me, and then went to see him, and then came back and told me you’d discussed it with him and agreed not to touch me anyway. Because I’d know You were doing what You want. Xx

Me (12:11):
When You said You would go and see Karen in the morning on your way to work, the jealous child in me resented the fact that You would find time to do that, and apparently did not ‘care’ to find the time to cane me so that You could play with my cock. I dealt with this by accepting it as Your (unconscious) choice. Now, it is not Your job to make my life easier (on the contrary – You need not care about that!) But if You WANT to really make Your slave happy, then if You chose to find time to go and see Karen rather than cane me, then if you give me a kiss and a smile, and ask me if I’d rather You went to see Karen or gave me my canes, then I’d know You were domming me and I’d be as happy as is humanly possible. xx

Confusion

Yesterday put an interesting perspective on our relationship.

Mistress raised with me Her concern that I am too ‘heavy’; take things ‘too seriously’ and can’t just ‘have fun’.

Interesting She did this, because I had said exactly the same thing to Her 3 days ago, but I got shot down for doing it.

So I guess we are in agreement – we don’t have enough fun and happiness together – we squabble too much.

So we discussed it, and She came up with an amazing statement: I complain that She always disagrees with me, and always turns everything into a fight, yet She is supposed to be the dominant partner. If She is the dominant partner, always right, and I must agree with Her and do as She says, then how can I possibly ever argue with Her, because I should accept Her position as the right one.

Well. You could have knocked me down with a feather. You’d have needed an iron bar for my cock, mind you, because that became as rigid as flagstaff as I interpreted what She said.

We didn’t solve all our problems in one evening of talk, but we did agree that henceforth I would accept Her view as the correct an prevailing view. I would beg to differ if I felt it necessary, but we would not fight again, because I would accept Her word.

And so we went to bed.

My cock was as hard as a rock – it’s days since I came. She felt it up against Her and me tossing and turning, and told me to wank so that I could get to sleep. She lay facing away from me while I wanked myself without any involvement from Her – unless you call lying with Her back facing me involvement, which I guess I do.

What a turn.

Today is Monday – She does not work, and will be back from the gym in an hour or so. I suspect I am for a good few strokes of the cane, but I don’t know after yesterday. We shall see.

Power dynamics

Ever since I said to Mistress that I would accept, or perhaps more accurately, requested that She cane me, in exchange for sexual favours, a subtle change has come over our relationship.

She instructs me to do things – “Go and get the tea now.” She said in bed this morning, when I was rubbing my cock on Her wondering if She might touch it (She didn’t!). “Make toast for the kids.”

She is clearly very happy with the change. And my cock has been hard non stop – She knows I am dying for Her to touch it, and She has not done so. She is dominating by doing nothing!

I think She’s decided that I should be treated a bit more like a submissive cuck than She does treat me at present.

I’m sure She won’t cane me today, because the kids are in the house. She can have a much better session tomorrow (Monday) in the daytime when the kids are at school. I get the impression She is loving this. Hopefully I will love the sex, if and when I get it, as much.

Paying for sex

I lie in bed and play with my cock, or look at porn of chicks playing with big, hard, cocks, and get horny. Mistress sucked and played with my cock every day before our Femdom relationship bedded in. And since David, I want it more.

The thought of Her tiny fingers wrapped round my cock giving it pleasure, Her mouth and lips on my cock and She tugs at my balls, is driving me nuts.

She has already named the price – 5 strokes for a hand job, and 20 for a blow job. And I must ask early enough in the day for their to be plenty of time for Her to administer the strokes before we go up to bed.

I decided it’s worth the price, so this evening I said to Her that I would love to feel Her hand and Her lips on my cock. She chuckled and said She was sure I would. She said I know the price. I said I was not sure She was serious – but Oh yes, She said She was serious. Then I would like the strokes I said, because I want the sex.

Well, She said She can’t do it now, because I scream like a stuck pig and the kids would hear – so She is planning to lay it in thick…

But after my 25 strokes, later, when the pain has subsided, She will play with my cock and take it into Her mouth. And we will both be happy because we will both believe I deserve it, and have earned it.

My cock is not hard at the thought. 25 strokes is an ordeal. And David does not have to get strokes to get a blow job – but because She decided, I will accept it happily, and revel in the sex afterwards.

I think this could be really good for us – if She truly accepts that I only get sexual favours in exchange for the cane, and David gets it because they both love it, then it puts both of us firmly in our place.

Fantasy

Mistress told me one of Her fantasies: To be out with me at a nightclub or pub, and bump into David. To move to be with him, and have me go home on my own.

She does not want this to be planned – She wants it to unfold by coincidence. Apparently it would be ‘so wrong’ that the ‘badness’ of it turns Her on.

She’s always been a little non compliant – that’s one of things that attracted me to Her – but of course I never saw myself as the victim back then!

Mistrust

This cuckold relationship brings pressures to bear on both of us.

The phone

Yesterday Mistress went up to London for the day. She had said that at some time in the day She would send David the ‘short skirt text’. But She never mentioned it.

When She got back, I snuck a look at Her phone to see if She had. She’d cleaned Her phone history, so there was no evidence of any conversation with him. I’m sure She didn’t text him, or She’d have told me.

But why did I check Her phone, and why had She cleared Her history?

Amanda

While in London Mistress met up with Her buddy Amanda, who now lives there (Amanda features in my blog from about 2 years ago, for those who don’t know her). They had a glass of wine and a chat, and, Mistress was texting me about it on the train on Her way home. She had told Amanda about David.

“What did you tell Her about him?” I asked. She replied:-

“Just that I met this guy screwed him, enjoyed it… U are up there and he was way lower down & that is u I love…. Generally she was jealous and horrified!”

Now, dear reader, you tell me, what kind of reply is that? Most of that looks to me more like what Mistress wanted to tell me than what She would have told Amanda.

For Amanda to be jealous, seems to me She must have told her more about how great the sex with David was, rather than how much She loves me…

Sex

This morning I offered to eat Mistress’ arse before She got out of bed. But She reached out and felt my hard on, and told me to play with her cunt and put it in – which I duly did.

As we screwed a myriad of thoughts went through my mind. Why did She choose to fuck today? Was it because Her thoughts were of David and She was feeling guilty? Had they talked yesterday? Or did She just genuinely want to fuck me?

I realised all these thoughts were going to prevent any orgasm from ever arising, so I tried to clear my mind.

Then She said “I want you to cum inside me, and then go down and lick me clean, lick your spoof out of me.” Well, of course that tipped the balance – I hate eating Her after I’ve just cum, and She knows it. I love the idea, but the reality is something else.

So of course I came almost immediately, and She sent me down to lick Her clean. When I was done She got out of bed to shower.

The need for sex

This morning I woke up horny – Mistress says I am always horny – She’s right!

I rubbed my hard on gently against Mistress’ thigh and arse while I caressed Her boobs and cuddled Her lovingly – I don’t dig into Her with my cock too much least it cause Her discomfort.

She kindly allowed me to eat Her arse before She got out of bed, and I did my best job, fucking Her arse with my tongue in a manner She clearly enjoyed.

When She got out of bed I followed Her to the bathroom with my raging erection – She saw it and told me to wank, so as to clear my mind for the day. I was hoping She might wank or suck it, but She didn’t offer, so I didn’t ask, but instead thanked Her and wanked. I asked permission to cum on Her back as She brushed Her teeth, which She kindly granted. I came on Her, She showered, and the day started.

I count my blessings, but I envy David who would have had a hand job, and blow job and been fucked, if he’d produced his hard on under similar circumstances, but there we go – one should count one’s blessings, and not complain.

(Doesn’t She need sex?)

Our friends

Later in the day Mistress contacts me – She’s just heard gossip about some family friends of ours. He has a Mistress that we new about – we didn’t approve, but we new.

When they were abroad on their family holiday a few weeks ago his wife asked him: ‘Your having an affair, aren’t you?’, and he said ‘Yes’.

So, his wife goes NUTS, poor lady, and is still nuts. Terrible affair.

My point is this: How did his wife know? They were on holiday away from home – no Mistress in site, no Texts, but she knew.

I believe she knew because he did not ‘need’ sex from her – he was not chasing it from her – there was no excitement in their sex life – because he was getting sucked and fucked elsewhere. He no longer needed her, and she could see that. So she knew. Kerpow! That is how it happens.

That’s why Mistress let me wank this morning – She doesn’t need sex from me any more – when She wants wild sex, She’s got David to think of, not me – ‘but you and I don’t do those things any more…’ She says to me, when explaining how great it is when David uses a banana on Her.

For Her pleasure or mine?

As we lay in bed last night Mistress told me to play with Her cunt (as She calls it). As I did so, She asked if I would like Her to touch my cock. I replied that I would like Her to touch my cock, that I could never get enough of Her touching my cock, but only if it gave Her pleasure to do so.

She said that it would give Her pleasure to do so if I asked Her to, and that in future I must ask Her to touch my cock, following which She would give me 5 strokes of the cane before doing so. She further clarified that I am to ask at least three times a week, or She would give me double that.

She said that I am responsible for making time to get my strokes before we go to bed – so if I have chosen any one day as the day I would like Her to touch my cock, then as soon as the kids go to bed I am to let Her know that I would like Her to touch me that day, so that She has plenty of time to cane me before we go to bed.

She asked me how I felt about that.

What is a slave supposed to say?

I said ‘Thank you Mistress. That is so dominant of You, and if it gives You pleasure to do that then I will be pleased to ask Her to play with me as instructed.’

‘Good’ She said. ‘Now put Your cock in me.’

I slid it in, without Her guiding me as She usually does. She said She could not touch me to guide it, because She would have to cane me first, before touching it, and so I had to guide myself in.

As I screwed into Her my head buzzed, and I shared my thoughts that it was so dominant of Her to insist on caning me before touching my cock, but yet She happily touched and sucked David without making him pay any price. She accepted this.

I told Her that I would love the privilege of seeing Her touch and suck David more freely than She does me, as such an illustration of Her power over me and my submission to Her.

My head and balls were spinning. As always I asked permission to cum in Her, which She granted and I came a huge orgasm into Her.

What a mind blowing session.

So it appears Mistress has resolved, very unusually with no encouragement from me, to be more domineering towards me – at least in this sexual way. What a turn.

Imperfections

Mistress & I had an altercation yesterday. We were discussing plans for today.

This morning at 3am we drove to Heathrow to drop of my father in law. Got back to bed at 7am for 3 hours. Now Mistress has gone for a charity lunch do (12 noon to 4pm) then will come home, then at 7pm we go to Her colleagues for dinner ‘till midnight. So with school drop offs and what have you, it’s a busy day, and we were discussing travelling plans.

Mistress is not good at time planning and keeping, and came up with a string of suggestions that would have meant being late for everything. It deteriorated into an argument. When I asked why it was something to fight over, She said because I was treating Her as if She was an idiot not able to plan and keep time, and She’s not an idiot.

Hmm. This is obviously delicate, because She is not able to plan and keep time. But I have decided it is I that should change. I need to make sure I communicate without there being any possibility of interpretation that I am speaking down to Her. Ever. I need to adopt a more humble approach. I started immediately and I think I am succeeding. Of course I can do better, and I shall try to.

The dinner

Meanwhile on to my worries about the dinner. We are due to get home at midnight. This is a classic circumstance for Mistress to send me home at midnight and go on to hook up with David to dance and fuck. I am sure that would be Her preferred end to the evening. I am terrified it will be the ending to the evening. My heart beats at the thought.

I should, in accordance with ritemate’s guidance, make the suggestion to Her, so that She can happily pursue it if She chooses. I will do that.

The skirt text

One of my Followers, whom I am honoured to be Followed by, ritemate, is incorrigible – he drives me (and Mistress when I share it with Her) deeper with every word of his advice which is always so simple it is predictable – but I don’t think of it.

I put up the poll about the skirt text to canvas your views on whether it would be right or not to send that text. But I think ritemate’s comment on my ‘Crazy Dichotomy’ post says it all – I must encourage Her because it makes Her (so) happy.

So, accepting the poll and ritemate’s advice, not wanting to waste time I suggested to Mistress today lunch time, that She could break David’s recent silence by texting him to say She was planning to wear a short skirt and stockings to work on Tuesday. Just that, and see what transpired.

She loved the idea, grinning all over the place and discussing it (it’s so weird that what is obvious to one person is not obvious to another – but that’s just life – we need each other). The idea made Her so happy I felt good.

She’s thinking about whether or not to do – but I’m sure She will.

I’ll keep you posted.

(The picture is one of Mistress in a rather nice skirt outfit - but the face is used on Her Facebook profile and I don't want to temp fate putting it here!)

What is normal?

In July we went away on our family holiday and since we got back life has not been ‘normal’.

First I sprained my back getting in and out of Mistress’ new sports car – I’ve not been able to play golf, or go down on Mistress’ arse properly, since then. She said She’s not caned me because She’s not wanted to make it worse.

Then Mistress’ mum came to stay for a couple of weeks. Then when she left, her Dad came to stay for a couple of weeks.

He’s leaving on Friday morning.

My back’s getting much better – I have administered to Mistress’ arse the last few mornings – today’s being a particularly pleasant session.

So once Mistress’ Dad leaves us on Friday, life will return to normal. But what’s normal?

Will She cane me and bully more?

Will I get more sex from Her? Or less?

Will She see David more?

I’m sure something will be different. There is no such thing as normal. We shall have to wait and see.

The crazy dichotomy

This crazy dichotomy exists when Mistress is ‘actively’ fucking David:

I find Her more alluring. I think, I perceive, whether true or not, that She changes – She becomes more vital, more dominant. She swaggers more. She’s quite simply more darn sexy. More desirable. And of course I love that. I love ‘having’ such a sexy person.

Then there’s the other side to it: She’s too happy, too alive. Too vital. And She’s that way because She’s thinking of what he does to Her. I perceive myself, whether true or false, right or wrong, to be an irritant up against his sexual fulfilment. An annoyance that cannot do the job as well – less desirable to her – in fact, quite unnecessary in this respect.

I simply cannot reconcile the two sides. They both drive me. It’s the strangest sensation. It is literally not under control – I cannot control it – it’s almost frightening. It makes me feel that it’s not safe. I’m scared of it.

Request for skirt? 1 day only poll...

When Mistress went to meet David last week, She went in tight trousers - despite my suggesting that he would prefer a skirt.

Sure enough, when She was back She told me he had said how hot She looked the one time he saw Her in a skirt, and he said he would have to come and meet Her during a lunch break so as to see Her in a skirt.

Mistress looks HOT in a skirt - the pic here is of Her leaving my golf club after lunch one day.

Yesterday Mistress went to work in a DELIGHTFUL short skirt and tights. Yummy. She often does this - She does not own a long skirt! But I wondered if She was doing it with a view to hooking up with David on this occassion, but apparently not.

She was looking so hot that I went into town to meet Her in Her lunch break - so I had the benefit!

I was going to suggest to Her that She looked so hot, She should text David and let him know She had on a short skirt and tights... see if he didn't respond.

But I don't want to enourage Her - I don't want to Her see him again (well, you know, I don't know...) but I do know She'd love the whole event if She got to flirt then flash Her legs at him....They'd probably end up fucking for 3 hours on that day!

So what should I do? In my 24 hour poll only to the side, give me some advice!

Paying for sex

Last night I invited Mistress to suck my dick if She wanted to. She declined. Then She relented, and said that She would suck it, if I first asked Her to give me, and actually then got, 20 strokes of the cane. Once she had caned me, She would suck me well.

In fact, She decided, She will never suck my cock again, other than under this regime – I must first ask for the strokes, and the sucking that follows.

So, She asked, did I want Her to proceed?

20 strokes is a vicious affair that would leave my arse swollen and perhaps cut, so I declined.

She grunted and said that I would have to ask for a blow job on these terms at least once a fortnight, or She’d cane me anyway.

This is what happened last time She was fucking David – She got much more dominant.

Sex Update

Mistress was kind enough to give me a brief version of events when She last met David. When they first got in he used a vibrating egg on her clit.

Then she lay back and he fucked her pussy.

He turned her, lubed and tried to fuck her arse but could not get in because She was too tight, so they abandoned that and instead She sucked his dick.

They fucked and he came in her cunt, with her riding on top of him.

Oh yes! And She nearly forgot to tell me, he also had some anal toy that She used on him ‘shoved up his arse’ was how She put it!

‘That’s all’, She said – but ‘that’ took them from about 11:30pm to 12:45, so there was obviously a little more to it than just that.

I am grateful to Her for the insight - She didn’t have to share it with me.

What did they get up to?

Mistress still won't tell me what they actually did - not that I've been pushing Her to tell me - I don't want to push Her to do anything - I just asked Her casually again, but She wouldn't say.

I can't even look at porn without wondering.

She texted him again this morning. She spent ages deliberating exactly what to say, and discussed it with me, and then sent him a sweet text to set his mind at ease after his boi fantasies about me yesterday.

Rationing! ?

David was on the 'phone having text sex all night yesterday - he invited Her round to his, and She would have gone, but couldn't really leave the house again with Her dad visiting us. If he was not here, She'd have gone back to him again.

I don't encourage Her - She's quite clear I'd rather have Her to myself, but I 'allow' it and She chooses to do it.

The text sex was, erm, amazing! They were going on about Her dressing him up as a girl with a wig and making him suck my huge cock deep into his mouth, and into his arse, and you name it! All from him! He wants me to fuck him in the arse! And She wants to do it - they agreed they'll set it up for when Her dad leaves.

Will they really? My goodness! What can I say?

Developments...

Mistress was kind enough to let me eat Her cream pie from David when She got back in at about 1:30 am this morning. And She had me screw her as well – She came twice while we fucked, making it at least four times for the evening – as She said, She’s a very greedy girl!

She had a great time with David. He said he’s given it a good go with his girlfriend since he met Mistress, but has decided she is not the one for him – he prefers Mistress and wants all of Her – but since he can’t have all of Her, and is not happy with his girlfriend, he is now resolved to have some of Her.

Apparently he plans to ‘ration’ his time with Her – and not see Her every day – so we shall see.

They had a good 3 hours in the pub Mistress described as chatting about all aspects of every day life. They’ve never done that before – shared life’s little intimacies – and She sees this as a big step forward…

Apparently when they went back to his place to fuck he took complete control in the bedroom and fuck they did – but She decided not to tell me the details – She says I don’t need to know those – all I need to know is they had sex.

She did tell me that Her arse was too tight for him, and he had to abandon his attempt to screw it – even the olive oil he usually uses did not help – he came in Her pussy which She had me eat on Her return.

When She got home She sent him a text 'Home now. It was soooo got to c u. xx." That says it all really.

Interesting the 2 kisses. Hitherto he has only had one kiss, and I have been the only one to get two kisses...

So that’s it. She’s like the cat that got the cream.

I am ambivalent.

Interesting day - and its not over yet...

Well, it’s been an interesting day so far.

This morning, as I was eating Mistress’ arse in bed she actually complained that I was not doing it well enough! I redoubled my efforts – though I thought I was doing fine.

When She had had enough, She drew me up and into Her and we had a great fuck while she moaned and groaned! I came thinking that for once David would get to eat some of my spoof!

Mistress was exuberant all day, not least this evening as She dressed to go and meet David – she’s just driven out looking like a million dollars – lucky guys is going to get to use all Her holes today!

She let me take a couple of pictures as She got ready, but I don’t have the USB reader to get them off the camera, so I’ll post them tomorrow.

And her Dad, my father in law, is sat in our family room watching telly, thinking She’s gone to meet the girls!

She says she’ll bring me back a load of spoof to lick up. I wonder!

We’re both wondering why he’s been so keen to meet up after so long – it’s almost like this marks a turning point of some sort? Perhaps more will be revealed.

They’re in each others arms now.

Tomorrow?

If they meet tomorrow he'll have his cock in Her arse and Her mouth, and will choose which of those to cum in... Which is more than I'll do in the next 3 months.

I guess that's why She needs/wants him.

Seems the conversation got him going...(or got them going!)

It continued...

Her: Ok, I look fwd to hearing from u :-) Xx

Him: Wot u up to tomorrow night? X

Her: Nothing much x what u thinking? X

Him: Well im trying to put [girlfriends_name_edited] off coming over so ill let u know 2m. Maybe a drink and..... Whatever u like? X

Her: A drink and whatever I like........ sounds so good! X

Him: Cool x

Looks like he might be back soon...

Mistress just forarded me this...

Her: Yes shame, coffee would have been good (?). Lovely to hear from you tho'. Hope u had a fab time away. X How are things generally ? X

Him: Yeah that would av been nice. Things are good thanks. Still job hunting x hows things with u? Wot u been up to? Still gorgeous? X

Her: Things are good..... Just busy with everyday stuff. Ha, am I still gorgeous? U'll have to tell me....when u see me :-) x

Him: Ok, that sounds fair. How about sometime next week? X

Her: Yes, that would be fab! What day were u thinking?X

Him: Not sure. Prob tuesday or thursday? Wot u up to this weekend? X

Her: No weekend plans at the moment. Have my dad visiting at the mo so will be doing stuff with him in the day . However, no evening plans... What are u up to? X

Him: Not sure yet. Nothin planned. Shall i let u know nearer the time? X

Her: Yup, let me know.... would love to c u . It's been far too long don't u think ? X

Him: Yes I do x

July 6th

Looking back I see it is July 6th since David and Mistress last fucked - that's the best part of 3 months - a fair while.

No wonder Her arse hole is tight when I lick it now - it is a while since he loostend it with his cock.

Is he back?

Mistress has not heard from David since his last episode, blogged below, so has not had sex with him for quite some time.

Last night in bed, She mentioned to me that She doesn't think She'll hear from him again - but hey presto - he's just texted her.

I've not pushed Her - Hey! I listen to my polsters - to contact him - though when She had me finger Her a few days ago and asked what I was thinking I did confess my thoughts were of Her shagging him - but that's not me encouraging Her is it?

I wonder what he's up to this time...

Interesting poll

I am fascinated by the poll results.

I wonder why they lean that way?

Is it because you don't approve of cuckolding, or because you don't want me pushing Her?

Phone sex

To Mistress’ surprise David texted Her again on Sunday morning. He was home alone. Feeling horny.

We were expecting guests, and She could not accept his invitation to join him, so they engaged in text sex while he indulged in what he called ‘serious self gratification’.

This went on for over an hour before he finally allowed himself to cum. The man does not just fuck for longer than me - he even wanks for longer than me!

He promised to build up another stock in his balls, and invite Her round as soon as possible…

Emotions

The conversation appears to have ended.

David accepted that he would like to see more of Mistress too, but ‘ I don’t want to get carried away, because I can’t have what I want’ – which is all of Her.

Her reply, that “some (or even lots!) is better than none at all” was met with a brief ‘maybe’.

And there it rests.

Mistress tells me that they’ve had this conversation before – he says he’s an ‘all or nothing’ kind of guy, and he wants all of her, which he can’t have. Apparently he’s (obviously) very happy when he’s with Her, but when She leaves he feels empty and lonely.

Emotions are some tough shit to deal with. Neither of us want him to hurt.

It’s such a shame he can’t happily have a slice of Her.

(I'm not sure: Does that make me lucky or unlucky?)

"..emotional & soppy..."

Mistress and David are exchanging texts fast and furious this morning.

After claiming he'd 'forgotten' what honesty he wanted to share with Her, he then confessed that actually he was feeling "emotional & soppy, and forgot that she was happily married..."

So I was right - he did want to say he loves Her! Needless to say She's cock-a-hoop!

She's replied that married people get emotional and soppy too, and that She'd like to see more of him in every way.

It'll be interesting to see where this gets us...My cock is rock hard at the thought of where it could end up...

Encouragement

Why do I encourage them? I really don't know. I hate the fact that he fucks Her better than me, but still I encourage it. She, on the other hand, will not say the words 'he fucks you better than me' - She says She does not think that so why would She say it. Her actions shout that anyway.

Whatever the reason, I don't know. But yesterday I wrote this letter to David and gave it Mistress to pass on to him:

Dear David

I am sorry that you have not been able to see more of [Mistress] in recent times.

For some years before she met you she did not get a really good flirt and fuck from me on account of my submissive nature towards her. I know that in the few meetings you have had she has really enjoyed your company, going out with you, and the sex with you.

To start with the whole thing caused me some anxiety, but she and I have discussed that a number of times and I have completely accepted my inability to deliver the sort of sexual thrills and experiences that she has enjoyed so much with you.

I do wish the two of you were able to see more of each other, so that she (and you) could enjoy more sexy and fun times together. Perhaps if you were able to do so, then you would also be able to guide and help her in her dominance of me, ensuring that she, or both of you, draw the maximum possible benefit from my submissive nature.

I am sure that she would like to see more of you, and if you feel the same way then I urge you to do so, enjoying yourselves to the maximum. If there is anything I can do to help facilitate this, anything at all, then please let me know.

Yours sincerely

Interesting text

We went to bed early on Saturday night – about 11.00. Mistress was not tired, and I thought to myself that in the mood She was in, it would have been an ideal night for Her to go out with David for the usual all nighter they enjoy. But it didn’t happen and we were early to bed.

Next morning while making the tea I checked Mistress’ phone and saw She had a text from David, so I took Her phone up with Her tea. She read it and past it to me to see.

He had texted at 10:00pm the Saturday night - that he was on an honesty drive, and would She mind if he texted Her with his honest view on the situation?

How odd….

She replied (Sunday morning now) that yes, She would welcome his honest view – but She’s not had a reply yet – 3 days later.

She speculates that he’d had a few beers when he decided to be honest with Her, but when he didn’t get the immediate reply & assurance he was after, he never sent his missive. She reckons that without the Dutch courage in him, he won’t come out with it…

We speculate what his ‘honest view’ is. She says he wants to call their relationship off, to focus on his girlfriend. I think the opposite – he’s tried his girlfriend and she doesn’t work for him any more. He thinks of Mistress all day every day and wants to spend all his time with Her – he wants to say ‘I love you’.

I hope that’s what he says – She will be very pleased – and it could lead to a more intimate relationship – this situation where he lies low for ages (apparently trying to get over Her) is far from ideal.

Hopefully one day soon we shall find out. Obviously I’ll let you know…

Sunshine...

Mistress wore the shirt, and went to the hairdresser that morning to have her hair cut, to what I called the 'Grace Jones' style shown here - she looks lovely in it! But I'm biased!

Symbolic

A little while ago I bought Mistress this T-shirt. I had it made for her.

It confirms that She can do Whatever She wants with Whoever She wants Whenever She wants. That’s David or anyone else.

This morning in bed I cuddled up to Her with my hard dick touching Her. As I turned I placed Her hand on my cock, and She very briefly and a little reluctantly touched it before letting go.

If She were with David and his hard cock was in the vicinity She’d have gone for it voraciously. It just goes to show She does need the alternative cock – mine does not give Her all that She wants, needs and deserves.

I asked Her to please wear the shirt today and She kindly agreed. I might post a picture of Her wearing it….

Talk of Sam...

Mistress’ mum (my mother-in-law) has flown in to visit and stay for a week. All very nice.

On Saturday, her first day here, I was all over the place serving Mistress and pandering to Her needs, and She was clearly enjoying having me serve Her so in front of Her mum.

That evening while enjoying a glass of wine together, my mother in law recounted a tale of a recent party back at home, attended by some chap called Sam. She gave is all sorts of details about Sam’s lovely new Mercedes, and what a nice car it was.

What She doesn’t know is that I know that Sam was Mistress’ lover throughout Her University days. He was a rich, working, married man back that, and She his mistress… He used to spoil Her with gifts, eating out and weekends away, in exchange for which of course he got what all married men get from their mistresses – better sex than they are getting at home.

Mistress only stopped seeing him when we got married – She basically went and said ‘goodbye’ to him as the two of us wed.

Of course now our horizon has changed, and She could choose to bed him again if She wanted….

So we listened to Mother-in-law going on about Sam, and I felt quite humiliated by the whole experience.

That night in bed Mistress was as wet as a well as She played Her ‘what are you thinking’ trick on me, and I confessed to a fear that She might start screwing Sam again, and might even tell him that I am Her submissive cuck. For sure if She did, he’d be all over her….This thought clearly turned Her on and She has been a little north of kinky ever since...

It's good to talk...

After licking Her arse and making Her a cup of tea, I spoke to Mistress in bed this morning while She drank Her tea.

I shared with Her my uncertainty regarding what She wants with regard to our FemDom relationship.

We had a really good talk about it. The upshot of which illustrates the typical spiral that occurs when a couple are not talking enough:

She felt that I was not happy in our FemDom relationship, and so She has been trying to reach out to me to build the loving foundation that is an essential pre-requisite to the FemDom.

I have seen Her holding back on the FemDom and resented/feared what that might mean.

But she is 100% clear that She wants to be the boss in a FemDom relationship. So we have agreed that She will simply assume this role, taking full charge and not pussy footing around being soft and touchy with me.

Already She is so much happier now that we have discussed it – she looked radiant as She left the house just now – She has not looked like that for a few weeks.

She called me to Her dressing room as She got ready, and confirmed that She definitely wants to be in charge in a FemDom relationship.

‘From now on…’ She started the conversation – one of you good readers has blogged on this topic – how we submissives long to hear those words!

‘From now on we will live a FemDom relationship and I will be in charge. I will set down the rules. They will be simple rules and there will only be 5 of them. I will write them down this evening and give them to you, and you will follow them”.

I am so pleased. I welcome the simplicity of submitting to Her will – I feel so lucky – and glad I talked to Her – remember guys, it is good to talk!

Try harder!

Before ritemate responds with his on-target advice(!) I should probably point out that I do know the solution to this - try harder, serve Her better, submit to Her more, and benefit from Her improved happiness.

I am now trying all those things...

Insecurity

I am not happy in my relationship.

We do not live a FemDom relationship. She does not Dom me. Rather, we live a male sub relationship, where I serve Her. I get no Dom back in return for my submission. Actually, I get nothing ‘back’ at all from my submission. Nothing.

Of course I can’t ask Her to Dom me – what would be the point of that? If She doesn’t want to, She doesn’t want to, and its not about me telling Her how I want or expect Her to behave. It’s about Her doing what She wants.

Trouble is, this leaves me concluding that She does not want FemDom. Evidently. No matter what She says to the contrary. Ergo, my submission is an unwanted irritant.

I’d rather not be in this relationship than be an unwanted irritant. Which leads me to conclude that I want out of this relationship. Seems a bit drastic. But the fact of the matter is I’ve changed – I’m not what She married – I’m a submissive wimp and She married a bold dominant.

And her actions, not Her words, but Her actions, show that She has no interest in or desire to pursue a FemDom relationship. So why bother? I should either desist from the FemDom charade that I live on my own, or depart in search of other shores.

I guess I should desist. But I’ve done that before – we’ve lived like that before, and it was not worth it. Neither of us was happy.

Sex object fantasy

I had a wank this morning.

David has been indisposed recently and he does not want to meet Mistresses for a month or so (reasons edited out to protect his confidentiality).

In my fantasy, She offered him the use of me during that time – pointing out to him that he does not care what I think of how he looks, and so offering him the opportunity to use me for sex while he heals.

He could see the logic of this, and accepted the offer, summoning me to his place, or coming here during the day whenever he wants to cum.

In my fantasy he uses me for blow jobs - having me swallow his cum at least once every two days - and also for anal sex - fucking me in my arse. To spin it out and enjoy it more, he also punishes (canes) and dominates me while he has me.

I spattered a big orgasm onto my chest at this thought. I’m not sure how much I would really like it to happen though!

"What are you thinking about?"

After Mistress has had me eat Her to orgasm in bed, or if She has me play with Her pussy in bed, she invariably asks what I am thinking about as I cuddle, screw (if I am lucky!) or play with Her.

I always answer truthfully, and in a positive light – designed to encourage rather than criticise or tell Her what I want Her to do. And the answer is always something to do with FemDom or David. Last night after I ate Her to orgasm She put me in Her pussy as I cuddled Her, and I truthfully answer that I was thinking how lucky I am that She chose to put me in Her, and that I was thinking that She might get bored of me screwing Her, since She has already cum, and tell me to get out and go to sleep before She cums. This turned Her on - but She didn’t do it – allowing me to cum in Her – Hmmm – wonderful!

The day before, under similar circumstance, I answer that I was thinking how lucky I was to be screwing Her, and how if She started getting more from David She would have less need for me and would instead either ignore me or tell me to wank. The next day She texted David.

She does not appear to want to overtly bully or dominate me, but clearly She is turned on by these thoughts, and so asks for them.