Cuckold erection

This morning I had a huge cuckold erection. This occurred because Mistress was sat at the desk next to me arranging Her car insurance, and messaging Dave at the same time – furiously tapping away at Her crackberry keyboard.

What were they talking about? Tap-tap-tap.

Eventually She finished, kissed me goodbye and left for work.

I watched the gate. It didn’t open, and She didn’t drive out, for at least ten minutes. In that time She was sat in her car cracking him.

My cock got hard.

It gets hard because it wants to fuck him out of Her system. On and on, fuck, fuck, fuck, until She wants no one but me.

Some chance.

Coffee vs Sex

Its past 3 o’clock. They should be at their coffee date, but She’s not called me or texted to say She’s on Her way, as She usually does.

Has She been anticpating it for the past 30 minutes? Will they snog? Are they even going?

Why is a coffee date as tense for me as a forest fling?

1 pussy, 2 cocks, 6 orgasms, 2 arseholes and a coffee date

Mistress had a great time on Her ‘date’ in the forest. She got into his car in this deserted spot and they had a ball. Highlights I’ve gathered are:-

He came first, into Her mouth. While She had Her finger up his arse.

Then She came a long, long cum while he fingered Her cunt with a finger up Her arse.

He got one of Her tits out and sucked on it.

She did not remove Her skirt or panties – he worked round them.

He did not remove his trousers – he just pulled them down.

After She came She sucked his soft cock back to hardness. He wanked himself into his hand, and She licked his fingers clean.

They both loved it!

She then picked up the kids and came home. I offered to eat Her pussy and She let me, so we went upstairs to bed and I ate Her to another orgasm.

She then told me to fuck Her – instructing me not to lie on Her but to kneel and fuck Her, which I gladly did, cumming in Her.

That night he was in a hotel and got horny again, so they had BBM sex with lots of naked pictures of him from his hotel room before he came again.

Final score:-

Her 2
Him 3
Me 1

A good game, I reckon.

More coffee...

They are back in the office together again today. And already they have arranged a coffee date for 3 o’clock. After all those orgasms, they need coffee together so soon – man this thing is intimate – its disturbing. I am dealing with it by accepting that he is Her principal source of sexual excitement – only against that context can I appreciate Her inviting him for coffee already.

Forest fuck?

They’ve gone to the forest again – Mistress called me on Her way there to say they were going back to the remote car park they enjoyed last time.

I wished Her well – we chatted for ages. I commented that I would love to be fly on the wall, since it takes Her ages to leak out tit-bits of information about what they get up to.

She replied that I should be grateful and consider myself lucky that She tells me anything at all!

My goodness Her dominant streak is growing rather fast!

She’ll be in his car now. Knees round Her ears and tongue down his throat and cock in Her hand…

Cock sucking date

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Time of the month

There is that time of the month when a lady is not well disposed to sexual activity. Lasts about 5 days in our house. I am normally given a blow job during that period of time – that would be the one I was given last Wednesday.

Fortunately that period is over now, and last night marked a return to normalcy. As we climbed into bed Mistress told me to go down on Her and I ate Her to glorious orgasm. After, She invited me to fuck and cum in Her while I told Her I was Her submissive and She was entitled to Her alpha male.

Earlier in the day we had both commented that I have a harder submissive time when it is that time of the month, and I do. I think it is because I am not able to offer to and lick Her arse to mark the start of every day. When I do get to do this, I awaken clear of my place and role in our lives, and my day is clear and more pleasant. At least life is back to normal now.

Mistress was very kind when explaining to me last night why She wanted and had Dave in Her life:

“Because for years you have convinced me, and I now believe, that due to your submissive nature you are not able to give me the alpha male sex that I enjoy and deserve, and so I am allowed to go out and find it elsewhere, and that’s what he provides.

If you are saying now that you think you can and want to provide that alpha male sex, then we can try that – but we’ve tried it before, and we both know that that’s not you. And I don’t want that from you. I love you and want you as my submissive husband.”

When we discussed my difficulty during Her period, and my inability to service Her orally, She recognised the problem, but pointed out that I serve Her in many other ways that She loves:

“You make me tea, a bring me my blanket (to keep warm watching TV) you do the chores, you fetch and carry for me– you I do hundreds of little things that no other husband does for their wife, and I love you for it. You don’t have to lick my arse every day to submit to and serve me.”

She’s right of course. Thank good it won’t matter for the next 20 odd days.

So now we’ve had sex again, all appears to be well. Men! So predictable.

Cruel or dominant?

I got home from my game of racquetball at 6pm to find Mistress and the girls home, chatting in the kitchen having just arrived.

Her crackberry was on the sideboard, outside Her handbag, so that was evidently going on.

Despite all that transpired in the day, She picked it up and cracked with him in my presence, then taking it upstairs with Her when She went to change.

I had thought She might be sensitive to my insecurity, but no. Apparently not.

In a way I am grateful to Her for illustrating so clearly Her dominant role and that Her pleasure with Her alpha mail comes before my insecurities. My cock actually twitches at the thought of how cruel this is. Twitches mind. Doesn’t get hard. Just twitches.

Busy

Mistress tried to call me on Her way back in fro Her meeting, but I was on a conference call and so She sent me this text. It’s sweet. Except for the fat that She’s headed into the office where he was…

We have since been in touch, and She tells me they’ve both been busy so they’ve only exchanged the odd text between meetings…

Why do I do this?

Yesterday Dave was on a role. He and Mistress BBM’d all day as he wanked himself to orgasm at least twice over a 4 hour period (he was ‘working’ from home). I didn’t ask to see the crack, but Mistress offered it to me and I read it. The things they talked about! You would not believe! Her pussy must have been soaking the whole day.

“God you turn me on”, She said to him, “My pussy is dripping at the thought of your lovely cock ramming into me. We need to have a major fuck session soon so you can shove it in me”, and so on.

This morning I dropped the kids at school because Mistress was going for a meeting. There was a huge traffic jam on the motorway so I tried to call Her to warn Her not to take the motorway. She was still at home getting ready. I called Her iPhone. No reply. I called Her crackberry, She picked it up on the first ring. It was obviously in Her hand as the two of them had started their days crack.

She has on a short skirt and crotchless tights – they are expecting to meet up in the office later in the day.

Where do I fit in? As the provider of Her sexual excitement I don’t. I do fit in as Her submissive husband. God, it is so humiliating. The humiliation turns me on, but watching him provide Her sexual excitement kills me.

Sex, sex and more sex

This morning as I lay in bed Mistress grabbed my hard on and played with it a bit. This is quite unusual, but was, of course, very pleasant.

In due course She went down on me and gave me a blow job. She seemed pretty intent on making me cum. She paused and spoke.

‘I can never really tell whether I should give you a blow job or not’, She said. I’m going to decide if and when I should, and you won’t get any say in it. You’ll have to write it down every time I do, and I’ll give you some extra punishment strokes to make up for it’.

Needless to say I came furiously into Her mouth.

Throughout I was wondering, was She doing this to me because Dave has cum so much in Her mouth recently? Or because She wants to? If the latter, then why?

Why do I ask myself the question? She chooses to do it, and I like it. I know why She blows Dave. Because She wants to. Otherwise She wouldn’t. But why does She blow me?

I confuse myself some times. Most of the time.

Sex
Dave came again this morning as he had BBM sex with Mistress at 10am. He sent Her another cum pic (so She tells me).

More sex
At 12 noon he was ready for more, and pursuing a second shot. She’s not said ye whether he came or not. He certainly seems to be able to recover fast. The first time they had sex he came twice inside of 40 minutes.

I never used to feel this way

Mistress texted me a string of kisses at about 11:30, then called me to discuss an errand I ran earlier in the day. And I’ve not heard from Her since.

I texted her a food icon just after I ate.

It’s 2:10 in the afternoon now – She must have had a lunch break, but She’s not texted me.

Before the cuckolding this would not bother me, but now it does.

I even know Dave is not in the office today, but it still bothers me.

That’s one of the reasons why She doesn’t want me reading Her crack – because I’ll be able to see that She was in constant contact with him through the day.

I won’t ask to or look at Her crack today, unless She offers it to me in which case it would be rude to say no…

Ah. There She is with a text now – I’ll go and see what She has to say.

Difficulty accepting him

Right now I’m having a little difficulty accepting him. The constant intimacy She has towards him is difficult to accept.

She says that She loves only me, that the relationship with him is ‘just’ sex and excitement, but that I am Her loving, loved, submissive cuckold husband. Great. But not easy to just accept.

I’m not sure why I feel this way. It might be because he got to cum yesterday and I did not – even if his orgasm was ‘just’ BBM sex.

Morning ritual

At about 8:20 Mistress leaves to drive west to take the kids to school for 08:40. She drops them off, and comes back home for breakfast just before 9am. We eat together and She leaves for the office at about 09:30.

She always takes Her crackberry on this journey to school, then, after She’s dropped the kids, She sits in the car park and they BBM for a little while before She comes home for breakfast. Always.

He gets to cum

No surprises, Dave was in a meeting and was in touch as soon as he came free.

Very much in touch, in fact. Mistress got back from the gym and they started cracking. She got into the bath with Her crackberry and they texted furiously for about an hour. Fingers, arses, cocks and cunts. He send a series of pictures over time of a half errect cock, a hard one, a furiously hard one, and finally a pool of spunk in his fist as he came on himself as a result of Her efforts.

Needless to say She was delighted.

Some women love drawing sperm from a man. Have you noticed? Just like the cat that got the cream.

I am quite ambivalent about the whole experience. I’m glad She enjoyed it, but I didn’t get hard at the thought.

Round two
More disturbing was this: It turns out that last Friday after he came in Her mouth (in his car) they were sat their talking 5 minutes later, and sperm spontaneously erupted from his cock. Quickly She dived Her head down to get it all and clean him up.

Mistress never mentioned this to me when She recounted events afterwards, but Dave referred to the occurrence in his texts today, so She felt obliged to explain it all to me. ‘I’d forgotten that’ She said.

A perfect illustration of how She only need tell me what She wants, and why She would be happier if I didn’t read Her crack, so She wouldn’t have to worry about it…

I wonder what Mistress will do tonight? Has She had enough sex for today now? Or will She feel obliged to stimulate me to orgasm?

“Very quiet today”

Mistress just rang me up. She’s concerned, She’s not heard from Dave all day. She’s not texted him either… Saturday morning She said ‘Hi’, Sunday morning he said ‘Hi’, so it kinda follows that its Her turn today, but She’s not done it…

So with my support She’s texting him now to say Hi and catchup.

As I said to Her, now She knows how I feel when She talks to him all day and not to me…

If I ask Her why She doesn’t text me more, She says She’s busy (never too busy to text him though!). Now he’s at work and She’s got eh day off – the shoe’s on the other foot, but surprise surprise, She can’t see that!

What do words mean?

Are words significant? When are they significant, and when are they not? How do you decide?

Over the weekend Dave texts Mistress. He’s been to look at a BMW he’s thinking of buying. Nice, black 318i, white leather trim – really nice… “you would look great in it” he says…

‘Me?’ She says to me. ‘Why does he say I’d look great in it? I wonder if he thinks his wife would look great in it too, whether he thought about what She’d look like in it…’

Indeed. I wonder too.

Wanker

Yesterday when I was out on the golf course Mistress texted me to say that Dave was home alone, wanking and texting Her images of his cock while he did so (my words, not Hers).

When I got in She didn’t offer me Her crack to catch up on the conversation, but I took a look at is this morning – the usual exchange of hard core BBM sex that the two of them enjoy.

I wonder that She did not offer it to me to read. She’s not changed the password, so She knows I can get at it. Interesting.

At bed time She chose not to cane me, because I have been so ‘good’ where She defines ‘good’ as being happy and supportive of Her cuckolding relationship. So my arse was saved. But She claimed She was going to raise the banner, and start caning me more for not serving Her well.

She also says I cum too much for a submissive – every day or two at least. She says that is too much and She wants to introduce a payment charge for cuming – some strokes of the cane.

It could be an interesting week…

Lunch in the forest

Mistress and Dave took separate cars into the forest for their lunch date, so they didn’t get busted.

She followed him into the middle of nowhere. We spoke as She drove, and I suggested She turn him on by taking Her knickers off before actually meeting up, which She did.

She ended up in his car, where he played with Her pussy and Her arsehole. Her arsehole! I ask you! What position was She in that made that possible – I can only imagine She had Her knees around Her ears!

She wanked him and just before Her came lowered Her head to his cock, swallowing all his cum. Hmm. Lucky him!

Before She left to Her car, She noticed her makeup all over his shirt! Crisis! They tried to wash it off using bottled water from Her car, but it didn’t work.

On his way back to the office he had to stop off and buy a new shirt. I wonder what he told his wife that night!

We happened to be in the store he bought the shirt in – so I took this picture…

Which hole?

I just did an online demo of my new software product. I'm exhausted, so I'm going to play golf this afternoon.

Mistress is in Her car, driving round after Dave. They are off into the forest to put things in differnt holes...

Should I crack?

Some time ago Mistress decided to stop sharing Her crack with me. She completely stopped. She changed the password, didn’t let me read it, and told me nothing about it.

It drove me nuts and I asked Her to change this, which She kindly did – it really was driving me nuts. So now I have the password and I read every word before She deletes the history (on a daily basis).

Within a FemDom context I think this is wrong. She has a stated preference to keep Her relationship private – I can see obvious benefits to Her – She could say and do whatever She wants with him, without any concern of me looking over Her shoulder. I mean, it’s not natural having a relationship with someone, and having another party watching your every move. Also, within the FemDom context, it makes no sense Her ‘reporting’ to me.

But the privacy drove me nuts, so we ended it.

So should I offer Her it back? Or should I let things lie as they are? If She wants privacy back will She take it (as She appears to have done today)?

I don’t know. What do you think? Please take the poll.

3 o’clock

It’s nearly 3 o’clock now – time for Mistress to leave the office. In Her crack with Dave yesterday She mentioned that She did not have to go anywhere until 4:30, so perhaps they could meet up.

She’s not mentioned him today. The past few days She’s texted me to share some snippets of their crack, but not today. She’s wearing his favourite dress and the open crotched tights so there’s no way they are not cracking away like mad…

Yesterday She told me that if She met up with him, I would have to kneel naked before Her, wanking my cock, to request any details. She didn’t meet him, so I didn’t have to do that – but I can see it coming soon. Perhaps She has that in mind for today before She shares any detail of what they’ve been up to?

Tea Time

Last night we had a friend round for dinner – great food and too much wine. Mistress went up to bed at midnight, but it was 2am before I went up to bed.

(At 11pm when we were on the cheese and biscuits Dave started to BBM Mistress, and She sat round the table with us cracking him for half an hour!)

So this morning I did not want to get out of bed, so I asked Mistress if She would mid making the tea while I slept.

‘OK’, She said, ‘I don’t mind doing it, but I’ll give you ten strokes (of the cane) for it”.

I leapt out of bed. 10 cuts is not worth it. I made the tea.

This is a picture of Hr in Her red dress before She left for work this morning. Those tights have no crutch!

Little red dress

Dave is in the office today, and Mistress has worn his favourite little red dress and the crotchless tights. I guess She’s hoping for some fun.

They were due to do on a date yesterday evening but other stuff came up so they didn’t make it. I don’t think they’ll get through the day without some sort of action today.

Reading yesterday’s crack was interesting – She certainly loves kissing him – ‘I can’t wait to kiss you’, ‘I want to kiss you more, more, more’ are common themes in their conversations.

So an interesting day today I think.

A day full of cocks

This morning Mistress told me to go down and lick Her arse. This is very unusual. Normally I have to offer. But I was glad off the opportunity to give Her as much pleasant stimulation as possible.

When She’d had enough She rolled round and telling me to stay there, started to wank my cock. She got it rock hard and then leaned forward sucking it into Her mouth. She took it out and said ‘I never know whether I should suck your cock or not. It’s not a very dominant thing to do for a submissive is it? What do you think?’

‘I certainly don’t deserve it’, I replied, ‘but if You want to do it then I certainly don’t mind’.

She grunted. ‘I think I should make you pay for it. Give you some extra strokes in exchange for sucking it. What do you think?’

‘Certainly. If that’s what You think’, I replied.

She returned to Her wanking and sucking, and made me cum a monstrous orgasm into Her mouth, swallowing it all down.

****
At lunch time I went into town to meet Her. One of the iPods is playing up, and we took it to the Apple store.

‘I got a picture of his cock!’ She informed me. I stared. Incredulous. At that time of day?

‘He went to the toilet. His cock was so hard, he took a picture and sent it to me. Then he walked back into the office cool as you like and sat back down at his desk!’

I gasped.

‘It’s amazing the power I have over these cocks’, She said. And She’s right.

Sex in the forest

Yesterday when Mistress got in from Her coffee date She gave me Her crack to read.

“So, Friday we take your nice clean car into the Forest for some dirty fun. I reckon we’ll get dirtier than the car” She’d said to him, and so it had gone on.

The day before they had cracked about fucking up against a tree in the forest, and apparently at their coffee date he suggested that they drive out to the forest on Friday lunch time.

She tells she gave a non committal answer, and that its not a firm plan yet, and we should ‘wait and see’.

But after they first cracked about it Mistress told me this was a current fantasy of Hers – and She very very rarely shares fantasies – to go out with him at their office Christmas party (which is at a remote country house hotel) and fuck outside up against a tree…. So She’s definitely game for it.

Date time

This morning he cracked Her to say ‘I’m all yours today, in the office, we must make a plan’ and they chatted about what they might do.

I need to do some shopping and Mistress is working late this evening so can afford to take some time off, so I suggested we might meet up at lunch time.

She smiled. “This is awkward” She said, “You know he might invite me out and that I’ll want to go with him, but if I choose him over you, you’ll get jealous and angry.”

We discussed it, and I thanked Her for all the sensitivity She has shown me since last Friday – texting me often and being kind and loving to me. But I said to Her that as Her submissive, it was more important to me that She show me clearly where She wants me as Her submissive, and even if this means cancelling a date that She and I already have because he comes up with a plan that She prefers, then I would prefer that She does that, and simply tells me so.

I said to Her that my preference would be for Her to tell me what She wants to do – go out with him – and that She expected me to take joy in Her choice and support it and Her decision fully.

She agreed whole heartedly, and said She was very glad we’d had that conversation, and from now on that is what She would do.

We shall see.

Coffee

She’s just leaving the office for their ‘coffee date’.

She really likes this guy – likes spending time with him, talking, laughing, flirting, having sex, drinking and just being friends – ‘friends with benefits’ She calls it.

She wants me to submit to Her desire for this, and encourage and support Her pleasure. Can you believe it? And that’s what I will do.

We exchanged this text earlier today.

Blow job

This morning before sending me down to make tea Mistress kindly went down and took my cock into Her mouth, bobbing up and down, and sucking me for a while. I didn’t get to cum, but it was still nice, and I really appreciated it.

I am not allowed to ask for any alpha male sex – on penalty of punishment, plus, if I ask, She says She will never give it to me. I am only allowed to ask to lick Her arse or Her cunt.

So it was a rare treat to have Her go down on me, albeit so briefly.

I think She did it to cheer me up, because She sucked Dave off to two orgasms last week, She felt She should give me something in return…

Telling people

A few days ago we had Mistress’ sister and our nephew stay with us for a couple of weeks.

One day Mistress and Her sister went shopping with a friend in Westfield Mall for the day. I had this suspicion that Mistress was cracking Dave all day, and sure enough when She came back She told me She had told Her sister that She was having this flirtation with (but not fucking) with a guy at work, and that they texted each other a lot – She told her so that She would then be free to crack him all day when they were out together – which She proceeded to do.

A month or two ago She told one of Her girlfriends a similar thing. The army of people out there that are aware something is up is growing.

Mistress and Dave are discussing a winter away day – another train ride to a drunken, fumble of fun. She is hoping it will be arranged for a Friday soon. In the meantime, he has also suggested they drive into the forest and fuck up against a tree. She seems pretty keen on that too.

They crack about anal sex too. I fear that he is going to fuck Her arse soon, something I am not allowed to do.

The cane and the crackberry

On Sunday morning Mistress kindly let me eat Her arse before I went down to get tea. As I left to go downstairs, She asked me to bring Her crackberry up to Her with the tea.

When I got down I checked the crack, and there were no messages from him. I decided not to take it up to Her, because I wanted Her for myself.

So when I tool Her tea up and She asked for it, I said that I’d decided not to bring it up, because there were no messages from him, and I wanted Her to dedicate Her time in bed to us, or me!

“You’ve earned yourself strokes for that” She said. “It’s not up to you whether to bring it or not, it’s up to me.”

I had hurt my back playing racquetball, so I was not in good enough health to be caned on Sunday night. In fact, I had to go for physio on Sunday.

On Monday after Mistress got back from the gym in the day time, She asked if my back was better, because She wanted to give me my punishment while there were no kids in the house to hear it. She mentioned drawing blood. But my back was not well enough.

Mistress has never asked to cane me in the day. I think She really is determined to use this an example that I must do as She says.

Dave started cracking Her and She got turned on, so She called me up to bed, took of Her clothes, and had me eat Her while She had BBM sex with him. She put my cock into Her and I cam in Her as She cracked him.

Yesterday She cracked him again all day. She now refers to him openly as Her boyfriend when talking to me.

They had two dates last week – both resulting in sex. And now they are due to go for coffee after work this evening, which will no doubt result in kissing.

Ups and Downs...

Where shall I start? I guess with an apology for the lengthy silence. There have been ups and downs. Let me tell you about it.

Down
The Friday of my last post was a down. I was convinced Mistress had gone on a date with Dave and not told me. Turns out She was busy. I didn’t handle it well. She was not pleased. It was a bit of a downer.

Up
Mistress and I talked. I explained to Her that I couldn’t hack the privacy of Her relationship with him – I just could not understand it. We talked. We listened. She agreed to let me in, and tell me whatever I want to know, and let me read Her crack whenever I want – ‘I have nothing to hide’ She said, I just like doming you with the private cuckolding.

That was an up. I now read Her crack with him, and it’s smoking!

Up and Down
Wednesday last week Mistress and Dave met in a London pub. She played with his cock, he played with Her pussy. In the cab on the way back to the station she sucked his cock – in the cab!! I guess that’s an up and down! This was the second pair of crotchless tights She wore for him!

Up and Down
Friday was ‘pink’ day in the office – you could wear pink, and pay a couple of quid into a breast cancer charity. Mistress wore pink, including knickers and bra. Dave loved the knickers and bra – they met in the disabled loo – She tool all Her clothes off while he had a play, and then She went down on him. She bobbed up and down – he came in Her mouth. I guess that’s an up and down.

Crack
The crack is getting raw! The man has wanked just about every day for the last week, while cracking with Her! He’s taken to sending Her pictures of his cock when its hard – here’s one. He wanks it, so I guess that’s an up and down too…

Where are we heading?
I think we are much happier now that we are sharing stuff – I am anyway – but I think Mistress might have preferred it if it was private, but I just couldn’t cope, and the Darling Girl says most important thing is that we are both happy, so that’s where we are.

Where are we heading? We discussed that today. She wants to head down the road where our Femdom becomes increasingly extreme – She dominates me more, I serve, submit to and support Her, especially on the cuckolding front, and especially happily. I guess that’s an up. That’s what I want too.

I’ll try and keep you posted better. It’s been a challenging time. I’ll try to post every day again now…

Where?

At 3pm sharp Mistress texts me. She'll be leaving 'at about 3:45' She says.

I text Her back. 'Have You not finished Your project yet?'. No reply. Conclusion? She's just left for a 30 minute date with him. She's not looking at Her phone while She's with him, so She'll not reply until 3:45. I reckon.

Busy at work?

Mistress tells me She is very busy at work. She must be, because She was due to attend a course in London today and had to cancel that – so instead She’s busy in the office.

And Dave is just back from 3 weeks leave – so he’s got a tonne of mail to sift through you can imagine.

Mistress is due to finish work at 3 this afternoon – in half an hour. At that time Her time is Her own. Dave is supposed to work until 5 – but he’s senior enough to walk out for 30 minutes if he wants a coffee…

So will they take a break from their busy schedules for each other? She wants to – she would not have worn the open crotched tights if She was not allowing for his hand to stray in there.

Will they get together today? If they do will I get to know? Take my poll, you tell me...

First day in the crotchless tights...

It’s Mistress’ first day in the office with him since his holiday, and Her first day in the crotchless tights. I guess She’s hoping that he’ll get to play with Her pussy somewhere – perhaps in the coffee shop or lift. Who knows. Not me.

The Crack is Back

He’s back – the three weeks holiday has come to an end.

Our notice of this was the message alert on Her BB when I came down to make tea this morning. So I took it up to Her with Her tea.

She told me, after She’d replied, that he’d texted Her at 6am just to say ‘Hi’ and ‘I’m back’. So that’s where his mind was at 6am.

They exchanged a few messages before Mistress left for the gym. They are probably messaging now. Continuously.

The other day in bed, while Mistress played with my cock, She told me that when he came back it would all start again, and that She would message, flirt and see him, hopefully to fuck as well, as much as possible. She would enjoy doing it, and I should get used to it. She said that if She detected that I was not handling it properly, then She would punish me, but that it would go on.

Midnight...

Mistress has only just got the train 'too much gossip' She explained it away. So I'm in bed blogging from my iPhone.

Tomorrow Mistress' sister and her 7 year old son come to stay for two weeks. I asked Mistress if She would still cane me with Her sister in the house and She said certainly.

She doesn't think She'll tell Her sister about Dave. But I think Her sister will spot them cracking away and guess.

Mistress is increasingly dominant towards me these days, almost bullying. I think Her sister will spot that too. It's going to be an interesting two weeks.

Only three more days now and Dave is back from his three weeks away. Mistress is clearly counting the minutes. I do hope I handle it well. I really want to be very supportive of Her and however She chooses to live.

It's getting very embarrassing these days eating pussy. I eat and eat and eat, and Mistress never puts me in Her mouth. Last time I ate Her She criticised my style right as I was doing it - told me off for resting my chin on Her - said all She wants to feel is my tongue! That was a first. And then She said I could fuck Her in exchange for ten strokes of the cane. Only Her boyfriend gets to enjoy Her for free, She said, not me.

London Night Life

Mistress is out in London with an oooold girlfriend. She was a bridesmaid at our wedding 15 years ago! Mistress had a training course all day and then hooked up with Her buddy in the City. They’ve been on the booze since 6pm.

So I had to feed the girls and put them to bed – goodness the stress! But we had a good evening. So now they’re asleep and its just me up. Reading porn…(She Wanted a Younger Man).

I texted Mistress to say I’m missing Her. She replied 20 minutes later to ask me to check train times – for an hour and an hour thirty from now – so She won’t be home until about 1:00 am.

I wonder if they’ve hit on any men tonight. I doubt it. I wonder if She’s told Her buddy about Dave. Maybe.

Plan B

Right now Mistress is working in the Kitchen, listening to the band ‘Plan B’.

She got the CD from Dave. She’d never heard of them before She met him. Now we listen to it quite a bit of the time.

Is She thinking of him as She listens to it? Did She choose to listen to it to remind Her of him? If the answer to either of these questions is ‘yes’, then does it matter to me? Should it matter to me?

What do you think? Please take today's poll.

Choosing when to serve

Last night we had visitors round – one of Mistress’ girlfriends. The two were enjoying a glass of wine and a gossip before dinner, when Mistress asked me to cook the dinner so that She could sit and chat.

Mistress is an excellent cook, and I am a crap one, so I didn’t want to do this, so I said to Her that I would do this but the food would get spoiled, so if She didn’t want to cook, then could I instead go out and pick up a ready meal.

She said no, and She cooked the meal.

She was not happy. She said that today I am to be punished with 40 (40!) strokes of the cane. ‘You don’t choose when to serve me! You do as I say!’ She said.

As soon as we woke up this morning I did apologise to Mistress, but She was still cross, and is looking forward to caning me tonight. She would not even let me eat Her arse or Her pussy this morning – She said I don’t deserve to touch Her at all until I’ve been properly punished.

When I apologised I asked Her to please teach me how to cook the stir fry (her favourite dinner) so that I could cook it for Her in future. She told me not to tell Her how I should serve Her, but to simply do as I was told, all the time.

She is of course quite right.

I do hope this marks a turning point in our relationship where from now on She will not hesitate to tell me what to do whenever it makes Her life better, whether She knows I want to do it or not.

Private Affair

Last night Mistress finished work at 3pm. She picked the kids up at 5.30 and was home by 6. She called me at 4:30 from the shops She was in.

This morning I explained to Her that if Dave was around, and She had not called me, I would have climbed up the wall wondering if She was with him.

She got very cross and started arguing with me – even though I had approached Her in a friendly and amiable manner to discuss it.

She said that if She was going to see him, kiss him and have him play with Her pussy, then what business of mine was it to know when She was doing that and when She was not?

I replied that when we got into this it was not a private affair – we shared it and it was for both of us.

She responded that things have changed now, and that I should get used to the new way.

I asked why (still very friendly on my part) why She wanted to go private with it, and She replied that it was because that was what She wanted to do, and it was the most dominant thing She could do to me, and that’s what She wanted to do.

She said that in fact She has never met him without telling me in advance, and would never do so.

She parted and we went to work.

I called her on the way in to work, and said that I was not happy that we had had an honest conversation – She obviously wants to go private so why isn’t She doing so? Why is She always so happy to compromise anything to be able to carry on seeing Her man? Why is She not simply honest about what She wants?

I asked why She did not say: I want to have a private relationship with Dave in which there is no obligation, intention or expectation that I will share anything with you except what I choose. And I expect you, as my submissive, to accept and support that relationship 100%’.

I asked why She never starts discussions about what She wants – we only talk after I discuss my issues with Her – but She never shows any initiative.

I don’t’ get it.

We have agreed to discuss it more later.

His stockings arrive

Mistress mentioned, as we sat downstairs yesterday, that the stockings had arrived that day. She usually orders things for delivery to Her work address, because there is always someone there to receive it – so I guess the tights went there.

She didn’t show them to me as She brought them in. She just put them in Her sock drawer. She must have looked at them first, and thought how nice it would be to experience the soft, silky feel of the material, and the breezy, open freshness of Her naked pussy as She dressed and offered Herself to Dave. I’m sure Her thoughts were not on me at all.

Months ago, when this thing started, we’ve have chosen the tights together and She’d have shown them to me when they arrived. We'd have shared the excitement. But not any more. She's chosen to do it differently.

Crotchless tights (For him)

Last night Mistress gave me 30 punishment strokes of the cane:-

10 for getting cross with Her when She said something I did not like.
5 in exchange for touching my cock
10 for giving me a blow job
5 for not getting up to bed in time to be caned earlier in the week.

She caned hard and slow. Deliberate strokes. I can still feel them now.

She has been very aggressive since Dave has been away. I can only speculate it is because She is missing him and does not want me to forget my place while he is away.

While She fucked me in bed after the punishment, She told me She had ordered some crotchless tights. She explained, as winter approaches She will need to wear tights. And when She’s meeting Dave, She wants him to be able to feely access Her pussy – hence the need for crotchless tights.

She said that I will be able to see when She puts them on the morning, and so will know that She is planning in giving him access that day.

I asked if She was determined to continue seeing him then, and She replied She most certainly was – She was looking forward to it, and cannot wit for him to touch Her cunt again.

She has already identified the dress She is going to wear for their date on his first day back at work. A tight maxi dress that hugs Her arse and show the mound of Her pussy. With no knickers, so that he can clearly see what is under there.

Peace...

Well, Dave is gone for 3 weeks holiday.

Mistress now leaves Her blackberry in the house when She goes out – She misses it greatly! I love seeing it here when She is out.

We are enjoying our time together, although She admits She thinks of him every day and is looking forward to his return.

I will have a very pleasant 3 weeks. I’ll keep you posted on how life progresses.

After all that, more kissing in the lift!

After all the pain of our test exchange on Friday, when Dave left on his holiday at 3pm, Mistress got in the lift with him on the way down so that they could have a kiss and a grope!

Later that night She and I went on a pub crawl with some friends and had a great night out – though I was embarrassed holding Her hand and being close to Her because I felt like a spare wheel.

It was not until Saturday lunch time that She told me She’d been in the lift with Dave. She seemed to think nothing of it that She’d done this even after our test exchange.

As She said, if he’d asked Her out that Friday, She’d have gone with him rather than on the pub crawl with me anyway!

She’s crazy. That’s why I love Her!

Final round..

Mistress - :

Sorry, been in meeting and dealing with shit here, haven't even had lunch. Xx

Me - :

Hard luck. Xx

Mistress - :

Just read your txts. It is not the latter. I am having a tough day working and you should be doing the same. Stop spending your time assuming things things that are wrong and a waste of valuable time and work instead. Can't this wait until I get home, surely??? Focus and perspective pls ! Xx

Me - :

Of course it can and will wait. I was just concerned at the silence. Xx

Mistress - :

Silence in many cases especially at work usually means busy!! xx

Me - :

Yes. Or in Your case a date... xx

Mistress - :

Yes, much less though. Stop fretting, pls pls pls.... I am really really worried about you! Xx

Me - :

I’m not fretting now I've heard from You. I am not worried about me. You don't need to worry about me now, until the day Dave gets back! Xx (from his three weeks holiday that has just started).

Mistress - :

I shouldn't have to worry about you as much as it is, especially your mental health. & I mean that in the real sense of the words mental health! xx

Me - :

I agree. The shift from being everything to you to where we are now is not trivial- I am surprised You are doing it and I am handling it so well.

Mistress - :

Then let's not do it then! That will get rid of the surprise and we can move on with our lives xx Correction, you are not handling it well & that's fine, why should you be expected to - it is selfish of me and even ask! I appear to be destroying you and that's the last thing I want to do in the world. You are too important for me and love you too much to watch you disintegrate in front of my very eyes! Xx

And that where things rest now…

More Talk

Mistress to me – just as She received my missive below:

Funny, I was in the middle of typing this txt to you before yours came in so I'll send it before reading yours to me I love you and only you. I love you as my submissive husband and only you have that role and place. You have the prime no. one spot on my life. Xx

Mistress to me – 10:45am - after She read my long one...:

Did I not make you polish my shoes as I went on a date? Is that dominating or not? Did I not make you wank yourself? Sometimes, I just want to do nothing and lie in your arms and sleep..... I enjoy that too. I also txt you and talk to you too just like I do him and I enjoy that. Do I have to be doing a dominating act for you and I to enjoy and love each other? Same way, he and I don’t have to be having bbm sex or real sex to be friends. You and I can sometimes be friends and enjoy that too. I do and sometimes, that's enough for me! Xx

Me - :

Yes. I'm not criticising You, and I'm not asking You to change or Dom more. All I'm doing is asking for Your understanding & help. Xx

Mistress - :

Ok, I do understand sweetheart and I will help you. In the meantime, pls don't worry about what it and spend your time pls working and making something of your business, that's what us important during the working day. I love you dearly xx

Me –

Good. Xx

Me – 11:36:

I guess the biggest thing for me all my life with You is that You have always loved, needed and wanted me, and only me. And You have always made that so apparent to me. This has always made me feel so lucky and privileged, and I have always felt so confident of Your exclusive love for me. Now You want and are having a real relationship with someone else - not only me. That turns some 15 year old fundamentals on their head. X

Me – 12:11:

Right now, for example, I don't know whether You've not replied to my text because (1) You are in a meeting, (2) don't have anything to say, or (3) have gone out for coffee with Dave, and despite my problems, are just getting on with Your relationship with him. Of course I assume it is the latter (3). Xx

That’s where things rest right now, 12:45.

What am I saying?

An open letter to Mistress

I’m not complaining that You want, and are obviously enjoying pursuing, a private relationship with Dave.

I want to live as your complete submissive, and if that’s what You want to do with Dave, then I regard my role to be here for You when You get back or need me, and to love and support You unconditionally.

End of story.

But I am finding a few things along that journey a little tricky to deal with, and I want Your help with them. I want to discuss them with You, because whenever I discuss things with You, You always help us find the best route forward.

This is a long way from where we started – where You had the cuckold relationship “for us” and we shared most or all of Your relationship.

Now we don’t share it. It’s for You, and I only get whatever crumbs You choose to let fall from Your table, if any.

I can understand that You want to flirt with him, have dates and do stuff, and You don’t want me looking over Your shoulder and nosing in. You want the freedom and discretion to do whatever You want to do – and I accept that that is entirely reasonable.

And that’s all OK when You and I are having sex and/or you are dominating me every day or two – because I feel that I am emotionally important to You – in a sexual or submissive way. But when You and I don’t have sex, or You don’t dom me for days, and yet during that time You do pursue and enjoy Your relationship with Dave (as has happened over this past week) then I feel left out. I see You relating with excitement to him, and not relating to me in any significant way at all. So I question where I fit in.

In my cuckold fantasy, when You had another boyfriend, it made You more dominating and humiliating towards me – so that as You enjoyed the boyfriend more, You also enjoyed humiliating and dominating me more – and so I felt more the valued submissive.

In my fantasies, You told me how great the sex (and the relationship) was with Your alpha male:

“He bought me dinner and gave me a bunch of flowers, isn’t he great!”

“He wants me with him and I want to be with him so I’m going. While I am away I want you to do the laundry.”

“We had great sex for hours – we did everything. He fucked me silly and it was wonderful. Now I just need to sleep.”

And if You didn’t want to fuck me You told me, or You made me wank myself off, or You caned and humiliated me instead of fucking me, and so in my fantasy I fitted in very clearly as Your submissive.

But the reality is not like that.

I’m not saying the reality should be like that – that’s not for me to say. We would both prefer for You to say what the reality will be like.

Right now You are saying what the reality is with Your actions – You are saying that You are pursuing a relationship with him, and I should sit quietly & submissively on the edge and simply do as You wish, which quite often is nothing.

I can live with that. But its very hard accepting that I am emotionally important to You when I am in that role.

I don’t want, and I am not asking, You to change Your actions and behaviour in any way. On the contrary, I want You to selfishly pursue exactly whatever it is You want.

What I am asking is that You help me to accept my submissive role.

I love You and am here for You.

Kisses

God, its so embarrassing. She’s just walked in with this kids and given me a big smile and nice, warm, soft kiss. Lovely.

But has She been in the lift kissing him earlier today? I don’t know. Maybe. Does it matter? Why do I feel so embarrassed about it?

“That’s it, really…”

Mistress has just called from Her car on the way out the office to go and pick up the kids. Our conversation was fairly brief. She’s got a lot of work to do so has carried some work home – She might do that this evening or early tomorrow morning, She’s on Her way to get the kids. “That’s it, really”, She concluded Her update. “OK”, I said, and our conversation ended.

A few days ago this conversation would not have possible without talking about Dave – She’d have told me what they’d cracked about through the day, and what their next plan was – possible date or fuck session. But not today. Today there was that pregnant silence at the end of the conversation. Needless to say I didn’t ask, and won’t ask, any questions.

Dave sent Her crack this morning, so I know they’ve been in touch.

When She told me of Her decision to go private with their relationship She specifically said that She wanted us to be able to live and talk without him always coming into it, or his name always coming up. He was ‘too dominant’ in our lives, She felt. She wants us to live and enjoy in our own right, and not have him as the be all and end all of everything.

So this is Her attempt at achieving that.

It might work for Her. But the absence of news about him is just as significant if not more so than the presence of news about him.

Tomorrow is his last day at work before he goes off on holiday for a few weeks, so it’ll be interesting to see how those few weeks go – there won’t be any pregnant silence because the two of them won’t be in touch. She’ll start to leave Her crackberry at home.

Humiliating chat

Today Dave is going for a corporate entertaining day at the cricket with clients.

When I came down to make the tea this morning there was a message from him on Her crack, so I took that up with Her tea and as we sat in bed She read and replied to it – quite a long reply – She was typing for a while.

I went to school with Her to drop the kids, and on the way back we commented what a lovely day it is – great weather to be watching the cricket it. She agreed, and said that Dave had said, when he texted earlier, that he could do without watching the cricket – he’s too busy with lots on. She didn’t tell me what She had gone on to reply – I can only guess.

I found it so humiliating – that She has a whole other life with this man with whom She discusses his daily affairs and swallows his sperm, that I don’t ‘know’ about – other than what She tells me, and that I’m not part of – other than to the extent She chooses to share it with me.

I wanted to discuss it with Her while we had a cup of tea, but I was too humiliated to bring it up, so after She left for the office I exchanged the attached text messages with Her.

Where are You?

Mistress left to drop the kids at 8:20 this morning. She starts work at 10am, and it’s a 20 minute journey each way, so She had an hour to kill.

It’s ten minutes to ten now, so where is She? What has She been doing this past 45 minutes?

I’m not allowed to ask. Last Friday evening when She was late in the office I asked if Her boyfriend was there with Her, and She caned me severely for it. I am not to ask what She is doing, ever. She will let me know if I need to know, or She wants to let me know.

So that’s that. After those canes, I didn’t ask this morning.

I wonder if She’s thinking about it, and Her pussy is tingling? I think it must be – because She’s never done this before – gone off an un-accounted hour.

Wanked

Last night in bed Mistress wanked my cock – it was great. She told me She was not sucking it, that I did not deserve the attention She gave Her boyfriend. I should cum all over myself. She stopped wanking me. “Say it!” She said, “Say I do not deserve the attention You gave Your boyfriend today”.

“I do not deserve the attention You gave Your boyfriend” I said, as a huge orgasm let rip and I came all over myself.

Watching the clock

He was supposed to leave their date at 4pm to go back to work for another diary appointment.

It’s 4:12 now, and not a word from Her….

Oops – She’s just called – She’s in Her car. They had a great time – long chat and ended up in the hotel lift. She took his cock out and her played with Her pussy, and when he said he was cumming, She dropped to Her knees and swallowed it! With the lift stopped on the 3rd floor! Lucky no one opened the door! So now they’ve parted and he’s gone off happy – mission accomplished.

Unfortunately She’s got to go and pick up the kids so I don’t get to kiss the taste out of Her mouth. But we’ve always said this is about Her and what She wants, not about me.

Sex

We seem to have had a weekend full of sex. Friday, Saturday and Sunday! But still not enough! Never enough!

Mistress has just left for an afternoon date with Dave. They are meeting at a hotel (his choice) although he’s not told Her he’s booked a room. They only have 2:40 to 4pm booked out in the diary, so not long.

It is ‘that’ time of month for Mistress, so it’s going to be tricky if he has booked a room! I glanced at Her Crack over Her shoulder over the weekend and they were crackign about him fucking Her in the arse, so that might be an option – I suggested She take some KY jelly with Her but She didn’t want to look ‘that prepared’. She had said yesterday that She was determined to suck His cock, and he was determined to show it to Her – watch this space! I’ll keep you posted.


She had me polish these shoes for Her to wear. Nothing too loud. She was looking good (as usual) when She left…

They’ve been together for nearly ¾ of an hour now – I wonder what they are up to!

My crime

This morning Mistress turned in the bed, laid Her foot over me and put Her arm around my chest. We sleep naked.

My cock was semi hard and I played with it. She told me to stop and I did.

Her hand was 5 inches from my cock, but She didn’t touch it.

I thought if that were Dave’s cock, She’d go right for it.

I took Her hand and put it on my cock.

She wanked me. As She did, She said “You are not supposed to just put My hand on your cock. You should ask Me if you would like Me to play with your cock. Put yourself down for a punishment for that, and in future, ask.”

So I have recorded it in my punishment book: Today’s 17.9.10. Put Mistress’ hand on my cock and did not ask Her if She would like to play with my cock.”

This evening when we go to bed I will have to report to Her that She told me She would punish me for putting Her hand on my cock, and ask Her if She would like me to present myself for punishment.

She will almost certainly say yes, no matter that the hour, and I will strap on the leg and arm cuffs that She will use to hook my limbs to the 4 posts of the bed before She canes me hard for my transgression.

My arse still has scabs on it from the last time. I suspect She will draw blood tonight.

But this is exactly what I crave. Simplicity. I now know, without any doubt whatsoever, that I should not take the liberty of putting Her hand on my cock. I wish all life were so simple.

"I can't win"

2 minutes go Mistress sent me a text. ‘Kiss kiss’, it said.

When She used to share her Crackberry with me, if She’d not contacted me all day, I’d have checked the time of Her (constant) messages to Dave, and I’d have commented to Her that She spent the whole day talking to him.

If, back in those days, She’s sent me a text like this, then when I looked at Her crack I’d check to see if She’d been messaging Dave at the time, and whether that was what had made Her decide to text me.

I was honest with Her about this (that is one of my major faults – what I call ‘honesty’). I’d say to Her that I believe the only reason She’d texted me was to assuage Her guilt in messaging him, or to show me She was also thinking about me, while She furiously had BBM sex with him.

So She knows that when She texts me, I am suspicious as to the reasons for it. ‘I can’t win’ She says – if I don’t text you I’m ignoring you, and if I do text you, you don’t want it because you don’t believe its genuine.

She’s right. She cannot win.

Today I know I won’t get to see Her crack with him, so I will never know if the two of them were having BBM sex, or arranged a date, or if She told him She wanted him just at the time She decided to text me.

But even though I don’t know, I will assume it. I assume that She was telling him how hot She was for him, and decided to placate me at the same time, feeling a little guilty.

I assume that She didn’t really want to text me – not in the same way that She likes to have BBM sex with him.

And if you think about it, this must be right. Would you rather text your complaining spouse, or exchange messages with your sexy beaux? The answer’s obvious.

That’s the think about cuckolding. There are some things you can’t win…

“Kissing, touching, sucking…”

Last night Mistress was sat next to me texting Dave. She thought I could not see Her screen, but I looked carefully, and could read the bit of the conversation that was visible.

Her: I so need that – I’d love to do it.
Him: Kissing, touching, sucking!
Her: Hmm! I’d love to do some kissing, touching and sucking with you – as soon as possible. X
Him: Right, I’ll get it sorted.

I couldn’t see much more than that, or put any of it into context.

When She used to show me Her crack he was always saying what he wanted to do, and not putting up to it as often as he talked about it. I guess this was just more of that, although, of course, they may have been discussing a specific date. Apparently they are due to meet up on Monday next week some time.

More Oral...

This morning I decided not to offer to lick Mistress’ arse. I was feeling too sensitive due to now knowing what She was doing with Dave. But when She woke up, She told me to lick Her arse and then get out of bed, and that is what I gladly did, thankful for Her guidance.

Thank You

I sent Mistress this text this morning, which you should find self explanatory:

Thank You for Your decision punish me for not bringing Your Blackberry to You after Dave texted You last night.

It is obviously very humiliating to bring You Your crack to read within the context of Your new, private relationship with him, but that does not excuse my naughtiness in not bringing it to You.

We must both remember that this is all about You and what You want, and I am very sure that You will get a much better submissive by adopting a firm hand, so thank You for Your guidance on this. xx

Not knowing

Mistress’ theory is that if I don’t know what She’s doing with Dave then it can’t worry me.

But of course as She got dressed in Her short skirt this morning, I presumed She was doing it for him. Now lunch time is over, did they have a date? Are they going for coffee this evening? Have they set up their next fuck date yet? Did She send him any nice sexy messages because She knew I would not see?

Not knowing is more obsessive than knowing, but I guess I’ll get used to it.